View Full Version : Sonic Heroes

08-10-2007, 08:43 PM
Okay, so recently I was digging through my closet when I came upon this game. I still remembered how dissappointed I was after playing this game for the first time. The nightmares coming back. I decided that it couldn't have been as bad as I thought but oh, how I was wrong. After playing ten minutes of this game I decided it would be best to use this as a frisbee for my dog, but then I thought that even he didn't deserve that kind of punishment. This is a one time thing but after playing this atrocity of a game I felt I had to rant about it and more importantly, warn gamers.

Big the Cat - It is apparent he suffers from severe mental retardation along with a severe case of obesity and even though he tries to reach out to Sonic to tell him that he should have never been put to life, Sonic is too much of an egotistical bastard to take the time to listen. His only friend is a frog that in all truthfulness, doesn’t even like him that much.

Dr. Eggman - Muhuhahaha! I am going to tell you every painstaking detail of my preparations including directions from your exact coordinates to my headquarters courtesy of yahoo maps and every flaw in every contraption I have ever used in the attempt to destroy you and in fact, screw the whole world domination thing! Why not just come over for tea.

Tails - Does my feminine voice give you some sort of perception about me? Well it’s not true! Just because I am with Sonic twenty-two hours a day does not mean I have a crush on him! And I am a technological genius even though most of the crap I say is not logical whatsoever, check out my gizmolazeraboomaray! Don’t make any objections to the fallacy! Isn’t that right Sonic? Sonic! Where is my precious Sonic!?

Sonic - I can go lightning fast! I am cool! I go through twenty seven levels of nothing but curling into a ball to hit robots with my spine and jumping through hoops so this means I’m cool right? Right? Ehehehehe. I’m going to go look at myself in the mirror for another twelve hours. Come here Tails and tell me how cool I am.

Knuckles - Knuckles…Well, actually Knuckles is a decent character besides the fact that in this game apparently he is going through roid rage or something. I mean in some of the previous games he would break blocks but in this game he is smashing through walls, elevators, buildings, I mean Jesus, he is like the Echidna version of Barry Bonds.

Or in this case, some incoherent saying every twenty seconds. I preferred Maria.

Rouge - She wears ten pounds of make up and some cloth that just doesn’t quite cover herself, especially her chest. Her origins are unknown but I’m suspecting a New York alley between the hours of twelve and two.

E3 Omega - Would have been a decent character if it the stereotypical robot thing wasn’t laid on so harshly. “TERMINATE! DESTROY! TERMINATE! DESTROY! TERMINATE! CANNOT COMPUTE! DESTROY!” This thing is begging to take a crowbar to the face from T-1000.

Amy Rose - By far one of the most annoying characters in the sonic series. She’s sweet to the point where I want to puke and ignorant beyond belief. She stalks Sonic in a pathetic attempt to try to marry him but we all know this can’t happen because he is already married to Tails.

Cream - No…point. No…point.

Vector - Looks like he is trying to hard to rip off African-American culture. This character just fails, badly.

Charmy - A little childish bee. I have never seen a bee look cute and I don’t want to start now. She needs to have big hideous eyes, buzz incessantly, and her attack should be nature taking it’s course.

Espio - A purple/yellow, three foot seven, chameleon, expert ninja/spy/genius. Makes sense to me.

Gameplay Summary
Gameplay consists of collecting rings, jumping through hoops, literally running around in circles, and upon every action of a character the same phrase over and over again. Example: *Flies with Tails* Tails: Weeeee *Attacks with Tails* Tails: Weeeeee *Runs with Tails* Tails: Weeeee. (As you can imagine, play this game for more than a half an hour with every few seconds or so of that)
Enemies are various, red ship, blue ship, green ships. The ships do make an attempt to harm you but their accuracy is atrocious and so you can easily do away with them. Then there is the turtles, let’s not forget the turtles. That’s right, a Sonic game just couldn’t do without fighting turtles.
There is the green turtle who just sits and waits to be attacked and then there is the ever so clever gold turtle with a laser strapped to his back as if for some sick experiment. Accuracy is still bad but the power of the gun is stronger.
All you have to do is tip this poor turtle over and you are fine. There are also these feeble robots but they do not show up often. There are four different teams but every team has three characters in which do their parts based on their attributes. (Speed, Power, Flight). The thing that makes this game so monotonous is that using Charmy is pretty much the exact same thing as using Tails. Using Sonic does not differentiate to the slightest degree from using Shadow.

Environment/Levels: 5/10
I don’t even see the point in having teams besides it gives you more things to do, or I should say, more things to endure (more of Tails whining or Shadow’s grumbles, more rolling up into a ball and smashing little x-wing wannabe ships, more jumping through hoops and turtle tipping). It is really redundant and annoying. The only thing original is the levels. But jumping through hoops in a casino doesn’t seem much more appealing than jumping through hoops on any other level. Some levels have very few modifications as in one level mainly blue, one level mainly purple.

Controls: 5/10
Controls are simple. Too simple. The only thing more simple than this was Samurai Western. Basically, the controls are hitting A continuously (Run/Fly) Hitting B (Attack) and hitting Y if you want to switch characters.

Visuals/Graphics 5/10
Graphics are decent but nothing spectacular. Visuals don't have to be great considering most of the gameplay is hovering in the air, curling into a ball, smashing stuff or any variants of those. Nothing above average with the exception of a few cut scenes.

Audio: 3/10
The music was horrid. It wasn’t even really music. It sounded like a broken air conditioner turning on and off or a mouse giving birth to an elephant. Good god, all I am asking for is a mix, or a rock-ish song, or if you can even pull it off, a soundtrack but this was like diarrhea covered in techno pop.

Camera Controls/Glitches: 7/10
The camera controls are not smooth but they are average. The only time it is irritating is when you are trying to run to places and the camera is moving all over the place. Another thing that astonished me was that a few times I actually fell through the floor of the level.

My Rating: 3/10

Don’t waste your money. It’s not even worth renting. Most will probably say it deserves better because it's a childrens game. My stomach seems to hurt now. Probably because I ate this game.

08-11-2007, 06:01 AM
haha you really do hate this game XD
Well I know what you mean, this game isn't that great. Sonic Adventure 2 Battle is MUCH better :)

Perpetual Specter
08-11-2007, 10:33 AM
haha you really do hate this game XD
Well I know what you mean, this game isn't that great. Sonic Adventure 2 Battle is MUCH better :)
Yeah,Sonic heroes sucked.I still hated it mostly because the retarded camera won't stay still.

08-11-2007, 12:37 PM
played and hated it. i mean i would rather have a root canal then play this game

08-11-2007, 02:18 PM
I've played Sonic Heroes and I can't say that I hate the game. o.O
Well, I didn't play long enough, so I can't say much. I only liked the Sonic team and I thought the other characters were weird and lame. -.- The graphics isn't TOO BAD, but I gotta say that it was sometimes rather annoying to have to change character all the time... but I think the game is okay if you're really bored.

08-11-2007, 08:26 PM
I hate the game because of the dumb and retarted music and mini-games. Some of the characters looks like they were drawn by 2 year olds! But still i keep it deep in my closet for some sucker to take off my hands

08-15-2007, 03:09 AM
I didnt think the game was that bad I think the game was ment for the younger gamers out there

08-15-2007, 10:19 PM
I miss the good 2D Sonic games. It's strange how a good game series was so good in the begining and turned into something so bad.

At least it's not quite as bad as Shadow the Hedgehog :<_<: