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Maroko
03-13-2008, 03:32 PM
HI everyone! This song is from the show Mahoromatic.
I have some problems with some lines of the song specially with Mahoro's comments. I hope you can help me, and also tell me if there are some mistakes inthe english grammar of the translation ( I'm not so good in english as I would like to).



メイドのココロ by Kawasumi Ayako (Mahoro)


「おはようございます!はい、お仕事です」
Good Morning! Ok, let's work!


炊事・洗濯 戦闘開始

猪突猛進 止まらない
エブリタイム お仕事です
ほぉら ステキな朝です
When I start cooking, doing the laundry or fighting,
there's no way to stop myself and I can't help being reckless.
I'm working everytime, look, what a wonderful morning.


身だしなみも肝心です
エプロンドレス ひらりひらり
背中には ちょうちょ結び*1
これで決まりです
Personal presentation is also crucial for me.
I tie my apron dress lightly in my back,
and with this everything is settled.


「メイドたるもの常にきちんとした身なりでなければ
ご近所の方々に笑われます」
Usually, maids who don't take care properly of their personal appearance become the laughing stock of the neighborhoud.


心を込めてお仕えします
わたしの願いはひとつだけ・・・
喜ぶ顔がみたいのです
そしたら私もシアワセなんです
I'll serve you putting all my heart into it,
since my wish is merely one...
To see your happy face, and
if that is the case, I am happy too.


ちょっと怒ってみたり 涙になったり
あなたのこと心配してるんです
そうよジョーシキ ぶっ飛ぶ*2 
大きな愛を
あなただけに捧げましょう
If I get a little angry or sad,
it is because I'm worried about you.
I'll offer you this big love just to you.


「心頭滅却すれば火もまた涼しです。
ご家庭はわたくしの新たなる戦場なのです。
さあ、今日も一日がんばっていきまっしょい!」
If you clear your mind, you can make even fire cool down.
This house is my new battlefield.
Today, as usual I'm going to give the best of me.


朝もはよから 作戦会議*3
ランチお弁当 なにしましょ
エブリシング 完壁です
デザートも忘れずに!
Early in the morning during a strategy assembly,
I decide what we will have for lunch.
Everything is perfect, oh yes, I musn't forget the dessert.


いってらっしゃい 気をつけて
笑顔でお見送りします
あの角を曲がるまで
手をふっています
Good bye, be careful! I see you off with a smile
and wave my hand until you turn the corner.

「一生懸命おつくししたく思う所存であります」*4
I think I must work as hard as I can.


ときにはうっかり あくびなどひとつ
ポカポカ陽気が誘います*5
居眠りなんて いたしません
20と4時間戦っています
Sometimes, a careless yawn and ...
Despite I fell asleep, I fight 24 hours a day.


今日は特売セール はりきっています
あなたのためがんばりたいのです
そうよジョーシキ ぶっ飛ぶ*6 
オイシイ愛であなたのこと待っています
Today there is a special sale
and I'll try hard to get it for you.
I will waiting for you with a delicious love dish.




*1 This one means to make a butterfly-like tie, but I don't know how exactly translate it.

*2 Don't know what does "joushiki buttobu" means.

*3 Sakusen kaigi作戦会議 literally means strategy meeting or assemly, but I think there must be a better translation for this word to give good sense to the whole statement. For example:" Early in the morning I designed a strategy to decide what to do for lunch"

*4 I don't know how to put in order this sentence in english:huh: . Also おつくししたくis not clear for me.

*5 What would be an accurately translation for all this paragraph?:help2:

*6 Again ジョシッキぶっ飛ぶ。

Thanks to all you people for your help and advice.:)

Rizuchan
03-13-2008, 05:45 PM
Most of my comments are on little grammar things that sound unnatural.

Personal presentation is also crucial for me.
-> Appearance is also crucial to me
Personal presentation isn't wrong, "appearance" just sounds a bit more natural I think. On the other hand, "Personal presentation" does sound a bit more formal, which might fit the singer better... I'd like input from another native English speaker.

I tie my apron dress lightly in my back,
-> I tie my apron dress lightly on my back
In this case, it would be 'on' not 'in' :)
A butterfly-like knot... In English I think that's just a bow. There is a "butterfly knot", but it's nothing like a bow, and you would never tie an apron in that kind of knot.
so perhaps
-> I tie my apron dress in a bow lightly on my back

since my wish is merely one...
->Since my wish is just one...
or "since my wish is just a single wish" merely doesn't quite sound right here.

そうよジョーシキ ぶっ飛ぶ joushiki is "common sense", buttobu means "to fly away", I think.
So something like
"All my common sense flies away"

To see your happy face, and
if that is the case, I am happy too.
-> If I can see your happy face
Then I too am happy
"If that is the case" isn't used much in conversational English. Once again, not wrong, just unnatural sounding.

Early in the morning during a strategy assembly,
I like the alternate you have in your footnotes. Another good possibility is
"Early in the morning I had a strategical meeting [...]" Its still not something commonly used in English, but when it is it would be called a "stratiegical meeting"

"I think I must work as hard as I can."
所存 here means "intentions", so something like "I intend to always work as hard as I can!"
Though honestly I'm unclear on "おつくししたく" as well :/


Today, as usual I'm going to give the best of me.
-> Today, as usual, I'm going to give it my best!
Just rephrasing. And adding a comma after "usual" just because I'm grammar picky. :laugh:

ときにはうっかり あくびなどひとつ
Sometimes I'll do something like give a single yawn

Its a bit wordy but that's the only way I ever know to handle "など"

ポカポカ陽気が誘います
Pokapoka means "to spread through the body", so
"I invite the warm weather to spread through me"

居眠りなんて いたしません
20と4時間戦っています
I can't be dozing off!
I'm fighting 24 hours a day!

I think that's it. :D

ainotenshi
03-14-2008, 09:57 AM
Someone is probably DIEING to tell me I'm wrong, but I DON'T CARE so here it is:

おつくししたく

could be お 尽くし したく

お ~ polite prefix, ignore this
尽くし ~ devotion, serving (someone)
したく ~ from したい , means "want to do", shitaku makes it into "wanting to do"

o tsukushi shitaku ~ wanting to serve ? ~ wanting to work

M e O w ~ ~ ~

Maroko
03-15-2008, 08:03 PM
Thanks for the grammatical corrections, sometimes I forget little things when writing english;
is harder for us, people who are not native speakers to do these translations because it means a double effort.

On the other hand,I used words like "merely" or "personal presentation" because Mahoro san is a character who always speaks politely and properly,
but I think is better to make the translation with common words so that it doesn't look unnatural.:) Fortunately I post this translation first here before posting it in the lyrics page.

Now about japanese, I'm not sure about what you said of そうよジョーシキ ぶっ飛ぶ, .
I looked up in a dictionary and found that ぶっ飛ぶ means to beat or to strike,and not "to fly away" so I think a more accurate translation would be:
そうよジョーシキ ぶっ飛ぶ
大きな愛を
あなただけに捧げましょう
That's right, this big love that beats down my common sense,
I'll offer it only to you.

What do you think?

The rest is just great! Thank you so much, now I can make the whole translation!:laugh: Well, except for the 一生懸命 sentence.:closedeye

Maroko
03-15-2008, 08:18 PM
Thanks for your contribution Ainotenshi,
I'm not a japanese expert but for me your explanation
really makes sense, so according to this and what Rizuchan said about 所存,
the translation could be:
一生懸命おつくししたく思う所存であります
"My intention is to think always of working as hard as I can".