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Alias-Revolution
06-10-2006, 11:33 PM
**To our troops in Iraq and my uncle Travis who just came home.**

He is the keeper. Leader of the team.

Cleaned out the suburbs. He's a fighting machine.

Streight from the darkness. His fist reaches the sky.

No-one stopped him from coming back. Dont worry 'bout how or why!

He is the keeper. Leader of the team.

Cleaned out the suburbs. He's a fighting machine.

Great patriotic reasons, for his painful plight.

No matter what happens, he never gives up the fight!

He is the keeper. Leader of the team.

Cleaned out the suburbs. He's a fighting machine.

He is the keeper...

Aleyna
06-11-2006, 12:55 AM
i like the rhyming on this poem! it sounds like u could make it into a song! :p

Daenerys
06-11-2006, 01:09 AM
I really liked this. You spelt straight wrong though. =D

I liked the format a lot too. Double spacing. It really went good with a slight pause between each sentance.

Alias-Revolution
06-11-2006, 02:13 AM
Thanks, guys. I really thank you. I guess it was better than "The day I saw a Fart".

Cantelope
06-13-2006, 07:18 PM
Awesome rhythm, very catchy. The rhyming was a little weird at times, but without it, the poem just wouldn't have been cool.