View Full Version : Love Hina Fanfiction: Angel Of Darkness: Chapters 1 & 2

Godess Azmaria
06-09-2008, 10:43 AM
Chapter 1

Shinobu was just done making dinner. Everyone, as usual, loved it.
"Yeah, you're the best, Shinobu!"
"Do you need help with cleaning the dishes and tidying up?"
"No, I'm fine, don't worry about me."
"OK, I better get back to my training then," Motoko got up.
"I have to go buy new clothes."
Kaolla ran out the door. Everyone else left the room, Shinobu cleaned the table and took the dish washing.
She was alone in 1st floor of Hinata sou, everyone was busy with their own stuff. Shinobu heard a noise.
"Hello? Who's there? Su?" No one answere
"I suppose it was the wind...the window is open ..so." Then a boy appeared.
"Who are you?"
"My name is Sihozu, who are you then?"
"I'm Shinobu Maehara, what are you doing here? This is a girl dormitory."
"I know, but what makes it so horrible that i visit?"
"How old are you?"

"I'm 17, why?"Sihozu leaned closer to Shinobu.
"What...what are you doing? D-Dont..."Sihozu kissed Shinobu.
"You're very pretty..."Shinobu blushed.
"Yes...you're the prettiest girl I've met." She was surprised of his words, her first kiss...
"You're so beautiful, let me give you a hug..."
Shinobu let him.
But what she didn't see was that the boy had a washing rag in his hand.
"Close your eyes," he kissed her again.
Shinobu did as she was told,and closed her eyes. She felt something cover her mouth.
"N-no! Dont do it! No..."Shinobu fainted, fell asleep.
The boy laughed.
"Now all i have to do, is getting her out of here."
She was very light so he carried her out of the house, down the stairs, where a car stood, waiting.
A man stepped out of the car.
"Hurry up, we don't have all day! Get her into the car."
Sihozu threw Shinobu into the car, and they drove away, in 120 km/h.
"Shinobu? Can we play?"

Su ran into the kitchen, Only to find it empty. "What's this?" Su picked up the washing rag.
"Yuck, smells horrible."
Su threw it in the sink. Unfortunately, she had breathed enough of it to make her fall asleep.
The world began to spin, faster and faster...she fell to the floor and didn't move.
Naru went to get something to eat, then she noticed Su laying on the floor.
She didnt move an inch.
"Can you hear me?! I need to call a doctor!" Naru hurried to the phone, she called the doctor they used to have.
"Hello, i need a doctor, one of the girls here isn't conscious."
"I think she needs a medical check. I cant get a respond from her, I'm getting worried."
"I will be on my way now, soon."
Naru carried Su to the sofa, and carefully laid her down. She spotted the washing rag on the floor.
"What's this?"
Naru took it to the fireplace, and burned it.
"It smells weird," Naru did smell on it, "it smells like...like...Chloroform..oh no! Su!
Naru shook her.
"Please wake up Su!"
Naru prayed for Su's life, if the dose of chloroform was big enough, you could die.
It was deadly in big doses, how much had Su gotten in her?

A while later:
"This is chloroform yes, it makes people go to sleep, but a very deep sleep, if you get too much of it, it can kill you."
"Luckily for Su, she didn't get much on her, only enough to make her sleep a couple of more hours, and she will be OK."
Naru looked at him.
"But make sure she eats properly and drinks water, OK?"
"If she feels dizzy and such, call for me. If that happens, she has to get to the hospital."
"OK, thank you for all your help Sir."
"Why do you keep chloroform here? Any particular reason?"
"We don't keep that in the house."
"How could it gotten here then?"

Hideki Motosuwa.
06-10-2008, 02:46 PM
Very nice 1st chapter(even though I've never read Love Hina 0_o;). So if this is the 1st chapter, I'm guessing that there's more to come, right?? ^^ I liked it, I would really like to know especially, what Sihozu is going to do with Shinobu 0.0 But it is a good thing that Su didn't die from the Chloroform, that wouldv'e been really sad, especially for this kind of series :laugh:

Godess Azmaria
06-10-2008, 02:49 PM
hehe, thanks, sure, in time you will find out what happened to Shinobu, but im gonna keep it a secret a little while,hehe, but i am gonna let one person die, if its not gonna be shinobu ,it will be someone, but im not sure who and how yet.

Hideki Motosuwa.
06-10-2008, 03:07 PM
hehe, thanks, sure, in time you will find out what happened to Shinobu, but im gonna keep it a secret a little while,hehe, but i am gonna let one person die, if its not gonna be shinobu ,it will be someone, but im not sure who and how yet.
Nice xd That would suck if Shinobu dies T_T But it's your story, so keep up the good work, Godess!! ^_^;

06-11-2008, 03:06 PM
Oo! Very good! Very dramatic! Lol. Nicely done, Azmaria! *gives you a cookie* ^^

Very interesting, chapter 2. I love it. Thanks for the heads up in the PM. I would have never known that you did chapter 2. Lol! Keep going! So far, so good.

06-12-2008, 12:28 PM
Oh hehe! I loved the first chapter! Keep up the great work. I'm rooting for you. <3

Godess Azmaria
06-13-2008, 09:13 AM
Chapter 2

It was getting dark, and no one had seen Shinobu since they left after dinner.
"Did anyone see her since after dinner?"
"No, when i walked to the kitchen, i found it empty, i was going to ask her something, but she wasn't there."
"We should call the police."
Motoko held her arms crossed.
"Shinobu isn't that type of girl, to go out late on town, when its dark."
"OK, I'm gonna call the police.
Keitaro got up and walked towards the phone, and called the police.
"I would like to declare a person missing, and there might be some clues, we haven't moved anything."
"Yes, who is this person?"
"Her name is Shinobu Maehara, she is 16 years old, and her hair is black with a hint of blue. Her eyes are dark blue."
"How tall is she?"
She's about 1,64 tall."
"What is she wearing?"
"She is wearing....a blue sweater and white tights, and sandals."
"We will send someone up to investigate tomorrow, Hinata Sou,right?"
"Yes, thats about right, thanks for all your help, Sir."

She doesn't have any enemies, does she?
No, she doesn't, not far as i know. Keitaro ended the phone conversation.
The other girls looked at him.
"I think everyone should get some sleep, and we'll think about it in the morning, OK?" The girls nodded.
Everyone left for their own rooms, to get sleep. Keitaro was worried, the youngest resident in Hinata Sou was missing.
As from now on, until she was found, it was his main concern.
Before each and everyone of them went to bed, they had a night prayer, praying for Shinobu's life.
The investigators came the next morning.
And Shinobu hadn't showed up yet.
They searched every corner of Hinata, they found some unknown DNA, and footprints, that didn't belong to anyone in Hinata.
"We have to take a DNA test of each and everyone of you, you don't have anything against it do you?"
"No problem."
"Its a normal procedure when these sort of things happens.
When we have stated that the DNA doesn't belong to any of you, we're gonna send it to analyze."
Keitaro listened carefully.
"If we're lucky, we will have the result in the end of this week."

"I hope nothing happened to Shinobu, i would never be able to forgive myself," Keitaro said to himself.
He prayed once more for Shinobu's safe return.
It was a good idea to put posters of Shinobu around in Hinata town, and hand out information about her to people they met.
Everything to get Shinobu back, safe and sound.
So Motoko and Naru were in town, placing posters on every wall and light they saw.
With a picture of Shinobu and the police number they could call, if they had any evidence.
"I hope this will work,"
"I'm sure it will, just give it time, before we know it, we will have her back with us."

"I hope you're right."
"I'm not worrying about the rest of us, but we don't know what happened to her, or why, maybe she was raped and hurt ...or...?"
"Calm down Motoko, let's not expect the worst, we cant give up hope."
"No, we cant."
"I have an idea, we could check out town, where the criminal and drug addicted people hang around."
"If Shinobu is anywhere in Hinata town, its there, it has to."
"What if...they sold her, for money to buy drugs and alcohol?"
Naru sighed.
"Then we'll never see her again!"
Back in Hinata, Keitaro, Su, Kitsune and Mutsumi were gathered around the living room table, talking.

They were talking about, not surprising, Shinobu.
"What do you think happened to her?"
Kitsune didn't drink sake, for once. She promised herself, that she wouldn't drink sake until Shinobu was back again, safe and sound.
"Do you want my opinion?"
"As i see it, there is two possibilities."
"Which is..?"
"She was taken, to be sold on the slave marked or she was killed here and someone took her body with them, those who killed her."
"Seems reliable, but how come there was no blood anywhere?"
"She was, if so, strangled to death."
"Naru mentioned the doctor asked why we kept chloroform in the house, but we aren't keeping that here, are we?"
"No, not far as i know, Kitsune looked puzzled.
The question is, Who brought it here, and why."
"Could it be possible that someone used Chloroform to force Shinobu with them, to scare her?"
"Maybe....time will let us know."

06-13-2008, 03:24 PM
I like this but I am worried about Shinobu. When are you gonna post more???

06-22-2008, 03:31 AM
I love this fan fic Azzy-chan ^_^

Keep up the good writing!!

06-23-2008, 08:31 PM
so so so so so good i think your story is better then mine!

06-24-2008, 08:37 AM
Nice^^ I like your style. I thought a long time over a hint I could give to you. There´s only one thing. Sometimes you wrote i, sometimes you wrote I. Try to capitalizing every I and words which should bewritte with a capital.

06-29-2008, 06:36 AM
i already read it once before. and can just say: very well done, a bit like detective conan, but just a bit. but the whole story is very good!

07-03-2008, 04:35 PM
I like it! It makes you wonder what's gonna happen next. ;) Keep writing. I wanna see what happens! lol XD