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ladykayra
03-10-2005, 08:06 PM
i hope it ok to post this here since i couldn't find anywhere else=^.^;=its a long poem i wrote and i was hoping to get crits on it(about two pages if you used word)well i think that all you really need to know about it but maybe that its kinda horrorish.......

http://ladykcomics.bravehost.com/The%20String.htm
big daddy pimp
03-11-2005, 03:09 AM
poems are stupid and i dont like them at all i would rather listen to country music.:p
Funny_popsicle
03-11-2005, 06:08 PM
poems are stupid and i dont like them at all i would rather listen to country music.:p man screw COUNTRY MUSIC

[poem deleted]

see i made dat up in 5 sec its better than country music

Edit by Wizzy: Don't swear in your posts! and that "poem" is just inappropriate
Fantasy fighter
03-12-2005, 12:14 PM
You can't post poems that aren't your own. Some mod will probably close this thread soon.
wizz-o-matic
03-12-2005, 03:21 PM
You can't post poems that aren't your own. Some mod will probably close this thread soon.
re-read her post again, that poem is her ;)
Fantasy fighter
03-21-2005, 11:14 AM
re-read her post again, that poem is her ;)
:o :o :o ...ups...:o :o :o
IpleaInsanity
03-21-2005, 12:38 PM
Pretty good expect you should probably chose 1 form for the poem. You alternated between rhyming and free form and that got a little confusing. It was a marverlous idea and the thought behind it was amazing. Also, it got a little choppy and didn't seem to flow all that well. That's a main reason why I like poetry it is supposed to flow and connect. You got into it near the end and in some parts. Overall very nice and with a few changes you will have a masterpiece!!
ladykayra
03-21-2005, 07:09 PM
Pretty good expect you should probably chose 1 form for the poem. You alternated between rhyming and free form and that got a little confusing. It was a marverlous idea and the thought behind it was amazing. Also, it got a little choppy and didn't seem to flow all that well. That's a main reason why I like poetry it is supposed to flow and connect. You got into it near the end and in some parts. Overall very nice and with a few changes you will have a masterpiece!!
thank you*hugs*your the first person to actually tell me what was wrong with it!!i knew there was something but i couldn't figure it out on my own, you don't know how much you just helped me!!!!ay, now it can go our of the first draft and dead pile=^.^=
Fantasy fighter
03-22-2005, 05:40 PM
Just curiosity but how did you post the poem on that link?
ladykayra
03-22-2005, 05:52 PM
Just curiosity but how did you post the poem on that link?
um...i typed it in word then saved it as an htm file and uploaded it to one of my websites.......not sure if thats what yer asking but ya know i never think anyways sooooooo,i'll go do my homework now
Fantasy fighter
03-22-2005, 05:55 PM
You have a website??? Lucky you
wizz-o-matic
03-23-2005, 06:58 AM
You have a website??? Lucky youDoh, if you're smart you can also have your website, there's a lot of free webservers on the net, you just need to find them.
One of them is the bravenet.com, where ladykayra has her poem. Just look a bit around!
Chi?
03-30-2005, 12:03 PM
aw wow! that was so......so..COOL!!
i love to write too!!
^_^
isn't it fun?
Fantasy fighter
03-30-2005, 12:33 PM
Doh, if you're smart you can also have your website, there's a lot of free webservers on the net, you just need to find them.
One of them is the bravenet.com, where ladykayra has her poem. Just look a bit around!
Where do i find one?
ladykayra
03-30-2005, 07:44 PM
to chi:indeed writing is much fun!!
to Fantasy fighter : the wizard just told you one.... bravenet.com you can also go to tripod or a few others(can't rember them off th top of my head)
to the wizard: gah yer avi it its attracting my attention I keep staring at it 'cause it blinks or flashs and i can't tell so i just keep staring at it=^.^;=hehehehe