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Warrior5thelement
06-21-2006, 06:02 PM
Why you leave me?

Leave me in the dark

Dark all around me

Me here and now

Now i feel pain

Pain from my heart

Heart beats for you

You left me good-bye

good-bye to the pain and your excuses

excuses excuses you left me for her

her my bestfriend

bestfriends no more so get out of of my life

life no more with you

you and I are no more.
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This pome is for anyone who had a break up for feels that way sorry if this sounded werid.

Vendetta
06-21-2006, 06:05 PM
Bravo! A few things though, some sentances just don't sounds right. Ex: Her my best friend. Maybe just add a comma or something and it would have a better rythme. If you read it aloud some things sound kind of odd... Although, my poems always sounds bad XD.

Warrior5thelement
06-21-2006, 06:07 PM
thanks and sorry i know alot dont make sound right -_- I'am working on it tho