View Full Version : Original Fiction: "Kerushii Black"

01-09-2007, 04:33 PM
My eyes squinted open, the sound of thunder jolting in the trees. A large storm was approaching, Not much I could do. I got to my feet and carried myself to a deep hole in the earth. it was pitch black, nothing, not even a light at the end of a tunnel was seen. I felt my way around the walls, my long and flowing onyx dress kissing the ground at my feet as I walked. The leather in the soles of my boots made no sound as I passed through the caverns walls. The sleeves of my dress hung loose from the elbow down, like the wings of angels.

About my neck, hung my only jewel worth a steal, a sapphire orb that hung on a silver strand of twine. Even in this pitch blackness, I felt uneasy about it. Just as I entered the cave, like a blind bat, I could feel strong hands on my waist. Rope, being bound to my wrists, ankles, and neck. I lifted my head to try and see the face of my attacker, but could see nothing.

A while later, light would flash in my eyes, and the first face I had seen was that of my enemy, Koru's. He placed a soft hand on my cheek. With a kind voice he spoke to me, but I was not fooled. They wished my people dead, and I the same to them. They took me as a captive to their camp by the river. There, I was put to work as a stable girl. Working in my best gown, this was an outrage! A few moments later, the "Prince" came and gave me a simple dress. It ran down to my ankles, and was tied with a simple bow.

I knew, that from here on in, I would have to earn my keep to get out of this dreadful place.

This is the start of a story I'm writing. Please tell me what you think, and if I should stop writing or continue.

01-11-2007, 04:21 PM
I think you should keep writing. Especially on here. It's hard to find people on these forums that can actually WRITE.

01-14-2007, 11:30 AM
lol Yeah, that is true. Thank you for the positive. =3

01-14-2007, 12:16 PM
This is the continuation of the Story. I will post it page by page, unless told to stop.

-- I knew that from here on in, I would have to earn my keep to get out of this dredful place. --

The next day, it was sunny and clear. The heat was calmed, but still would cause a problem if I had overworked myself. I could care less. I worked myself to the bone and in my progression, I had mucked 10 stalls. Still, the day was young. I decided to head to the rodeo, in which I could truly earn some points with the other workers. In the ring was a pure black stallion. Wild as ever.
"Not one man in this crowd can tame this beast?!" Yelled the announcer to what seemed like the entire army.
"Then why not let a woman try?" I said with a simple smile. I calmly entered the ring, still wearing that disgusting garment. I heard a trail of laughter comeing from behind me. People screaming their heads off.
"What have you got to loose? A stall mucker isn't much, right? Let me have a go." I added in to back me up.

The announcer gave a nod and I approached the horse. With a smile, I griped it's mane and swung my right leg over the side of it's stomach. It bucked at ran but stoped on a dime. This horse was a beauty. I lowered my head so it was level with the horse's strong jaw line. My hands were on his mane still and I held on loosely as it slowed down. Finaly, it stoped. The entire crowd was dead silent.
"Like I said what have you got to loose?" They were all stunned. A man took the horse and it followed him obediently. Again they brought out a horse, and again I had calmed it.

Nightfall came and I had passed each mockery with a smile. I was not about to have some boys with guns tell me I was nothing. I proved myself today, and I could do that until they had trusted me. I was put in my small abode yet again, and was tied by my ankles alone. I don't mind the tying, but being one of five women made me a bit uneasy.

"They aren't going to get me to die too easily..." I told myself as I fell into a deep sleep.

01-19-2007, 10:02 AM
That night, I heard the wind howl like crazed dogs. If it were not for the binds, I could easily escape. But because they had bound me, it would have taken too much time. The night never did last long for me, but it felt like a year had gone by when the light finaly brushed my eyes.

From outside my "friendly" abode, I heard voices chatting. The gaurds comming to untie me. Another day of working and another reason to escape. As I was cleaning up one of the stalls, I came across the very same horse I had tamed not too long ago. I looked into the beast's eyes. I had just done the same thing they had done to me. Stolen freedom. I saw in the horse's mane, a piece of paper. I took it from the mane, and with a gasp I read the name "Kerushii."

My heart stopped. How is it this horse had come upon this? This could not be the same horse that was there in the feild that night so many moons ago. I began to flash back to that night. When I was five years old in the pouring rain.

"Kerushii! Get inside, you're going to catch your death out there!" screamed the lady in blue at the door to the castle.
"In a minute, mother!" said the young girl, smiling and staring into the woods. "There is somthing out there! It looks like a bleeding horse!" said the girl as she ran off without another thought.

Indeed it was, and in it's mane was a letter. It read the name "Callous." The girl tore open the letter and began to read. 'Dear Callous. You are now a member of our family. Welcome to the horse nation. Beware of the wolves.' I being of the wolves nation, glanced around. Nothing, not even a smere of blood. Did the wolf people get him, and his horse? I wasn't sure then nor am I now. But there was a horse bleeding and it was pure black.

I jumped back into reality with a jolt as the horse moved closer to me. I felt a strong hand on my shoulder and was frozen.

"You are not here to watch a beautiful horse, your here to clean his stall." Said a strong voice from behind me. I turned around quick and glared, but that would soon fade. I noticed it was the prince the moment I turned around.

"Sorry, sir. But it's not like I am being treated in the best of conditions." I scolded him with a tone gentle like the wind, so as not to anger him. I brushed by him and he grabbed my arm.

"Do not talk to me like that." Said he with a glare. I was not afraid. He could do nothing to me if he wished it.

"Sir, I would suggest you take your filthy hands off of me this instant!" I glared back. You could tell he was not used to being talked to this way.

"Do you know who you are yelling at?!" he screamed back at me.
"Yes, a selfish prince with nothing but one army. My father will not be pleased you have inslaved me. I'm the princess of the wolf clan, not some mere girl!" I tore my arm from his grip before he could say another word. Walking away, I heard him yell after me, but I just kept walking.

01-19-2007, 10:04 AM
This one was a little long. Sorry about that. I hope whoever views this likes it, because I have not heard any complaints yet. Thank you for reading this story, those of you that did. -Bows head in respect.-