View Full Version : Original Fiction: Scarred - Ch. 3 ~ Shadow Castle

07-08-2006, 05:31 PM
\:}|{:/ Scarred ;:,.|.,:; Chapter 3 ~ Shadow Castle \:}|{:/

Thunder rattled above, in the dark midst of the once tranquil clouds, now raging with red fury. Ruby lightning striped across the sky, leaving streaks of crimson etched across the atmosphere, as more thunder rolled by. The gods are restless tonight, Kivvard thought. He proudly held his prize within his arms; a young girl of 15, draped in Kivvard's cloak. The group of six shades and three unconcious others followed the rusty dirt path, crossing into the dark marshlands of Xelez, the realm of the Darkness. Vlyn walked behind Kivvard with Yuae in his arms, his face showing no emotion under his dark hood. But his mind was whirring with thoughts and uncertainty. Another shade behind them carried a young boy, slightly older than the girl Kivvard carried, salivia sliding down his open mouth. The other shades were whispering to each other, glancing at the comatose boy with disgust. "Ugh, my god. How can humans stand each other? This boy is disgusting." Kivvard rolled his eyes and continued walking, mumbling to himself.
"Why did Tagan stick me with these idiots? The only important one is Vlyn, and he's not exactly the talkitive type." Another menacing burst of thunder stopped Kivvard's complaining and the whispers of the other Shades. Kivvard looked up, and a dark, blue-flamed tower slowly began to appear overhead, through the thick willows of the marshland. As the group proceeded, more of the tower became visible, and became attached to a large, bulkier stone tower, which connected to the black palace-like quarters of Tagun, Tagan, and Tagen, that loomed over the dark marshlands of Xelez: Shadow Castle. Kivvard sighed with relief, and walked up to the huge metal gate, with black spikes protruding from about every angle to ensure security. Two gray-armored guards stood beside the gate on an opposite side, their large, 2 ton swords of titanium easing against their sides. A black star, very similiar to the Star of David, with a red 'X' on the left and right side was encrypted on their armor. The ensignia of the Darkness.

Kivvard approached them with obvious pride; he knew these guards were lower ranks than he, and he took every chance he could to rub it in the faces of those who were. "Open the gate already." The guards shuffled over to the gate, and pulled a switch. A violet beast, a dragon, came from a cave to the right, and placed its claws under the gate's spiked edges. You could tell this animal had been beaten and tortured to be tamed, and it was old, without much nourishment, for its scales were dim and dirty, barely holding any color now. It's black eyes were low and dull, with no life left in them, just despair, and pain. Kivvard merely spit on the beast as it hauled up the great gate, and shifted over to make room for the Shades to pass. Kivvard, followed by his group, entered Shadow Castle, with a final glare at the guards.

"...... uhmm......mm.." Darkness was everywhere. And her head hurt so much. Where... am I? Araviel lifted her self up, and looked around her surroundings. It was dark and cold in there, with great gusts of wind blowing through an open window, where moonlight filtered in. Araviel walked over to the window, and looked outside. Her eyes scowered the area, and found that she was within some sort of town, just outside a forest, where the moon hung over. No stars were present in the dark night sky, just dark clouds that huddled around the bright full moon, but never covered it. A wolf howl in the woods made Araviel back up, and slam into something hard. A menacing growl came from behind her, and Araviel, reluctantly, turned slowly around to meet her death.

Coming Next: Chapter 4: A Lost Soul

07-08-2006, 06:16 PM
I love it!!!!!! but it was so short! but i still can't wait for the next chapter! You used such desricptive words. It was like I was there myself

07-08-2006, 06:28 PM
yeah I know.. I started losing concentration when half finished... i couldn't make myself write more... sorry

07-08-2006, 07:50 PM
=D Every chapter makes me more anxious for the next.

You know, when you get tired of writing, you should stop and pick it up later when you get an idea. Writer's block always kills me.

08-12-2006, 04:40 AM
I'm actually kind of sad when I realized that I had already read this one.

08-15-2006, 10:29 PM
You know, when you get tired of writing, you should stop and pick it up later when you get an idea. Writer's block always kills me.
I second Brody. Sometimes it helps to just go read some other story you really like when you get block. I always find I have my best, most original ideas when I'm reading something that really captivates me, so all I have to do is put it down and start writing until my brain exhausts itself again.

Oh yeah, I likes you're writing style! I can't comment on the story yet-- I feel I shouldn't have started with chapter three >_<. I'll have to look up the others. Speaking of that, though, it seems to me that if you're going to write a serial work, it would be more convenient if you would post them all in the same thread, so's people like me who come in later can view the preceding story easily.