View Full Version : Original Fiction: The Ice and The Dark

04-29-2006, 08:21 PM
The mods told me that my thread should be posted here so I transfered any way, post any comment after reading kay.:)

I made a story please read and give your comments

The Ice And The Dark
(Adapted, Shortened, and Revised)
By: mehttp://animeforum.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif

Chapter One: The Fated Day

In a time long ago, me and my parents moved to a town near the mountains. My name is Eliot Ravencroft. I have blue eyes and red hair as if it was blood. People always treated our family a spawn of evil because of our surname.

Well one day, I was exploring the new town of where we moved until I saw a park. As a child it was normal that I was thrilled to see such as a wonderful sight. The lush green trees, a great looking fountain, and a lot of beautiful flowers were abounding. Then I saw her, a beautiful girl about my age, blond hair, and green eyes. Well I only got a small glance of the fine looking girl. Then I looked at her as she was going home and I realized that it was getting late and should go home myself.

When I got home, I got scolded for coming home so late yet I just kept thinking about that girl I saw this afternoon. After supper I looked at the starry night sky form my bedroom window, pondering about that girl and her beauty. Well I had to go to sleep because it was going to be the first day of my new school.

Chapter Two: First Contact

I got up and early to go to school. I had breakfast with my parents and they wished me luck and to have a good day in school. At school, I was introduced to the class. I was surprised that I saw many kids in one room; I’ve never gone to a school this big. When we got settled down, there was a late student who was apparently new as well. To my shock, it was the girl I saw by the park. Her name was Freedert Purelight. At first I thought it was a funny name but it didn’t matter, her beauty was great to let me notice it.

I met my other classmates during the free time, then I met someone by the name Kael Schneider. He was quiet boy, brown hair and black eyes; nothing special really but there was something in him that was so befriending.

Well me Freedert seems like we can relate to each other so well, like we were meant for each other and she felt the same. It was always easy for us to talk to each other, our hopes dreams, troubles, and ambition. Soon Kael was also friends with us.

Chapter Three: Pain And Hope Through Time

Two years later, when I was 14 a tragedy happened to my life. My parents were killed right in front of my own eyes being accused of witchcraft and sorcery. The citizens of the town realized that they made a crucial mistake and discovered that my parents were clean of the dark arts. So the citizens of the town tried to compensate their error by letting me live and supporting me financially and spiritually.

Though I wasn’t showing it, I was feeling deep misery and depression. I even thought of committing suicide. The only thing that stopped me was Freedert and her caring, worried, and crying face when she yelled “stop!” I was going to jump of a high point before she stopped me. She shouted at me in a crying matter, “ You idiot, don’t throw your life away! If you think no one really cared for you now well you’re wrong! Because…. Because I care about you!” After seeing her face like that, I couldn’t proceed on what I was going to do. I was shocked that those words came out. It gave me a new hope and purpose for living. It was for her…

A Year has passed me an Freedert were courting and flirting with each other until that day came. When I was 15, we promised under a beautiful tree with flowers that we will never be apart. When we told Kael, he was happy for us but inside he was hurt and jealousy arose.

Chapter Four: Promises And Goodbyes In the Winter Season

Another two years has passed, I was 17 and it happened to be winter then. A war has engulfed our town and we were in a crossfire between the warring nations. I joined the fight to protect our town. On the day our forces were about to be dispatched to protect our town, Freedert gave me a sword that she said she forged herself and placed her prayers into it. She said that it would protect me from death during battle.

After this we said our goodbyes and I promised her that I will come back safe to her arms. Before leaving I asked Kael to protect her while I was gone and he did.

Chapter Five: Darkness Has Spawned

It so happened while I was away that Freedert was praying for my safety. Upon seeing this, Kael got desperate and tried to make Freedert his. Freedert upon hearing his confession rejected Kael and said that I was the only person that she will ever love. When hearing this he has gone to a place shrouded with darkness and was forbidden to journey to, and made a wish on a cursed crystal like structure that was referred to as the second hand of time. He wished that I would die in battle so that Freedert would have to love him instead. The second hand of time has granted Kael’s wish and suddenly out of nowhere an ominous spear that contained magic stabbed me at the back. The spear was called the first hand of time. Upon seeing this, my comrades sent a message to Freedert that I was killed in battle. Freedert was shaken in sorrow and prayed to the gods.

Chapter Six: A Crucial Sacrifice

Freedert was praying to the gods that she will give the time she has left to me. The gods first asked her if she was sure on what she was asking. Freedert didn’t have any second thoughts and replied to the gods that she was sure. With that the gods granted her wish, she died but I was brought back to life. When this happened Kael saw Freedert lying lifeless on the ground. When seeing this Kael was struck with guilt and ran away and to be never heard from since. When I got back, I first came to the chapel where Freedert was praying just to discover her ea on the floor. This was the most traumatic thing that I ever experienced, so I prayed to the gods that Freedert and me would always be together. Upon hearing my plea a light glowed from the sword that Freedert gave to me. The gods said that the sword is now called the link of the hands of time; they said that if he would stab myself with that sword our souls would never be apart. So I did what the gods have said to me, my soul and Freedert’s souls were able to meet and somehow the first and second hands of time was united by the sword that Freedert gave me so it will never cause this kind of tragedy ever again.

04-29-2006, 08:26 PM
Man I didnt read that but it looks to long so Im lazy lol

05-01-2006, 08:36 AM
^^...thats cute well done...^^

05-01-2006, 10:39 PM
"Not bad soilder, not bad at all...But are you ready to take the next step!?!" <-- Halo Trial :P I liked it. Well done.

05-01-2006, 11:55 PM
Please read the rules.