Lon
10-04-2005, 05:11 PM
Q) How many Anime Forum subscribers does it take to change a light bulb?
A) Answer-1,666
1 person to notice that the hard drive light is burned out on Jack's computer.
13 people to make generalizations about how changing society would mean that in the future, problems like the burned-out bulbs wouldn't exist.
1 person to re-open the debate about how light bulbs are made from animal materials and thus are unanarchistic. This person also would say that guns should be banned because they can be used to shoot small cuddly animals.
1 former small-town politician to regale the list on his hunting experiences and how guns and light bulbs are good things.
1 son of a CIA-agent to say that greenhouse warming doesn't exist and that the burned-out bulb has no environmental effect. He will cite an article from a LaRouchite paper he found in his college's student cafeteria. This person then sends 145 messages with press accounts about lightbulbs in police cars that he may have destroyed.
1 person to send out flame bait about the light bulb issue.
130 people who respond to the flame bait and quote previous messages in their entirety, with only a one line addition appended. These posts will all include sig lines longer than the responses.
6 people to propose that a FAQ on the Proper Anarchist Way to Change Light Bulbs be written.
560 people to send requests on how to find "The Lightbulb Cookbook."
670 to send unsubscribe messages saying that the traffic about lightbulbs is too much.
45 drunken students to post weird ramblings with no relation to any of the threads.
1 rosaphilia to post 65 KB forwarded messages about conspiracy theories and light bulbs.
19 spammers to send messages about products entirely unrelated to lightbulbs, anarchy, guns, or police cars.
3 A-infos posts to inform the world on the lightbulb debate.
16 folks who send messages quoting great anarchist lightbulb thinkers out of context.
18 immature boys to make accusations that other list members do weird sexual things with lightbulbs.
2 people to send out emails about punk benefit shows in Ohio that will raise money for the new light bulb.
1 wise guy/gal to start a flame thread if organizing around the lightbulb situation is an example of "lifestylism."
356 to post follow-up to the lifestylism debate, asserting that the lightbulb is important to revolutionary politics.
20 newbies to crosspost the entire thread to 15 other lists, including 6 secret, members-only ones, and 45 newsgroups including alt.talk.lightbulb, alt.revolution.change.lightbulb, alt.politics.chomsky, alt.worship.trotsky, soc.guns.fuzzy, alt.conspiracy.westinghouse, and alt.libertarian.scientology.
1 person to ponder the origins of the black lightbulb and its various meanings through history.
65 anarchos to discuss how they were first introduced to the anarchist way of lightbulb changin'.
4 frustrated anarchists to urge that we get anarchists "organized" on this issue.
89 people to discuss whether or not anarchists should change the lightbulb like they do at McDonalds.
222 well-read anti-authoritarians to suggest book titles for further reading on this important topic.
3 anarchist librarians to make sure that all the debate about the lighbulb situation is archived and properly indexed, so that future scholars can look back and ponder what all the commotion was about.
1 list-maintainer to go out to the electronics store to buy a new bulb.
and of course:
3 luddite neo-primitivists to fashion a raft out of junk, float across the Atlantic, locate Jack's computer, and smash the new bulb to pieces.
Note: If youve made it this far it's only fair to inform you that the numbers don't add up to the answer given above because math is relative. Those who maintain that mathematics gives exact answers are pretentious, elitist academic wankers
Q) How many Mormons does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A) 4. 1 to screw the bulb in, 3 to make green jello.
Q: How many Reformed Jews does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: As many as you think is right
Q: How many Conservative Jews does it take to chage a lightbulb?
A: Well, we'll set up a commitee to figure that out
Q: How many Orthodox Jews does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Change?
Q) How many Bible-Thumping Fundies/ screw in a light bulb?
A) Just one; there's "no other way."
Q) How many Gnostics/ get the lightbulb in?
A) Can't tell; the lights are off.
Q) How many Pentecostals are willing to change
a light bulb?
A) None; they walk by faith, and not by sight.
Q) How many physchiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
A) None-it must be willing to change itself.
.....anyone got any others?
A) Answer-1,666
1 person to notice that the hard drive light is burned out on Jack's computer.
13 people to make generalizations about how changing society would mean that in the future, problems like the burned-out bulbs wouldn't exist.
1 person to re-open the debate about how light bulbs are made from animal materials and thus are unanarchistic. This person also would say that guns should be banned because they can be used to shoot small cuddly animals.
1 former small-town politician to regale the list on his hunting experiences and how guns and light bulbs are good things.
1 son of a CIA-agent to say that greenhouse warming doesn't exist and that the burned-out bulb has no environmental effect. He will cite an article from a LaRouchite paper he found in his college's student cafeteria. This person then sends 145 messages with press accounts about lightbulbs in police cars that he may have destroyed.
1 person to send out flame bait about the light bulb issue.
130 people who respond to the flame bait and quote previous messages in their entirety, with only a one line addition appended. These posts will all include sig lines longer than the responses.
6 people to propose that a FAQ on the Proper Anarchist Way to Change Light Bulbs be written.
560 people to send requests on how to find "The Lightbulb Cookbook."
670 to send unsubscribe messages saying that the traffic about lightbulbs is too much.
45 drunken students to post weird ramblings with no relation to any of the threads.
1 rosaphilia to post 65 KB forwarded messages about conspiracy theories and light bulbs.
19 spammers to send messages about products entirely unrelated to lightbulbs, anarchy, guns, or police cars.
3 A-infos posts to inform the world on the lightbulb debate.
16 folks who send messages quoting great anarchist lightbulb thinkers out of context.
18 immature boys to make accusations that other list members do weird sexual things with lightbulbs.
2 people to send out emails about punk benefit shows in Ohio that will raise money for the new light bulb.
1 wise guy/gal to start a flame thread if organizing around the lightbulb situation is an example of "lifestylism."
356 to post follow-up to the lifestylism debate, asserting that the lightbulb is important to revolutionary politics.
20 newbies to crosspost the entire thread to 15 other lists, including 6 secret, members-only ones, and 45 newsgroups including alt.talk.lightbulb, alt.revolution.change.lightbulb, alt.politics.chomsky, alt.worship.trotsky, soc.guns.fuzzy, alt.conspiracy.westinghouse, and alt.libertarian.scientology.
1 person to ponder the origins of the black lightbulb and its various meanings through history.
65 anarchos to discuss how they were first introduced to the anarchist way of lightbulb changin'.
4 frustrated anarchists to urge that we get anarchists "organized" on this issue.
89 people to discuss whether or not anarchists should change the lightbulb like they do at McDonalds.
222 well-read anti-authoritarians to suggest book titles for further reading on this important topic.
3 anarchist librarians to make sure that all the debate about the lighbulb situation is archived and properly indexed, so that future scholars can look back and ponder what all the commotion was about.
1 list-maintainer to go out to the electronics store to buy a new bulb.
and of course:
3 luddite neo-primitivists to fashion a raft out of junk, float across the Atlantic, locate Jack's computer, and smash the new bulb to pieces.
Note: If youve made it this far it's only fair to inform you that the numbers don't add up to the answer given above because math is relative. Those who maintain that mathematics gives exact answers are pretentious, elitist academic wankers
Q) How many Mormons does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A) 4. 1 to screw the bulb in, 3 to make green jello.
Q: How many Reformed Jews does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: As many as you think is right
Q: How many Conservative Jews does it take to chage a lightbulb?
A: Well, we'll set up a commitee to figure that out
Q: How many Orthodox Jews does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Change?
Q) How many Bible-Thumping Fundies/ screw in a light bulb?
A) Just one; there's "no other way."
Q) How many Gnostics/ get the lightbulb in?
A) Can't tell; the lights are off.
Q) How many Pentecostals are willing to change
a light bulb?
A) None; they walk by faith, and not by sight.
Q) How many physchiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
A) None-it must be willing to change itself.
.....anyone got any others?