View Full Version : Original Fiction: Once Upon an Apron (Short Story)

12-21-2004, 10:08 PM

12-21-2004, 10:30 PM
No! Curse of the un-ending ending!

12-28-2004, 10:19 PM
That Made No Sense! If she's like betroathed how can she not see him again!?!

12-29-2004, 07:05 AM
Lady Ai, eh..(can I call u that?) anyway, i hate stories with endings that dont end, then again i do , it gives a sense that u want to read on, and then again, you may just want to make up an ending... It's awesome!!

01-01-2005, 01:33 AM
There is an ending. I said Fin.

Anyway, it's supposed to make you think. Did he get killed? Did she die? Did thier parents break the agreement... did she not see him as the same person that she once did when she was younger, did he change when he grew up...

So many things to think.

03-24-2006, 09:11 PM
Last post was 2 years ago. I think it's okay to bump this. =)

03-24-2006, 09:45 PM
Well...a year and three-ish months ;p But I'll let you off. Still want more to the ending, though!

03-24-2006, 09:56 PM
Wow. No offense, but seem to specialize in these little odd shorts. If only I could get six posts for a response. ;_; *goes off to rant in journal... again*

03-27-2006, 01:16 AM
Well, usually when I write a long story, I don't post it until it's done. Unless I really want opinions on it.

I remember posting the short stories because all the stories people WERE posting, were GOD AWFUL.

03-27-2006, 05:49 PM
It was short, but it did leave room for bunches of thinking.

Anyone can take that and go in a billion directions. The boy could have been abducted by aliens for all we know.

I like it; good job, as usual, Ai.

03-28-2006, 04:24 AM
wow i never see u post ur poems in here! anyways its nice too bad its fiction. keep it up

03-28-2006, 06:14 PM
This is a story not a poem, but thank you.

Bucky Katt
04-09-2006, 03:07 PM
It's interesting. It's been five seconds since I finished and already I have...-.Counts.- Oh, say...ten questions and answers to what happened to him. Here's one:
Q: Maybe something happened to the girl?
A: Yeah! She may have suddenly warped into a different dimension where everything is the same, but the boy and his father never existed!
=D Am I smart, or what?

04-09-2006, 09:52 PM
Perhaps the boy or the girl was sucked into another one of Ai's stories!

04-09-2006, 11:01 PM

OH MY GOD! I want to put one of them in another story now. xD

04-10-2006, 02:55 AM
Hey I really like your work! Like this one it makes you think of what might have happened and why she never saw him again! Its really nice!:D

~Troublesome Woman~
04-10-2006, 03:30 AM
That was... interesting. Maybe the mum just said that because... she wanted the girl to get over her shyness, the message being "You never know who you'll meet".

04-10-2006, 08:27 PM
That and looks aren't everything.

Bucky Katt
04-11-2006, 06:15 AM

OH MY GOD! I want to put one of them in another story now. xD
That would make a cool story! Do it, do it! Quick! Before someone steals the idea! >_>

04-11-2006, 11:39 AM
O_o someone can't steal my characters and put them in a story. It's an infridgement on my copyright.

Bucky Katt
04-11-2006, 09:00 PM
Not to be off topic, but you have a copyright? Does that happen once you start to write the story, or once you finish it?

Serenith Youkai
04-11-2006, 09:07 PM
Aww, I really like it Lady Ai ^_^. Very nicely written! At first glance your like what about the ending? What happened to him? But then, like you said, you start to think what could have happened between them all... It gets your imagination start running. Anyways I really like it again! A+!

Lilium Filix
04-11-2006, 09:08 PM
Wow, I enjoyed this story! ^^
It really made me think...
I wish I knew what became of the girl and the boy though.. TT.TT

~The Angel has spoken~

07-03-2006, 01:16 AM
Not to be off topic, but you have a copyright? Does that happen once you start to write the story, or once you finish it?Now a days, whenever you post something to the internet and it's dated, it's copyrighted.

Bucky Katt
07-03-2006, 10:51 AM
Ah, thank you.
It's been three months or so later, and the questions about the story are still in my head. It's that good of a short story!

07-03-2006, 02:23 PM
lol, I didn't even know people replied to it. I was cleaning out like page 40 and I was like "Oh hey!"

It's nice to know that somethig I spent a good five minutes on actually made an impact.

07-23-2006, 10:54 AM
Wow that was a good story. It was mysterious how she didn't see him as a teenager. It made me think hard about what happened. I came up with 3 possiblities

1. He ran away
2. He died ....or....
3. He married someone else

You should really do more ^.^

07-23-2006, 11:26 AM
:D Really? You think so?

I'll go write another one then. I just need an idea now.

07-23-2006, 01:09 PM
That story, though unfinished, put a lot on my mind... Was she a princess? was she to marry someone who betrayed the family? If the boy grew to a tennager, would he think about her? If he is royalty himself, did he die in war?

ACK! so many thoughts! @[email protected]

07-23-2006, 02:08 PM
The story is finished. There will never be a continuation, it is meant to leave you wondering.

07-23-2006, 02:33 PM
o_o It made ME think. o_O;;

07-23-2006, 02:37 PM
You should sell the rights to continuing this story Aies-y. Seems to be much interest in it XD

07-23-2006, 02:46 PM
I don't know if it's something you can really continue on though...

07-23-2006, 03:02 PM
I think it's fine. o_O.. I, personally, like things that let me come up with my own ending. The way it is now, it leaves the reader able to imagine their own ending. Stop complaining that she's not writing anymore and use your damn imaginations! ;OOOO 4rel yoz. Get creative! I mean, maybe she never saw him again because she ninjas her way into his home late at night and stabbed him in the face with a shuriken!

07-23-2006, 03:08 PM
I figured it was because he was a manifestation of her innermost desire to have been born male. She hid from it as she hid from him. Later, growing up, she searches for that hidden part of herself and, when she finds it, goes butch.

07-23-2006, 03:18 PM

WHAT THE HELL REI. I swear to god, keep your personal fantasies out of fanfiction! I dont wanna read that crap!

07-23-2006, 08:04 PM
LOL. Right right, Rei-ko. And the boy comes back, now a man, asking for her hand in marriage. Only to find that she has gone completely off the deep end from not being able to fulfill her wish to become a man. The man didn't know what to do with himself any longer!

07-23-2006, 08:38 PM
Yeah, because by then she's into women.

...maybe he undergoes a sex change...? That would explain why she doesn't see "him" anymore.

07-23-2006, 08:41 PM
And then she marries "her"


07-23-2006, 08:43 PM
LOL. Yeah. He came back like a Swedish Olga. Lmaaaao.

07-25-2006, 05:18 PM
A what?

Damn you two. I'm going to kill you both if someone writes a story continuation on this.

02-23-2008, 07:02 PM
Bringing this thread
back into the future
this isn't quite a haiku
because i lost the one kaitou made me

wow that so didnt rhyme at all.

Okay. I liked this story a lot. It was one of my first times not basing characters off of anyone I knew, or off of a fanfiction.

I would like more feedback on it. :)

02-23-2008, 10:02 PM
There is an ending. I said Fin.

Anyway, it's supposed to make you think. Did he get killed? Did she die? Did thier parents break the agreement... did she not see him as the same person that she once did when she was younger, did he change when he grew up...

So many things to think.Well, I have an idea. Which Fabala stole.

Almost. Mine has more crack in it. >)

My own belief is that "she never saw the boy again" because he turned into a GIRL (or WOMAN, rather). And his vow in life was to become her rival (ie: steal her boyfriends, get the starring role in school plays, become the teacher's pet, etc.), since she was so mean to him all those years ago and just stared at him, from behind that apron, as though he were some sort of freak. Of course the "apron girl" never knows that her rival is the boy she loved long ago, but her rival uses the "apron girl"s feelings (her hatred, her love for the boy) to her advantage. u_u

And then at some point in the story, they get drafted in a war. That involves fighting robots made of beer cans and butter. u_u

I dare someone to turn that into an actual story. I'm crazy enough to try and do it...but I challenge SOMEONE ELSE to try it as well. >.>

02-29-2008, 01:47 PM
I actually was reading this when I bumped it back up.

And I really liked the idea that he wasn't the same boy she saw in her youth. That when she saw him again, he was a man, and she was a woman, and no longer afraid.