Reiako's SuHaFu Writing Challenge #1

[Fabala]

Please post your submissions for Challenge #1: Characterization Through Dialogue here. Refer to the main SuHaFu Challenges (http://www.animeforum.com/showthread.php?t=47137) thread for details and any and ALL questions.

Feel free to give feedback as desired, keeping in mind that much of this is done for practice and fun.

Remember, post ONLY the submissions and feedback here. Everything else goes in the main thread or in a PM to me or Princess Ai.

[Ωmega]

Heh...I did this in a script writting class once. Just to make it easier to read, I'll label the characters 'A' and 'B'

A: So, how was school today?
B: Eh, it was ok I guess
A: How're things between you and Mark?
B: ....Mark and I split up a few weeks ago...
A: What happened? Are you ok honey?
B: I'm fine. And we broke up because he's a jerk, and I got tired of it.
A: He seemed like such a nice boy too...did you two ever do.....it?
B: MOM! NO! And even if we did, though we didn't, I wouldn't wan't to tell you!
A: Why not? I thought we told each other everything?
B: Please. This is the first time in a long time that we've talked for more than 5 minutes. So spare me. Why the sudden interest in my life?
A: Well...honestly?
B: Uh-duh honestly.
A: Remember that girl Kristan...she lived a few houses down?
B: Yeah...what about her?
A: She died yesturday. Her parents found her in the bathroom...she had overdosed on some kind of drug.
B: Ah. Its takes a stranger's death for you to take any kinda interest in me. Bet you're worried I'm doing something too? Gee, thanks mom for all the trust.
A: No, it just showed me how...unexpected death is. I just don't want you or myself to die with the weak bond we have. It made me realize that I don't know you at all. I don't know what kind of music you like, what you do for fun...and I want to. I want to know everything about you Susan.
B: Well...I guess thats ok. But just not now...cause I'm kinda tired and all.
A: How about we go shopping this weekend?
B: Sure mom...sounds great. And...I'm sorry I snapped at you. I just want you to know that I...you know.
A: I know sweety, I love you too.

[Luzifer]

A: Been a while since you were here Reg! A jeez you sure missed a lot!
B: Why do you always insist on talking to me?
A: Don't be like that! Have a beer! Barkeep! Two shots here!
B: You never change
A: Ah thats what I call taquila! I don't change? You haven't done anything with yourself since you lost that one job at... um... the... something something ministry...
B: The Beurocratic Ministry of Human Advancement
A: Yeah that... Remember the good old days.
B: Yes but scarcely would I call them good. A hovering nimbus of boredom of draped with a pall of raving parties... not what I call "good old days"
A: Wha? You still talk funny...
B: Basically what i said was that life was fun but left me hollow.
A: Oh well why didn't you say so!
B:I did.
A: Well... heeeeeey see those girls over there.
B: What hepititis A and hepititis B?
A: Jerk but yeah them...
B: What about them?
A: I think one of them is checking you out...
B: Grow up dude your not in college anymore
A: Come on live a little...
B: Already did....I lived when I was doing something with my life... not kicking back in a goddamn sleeze joint like this
A: You just need to learn to have a good time... forget your worries...like me for example
B: heh You were always good at that, you never did your work in college you would drink your ambrosia of hops and barley while nymphs would dance atop your bed...
A: huh?
B: you shirked your work and drank and partied...
A: Well yeah of course!
B: Don't you ever do anything besides drink...
A: I used to...
B: I'm sorry I didn't mean too...
A: Ah, its okay... nothing will bring her back...
B: true...
A: just like nothing will bring back your job! HAHA! Shot here barkeep
B: you really never change
A: probably not

Thats mine...

[Ami~chan]

"It all started when I was ten years old..."
"What started, Papa?"
"An adventure. That's what."
"Really?!?! What kinda adventure? Did it have cool stuff, like dragons and fairies and ninjas and stuff?"
"...No, but it did have me and your grandma."
"Aww... Well, what happened?"
"Well, it all started on a boat back in-"
"A boat?!? Was it big?"
"Don't interupt Caleb! Your Mama taught you better than that."
"...But-"
"But what?!"
"But was the boat big?"
"Yes! The boat was big! Can I get on with my story now?"
"Yep."
"Anyways.... It all started on a boat, more than fifty years ago. I was just a young kid, looking for an adventure in America. Rose was looking for a new start."
"Who's Rose, Papa?"
"That's your grandmama's name. You need to know stuff like that! Do you even know my name?"
"Yep."
"Well, what is it?
"Papa."
"...Yes... We'll just leave it at that... Well, anyways, your grandmama and I had both left our home, looking for new and exciting things in America. One evening, shortly before landing, I was wandering aimlessly around the ship. Then, I saw her. She was standing by the railing of the ship, her red hair whipping in the wind..."
"Who? Who was it?!?!"
"It was your grandmama. It was the first time I laid eyes on her, and from then on, I was in love. Right then, without even asking her name, I asked her to marry me."
"Really? What did she say? Did she say yes?!?!"
"... Well, not at first; we talked it over, and after convincing her I was perfectly sane, we got married. The end."
"...The end? What? You said it was an adventure!!"
"It was an adventure Caleb."
"But it was boring... I wanted fighting and ninjas and unicorns and stuff..."
"It might not seem that amazing, but trust me; love is an adventure in itself."
---

It might seem boring, and the ending might be a little silly, but it's pretty much the best I could do. <3

Sorry I didn't put character A and character B next to each line; I hope people can tell who's who by the dialogue.

[Capo]

"Yo"
"Yo"
"Some day huh?"
"Please. I've been to more exciting nursing homes."
"Don't be like that. Mr. P got sick in scince today."
"He gets sick in scince everyday. I don't get why he's the teacher."
"Okay, Britt, this is so not like you. What's up?"
"Nothing. I'm bored okay?"
"You can't lie to your best friend."
"I can through an IM. ~_^"
"Nope. Not even then."
"Oh drats"
"Drats!? DRATS! What are you, 50?"
"I'm trying not to swear, okay, get off my back."
"Oh I get it."
"Get what?"
"You're trying to impress that Chad boy aren't you?"
"NO!"
"Yes you are."
"I am not."
"Stop denying it. Or I might just ask him out."
"You wouldn't."
"Why not? You don't like him, remember?"
"Because he's taken."
"Oh? By WHO!? Because if that girl stole your man I will have a little talk with her..."
"Jade! That's so mean."
"Just tell me. Who is it"
"..."
"No."
"Yes."
"NO!"
"YES!"
"Oh. My. God."
"I know."
"I am so happy for you."
"Thanks."
------------
"Britt?"
"Britt?"
"Yes..?"
"I'm sorry."
"I know."
"Maybe he got stuck in traffic."
"And maybe he bailed on our wedding."
"Chad wouldn't do that to you."
"Why not?"
"It's been 18 years. He's been faithful, why would he not be now?"
"I don't--"
"Britt?"
"He's here."
"Well get off the damn computer and talk to him!"
"I am"
----------------
"You're brave, Britt."
"Any other woman would have cried."
"I wanted to."
"Why didn't you?"
"I know it's not what he would have wanted"
"He was 95, Britt, it was his time to go."
"I know."
"I'm here for you."
"You always have been."
"I always will be."
"I know."
"Good night, Britt."
"Good night Jade."

[Daenerys]

"Hey."
"Hey..."
"How did it go?"
"How would you think it would go?"
"Was there crying involved?"
"Yeah, my parents..."
"They cry everytime don't they?"
"Yeah, I guess it's just more emotional for them."
"So what do you think about it?"
"The same thing I've always thought about it."
"Ah. Yeah, it's gay."
"Totally."
"Did you see Gwen staring at you earlier?"
"Ew, really?"
"Yeah, I think she's pretty hot."
"Well yeah, but... she's not a nerd."
"So?"
"I don't want to date a dumb cheerleader."
"Yeah, you're too good for that."
"Totally."
"I was being sarcastic."
"Oh... uh... so was I!"
"No you weren't!"
"I so totally was."
"Dude, you're lame."
"Screw you man, you're a jerk!"
"Whatever."
"WHATEVER."

[Myrra]

It's always good to make use of colours.
and if I only I could script my conversations irl.


“Good night, Kim”

“Why can’t you answer my question? A question which only requires a very simple answer. Yes or no? But fine! Run off to bed. I suppose your lack of a proper response is answer enough.”

“Kim?”

“What?!? You refuse to answer my question by choosing to run away…again. I know, I know. Only a nutter wants answers to questions that have yet to be properly asked.
Don’t give me that look!
Yes! I admit it!!
There was more to that question than a simple yes or no answer could provide."

“You angry?”

“No, no I’m not angry. Just disappointed.”

“In me.”

“Not in you. With myself. You’re with her. You’re making plans together. Plans for a future together. A future that I have no place in.”

“You know how I feel…”

“Yes, yes…but the knowing doesn’t make it any easier to bear. Or to hear.”

“But you know how much I love her…and need her.”

“I understand that, on an intellectual level. And I truly am happy for you, for you both.”

“But?”

“But? Look. You’re my best friend. You probably always will be, my feeling for you not withstanding.

“That’s not fair! I care about you.”


“Yes, you care about me. And yet, you still fail to see.”


“See what?”

“That’s my point! You fail to see the price I pay to stay here, to keep you as my best friend.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I know you don’t. And that kills me.”

“What price?”

‘The price I pay every time I’m with you and you are talking about her and your plans for the future. Your future with her. I see that look you get every time you think of her and it hurts. It hurts more than you’ll ever understand or know.”

“What do you want me to do? Choose you over her?”

“NO! No, I would never want that.”

“What do you want then?”

“The only choice I have left to me. I want only that our friendship continue. And so I will pay the price…gladly.”


“Kim…?”

“Good night, Hon. Go to bed.”

“Are you alright? With this?”

“Does it really matter?”

“Yes it does matter. It matters to me.”

“Then yes I’m okay with this. I’m fine. I’ll always be fine. I only want you to be happy.”

“I am happy.”

“I know, so go on. Go to bed. Sweet dreams.”

“You too.”

“I love you.”

“I know you do…good night.”

“Nite.”

[Capernicus]

A: Booyah! Check the oneechaniness!

B: lol ONEECHAN!

A: ONICHAN! Hey! What are you doing up so late?

B: Making more sigs. I still have 14 days to activate PS.

A: PS??

B: Photoshop.

A: OH! Hehe Too lazy to type it out I see. So what happens if you don’t activate it?

B: Then I can’t use it anymore.

A: Damn. That sucks. Stupid piece of—

B: It was probably meant to do that. Only $15, this must be why.

A: Well that’s a rip off. See Onichan! I told you ebay is a rip off! Should have went with amazon.

B: I guess.

A: See if I ever buy anything off ebay again. I’ll have to get you a working version when that one dies.

B: Nah, it’s cool Oneechan.

A: Nah-uh. I let you say that when your birthday present didn’t work with your comp, and I won’t let you say that with…your replacement birthday present…thingy…yeah. Remind me why I bought you it again.

B: Because you love me?

A: That’s right! Hehe So now I’ll have to buy you a replacement replacement birthday…thing.

B: You don’t have to Oneechan.

A: But you were so happy when I told you I was going to get you photoshop, and I like a happy Onichan.

B: You sure?

A: Yep. I’ll look into it on AMAZON.

B: You’re the best Oneechan ever!

A: Hehe Yeah okay, I know, you don’t have to smother me.

B: Oh sorry.

A: Nah, it’s cool. All is forgiven. I just rock like that.

B: w00t

A: w00t

B: So what are you doing up so late?

A: pffft It’s only 11 here, and I just got off work.

B: How was work?

A: Sucked as usual. Some guy called up and he was all "Can I have a cheese pizza with extra cheese no cheese." Hung up that phone real quick.

B: People are retarded.

A: Once some guy asked if he could make reservations. Damn pranks.

B: Yeah really. I think we need to bring back lynchings.

A: Would if I could Onichan.

[Temari]

A: Checkmate
B: Wha..WHAT
A: Check-Mate.
B: Amy you always win.
A: I do not, you just don't know how to play.
B: ...I do too..
A: Really?
B: YES
A: Oh I'm sure you do that's why I just got Checkmate?
B: Oh Shut up. Your no Fun.
A: I am too, hey by the way did you see that guy in the hall today?
B: Ew, Are you talking about the one with the blonde hair?
A: YEAH! Can you say Hot-tiee.
B: Amy, He is so not my type.
A: Every guy isnt your type.
B: That's Not True. Remember Chris?
A: That was in GRADE 5
B: So? He was a hunk.
A: Eh, You have bad taste.
B: I have bad taste? How about that guy Jordan you went out with?
A: Uhm..Okay, He was ugly and didn't have personality I don't know what I was thinking, but enough of that, Let's Play again.
B: And you say I have bad taste!
----------------------

:D Something Funkiee.

[Buruku]

Brooke and Remy: Boldly going nowhere.

cowritten by uh..Brooke and Remy...

Get off your sorry arse Akuma Do a barrel role, do it!

This is pathetic I'm kicking your butt.

YOU SHUT YOUR FILTHY MOUTH!

Ha, someone just a sore loser, you got your butt handed to you by Dan too.

This is bunk I need an arcade stick, controllers suck.

You would say that, you whiney arcade snob.

Screw this.

Hey don't throw my controller!

The game cheats it doesn't read sweeps.

Oh wah wah wah, you baby.

And you're a filthy filthy tramp.

Well now that I've whipped your butt, want to go to the mall?

.....I hate you Brooke.

I'll take that as a yes.

---------------------------

Taking it to the hole, annnnnd slam dunk!

Gosh damn it knock it off, I'm trying to drive here.


serves you right for wearing a low cut shirt.


you asked me to wear it!


Well I can't very well play boobskit ball if you're wearing a turtle neck

can I?


alright we're here, now get out.


oh look!


What? where?


They got a hello kitty store!


oh god.....


come on, well go to phoenix arena after this,


let go of my arm, I'm not going in there.


stop being so grumpy, it'll only take a second.


IT WILL NOT TAKE A SECOND!


But reeeemmmmyyyy Kerroppe wuvs you


And my foot loves Kerropes face. Don't give me that look, and let go of my
arm.


Why are you so stubborn? Its not like people are going to think your gay,
you're clearly going in there
because of me and whoever sees you will know you hate it because of that
sulky look on your face. so just come on.


Fine but when we get home your watching Hellraiser with me.


----------------------------


see? wasn't that fun?

yeah, there's nothing more fun then being surrounded by a bunch of shrieking
8 yr old japanese girls. Besides I thought all this crap was made out of
melted down cats?


pfft whatever, Hold these bags for me for a second, I want to put my
hair up, then we can go wherever you want to go k?


My aching arse I will.


If you hold them I'll buy you a smoothy.


that's a filthy lie and you know it.


Feel better now that you have a smoothy you big baby?

Mildly, I'm going to go see if phoenix miss priced any games again.

GAH BROOKE!


What did soil yourself again?

No, better they have a street fighter 2 champion edition cabinet Do you
know what this means ?


God not again.....


RE MATCH HO!


Ugh, you're picking Sagat again?

Stick to your smutty chun-li and I'll stick with the bad arses thanks much.


Stop doing the tiger punches

Make me

That's cheap

So are you.


TIGER UPPER CUT BIATCH

There happy now, feel like a big man?

You're just jealous of my mad skill

Ugh whatever. Hey look golden axe

I call the chick in the bikini


You suck at Golden axe.

Your mom sucks at golden axe

Whatever, why don't you go play something else you're screwing me up.

I need some money....

Didn't you get paid last Sunday?

Well action figures don't buy themselves do they!


Keep your voice down people are staring Ugh, fine here's ten dollars.

Huzza!

I want change back It's like dealing with a 5 year old, a 5 year old who
needs to shave.

(bout an hour later)


Where the hell were you Remy you were gone for like 40 minutes?


Brooke I beat street fighter 3 with Akuma

Are you proud of yourself?

Very, I even beat like the first 7 fights without losing a single round but
Gill took my like 17 tries I was pissed. If you heard any loud obscenities
it was me fyi.


Well that's cool, can I have my change back now?

Change? Didn't you hear me it took me like 17 tried to beat gill I spent it
all.

Ugh, damn it Remy I needed that for gas

But Brooke I got the top ranking....

Ugh, what are we going to do now?

......................well you could give Bjs in the back alley.

God I hate you.

Well look here it seems I have a twenty in my pocket


Wait did you know you had that the whole time. Why did you ask me for
money?

Don't take this the wrong way but you're sort of a sap.....don't look at me
like that.


Well this 'sap' is going to leave your arse stranded here if you don't
make nice real quick.

Does grabbing your butt count?


OUCH! god it was a joke you yard ape!

This is more than enough excitement for one day lets go home.


Yeah I need a nap hardcore.


----------------------------------


I'm glad to be out of your car it smelled funky in there.

Yeah my brother and his girlfriend borrowed it last night...

Ewwwwwwwwww.


Lets just watch a movie and forget about that.


what movie?


I told you, we're watching hellraisers tonight.


what the heck made you think I'd watch that disgusting garbage?


Hey, I went into that awful hello kitty store, we had a deal!


we did not have a deal, and I'm not watching this movie.


we'll we're either watching hellraiser or making out, those are your options
brooke.


oh I get to choose now? that's mighty generous of you.


MAKE YOUR TIME!


Remy please just pick a different movie.

TURN OFF EVERY ZIG!


Why do I even talk to you?


THEY SET US UP THE BOMB!


No means no.


You say no but my mouth says yes.


yeah, and since when should I trust what comes out of your mouth?


.........mmm


mm....(kissing sounds ok?)


mmm......


....so I guess we're not watching hellraisers?


nope.


END.

I know, it was great writing at its best.

[Damon R.]

"Poppa, poppa!! Lookit me! I'll be just like you and Jamie someday!"
"...Really now? Ya sure you want to be like your mean old poppa and Jamie? 'Cos yesterday you told me that you were yourself and no one else!"
"Eh... Of course I want to be myself, poppa! But y'know.. You're not old, and Jamie isn't either. You're both very nice people."
"Yeah. I know we are."


"...Y'know poppa..."
"Yes, son?"
"You and Jamie are nice people."
"I know, sonny, I know."
"...Then don't let what anyone says bugger you, yea? Just tell them to go away and, and.... screw themselves!"
"SON! Where did you learn that language??"
"..From Nana."
"......"
"Ehh.. But will you tell those bad people that you're nice though? 'Cause you are nice, you know."
"Of course I will. Eventually, I mean."


"...Poppa...?"
"Yes..?"
“…Don’t cry when some nasty people talk behind your backs… you and Jamie aren’t what they’re saying, y’know. They’re just mean people that don’t know you. Even if their words hurt lots, don’t cry, poppa. Me and Jamie hate it when you cry.”
"I...I'll try not to, I promise."
“And I love you and Jamie! Don’t you forget it! Even if those mean people tell you that I don’t love you, they’re lying!”
“…Don’t worry, I know you love me an' Jamie. Just know that I love you guys too."
"Thankies, poppa..."


“…And just to let you know Gabe-- I’m really glad that you’re here with us. You make our lives brighter and easier.”
"...I know, poppa. I know."

[Daimasukí]

-“Hey! Lin wait up! I need to give you something”

+“Huh?….What is it?”

-“Hem…well…it’s a letter I’ve been waiting to give it to you in a while”

+“Awww! KIMARO!!!, that is so sweet! Thank you very much”

-“Hehehe… you’re welcomed, but egh, can you not read it in front of me?”

+“….um, why?”

-“Well we almost don’t have ti….”

+“I don’t care!!! I want to read it right now!”

-“Eh Lin….please we have to go, if we don’t get to class we'll probably get a tardy referral…”

+“What part of I don’t care did you understand?……oh, wait it’s almost 7:15.…….”

-“I’ve been trying to tell you that for a while now, agh! Geez woman! Sometimes I wonder how I fell for you.”

+“……AND WHAT DOES THAT SUPPOSE TO MEAN?!?!”

-“….eh…um….oh gee….I didn’t mean it like that!…oh man…”

+“Then what exactly did you meant?!”

-“Ay ya-yay…..I meant that I wonder how I fell for you becauuuse….”

+“Because, what?”

-“Will you let me finish?!…..I was saying that because we are so different, you are always out going, loud; say what ever is in your mind with out caring what people think. I on the other hand am not, then there’s our parents, but mostly your mom…..”

+“I know what you mean…..AHH! We only have two minutes to make it to class!!!”

-“Really?!, Well what are we waiting for?! Lets get moving!”

+“Okay, I’ll see you after school”

-“Okay then, bye”

+“Bye!”

--------------------------------------------------------------------------
+“Hello?”

-“Hey Lin, it’s me Kimaro, I’m sorry about earlier, my mom came to pick me up unexpectedly”

+“It’s okay, you don’t have to explain”

-“So how did it go?”

+“Agh…..I had to take a test almost in every class today! I’m so exhausted”

-“Well it is the end of school you know, so we have to take finals……..Did you even study?”

+“Of course I did!…..Are you thinking that I cheated?!”

-“No, no, no, no…Not at all, it’s just that we only have a year left of high school and I don’t wish you to be cheating, you could be caught…………I’m just worried about you that’s all”

+“hmm, thanks for worrying, but I know better than that. I’m not going to cheat in any tests I’m going to take this year or next, because I want to earn my 4.0GPA by my own, and have pride in it”

-“Hehehehe, that’s my Lin. I love you hon’”

+“I love you too, sweetie, but how was your day?”

-“As usual, Nick kept talking his mess and Richard stayed quite almost the whole day, but today he said something weird to me, it made me think”

+“What did he say?”

-“Well I told him about my plans, that I wanted to marry you after we graduate high school and get a job. He said I was an idiot, that I wasn’t thinking ahead and that I was letting my future go just for……”

+“For what?”

-“………For a stupid girl….”

+“STUPID GIRL!!!, I’ll show him how stupid I am once I’m done knocking his teeth out!, Wtf is his problem?! He’s always dissing me and making me feel low! I haven’t done anything to that kid!”

-“I don’t know, he just seems to be more……worried, now that we’re all going to be seniors next year. He’s probably scared, I actually feel sorry for him, but he kinda had a point…”

+“I understand what he’s going trough, he’s not the only one that feels that way, but that’s no excuse to be dissing me every time he feels that way. I hate do admit it, but he does have a point.”

-“Yeah,…He does, What do you think we should do then?”

+“I think we should plan our future more adequately. I plan to go to college and get a degree on criminal justice, because I want to be a judge”

-“That’s a good idea….geez now I know what he meant, hahaha! I was just thinking about getting a job after graduating, hmm…well I should go to college as well…, but what if we go to different colleges?”

+“Look hon’ I don’t want us to go to the same college just because we don’t want to be away from each other. We should go to the college of our own choice okay?”

-“Okay, sweety, but just so you’ll know, I’ll always call you every morning and night, because I couldn’t go a day without at least hearing your voice”

+“Awww! Kay then, well sweetie I have to go to bed now, talk to you tomorrow okay?”

-“Hehe, okay, I have to get to bed early as well, I have finals tomorrow”

+“Best of luck and hope you get an A on it”

-“No wonder I love you so much, you’re so caring, I love you very much sweety”

+“Hehehe, I love you too, good night and dream of me tonight”

-“Don’t worry, I will, you’re always in my mind, good night”

+“Bye”

-“Bye”

[Hyku-San]

"And now enters...The Go champion Isuki!"

"Ah, give it a rest, Sana, I'm not that good!"

"Uh, yeah, you are. You're twelve years old, and you came within two points of beating our teacher in Go!"

"You're twelve, too, and you nearly beat him."

"How many times must I tell you? He let me win that!"

"Hmph."

"Ha! I ran the great Isuki out of comebacks!"

"I'm not out of comebacks, I just see no point in wasting my breath when it will change nothing."

"Spoke too soon."

"Yeah....Ooh, look Sana, it's him! The one you liiiiiike."

"Shush, I do not like him!"

"Yes you do."

"No, I don't."

"Sana, I know you too well. You like him, and there's nothing you can do to convince me oethrwise."

"Whatever, but what does it matter if he doesn't like me?"

"I played Go with him once, the only things he would say were questions about you."

"Why would he like me? Why not you? You're slim, you've got those pretty blue eyes, and gorgeous, thick black hair."

"You are exaggerating. Besides, why wouldn't he like you? You've got perfect teeth, you sweet, you've got silky blonde hair, duh everyone loves blondes, and you've got long, black eyelashes that really bring out those green eyes of yours. You're so lucky."

"Lucky? You're the lucky one!"

"They say the grass is always greener on the other side."

"You and your metaphors."