View Full Version : Original Fiction: Phillip.

07-05-2006, 09:53 PM

My raggety dress brushed the winter ground like sandpaper against a rough, dry wall. The ground was softly covered with melting snow like icing on a cake. The snow was a rich white/silver colour (just like my eyes).

It was early morning in my busy town. I was going for a peacefull walk to the town square, trying to get my mind off the best of things. I came into the town square (where most of the shops were located) and as I walked past a shop, a book in the window caught my eye. It was leatherbound, a dark brown colour smoothing across the book front. A thought came to me. "Maybe I could use this for a journal, or a diary" I wispered as I stood outside the shop window leaning and looking at the priceless book.

I strange bell noise echoed through the shop as I came inside. Maybe the bell was broken. This was definately a book shop. On both sides of the small shop were shelves filled with books. Old books. I went to a shelf and strokes my fingers on the books, they were dusty. A man's voice came out of nowhere and said with suprise "erm... h-hello miss, would you l-like to buy a book?".
I turned without giving a sign of suprisement and looked into the man's eyes. He looked about my age. He had small round glasses, short brown hair covered with a smart, neat hat. I smiled sweetly, "Why yes, that book there." I said still smiling as I pointed to the book in the window. He glanced at the book then back to me and gave me a swift nod.
"That will be ten Pounds, miss." I grabbed ten pounds out of my purse and handed the money into his pale, shaking hand. He smiled at me and went to the counter. "Please come back again miss." He stuttered.
"Call me Elle" I said with no sense of rudeness.
"Elle.. I-I am Phillip" He replyed. I walked over to the door and held it half open. "Good Day, ... Phillip" I said as I walked out the shop with the book under my arm. " What a sweet boy.." I mummered to myself.

End of Part 1. part 2 comming soon. uh, im sorry if it makes no sense. It is set in the olden days.

07-06-2006, 12:52 AM
I got that it was old, perhaps when you start a story you should tell us what century it was in. Obviously it's around 1700 perhaps? In england?

Btw you should have used Surprisal instead of Surprisement. Surprisement is slang, it's a new thing. If you want to make it olden, you might want to use surprisal and olden terms, not newage slang.


07-06-2006, 12:58 AM
Thank you Princess Ai. I will keep that in mind next time. ^.^ especially to use the olden terms.