Your take on "friends with benefits"?

[Capernicus]

I've been thinking more and more about what it means to be a friend with benefits/privalleges. I can't say whether or not I think they're morally acceptable, or whether or not they are advisable. But I do think that, if you decide to enter into this kind of relationship, you should do so with caution. I must admit, I currently am a friend with benefits to someone I love very much. I wish we could be much more than that, but I've backed off on the subject. It only seems to cause more problems.


So, what do you all think of having/being a friend with benefits?

[Demonic Light]

I think it is a cool way to have a relationship... Get laid and not have to be there BF

[zodiak]

ah, it's stupid. It's an excuse for not admitting that you are his girlfriend. Friends with benifits, yeah just an excuse to say hey were not gf and bf were friends that just have random sex that means something, wake up you bf and gf.

[Shinjimae]

I'm Agnostic and I still think it is wrong. To me the only thing that matters is if the love is Genuine, a reluctancy to marry is either fear of the unknown, a lack of commitment, or there is just no love involved just the "benefit". Marriage is not necessary but commitment and love are. If there is no love then I would just assume call the woman a ***** and the guy a poor excuse for a man. Love is all that matters everything else is extra.

[Katrina_Survivor2]

I think that if you have real feelings for the person then it can be emotionally soothing at first, but in the long run it is probably a bad idea. I think a real relationship is the better alternative.

I will edit in more later, but I don't have a huge amount to say on the subject.

[Fabala]

Personally, I could never never do it. I'm a possessive creature, and I'd want to feel sure that the person I was with was really mine. Which they wouldn't be, in such a relationship.

Frankly, I haven't heard of a single case where it has actually worked. They always go in with good intentions, but eventually one wants more, and the other is or isn't ready to give it to them. Such is life.

[Icen Heat]

Personally, I could never never do it. I'm a possessive creature, and I'd want to feel sure that the person I was with was really mine. Which they wouldn't be, in such a relationship.

Frankly, I haven't heard of a single case where it has actually worked. They always go in with good intentions, but eventually one wants more, and the other is or isn't ready to give it to them. Such is life.
Reiako is quite correct, I believe. I tried it once, but the friend and I ended up going out because it was just so hard not to, I guess. Things were good for awhile, but that's a different story.

It really just depends on what type of person you are, I think. If you're the type for commitment, "Friends with Benefits" isn't something you'd want. If you just want a booty-call or whatever, then yea, you'd love the idea.

I'm in the same category as Reiako. I'm possessive. I don't like it when I don't have "claims" on whoever it is that I'm playing around with. It feels so empty that way.

[x]Icen|Heat[x]

[Ωmega]

Personally, I could never never do it. I'm a possessive creature, and I'd want to feel sure that the person I was with was really mine. Which they wouldn't be, in such a relationship.same here...I couldnt be with someone whithout having some sort of attachment to them...but then again, I dont think I could bring myself to sleep with someone without having a solid relationship with them (a solid romantic relationship...)

[MistressPookyChan]

I think it has some good aspects to it. However, you must not be that emotionally involved in it. If one person is, then it just won't work. I think of it as getting to know a person without the comittment.

I must admit though, that is how my current relationship started. Now, we have been a couple for 8 months. So, friends with benefits could be the begining of a relationship.

[neo_wolfwood_187]

I Have Had A Lot Of Them. Liked Them A Lot, And I Will Keep Having Them.

[Dark_Evo_ChaosX]

I'm Roman catholic, a strong believer of my faith, so by default I'm gonna say it's wrong.
It's just morally wrong. In the end, your basically abusing your friend.

[nega_knives]

benifits is the only thing that most people care about know days yes I have friends with benifits and alot with none but I have no regret.

[galdon]

i dont get it. either become bf/gf or leave eachother alone, ya dont need a bf/gf and a 'friend with benifits'

[Nullpunkt]

I barely know about relationships, period, anymore... I definitely don't know what to think about friends with benefits. I, for one, am starting to think it's all just a bad idea... friends with benefits, and romantic relationships in general. -_-

Zero

[Capernicus]

Personally, I could never never do it. I'm a possessive creature, and I'd want to feel sure that the person I was with was really mine. Which they wouldn't be, in such a relationship.
I'm that way too Rei. I get very jealous over the smallest things. I hide it well, but on the inside I'm screaming, "MINE! She's mine!" I don't normally do the whole friends with benefits thing, but for her.....I'll do anything.

[Fabala]

May very well lead to heartache, but good luck all the same.

[Mugetsu]

LOL. It sounds like a good idea at first, but it doesn't work. Eventually emotions will start to appear from one person that the other was not expecting or ready for. Then the problems will start. And even if you try going back to being just friends, something will always be "different".

[pyrothunder336]

I think its all well and good but you really do need to be cautious. You have to make sure you don't start to get jealous when they get a boyfriend/girlfriend and you have to make sure when you get one that neither one of them get jealous. If you can manage that then it is great and is a wonderful thing to have if your that lucky.

[Tsuna Kadiri]

Ahh, I watched something about this on MTV once. ;P

I don't think it's that great of an idea. Both people go into it with good intentions, but in the end, one ends up wanting more of a connection with the other. It ends up throwing things out of balance, kind of like an emotional scale. One side gets heavier than the other over time.

Imagine if the friend you did have benefits with, you ended up getting really attached to. How would it make you feel if the other person in the relationship told you they had no feelings for you at all over that entire time you were together. Would be a pretty strange situation.

[The Wing Man]

I think it is wrong to have any sex before marrige, but if someone wanted to have benefits with there friend like this.I just don't know if it could work out, i imagine it just ends up becoming weird or something.

[Marie2007]

I think it is a great type of relationship because you know that if the bf/gf relationship works you will always have someone there to have your back.

[Fabala]

Eh, I think there's a pretty big difference between two friends moving their relationship into a romantic one, and two friends becoming "friends with benefits." Or even the friends with benefits moving into a romantic relationship.

[Sephy]

I've been screwed over so many times in relationships, that all I want are friends with benefits and one night stands.

I used to be all like "Oh, I only want to do it with the person I love" blah blah blah, but after being too nice and loving to people and then getting royally screwed, I just don't care anymore.

[Shinjimae]

I used to be all like "Oh, I only want to do it with the person I love" blah blah blah, but after being too nice and loving to people and then getting royally screwed, I just don't care anymore.
Thats a shame, it sounds like you were to hasty.

[Krsnik]

It entirely depends on your take on the situation. We're human, and it's our innate drive to want to reproduce. Friends with benefits simply means you're not cold the next morning, and will call eachother BACK to do something other than sleep with eachother. It's complete morality in the subject, and differs extremely with each person you ask. There is no ultimate right nor wrong when regarding this subject, it's based on YOUR morality. To me, I don't really care.

[Capernicus]

Eh, I think there's a pretty big difference between two friends moving their relationship into a romantic one, and two friends becoming "friends with benefits." Or even the friends with benefits moving into a romantic relationship.Well of course there is. But I like tho think that our friends with benefits relationship has become something more....I really care about this person...

[Shinjimae]

Agreed, though I'm not christian I am greatly opposed to it, thats how I was raised, my Values.

[Sephy]

Thats a shame, it sounds like you were to hasty. What's that supposed to mean?

[Shinjimae]

It sounded to me like you gave in too quickly, you gave yourself to someone you thought loved you, when you should have given it time.. That way you could have seen that persons true intentions.. And I hope you don't mind me asking but are you a boy or a girl?

[Sephy]

It sounded to me like you gave in too quickly, you gave yourself to someone you thought loved you, when you should have given it time.. That way you could have seen that persons true intentions.. And I hope you don't mind me asking but are you a boy or a girl? I'm a guy, which shouldn't have anything to do with it.

And no I didn't give myself in too quickly to someone I thought I loved. I can give you a quick rundown of what happened if you would like.

I am not trying to sound mean or anything, I just went through a lot and having someone assume things about me doesn't make me feel any better.

And I know you are just guessing at this, so no hard feelings

[Shinjimae]

I'm a guy, which shouldn't have anything to do with it.

And no I didn't give myself in too quickly to someone I thought I loved. I can give you a quick rundown of what happened if you would like.

I am not trying to sound mean or anything, I just went through a lot and having someone assume things about me doesn't make me feel any better.

And I know you are just guessing at this, so no hard feelingsGood, and my bad as well. I asked what gender you were because there are some things I would say to guys, that I would never say to girls.

[Sephy]

Good, and my bad as well. I asked what gender you were because there are some things I would say to guys, that I would never say to girls. Hey, it's all good :)

We all move on and better things happen. I am just not looking for anything serious for a little while. I'm only 19 anyway so I don't need something very serious anyhow.

EDIT: Sorry for any thread-jacking.

[Gate_Guardian]

I think the person who said lets be friends with "benifits?" is just after sex, and not FRIENDSHIP!

[Capernicus]

Hey, it's all good :)

We all move on and better things happen. I am just not looking for anything serious for a little while. I'm only 19 anyway so I don't need something very serious anyhow.

EDIT: Sorry for any thread-jacking.
Well, I'm glad you at least realize that that is what you were doing. *glares* If this thread gets closed for it, I'll be VERY upset.

On a related subject, the heartache itself is not what I was asking about, there's bound to be that part. I was asking about the morality. Most (if not all) religions don't approve of it. I myself have lost my faith recently...

[Shinjimae]

On a related subject, the heartache itself is not what I was asking about, there's bound to be that part. I was asking about the morality. Most (if not all) religions don't approve of it. I myself have lost my faith recently...
Thats why I'm agnostic, you get to believe in God and Jesus and all that jazz, but at the same time I completely resent him for everything in this messed up world. I Believe in God, I just don't care about him. I'm not pro satan either... I think they both suck.

But if you want to be technical about it, yes every chrisitan denomination finds it to be unethical and immoral. "Living in Sin" I personally don't approve cause of my morals, I can be a moral person with or without God in my life.

[Faceless111]

Thats why I'm agnostic, you get to believe in God and Jesus and all that jazz, but at the same time I completely resent him for everything in this messed up world. I Believe in God, I just don't care about him. I'm not pro satan either... I think they both suck.

But if you want to be technical about it, yes every chrisitan denomination finds it to be unethical and immoral. "Living in Sin" I personally don't approve cause of my morals, I can be a moral person with or without God in my life.
Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Hold the phone. Did you just say you're agnostic and believe in God? I must've not gotten that memo. You know, that memo telling everyone that the meaning of the word "agnostic" has changed. The last time I check agnostic meant
a.One who believes that it is impossible to know whether there is a God. b.One who is skeptical about the existence of God but does not profess true atheism.
But, again, I must've missed that memo.

[MistressPookyChan]

I've been screwed over so many times in relationships, that all I want are friends with benefits and one night stands.

I used to be all like "Oh, I only want to do it with the person I love" blah blah blah, but after being too nice and loving to people and then getting royally screwed, I just don't care anymore.

I feel ya there. I've learned to just have (safe!) fun and enjoy life. There will be lots of people that come into your life that you think are "the one".

[Ami~chan]

I personally don't agree with the "friends with benefits" idea. It doesn't bother me if other people get into those sort of relationships, but I could never do it myself. I could only kiss/other romantic interactions with people I like in a romantic way. Also, I know that I'll get hurt, more than likely, because I might start to develop certain feelings for that friend. And it would be my luck, that they just want to be friends.

[En Svensk Tiger]

It seems to work kinda like communism. Great idea, but in the long run, it'll end in drama.

[Capernicus]

It seems to work kinda like communism. Great idea, but in the long run, it'll end in drama.Uhhhh, can you elaborate a bit? They seem completely different to me. Communism is an economic system, and friends with benefits is a life style/relationship.

[galdon]

Uhhhh, can you elaborate a bit? They seem completely different to me. Communism is an economic system, and friends with benefits is a life style/relationship.
i believe he means they both end the same way. in a big fight.

[Capernicus]

i believe he means they both end the same way. in a big fight.Well he should have said so in the first place. That's a bit of a stretch to compare, it needs to be justified. You can't just assert something and leave it open-ended. XP

[Shinjimae]

Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Hold the phone. Did you just say you're agnostic and believe in God? I must've not gotten that memo. You know, that memo telling everyone that the meaning of the word "agnostic" has changed. The last time I check agnostic meant

But, again, I must've missed that memo.



Definition B- One who is skeptical about the existence of God but does not profess true atheism.



I suppose you know what Atheism means don't you? Just in Case



Atheism-

a. Disbelief in or denial of the existence of God or gods.

b. The doctrine that there is no God or gods. -Dictionary.com


I am not an atheist I’m not really skeptical as to whether or not there is a God. I believe God does exist, Agnostic is simply the only religion I know that at least has some of the beliefs I do. And furthermore agnosticism is a sub-division of all religions not just Christianity. I believe that Satanists are agnostics aren't they? They believe in the Devil and God but worship the devil instead of God. So to re-cap I am agnostic, I believe in god, I do not worship Satan, I am sort of Neutral no? I am not pure agnostic but I know not of a denomination of agnosticism that shares a more precise theology to my beliefs.

[Prophet of Death]

Atheism-

a. Disbelief in or denial of the existence of God or gods.

b. The doctrine that there is no God or gods. -Dictionary.com
I guess im atheiest then

[DragonNight]

I actually dont like the idea of 'friends with benefits'. Ive had a friend who just takes on friends with benefits, and in the end he just wants more, but his friend doesnt.
i guess it could be sort of like a break from just having a real relationship, just to be fooling around and such, but i can never bring myself to be a friend with benefits

[Secret Asian Man]

Friends with benefits is the Holy Grail for guys- Gettin' the goods without the hassle. No going to Chick Flicks that last 3 hours, no spending obscene amounts of money on gifts and eating out, none of that! Just "Hi", "How are ya ", and "Lets get to it". All good things do not last though, but you can at least ride it out to the very end :]

[Shinjimae]

Yeah.. ride it out.. pick up a few viruses.. regret it for the rest of your life.. Sounds good to me.

[Bean Bandit]

How about we stop all the off topic stuff on religion and etc before the thread gets clsoed.


Friends with benefits is not getting the goods for free and not having to spend money and etc.. Nor is it a open inviation for diseases.

It has just as much trust into it as a bf/gf relationship. You still care about the other one a great deal. It will never work if you cant trust each other. If you cant rely on each other. It takes a lot of maturity and respect to be able to have one. The friendship level and values are higher and on a different level than bf/gf. Boyfriends or girlfriends come and go in your life. But a good friend stays with you no matter what.

[Darth Tyranus]

If all partners are happy then I see no problem. But if it causes fights you're better off stearing clear of that puppy. I see nothing wrong with the morality of it, since morals change from person to person. If it's harmless than there isn't much of a hang up is there.

[Sephy]

Well, I'm glad you at least realize that that is what you were doing. *glares* If this thread gets closed for it, I'll be VERY upset.
You'll get over it.

Also, religion has nothing to do with this, I don't know why it was even brought up.

[Shinjimae]

How about we stop all the off topic stuff on religion and etc before the thread gets clsoed.
How is it off topic? In order to state my train of thought on this matter I have to let people see "where my heads at". It is part of my reasoning behind my stance on this topic. And it's not like we can have a debate on religions, it would be locked as soon as a mod saw it.. You are gonna have to meet half way yo, either allow a Religion thread or face that you are gonna have lengthy post's that teeter on the line of spam.. From me anyway.. ha don't ban me :wacko:

[Faceless111]

Definition B- One who is skeptical about the existence of God but does not profess true atheism.



I suppose you know what Atheism means don't you? Just in Case



Atheism-

a. Disbelief in or denial of the existence of God or gods.

b. The doctrine that there is no God or gods. -Dictionary.com


I am not an atheist I’m not really skeptical as to whether or not there is a God. I believe God does exist, Agnostic is simply the only religion I know that at least has some of the beliefs I do. And furthermore agnosticism is a sub-division of all religions not just Christianity. I believe that Satanists are agnostics aren't they? They believe in the Devil and God but worship the devil instead of God. So to re-cap I am agnostic, I believe in god, I do not worship Satan, I am sort of Neutral no? I am not pure agnostic but I know not of a denomination of agnosticism that shares a more precise theology to my beliefs.
Sorry. Wrong. According to what you just said, you'd have to be skeptical about the existance of God in order to be agnostic. You're not skeptical, you said yourself that you believe in God. And Satanists have a religion, they're not agnostic. Just because they worhsip the devil instead of god, doesn't make them agnostic. Anyone with any sort of religion is not agnostic.

I'm like you, believe in God, but really couldn't care less. Yet, I'm not exactly agnostic. But, I suppose there's no changing your mind about your "agnosticism".

[Shinjimae]

I am not pure agnostic but I know not of a denomination of agnosticism that shares a more precise theology to my beliefs.You don't know what a denomination is do you? I'm going to use Chrisitanity as an example, Baptist, Methodist, Episcopalian, they are all denominations of the main church Roman Catholic. The only difference between the churches is their doctrine or "Theology", they all vary a little or a lot in their beliefs but they are all roughly the same thing. Do you understand now? So in this case it would be Satanism under Agnosticism, I do not know of a religion that believes the things that I do, so I imagine that if their is/was one that it would be under agnosticism, it could be in it's own category but I don't know. Ok?

Please do not close this topic because of me, that is all I will say on this matter.. sorry for "Thread Jacking".

[Capernicus]

You don't know what a denomination is do you? I'm going to use Chrisitanity as an example, Baptist, Methodist, Episcopalian, they are all denominations of the main church Roman Catholic. The only difference between the churches is their doctrine or "Theology", they all vary a little or a lot in their beliefs but they are all roughly the same thing. Do you understand now? So in this case it would be Satanism under Agnosticism, I do not know of a religion that believes the things that I do, so I imagine that if their is/was one that it would be under agnosticism, it could be in it's own category but I don't know. Ok?

Please do not close this topic because of me, that is all I will say on this matter.. sorry for "Thread Jacking".Nope, sorry, too late, I no longer want this thread open. I don't need to hear about agnosticism or satanism, or any other religion. It would have been fine to have stated your religion, but not debate what exactly that entails. Your beliefs would have been just fine. If you had really wanted to argue the point, take it to PMs. Bean Bandit, please close this thread for spam, off topic, and all around stupidity. Maybe I'll repost it when our members mature a bit.

[Kewii]

Closed.