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Aleyna
06-14-2006, 12:17 PM
ok i was just experimenting with this poem, check out my other poem ECHO! ECHO! Rewind~*GLiCh~gLIcH~

A Remark's Situation

foolishness,
like getting brutally clubbed,
with a baseball bat,
right in the lower back,
the center of your spine,
like getting whipped,
about a bazillion times,
but your used to it,
so you let it manipulate,
to tire you out emotionally,
your eyes need to shut though,
you desprately need a nap,
a time to rejuvenate self esteem,
then to perkishly wake up,
rise and shine to another horrid!
but prepared and ready,
to out do foolish traps today,
with a triumphet losing streak,
but in remark's situations,
of winning acknowledging wisdom~

animeangellover
06-27-2006, 12:29 PM
that was a pretty poem good job!

Yukari
06-27-2006, 01:02 PM
Sad and wicked at the same time. Very well writen Another great poem

Aleyna
06-27-2006, 02:52 PM
thanx u guys

i wrote that poem a long time ago, but i really appreciate people finally commenting on it ^-^

Daimasukí
06-27-2006, 02:59 PM
Good job with the choice of words, but where did your flow go?

Aleyna
06-27-2006, 10:57 PM
well around the time era wen i was writing this poem i was experimenting and looking for other ways of being creative

basically i was trying new ways to write poems
this was just sort of wut i call a practice poem i wrote that i thought was cute, not my best i can sure say that but certainly a good practice

Daenerys
06-28-2006, 02:00 PM
Was this from the perspective of a baby seal?

Anime_Otaku
07-09-2006, 06:15 PM
that was a sad poem, but i think you did a good job it was very well written.

BlackLanternTL
07-09-2006, 06:22 PM
nice one