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shi_amai
11-21-2004, 03:38 PM
I need help. How do you get over a person? How do you stop having feelings for that person? I have a boyfriend and I won't be able to be happy with him unless I get over another boyfriend. So please, help me. -_-

Sophonax
11-21-2004, 04:13 PM
erm.. that depends..
Write poems.. play golf.. jump down from the top of a building.. just do something that won't make you think of that person..
I usually daydream or something.. maybe write a few poems and such...

Ollie
11-21-2004, 04:23 PM
don't concentrate on them...and your feelings will eventually fade away.

worked for me.

Milly
11-21-2004, 04:25 PM
It's hard to forget the person, but what I do is just think about nother person I'm with or just daydream about a wonderful fantasy. :)

Zedekiah
11-21-2004, 04:26 PM
Either as Whispers said or go force yourself in love with someone else. Backfire on the last one is that it could go on for quite some time, though.

Shadowstarr
11-21-2004, 05:55 PM
i don't think u have 2 force urself
cause if u do u might not be happy

hmmm...
maybe u should chat with ur friends and ask them some stuff or just watch some anime shows or read some manga
^^

Kyo Kusanagi
11-21-2004, 06:29 PM
Feelings for a person never fade away. I'd say you just store them away in a corner of your mind that you don't acknowledge.



I'd recommend a reality check. You need to develop the friendship before turning it into an intimate relationship. If you hadn't gotten a bit over your ex by the time your current boyfriend asked you out, then you should have put it off until your feelings for your ex was out of the way. Now its not really a fair start for your boyfriend.

Just my 2 steaks.

Havana
11-21-2004, 06:53 PM
[QUOTE=Legendary Gokou]Feelings for a person never fade away. I'd say you just store them away in a corner of your mind that you don't acknowledge.
QUOTE]

That's true.. but it takes patience though..same for anything else.

Fabala
11-21-2004, 07:06 PM
I'd have to say you have to realize that you won't "get over him" the way you want to. He was a part of your life and a part of your heart, and it's a whole lot harder to remove that than just wanting to.

You have to accept that he was a part of your life, and learn to stop obsessing over ridding him from your thoughts. It will come. In the meantime, enjoy your time with this boyfriend. Enjoy it because you'll try keeping in mind that you don't have to have erased the first one to enjoy the second. You can keep the memories, and make new ones.

Daenerys
11-21-2004, 08:05 PM
I'd have to say you have to realize that you won't "get over him" the way you want to. He was a part of your life and a part of your heart, and it's a whole lot harder to remove that than just wanting to.

You have to accept that he was a part of your life, and learn to stop obsessing over ridding him from your thoughts. It will come. In the meantime, enjoy your time with this boyfriend. Enjoy it because you'll try keeping in mind that you don't have to have erased the first one to enjoy the second. You can keep the memories, and make new ones.Exactly. Couldn't have even imagined at trying to say it better myself.

Eris
11-21-2004, 08:09 PM
Drink a bunch of alcohol and do stupid things. Although it may sound idiotic this will interrupt your normal thought routines and allow you to get over the person in question.

Knightmare686
11-21-2004, 08:24 PM
its hard to say, you just try to stop thinking about them. try to get someone new in your life if you what to

e||a*f|n|x
11-22-2004, 06:04 AM
well..my advice is to forget bout them or else you are going to suffer more..

Myrra
11-22-2004, 08:39 AM
I'd recommend a reality check. You need to develop the friendship before turning it into an intimate relationship. If you hadn't gotten a bit over your ex by the time your current boyfriend asked you out, then you should have put it off until your feelings for your ex was out of the way. Now its not really a fair start for your boyfriend.

Just my 2 steaks.
I happen to agree with Gokou. What were you thinking jumping into another relationship when you hadn't dealt with the issues of the previous one. It's not fair to him to still be thinking of your ex when you are with him. I recommend that since it's a bit late, that you slow things down. Work on becoming better friends with this guy first.

Write your thoughts down in a journal everyday...it doesn't matter if it makes any sense to anyone other than you. You can write poetry or draw. Play a sport. Run, bike, walk, hike...whatever works for you. Physical activity I believe helps to clear the mind.

shi_amai
11-22-2004, 09:13 AM
Work on becoming friends with my ex or my boyfriend? And yes, I know it's not fair to him. When I got together with him I was so sure I was over my ex, but then I saw him and he started talking to me and I realized I wasn't. I'll try the best I can to take your guy's advice. Maybe I'll start a sport. Do something that requires actual thought and me to be moving and talking to people. Maybe I can even find someone who can help me. Thank you. ^_^

Myrra
11-22-2004, 09:16 AM
I was referring to your current boyfriend. All good relationships begin with friendship.

shi_amai
11-22-2004, 09:22 AM
Well, for a while we were just friends and we talked a lot and stayed up late at night on the computer and talked (we were still just friends). But it's sad because he says I'm the closest thing to a best friend but he prefers not to have a best friend. I think I wouldn't get mad at him as much if we became better friends. Maybe I should tell him lets be friends for now because if we go too fast like my last one then it might turn out like that. Maybe it is best for us to just be friends for now. What do you think?

karasu13
11-22-2004, 11:09 AM
I know how you feel, I'm kinda having the same problem, but I'm actually looking for a new boyfriend. The way I got over my last boyfrined, was just to tell myself that he was just a jack-***, and didn't deserve me, or really love me, which is true, cuz if he did love me, then he would've at least TRIED to work out the problem we were having, instead of going out with someone else.
And ya know what?? We just broke up 2 weeks ago, and I'm fine, other than the fact that I'm alot colder, emotionally, than I usually am, which is why I'm trying to find a new boyfriend for myself........
.....Any takers???(Must live in or VERY close to Buffalo, NY, USA.)
E-mail me:
[email protected]
[email protected] :D

Genghis Beatrix
11-22-2004, 11:48 AM
I took me six months to get over my last one... and I didn't hook up with another guy until I was sure that I was over him... because it wouldn't be fair for me or the other guy if I still was in love with my ex... After we broke up, I couldn't stop thinking about him, then I tried to get over him by several ways: Not thinking about him, not talking to him, not trying to see how he was doing, and yes, even trying to hook up with another guy to force my relationship with him. None of that worked. And I didn't get another guy until the first of this month (which would be HamHam-Sempai). I stopped talking to me ex a month and a week ago because I kinda figured that he didn't care. My thoughts about him became less, and I am with a wonderful, caring, and actually really fun guy. I feel more attached to HamHam did I did with my ex. It takes time, and if you concentrate on getting over him, it'll take longer... much longer. All I gotta say that will help you get over him is time and love from friends, family, and, if your new bf truly loves you, he can help, too.

Princess Minako
11-22-2004, 11:56 AM
Go out with friends, surround yourself with people who care about you and have fun. Just because you're in a rut doesn't mean you can't go out and enjoy yourself. You can't go looking for love, it will find you when its time. My best relationships I've ever had were with people who were there when I wasn't looking for love, things just happened to fall into the right place. You can't force it. Just go and have fun, and soon enough you'll find out that you don't need a significant other to complete you or to have fun.

The Goddess has Spoken

shi_amai
11-22-2004, 06:02 PM
That's sounds a lot like with me and my ex, karasu13. Really? Buffalo. I used to live right by there, and have relatives by there, but I live in Florida now.

Thanks for your advice. I especially thank Princess Minako and the last few people who posted. I think you guys gave me some really good advice. Thank you all so much. ^_^

[BlackDeath]
11-23-2004, 07:55 AM
I need help. How do you get over a person? How do you stop having feelings for that person? I have a boyfriend and I won't be able to be happy with him unless I get over another boyfriend. So please, help me. -_-
Well you make him a thing of the past...KILL HIM xD

Genghis Beatrix
11-23-2004, 11:19 AM
No prob. any time.

karasu13
11-23-2004, 01:56 PM
That's sounds a lot like with me and my ex, karasu13. Really? Buffalo. I used to live right by there, and have relatives by there, but I live in Florida now.

Thanks for your advice. I especially thank Princess Minako and the last few people who posted. I think you guys gave me some really good advice. Thank you all so much. ^_^


Small world, I have relatives in Florida, near Pensacola. :)
And, yes, Buffalo.....(Hating the snow, which has yet to arrive. The snow is out to attack me, when I least expect it.) :p