Child Spanking

[Ollie]

[created to stop crapping up the Terri Schaivo thread]

for or against it, and why?

Personally, I don't see anything wrong with it. So your hit your kids. Big deal. Pain may be the only way to teach anyone anything. If a dog chews on your furniture, smack it a couple times and chances are, it won't do it again. It can work on all other animals, so of course it works on humans.

Some people may say, though, "the ends don't justify the means." Yeah, well, they do in this case :3 My parents hit me around a bit when I was a kid, but not to the point where it was abusive [as in, I broke something on accident and had a few broken ribs that night e_e THAT is abuse].

It's a normal, healthy punishment, and I don't have anything against my parents for it. A lot of people go through it. It's normal, and people have always done it. I turned out okay, I think.

Besides, do I still draw on the sheets? Nope. =D

[Sword]

I have nothing against it.....to a certain extent. As long as it isn't the same as what people did years ago ie, caning. A simple, non-damaging slap would do. Anything beyond that is going too far.

[retro]

You should be allowed to slap around your kid as much as you want as long as it justified.

They should bring back the cane at schools.

[Ollie]

yeah, I think a teacher caning a student is...a bit too far. It should be the parents who deliver that kind of punishment.

[Kewii]

Well its been said that positive reinforcement is better for children--in the long run. Something to do with motivation to do a good job.

Its something I plan to try with my students and kids because the problem with presentation punishments--like spanking--is that the kids get attention for it, which can sometimes encourage kids to act out.

[En Svensk Tiger]

Besides, do I still draw on the sheets? Nope. =D But is that because you choose not to do it because you know better, or out of fear of being beaten? -.-

Seriously, this is a sensitive subject, but here's my thoughts.

The line between just mildly punishing your child and abusing it is thin, if not existing, as we all define what's violence and what's a nice way of teaching right and wrong different. Sure, my dad grabbed me a bit roughly out of anger when I did stupid stuff when I was a kid, but he never physically hit me, or punished me in any physical way. Neither did my mother.
I don't think raising children the way you raise a dog is the best way to go. Sure, hit your kid enough when he does things you don't like, and he/she'll probably stop doing it, but the real question is why they would stop. The kid won't stop doing wrong stuff out of his own reason and logical thinking of what is right and wrong, he won't do it out of fear. Fear and memory of pain and violence. Without knowing too much about dog psychology, I would have to argue that the human psychology is different. Way different.

"Sure, I hit my children, my parents hit me, and it didn't do me no harm."

^ that's a classic, but it still has a point between all the clichés. I don't think teaching a kid what not to do by hitting it when it does something wrong will do any good. I'd rather reward it when the kid does something right, and tell it what not to do. I'm not saying you can't dicipline your kids or anything, but jesus, I don't think getting hit every day is a jumpstart at being a reasonable human member in society.

I'll say more when I know more. Edit: I knew I was late. -.-

Yeah.

[Ninja of the Night]

Spanking is ok, although I personally dont aprove of it

Hitting and slapping a kid is illegal, and I dont approve of it and neither does the law.

That is all for now

[.:Tsukimi Ayana:.]

Personally for me,I totally disapprove of it.I don't learn nothing from being absused,so my mom decideds to talk to me to find what's wrong with me.And to tell ya the truth,it works a whole lot better than her spanking me,hitting me, and just basically abusing me.

[Mistress Koneko]

But is that because you choose not to do it because you know better, or out of fear of being beaten? -.-

Seriously, this is a sensitive subject, but here's my thoughts.

The line between just mildly punishing your child and abusing it is thin, if not existing, as we all define what's violence and what's a nice way of teaching right and wrong different. Sure, my dad grabbed me a bit roughly out of anger when I did stupid stuff when I was a kid, but he never physically hit me, or punished me in any physical way. Neither did my mother.
I don't think raising children the way you raise a dog is the best way to go. Sure, hit your kid enough when he does things you don't like, and he/she'll probably stop doing it, but the real question is why they would stop. The kid won't stop doing wrong stuff out of his own reason and logical thinking of what is right and wrong, he won't do it out of fear. Fear and memory of pain and violence. Without knowing too much about dog psychology, I would have to argue that the human psychology is different. Way different.

"Sure, I hit my children, my parents hit me, and it didn't do me no harm."

^ that's a classic, but it still has a point between all the clichés. I don't think teaching a kid what not to do by hitting it when it does something wrong will do any good. I'd rather reward it when the kid does something right, and tell it what not to do. I'm not saying you can't dicipline your kids or anything, but jesus, I don't think getting hit every day is a jumpstart at being a reasonable human member in society.

I'll say more when I know more. Edit: I knew I was late. -.-

Yeah.Excellant post! ^_^ *applauds and reps*

I know that I wouldn't be able to hit or spank my kids when the time would come to discipline them. I grew up being spanked. Although looking back on it now I am not so sure if what we did was get spanked or abused to a mild extent at times. My mom had a pretty bad temper and would sometimes spank us with shoes, hangers, hairbrushes, wooden spoons, belts and one time my older brother got spanked with a piece of wood from my dad's shop.....

I would much rather try the positive reinforcement thing like Tiger is suggesting then to just give the kid attention when it is bad by punishing them.

[retro]

Sorry? how can say talking to children will be better than hitting them when you don't have kids of your own? being in the profession of schooling & having your own children is complete different expirence.

Someone show me a family raising kids stress free for 15/16 years+? anyone?

[Nyanko]

Spare the rod, spoil the child. There's a lot of truth to that.

I was spanked when I was a kid... I don't see anything wrong with it. It wasn't for every minor offence, it was if I repeatedly did something I was told not to, then I got spanked. And it was just once every time... that isn't even bordering child abuse.

When I was younger, I would've much rather had a spanking than a grounding. It was still a punishment, but it was over a looot quicker.

Now I'm just grounded from electronics for a few weeks. -.-;; imo, that's so much crueler than spanking... LoL.

[En Svensk Tiger]

Someone show me a family raising kids stress free for 15/16 years+? anyone?'

Impossible, probably. But there are other ways to get rid of stress. Buy a punching bag, or start meditating, play chess or whatever. No need to let it out on the kid. Sure, they can be annoying, sure, you may want to hit them, but hey, you (usually) get kids because you want them. I guess this is why you should create yourself before you create another human being.

[Mistress Koneko]

Sorry? how can say talking to children will be better than hitting them when you don't have kids of your own? being in the profession of schooling & having your own children is complete different expirence.

Someone show me a family raising kids stress free for 15/16 years+? anyone?
I can say it because I grew up with being spanked. I have 10 younger siblings and have had to be in charge of them a LOT. I worked in a day care center dealing with kids for I don't know HOW long.

I don't think anyone here is going to be stupid to think that raising kids is going to be a stress free, never a bad moment, TV perfect ending thing. I, along with a few others here, have just simply said that we would like to explore an alternative to the hitting and the spanking.

[Lon]

I don't know and I have no opinion.

[.:Tsukimi Ayana:.]

Sorry? how can say talking to children will be better than hitting them when you don't have kids of your own?
Of course I don't have a family!I'm just 12 for Christ sake!The only reason why I say talking works better is because it works that way so my mom won't have to hit me so much.And in result whenever I do get abused and afterwards the follow things happen:
1)I cuss out all my friends for now reason
2)I get detentions more often until that week of abusation is up
3)I go to sleep 3 hours before I have to get up again
See?I don't learn swat from it other than being cussed out by my mom
These habbits are not for a child like myself,and nor will I ever abuse my kids.I will try to reason with my kids to see what the problem is,that's how I will raise my kids and not the brutal way my mom raised me!

[Tyr]

In my opinion, both spanking and non-physical punishments should be experimented with by the parents on their child when he/she does something wrong. A perfect example of this is what Nyanko said earlier, about how she'd rather have been spanked than grounded. Surely in this case, grounding would be a lot more effective, since she'd dislike it more. Other people may prefer to be grounded, though, so it all matters on the preference of the child. The only thing wrong with my idea is that there's probably little or no way to tell which the child prefers, so its pretty useless.

[Tiggit]

Personally for me,I totally disapprove of it.I don't learn nothing from being absused,so my mom decideds to talk to me to find what's wrong with me.And to tell ya the truth,it works a whole lot better than her spanking me,hitting me, and just basically abusing me.i agree with tyr and ayame. my dad did not hit me exept when i knew better but did it anyway. my mom on the other hand punished me for every thing i did wrong even if i dident know it was.. a good way (i think) is to say to your kid ''you can do whatever you want but you will pay me whan you can'' but you still exersise talking to your kid and spanking

[Fabala]

I don't have kids of my own, but I can't condone hitting a child unless there is absolutely NO alternative. I firmly believe in using a firm upper hand in rearing children...but not a physical one.

Honestly. I see parents who are simply not consistent in what they're trying to teach their children. They tell them "no" until they're worn down to a "yes." This only teaches the child that pressing hard enough will get them their way. What's worse is that I have seen these same parents follow the same patterns...only to one day get fed up enough to strike the child. And what message does that teach? That pressing will mean getting their own way, or perhaps annoying the parents into a slap? They still haven't been taught NOT to do it.

Even so, I can't claim to know all circumstances, and all consequences, so I can't say that every instance of striking a child is wrong. I do, however, firmly believe striking a child in the face, or with an object other than an open hand is WRONG, should the hitting occur at all.

Heh. Wishy-washy much?

[Missy]

As a child, I was spanked a few times.. Sure, it hurt.. but most of the time it didn't teach me to stop doing anything.. I mean, it might have helped sometimes where I know if I did something, I'd get hit again... But when I thought about it, spanking is not the only answer .. In a way, it is abuse.. But I guess parents see it another way.. ...

I don't have any children, but I don't think I can hit my child unless that is the ONLY way to get them to listen.. First I would just ask them nicely, then if not, raise my voice a little.. then maybe threaten mildly.. like take away something they liked... I just dont have the heart to hurt my child... But I guess I wouldn't really understand unelss I actually DO have children, right? ... =\ ... and that wont be anytime soon...

[Karel]

Grounding never works,

I hate hitting kids

As a kid I was beat, slapped, whipped, slammed by my uncles for the littlest things.

I don't hate hitting older guys, even more if they are violent.

there for all that discipline action will be directed towards the Mrs.

and all the Aldult things I'll gladly handle

[Mariya Shidō]

Kid spanking doesnt help , it just shows that the parents failed to find a solution .

[PugznRoku]

Yes and no.

yes, because it teachers the child a lesson, but only smack them on the backside and any bruiseing counts as abuse

no, because the child may think smacking over anything (like a baby bro/sis or friend taking a toy) is a good thing

[Hotsuma]

Man you cant help but beat the crap out of child every now and then to keep their little *** in check! Just thinking about it is pissing me off. My little cousin is a spoil little brat and his mom gives him ever he wants. She such a sucker to his puppy dog eyes it makes me sick to my stomach. She doesnt even lay a finger on him or his sister. Their both spoil.

She tried beating them once and his sister fought back with the belt and was trying to bite her and stuff. Man my aunt has a serious problem. I came to visit one day and they try to talk back to me and stuff but I put them in their place by knocking them the HELL OUT! Not once sense then have they said anything negative to me! All I got to do is raise my Fist and they run like hell.

Plan and simple,you have to beat the crap out you kids to be a good parent.

[Poetic_Day_Dream]

Here is my idea on the whole spanking issue
It doesnt work in the long run i mean my dad spanks me when i do something wrong but it didnt teach me anything i just kept doing it and i kept getting spanked but it wasnt effective the only reason i ever stopped was becuase i got bored not becuase i learnt my lesson i mean now, if you think about it positive acts upon children teach them alot more stuff on what not to do more then punishing them does

[Hotsuma]

Here is my idea on the whole spanking issue
It doesnt work in the long run i mean my dad spanks me when i do something wrong but it didnt teach me anything i just kept doing it and i kept getting spanked but it wasnt effective the only reason i ever stopped was becuase i got bored not becuase i learnt my lesson i mean now, if you think about it positive acts upon children teach them alot more stuff on what not to do more then punishing them does
What the hell your dad spanked to that many times and you kept doing it? He must didnt spank you the RIGHT way. He problemly smacked you on the hand and said Timmy now go to your room with all your toys and games and think about what you did huh?

This is how I got a beating. You pull down your pants and face the wall. Then mom gets a small thin stick and smacks you on your bare *** a couple of times. Or mom will use a phone cord and smack you around alot. Trust me if you got a beating like that you would NEVER do what you did again.

Now thats a beatin baby!

[red storm]

I'm in favor for child spankings, if children can't listen to a vocal warning, they need a physical one. You do something wrong, you get warned. You do it again, and a smack will show you what will happen.

The key is not to do it A: to often, B: too hard. My dad would give me a smack when I tried to enter the kitchen as a kid, and I learned. Plus, it gave me some healthy respect for my parents.

[Tsuna Kadiri]

My parents never spanked/hit me as a child. But to be honest, I don't know whether or not I will or won't. I find it hard to restrain a temper when it comes to children. I'm the youngest one in my family, so I've never had to deal with a younger sibling or cousin. I've never babysat a child either. Perhaps it's my lack of experience around younger kids, but if spanking becomes a necessity, I may consider doing it.

[gadgetgirl16]

spanking your child is fine with me, its the only way for them to learn to be nice, good and thankful, not snoty, spoiled and bad (like the most of the kids in this world that have never got a beating)....and always hit them in the butt, its more better and more senctive and also with a peace of wood or a stick....
one thing i hate the most is that the parents just dont do anything about their spoil little brats, i mean as they grow older they are mean and nasty and unhappy and they always wanting something that they cannot have....

thank god that i learned a lot from my parents that gave my sisters, brother and i a beating with a 4x4 with ducktape around it....lol ^_^

[Chaos Sushi]

child spanking doesnt help anything it just makes the kid more angry or think his or her parents dont love them and when they are mad and dont love their parents god knows what they will do

[little:k]

If i was a grown up i wouldn't hit my kids.
Just go forgounding them and not let them do any thing cool
like a movie going to the mall.

[gadgetgirl16]

child spanking doesnt help anything it just makes the kid more angry or think his or her parents dont love them and when they are mad and dont love their parents god knows what they will do
lol...yea it dose salve anything, the child can be angry all of they want, but they can also learn on whats best for them. becouse you love them and they will understand that, sooner or later.....like "dont do it again or you will get it again, till you stop" im sure you parents have smacked your butt, but you did learn not to do it again? i know i learned from my parents and now it will get past down....

you spank your children becouse you love them and they will become better adults when they grow up....

[Tsuna Kadiri]

lol...yea it dose salve anything, the child can be angry all of they want, but they can also learn on whats best for them.
But I also think it depends on the child your dealing with. With some children, all it takes is a verbal warning. But with others, "talking it out" won't work. So really, it depends on the child.

When I talk to my mom and complain about how younger kids make me uncomfortable, or how I get such a temper arond them, she often just says that it's different when the child is your own. But I guess I'll have to actually have a child to figure that out...

[Mariya Shidō]

Parents have absolutely no right to spank their kids , since most propably , they arent closer to being mature than their offspring . The only lesson you eventually teach them is that violence is a good temporary cure for some problems . So in the end spanking idiots raise spanking idiots . What good is that ? We have enough people loaded with issues without trying our best to contribute to it .

[Princess Minako]

I was spanked as a child and I don't believe I'm an idiot .......

I believe that its all in context. My father is a very devout catholic and believes in a lot of what they teach/do. He's also a very good man, a hard worker and very successful with many friends that he's made up the ladder on the way. Everything has to do in the context in which it was given. it also has to do with severity, you're thinking that spanking is just beating the child until they're raw, its not always the case. NOTHING is black and white, our world is made of shades of grey.

The Goddess has Spoken

[.:Tsukimi Ayana:.]

Parents have absolutely no right to spank their kids , since most propably , they arent closer to being mature than their offspring . The only lesson you eventually teach them is that violence is a good temporary cure for some problems . So in the end spanking idiots raise spanking idiots . What good is that ? We have enough people loaded with issues without trying our best to contribute to it .
Thank you!Praise the lord!^^
Atleast someone has a better explaination on my side of this arguement.^^

[Ollie]

Thank you!Praise the lord!^^
Atleast someone has a better explaination on my side of this arguement.^^well, it really isn't. Especially when you read Minako's response.

Spanking children does NOT teach that violence is right. I was spanked, but I'm not a very violent person at all.

I think the kind of discipline Nightmares was thinking of was the really abusive beatings...like the kid is a boy but he plays with dolls, and his dad doesn't like this and fractures a rib or two.


And to answer that Tiger person's question - I don't draw on the walls NOW because I know it's bad, but I didn't then. Now I know better =)

[mirage_knight*]

personally i think that u shouldnt spank your child. i say this because up to a certain point it can be called child abuse and the law forbids child abuse.

[Ollie]

personally i think that u shouldnt spank your child. i say this because up to a certain point it can be called child abuse and the law forbids child abuse.
okayy...since it seems a lot of people think that spanking automatically equals abuse, let me post a few things.


I have been in that position with my son (Ryan) and my (step) other son, (Steven). Steven is the older of the two and he has pulled the not listening then threatening to call CPS or tell his biological mother all sorts of things if I laid one hand on him (he lives with her and we have
standard visitation). The key is to turn it around. I absolutely could not spank Steven because of what he might have made up and told his mother; then her being the vindictive sort, would embellish even further to her benefit.

The answer to my dilemma with either child has been this (with moderate success):

* If the child does not listen the first time around (i.e. drumming with a stick on something), walk up and take it away.
* If the child wants something (other than necessities of course), ignore them. "Would you make me some chocolate milk?" "Can I go outside?" "Can I watch such and such video?" These type of requests are not
detrimental to their well being and it puts the shoe on the other foot. Gently remind him/her that when you asked them to do something, that you were ignored and you are treating them with the same courtesy. You have to decide in which situations this suggestion works best. Of
course there are situations where this will not do at all (sharp objects or physical harm to themselves or another), but try it on the smaller things. Ron is 100% correct when he said consistency is the KEY!

When Steven pulled that "I'm gonna call the police if you spank me" bit, I called CPS and asked them for a counter to this. The guy on the phone asked me to put Steven on the phone. The CPS worker apparently told him that under no uncertain terms would they respond to a call for spankings or anything of the sort. Furthermore, if he came up with something juicer and it was a lie, that the police would be speaking with him personally.
Steven's eyes got WIDE while he was on the phone with this man, He has never made that threat again.

ShondaSo, CPS [Child Protective Services] will not always respond to spanking. It can't be considered abuse in every case.

I recall reading some interview with Kelly Osbourne, where she tried to pull that stunt. She called her mother...something very rude, and her mother slapped her. Then Kelly called CPS and told them what her mom did, and CPS asked her why her mother hit her. When Kelly told the man on the phone what she said, he told her not to call again and hung up.

Shonda also said this:
'Punishment is an action to inflict pain or humiliation (been there, was that) Discipline is an action to correct a pattern or habits or behavior.

However, I am one of those that believes that if you spare the rod, you spoil the child (as long as the child knows you are willing to spank, you
don't necessarily need to employ it every time) Some will say "You are just instilling fear into the child" but that is the basis for all discipline. If you are afraid of a ticket, you will fasten your seatbelt when you drive your car.'

source (http://parentingtoolbox.com/disc.html)


Besides, it's rather unfair to call spanking abusive when you do not know the whole story. Like the Kelly Osbourne example I wrote a bit up this post.

[kksdueler]

personal i think it should be allow. but it should be in moderation

[Ollie]

personal i think it should be allow. but it should be in moderationah, but, not everyone agrees on what moderation is.

[Zeke_Asakura]

yeah, I think a teacher caning a student is...a bit too far. It should be the parents who deliver that kind of punishment.MAN! that's right,in first grade whenever we do something wrong like racing the hell out of us at lunch time,she hits our arms w/ a wooden stick!
and oh,I guess spanking is,ok,if you're talking about slapping the butt w/ ur hand,my parents hit me w/ a belt w/ some metal thignies on it (what can I say,I'm a kid.)

[animeadmirer]

I'm all for it. I admit there can be numerous cases of overdoing it to the point of child abuse but that's not the point. The point the discipline the children at a early age. After a certain period its useless so spanking is a early discipline method. These days especially in the more developed (ahem~) nations nations te parents treatment towards children has become too soft.

[Mariya Shidō]

I am against slapping in general , relating to §1 in our constitution "The dignity of a human being is untouchable" , and each slap undermines that because slapped kids a) can feel humiliated and b) feel defenseless , and that is never a good foundation for a learning process . And it kinda sickens me that one person or few persons really recommend abusive beatings .


What the hell your dad spanked to that many times and you kept doing it? He must didnt spank you the RIGHT way. He problemly smacked you on the hand and said Timmy now go to your room with all your toys and games and think about what you did huh?

This is how I got a beating. You pull down your pants and face the wall. Then mom gets a small thin stick and smacks you on your bare *** a couple of times. Or mom will use a phone cord and smack you around alot. Trust me if you got a beating like that you would NEVER do what you did again.

Now thats a beatin baby!

Things like that rather nurture hard feelings against parents , and its only a question of time until say , a son is able to do that with pops , in case he thinks that pops needs to learn a lesson . People learn best by choice and with time when maturing eventually . My opinion is , that any means of force dont help in the long run .

[Ollie]

I am against slapping in general , relating to §1 in our constitution "The dignity of a human being is untouchable" , and each slap undermines that because slapped kids a) can feel humiliated and b) feel defenseless , and that is never a good foundation for a learning process .possibly not, but it -is- a good way to learn, regardless.

let's not forget that abuse is also neglect. =\

[sephiroth33]

i am not aganst it if it is for disiplining when i was a kid i got a ing all the time ha;)

[Princess Minako]

A child at my work was just horrendous today. He was running around throwing rocks at the building. Just being a rabble rouser. So then another realtor handed me this kids homework and said "go xerox this". So I did and kept the original. He held the paper up on its side and looked like he was going to rip it. The kid kept misbehaving... then Don looked at him again and held it up higher. The kid continued and Don ripped the paper in half. Now it actually wasn't the childs homework, but he didn't know that. The kid then stopped misbehaving and was very upset. Don said "now he knows that I would do it so he won't misbehave as much". Which is true. He behaved a lot better afterwards.

You need to tell the child you are not going to put up with a tantrum or misbehaving. By just taking something away or grounding them to a room where they have lots of toys etc, you're not really punishing them to not do it again. My boyfriends mom treated them similarly to not spanking and rarely grounding. Their son turned out fine, their daughter is just, there is no word. She smokes in the house, after they have asked her not to, she dates guys her mother does not approve of, and her mom is one of the coolest person ever so its not like that these guys are losers, she goes out at night doesn't tell anyone where she's going or if she'll be home. Disappeared for days at a time. She could die in a ditch and we'd not knwo for days. So how is that better than instilling some responsibility in her so that she learns to mind her parents. If you ask her to do something simple like "Pick up the pizza for dinner' she'll go "no GOD, I'm busy, I'm on AIM.. ugh". We make fun of her that she's napoleon dynamite. She could have used some spankings as a child to make her a mind her parents more. :P

The Goddess has Spoken

[banzii]

heck ya u gotta decipline your kid!

[ladyanime]

Personally I was spanked as a child and look how far i have come. I belive in child spanking as long as it is not abuse (yes there is a difference). So what if the child is a little mad at you (the parent) for a while. Its not going to hurt them to feel a little healthy anger. I think that its okey for a child to be angry w/ their parents, as long as they understand that they should not try to do anything about it. one of my friends has never been spanked and she is a spoiled brat.

[viperson]

anyone that got spanked as a child has bad perents because no one should get spanked is a sin if god

[Glitch4.0]

huh well that is a toughie, i was never beaten, well on rare ocasion, and i gotta say i was alittle brat, but not as much as some. and to date im a pretty decent person, not to brag or anything, but to report i gotta say mental enforment is much stronger then physical, they had to break my spirit with tearing me down mentally before i realized what kind of brat i was. its because once a kid is a spoiled little brat there are little options left, beating them will make them stop for the time being, but it wont change there ways, its like you gotta go to the source of his actions (mental patterns) and change them, and this must be done at an early age, if you wait till there teens to reprogram them, it will be a very hard task, pending on the child i suppose, i should know i have two brothers, 13, and 14, they are worse then any child i have seen, its because there father rulled them with anger and fear, then they grew this rebelious spirit, and they wont listen to the cops even. i guess in short im against spanking, and mental renforcment is the way to go, in my opinion

[LadyPSerenity]

anyone that got spanked as a child has bad perents because no one should get spanked is a sin if god
Excuse me? My parents are NOT bad parents. I was spanked as a child, and I believe I have quite the amount of discipline and my parents mean the world to me.
I learned from my mistakes and knew not to do it again.

[Glitch4.0]

well not all chidren are as smart as you ladyPSerenity ^_^. some take offense to spanking rather then learning you know. i guess thats were loving discipline comes in....i never knew such things

[LadyPSerenity]

Perhaps... but I'm a firm believer in harsh and loving discipline. If you love your child you will show them love when they are right and show them discipline when they are wrong.

You will not allow temper tantrums. And if you threaten to take them home, then you do it. Never make an empty thread.

Perhaps all of this is why I'll never have children, but I believe my mother raised me right, and that the spanking didn't inhibit me... only aided me in knowledge of right and wrong.

[Glitch4.0]

hmmm, well your discipline was thought out and done correctly....i guess in a world were parents are made out of mistakes they walk into parenthood with little barrings, so sometimes they punish there children for the wrong reasons sometimes. i can only assume i was never punished in order to teach me something, its was because daddy came home drunk and screamed at me for for not picking up my back pack hahaha so i was taught in a much different way then you were

[Amix]

Lol I don't know what to say about that, just let the parents decide what's best.=/

[harakiri]

What the hell your dad spanked to that many times and you kept doing it? He must didnt spank you the RIGHT way. He problemly smacked you on the hand and said Timmy now go to your room with all your toys and games and think about what you did huh?

This is how I got a beating. You pull down your pants and face the wall. Then mom gets a small thin stick and smacks you on your bare *** a couple of times. Or mom will use a phone cord and smack you around alot. Trust me if you got a beating like that you would NEVER do what you did again.

Now thats a beatin baby!
that is nothing compared to what my mom did to me.she beats me with whatever she gets her hands on.i went to the hospital once.she beat me with an extension cord.i'm not lying.so that's why i'm not for spanking your child because it doesn't do anything but make your kid hate you.

[Eris]

You're teaching your kid that it (violence) is the (best) way to solve a problem if you hit your kid when it does something you don't agree about.

That might have been so back in the stone age, but it certainly isn't these days.

[VRini87]

It really disgusts me when I watch talk shows with the "out of control" children. At first, I start to feel sorry for the parents, but soon I can't help but think they're partly to blame. I don't care how they do it, but parents need to control their kids. Positive reinforcement works miracles for dogs, but some kids just don't respond to it. Spanking, to me, is a perfectly acceptable way to discipline children. Whatever method of discipline a parent chooses, it is important to follow through with the punishment. I've always benn around kids, and giving in is the worst thing anyone can do.

[Vagary]

I was never hit by my parents before, and I do not approve of child spanking. There are other ways of getting your children to behave.

[Ollie]

that is nothing compared to what my mom did to me.she beats me with whatever she gets her hands on.i went to the hospital once.she beat me with an extension cord.i'm not lying.so that's why i'm not for spanking your child because it doesn't do anything but make your kid hate you.Yeah, that's more like abuse than punishment, really.

The thing people get so mixed up about when it comes to spanking is that they think of ABUSE - a parent or guardian beating a poor kid senseless. That's NOT how it's done, or supposed to be done.

I already explained this WHOLE thing on a previous page, go read that if you haven't already.

[DragonNight]

when i was a kid i was spanked, ear pulled (Which is why they are so big :P ) and slapped.
Do i think its right? It depends.
I didnt grow up to be a bad person, and I learned to obey my parents. I got a warning before they would do any physical stuff, so I knew somewhat of what was coming.
But that was me...
I think that child spanking can be effective, if you give the child a warning before you start spanking them or if they know they are doing wrong and just wont stop. But that might also make the child think * i have to be perfect or she/he will hit me* which is not always the case, but it could be. It can make a child fearful in their actions, If taken to an extreme.
It also depends in the situation.
Sometimes we need a little slap here and there...
people's opinion on it can also come from where they were raised. Where i came from it was perfectly normal to beat your child unto a bloody pulp...After all its teaching them discipline.
back on track...
It depends on what they were doing, do they know if it was wrong, how badly you are going to do it, and if they deserved it.

[Marie2007]

getting spanked is nowhere near as bad as getting abused by parents

[Ami~chan]

There is a difference between discipline and abuse. Discipline comes in many forms, as does abuse. Since I was physically and mentally abused as a child, I'll probably NEVER hit my child. I would want my child to associate *insert what kid did wrong here* as wrong, and not associate it with pain or fear. Since my dad abused me, I soon grew to associate the image of him himself with pain and fear. Henceforth I grew afraid of him, and I hated the very sight of him. Having your child fear you isn't a good thing.

But sometimes, when lecturing and being grounded doesn't work, a swift yet hard smack on the bottom might be what the kid needs. Not hard enough to bruise or anything, but to get the point across of what the kid was doing is bad.

I'd rather get spanked (not by my father, though). Being lectured is so boring! You just kinda wish they'd beat ya and get it over with :P

[Krsnik]

Most parents today just give their kids a timeout, or the old classic "Go to your room." Yeah, send your kid to a television, computer, or a game console. Good punishment. That's more like encourage-ment. Kids these days are just soft, wussies. I think maddoxx said it best - "You're a bad parent if you don't beat your kid."

Don't get me wrong, i was spanked amongst other things as a child. Beating the crap out of them is another story. Spankings stick with a kid. They don't do something twice if they know a spanking or something like that is involved. A Mere grounding or a timeout of some sort just isn't sufficient. It's harsh lovin', but someone's gotta keep the friggin' kids in line.

[VARLY]

yea, punishing in light limit has some good result, but do more than that:
the children's getting a fear trauma, hatred towards parents, too afraid to do everything that they think they will do wrong again n get hit, become introvert or even seek what they don't get at home outside there....

[blondy]

thats going way to far. i am against it.

[teed]

i'm against it! but it's useful sometimes!!

[Ollie]

the children's getting a fear trauma, hatred towards parents, too afraid to do everything that they think they will do wrong again n get hit, become introvert or even seek what they don't get at home outside there....I don't think that will all result from just getting spanked as a little kid. I don't hate MY parents.

[Krsnik]

No, it may strike fear into the child's heart, but if they back talk, a little "Respect" goes a long way. Don't get me wrong, a lot of people are confusing a spanking with "Abuse". Spankings are normal, abuse isn't. The child protective services don't recognize spankings as an actual threat to the child's well-being. The child usually doesn't do the action they did to recieve the spanking. I had spankings and other things as a kid, and i'm not introvert. That's a generalization. Most kids joke about stories they have about getting spanked. Usually they're stupid, and most of the time funny. Taking the object away or priviledges can sometime send the message across, but it's almost guaranteed they'll do it again. I'm not saying there aren't any other parenting techniques, but spankings gets your point across pretty friggin' quick. Sometimes words can only go so far, and action has to be used.

For instance - Let's say you had a daughter named Chrissy. Chrissy never listens to you, and always does stupid things. You - the parent, have taken her most prized posessions away, and made her into a recluse because of grounding. Chrissy smiles, nods, and acts like an angel, yet when her parents (You) go to sleep, she's gone. Chrissy would go to parties, do things that teenagers these days do, and numerous other things. Let's say you find out about everything she's been doing from an undisclosed source (I.E. her friend that's worried about her). You cannot say anything that you haven't already said. It's more along the lines of the time to act, instead of just taking stuff away and grounding them. Ignorance can lead to a lot of psychological problems, but a friggin' spanking isn't going to scar you for life. One spanking can even get the point across. All you'd need to do after that is simply record your voice on a CD, and have them play it at every night club at a certain time. I guarantee you that little chrissy will think twice before going out again - if she is out, the minute she hears that voice she's gone back home. Huuuu~