PDA

View Full Version : poem:YOU!



Vendetta
02-01-2006, 09:11 PM
I no Longer know you,
the you i once knew,
the you that i fell for,
the you that made me want to sour.
the you that was kind,
the you that blew my mind,
the you that loved every inch of my body,
the you that always acted so "naughty,"
the you that made me laught when he was near,
the you thatttaught me never to fear,
the you that never doubted me,
the you that let us just be,
the you that i may never see again,
the you that only existed then,
the you that i once loved,

now you are a total stranger,
who brings much danger,

unlike the YOU i once knew!!



thanx for reading this! please read my other poems!

6th poem...ever:p

Daenerys
04-24-2006, 12:49 AM
Using red and black together is irritating, especially on a DARK BLUE background. That made the poem almost impossible to read.

The spelling errors and the forced rhymes were also hard to read, and btw, I deleted all the spammy replies in this thread.

Sakura Holic
04-24-2006, 01:07 AM
There are too much "you"'s But the poem is worth it. Keep up the good work.

B_F_F
04-24-2006, 03:02 AM
The poem is nice, but I kindda bit hate hearing lot's of 'you's when I read it.