View Full Version : My heart is like a birdcage and soft like sand
onigiri princess
03-21-2006, 10:14 AM
My true colors is what I seek
My dynasty is so to speak
My personality is always meek
Yet my true liability is most unique
The true words of the a scullery maid
Is far more grater than green gem jade
So many vows is ought to be made
I’m just afraid, that it will fade
Many days pass and through
Nothing in my life is ever true
Many unkind whispers come from you
Let me just say, I don’t care too
People say it’s your way of life
I don’t want to fall in love; it’s too much to thrive
It just buzzes in your head like a devoted bee hive
So many voices, falls on your ear like a knife
How could I pass a test without knowing?
Your heart is edgier and growing
Mine is just quietly flowing
Who will understand, what is showing
Angry words come undone
Words from you, from everyone
No one will hear I’m the only one
Who will hear me out off the darkness and into the sun?
As my soul will scarcely land
I felt some one touch my hand
It was you, you said you understand
That my heart is like a birdcage and soft like sand
animeangellover
06-27-2006, 05:30 PM
what a beautiful poem
Aleyna
06-27-2006, 11:36 PM
you have a very quirky and unique flow to your poetry thats different from the rest
i like this poem and the title is very interesting
giving u reps for this 1, hope to see more from u! :D
lex__luthor
06-28-2006, 12:40 AM
really good really good i liked it u should post more can u pm me some i really like ur writing u should get it published well the rhyming patterns are perfect i love them u put the words in perfect order u should most definatly write more hope to see them cant wait thanks
Daenerys
06-29-2006, 03:58 PM
All those rhymes seemed terribly terribly forced. It doesn't really make sense, the way you tried to rhyme them. You don't have to make every line rhyme you know. Every other line could rhyme.
onigiri princess
08-13-2006, 03:14 PM
T-T u all r so nice thank you, its been a while since somebody read it, so thank you very much and i will make more, thank you all very much (sniff) oh and i will try to make some that doesnt ryhme too (thank you lex_luthor for suggesting it for me).
thankies
Princess Cupcake
08-13-2006, 03:22 PM
Your vocabulary was obviously put to work on this poem. The ryhmes were, as Brody said, forced. As it looks. This poem is good despite that. I like it even though some of the lines lack meaning. That's what I'm thinking. Still, I can tell you worked hard. My opinion doesn't matter as long as you, the author believes that it's a great peice. Lovely poem, well done, princess of riceballs. xD
~Mithrosent~
08-20-2006, 05:40 PM
thats great heres one of mine :)
how do we love?
i walk on the sand,
on this place called home land,
i guess you could call me the princess brand,
as i walk on the sea sand,
i think of love,
i feel like a caged dove.
i see you and smile,
as we kiss for a while,
as we walk the love mile,
to our hearts greatest desire,
to find our souls fire.
do we need a spark?
do we need to hit a mark?
how do we love?
how do we hold eachother?
"find your soul and look deep,
and let your love seep
into your soul and into your heart.."
DarkMoonPrince
08-20-2006, 05:44 PM
This poem is an awsome poem. . . i hope to see more from you
Ichiro Matsuchani
08-20-2006, 05:58 PM
I shall reiterate. As others have said above, it seems like the rhymes are forced. And it doesn't seem that this poem is really meant for something.
I won't say more, cause I can't do any better.
lady_tay
08-20-2006, 06:30 PM
what a great poem, i like it alot, good job
onigiri princess
08-23-2006, 03:03 PM
I told you I’d make a poem without rhyming, but anyways please have a read and if there’s something wrong with it, tell me anyway (but kindly) thanks.
Never again
Never again will I trust you
Never again will I follow you
Never again will there be solitude of happiness
But never again will there be you in my life
Never again pain will be dispersed in the air I breathe in
Never again will words despite me in anger
Never again will you try to rage me
But never ever again, will there be sorrow in my tears
Will there be ever again be tears that I cry, to hide the pain that crawls in my spine
Will ever again be fellowships I share to call when I reach out for mercy?
Will ever again you will come when my words are out spoken?
But I still wonder, will ever again there be no sorrow unreachable to hate, to hide away in an empty tunnel,
As the light reaches my call…But forever again, will there be words that hide away my fears to help me as time keeps on going.
onigiri princess
08-27-2006, 04:06 PM
Another poem i worked on for a long while, it's sort of like a version of the poems i made before, with a few lines in it thats sort of the same and no its not a replica of never again also it has rhyme in it, so please dont point out about me ryhming becuase i just like ryhiming in poems okay,i guess "non ryhming" poems isnt my style, but enjoy it anyway (in rhyme).
~Never ever~
Will nobody show me to the light from the sun?
I may not know they’re names, but I’m willing to meet anyone
And if you don’t like it, I’m sorry to say
That you don’t live your life, to the most everyday
Because there is a point of trying
and if you don’t do it now then you’re dying
Don’t hide, don’t cry, and don’t be shy
Never ever ask yourself why
I’m never ever gonna try again
When there’s still a long life line in your palm my friend
Don’t ever ever need to be afraid
When you come out of the shadows from your darker shades
And when ever ever you need a friend
Just call me, and I’ll be there till the end
Where ever there’s a murky time, you can
call me all over and over again
Because I know what it was like to be
When you never ever felt like you where ever free
Well in my opinion take the ride, fly like a bird
Or shout out aloud so you’d be heard
I never want to feel that way again
Don’t ever feel that way my friend
Because feeling like you’re never liked and hated
Makes your life and mine so frustrated
Don’t ever make it so complicated
Because I never ever can take it
Never ever am I gonna take it, all right
Because I cant take your sad calls in about every night
Never ever gonna disguise with you just to fake it
Because if ever like that you and I won’t make it
But where ever you are and you hear this
Don’t take no trip and get yourself dismissed
hybridInuyasha
08-27-2006, 04:17 PM
i see great potential in u...keep trying...u will be great at it one day ^^
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