View Full Version : Advice would be nice..... (ack! that rhymes!)

10-20-2004, 03:48 PM
>.< erm.....yeah..... i didn't mean for it to rhyme but that isn't the point.

well now, since other users posted topics for advice i might as well do it too since i need a lot. >.<

alright.....this may be a little long so bare with me. >.< X_x X.x

my friends and i have been having this arguement (which is very big, might i add) and everyone is blaming each other. sometimes two of my friends and i whisper or we just lean closer together to talk (since the lunchroom is so loud!). well then one of them gets all "DON'T WHISPER! IT ISN'T NICE!" and bites our heads off....you could say. it's been lasting since the first day of school. (yes, yes, i know. that is pretty sad for it to start on the first day of school. so you don't have to tell me about it being pathetic.) and sometimes we don't whisper at all but they have this idea that we are talking about someone at the lunch table (which is a very pathetic thing to think about).
and so the twin of the one that hates the "whispering" threatened one of my friend's i talk to more and then they threatened me and FORCED me to go guidance. (-shudders- oh the memories! -twitches-) anyway.....
so we were discussing and i was basically the one being blamed for everything. they gave me a chance to talk but i didn't. i learned that whenever i explain my side of the story i get blamed, accused, saying i am the main problem, and lashed with harsh words. so therefore i didn't talk. and so the one that hates the whispering said that their twin wanted to get rid of both of my closer friends so i could come to them. (how selfish IMO. -.-+) they had all of these wishes of getting rid of my two closer friends as well as plans. they also attempted this during lunch. (one thing thought about the whispering.....the whispering shoudln't bother any of them. so why should they care? -note: we weren't talking about anyone with the whispering-) it never did before so why now? and so as i sat there silently, glaring at many ppl, and looking like i wasn't listening, i was thinking, how can i ever trust them again? so, i came to a conclusion that i couldn't anymore. only a chosen few i could trust. after the session one of them came up to me and said, "Thanks for making my life a living heck." (They actually said the swear.)
i shoved them away and they came after me. one of my closest friends comes up to them and says, "You know what?! Kiss my ____!"
"I hope you all rot in ____!"
then today at lunch the twin of the one that said "I hope you rot in ____!" said that their dad told her that they couldn't have computer anymore or be friends until everything is cleared up. i didn't say anything, i just glared at her. then they said "My dad says that you have to respect me more. don't take your anger out on me." oh how much i wanted to punch them. then in my mind i thought "WELL YOU AND YOUR SISTER ARE THE MAIN (F WORD) PROBLEM! JUST SHUT THE (H WORD) UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE! GET THAT THROUGH YOUR (D WORD) SKULL!" and so........i didn't really care.

so any ideas on what i should do. and thank you ahead of time.

-looks through post- ACK! WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE SO LONG?! X_x X.x

10-20-2004, 03:54 PM
Well if it's advice to end the fight, hopefully all it needs is somebody to go forward and try to play something of a mediator. Just go up to the ones you "can't trust" and say. "Look this fight is pointless, no matter whose fault it is, we all said things we didn't mean, no matter what your anger is telling you. Let's just try and end it, and even if you are thinking something like i'm backing down because i started it, i don't really mind/care. It's better to end something that is absolutely futile rather than going on pointlessly."

Works for me..

10-20-2004, 04:02 PM
i hope that does work. >.<

some of us suggested that maybe we shouldn't be friends anymore.

but we didn't decide anything yet. i'm going to keep that in mind. and thanks. X_x X.x >.<

(oh great. now i have a headache. >.< CURSE YOU HEADACHE!)

En Svensk Tiger
10-20-2004, 04:17 PM
Just stop whispering. Grouphug might work too..

10-20-2004, 04:19 PM
ah, but the prob is that there are personal comversations that we need to discuss. and the others can't hear it.

not sure about a group hug....

10-20-2004, 04:20 PM
Write notes or something

10-20-2004, 04:21 PM
tried that, but the others tried to grab them. so one of my closer friends litterally ate the note. >.<;

10-20-2004, 04:25 PM

Leo Seta
10-20-2004, 06:47 PM
PUNCH THEM!!! BWAHAHAHAHA! *cough* *splutter* *ahem* yeah kick their sorry butts...

10-20-2004, 06:57 PM
I know what loud lunch rooms can be like, is there anywhere else that you can eat lunch? Or is it possible to eat your lunch and then go somewhere quiet so you can all talk together?
Or maybe you can just make sure if someone is whispering someone is conveying what is being said to anyone who can't hear it.

To be honest, it does sound like it's slightly immature, so your going to have to overcome that. Don't be shy about going right up to your friends (especially since they are your friends) and telling them what you think and what you think you should do about the problem.

10-20-2004, 07:03 PM

10-20-2004, 07:20 PM
it's always a problem but think about it from their point of view.
I used to have two friends from the phillipines and they'd talk in their own language and you never knew what they were saying. the only words you could understand was names...and you'd think the worst if they're talking in their language and you hear your name...

I see where you're coming from but is there anyway that you can have the convos you need without excluding the others??

I really don't htink it's fair to blame you, but everyone looks for a scapegoat.
I think you should all just sit down somewhere and talk it over...EVERYONE.
try and work it out...

10-20-2004, 07:21 PM
You should definitely go somewhere quieter during lunch. I hate lunchrooms. Unfortunately it sounds like some of your friends are extremely paranoid, so you may just have to lay off on talking about anything you wouldn't want the nosy ones to hear.

Leo Seta
10-20-2004, 07:45 PM
hehehe ignore me last comment... I was rather drunk hehehe... *ahem*

Yeah unfortunatly people will always be paranoid when others are whispering and will naturally try to find someone on who to vent their frustration. Confront them and explain everything that has happened and tell them that if they are really your friend they should trust you. Of course if they start moaning again you can always just borrow hitokiri's mechanical pencilhttp://animegalleries.net/bbs/images/smilies/laugh.gif

(edit: I wasn't THAT drunk then... not my fault "r" and "t" are so close togther on the keyboardhttp://animegalleries.net/bbs/images/smilies/tongue.gif)

10-20-2004, 07:55 PM
isn't it HITOKIRI??
and you drunk Leo??? how unusual...

10-20-2004, 07:56 PM
I would ingore them.....unless they punch you....then beat their @$$........but first try to sit down like gentlemen or ladies......and then tell them you want a peaceful ending.......then pull a really good prank on them!.........but thats just me!

10-20-2004, 08:00 PM
Yeah, if you ever need my pencil, it's right here with me!

10-20-2004, 08:06 PM
it's a nasty pencil trust me...

10-20-2004, 09:10 PM
uh huh.....sure....... i'll keep the pencil in mind.

the one that hates the whispering just doesn't trust us. they have this wierd thinking that we are talking about them. to my two closest friends and i, she wants to control everything.

and for what i thought of while listening to music was why should i trust them if they don't trust us?

and like i said, G-U-I-D-A-N-C-E which spells guidance. that is where we discuss it.

and like i said, when ever i explain my side, they accuse me. so therefore i've learned to not talk at all.

and it isn't slightly immature! IT IS WAY IMMATURE!

i also have seen it from their point of view, but that still shouldn't bother them. they whisper also and it doesn't bother me. also they talk just amongst themselves and so it doesn't bother the rest of us. strange, don't you think?

as for laying off talking, i don't talk at lunch at all....or at least.......not much. maybe one word or two. just nodding or shaking my head and that is about it.

i'm not sure if i can ever trust them again. after the things they said and planned, forgiveness at this stage is not an option.

just great....
today at lunch i was sitting next to my friend ::~Angel_of_Death~::. she said i was starting to scare her. i didn't know how, just that i was so quiet and usually i was "full of life". she then started pleading. "Please, just please don't do anything stupid!" i just blinked and said, "Don't worry, I won't...."

you got drunk leo? Oo;

10-20-2004, 09:14 PM
I agree...don't do anything stupid....
you should just forget about them if they're gonna be that way...really they're not worht the pain...

10-20-2004, 09:17 PM
ah, but they won't leave me alone.

one of their parents thought i was on drugs a while back. -__-; which i wasn't.

and don't worry, i'm hanging in there with pieces of myself being torn apart from them.

10-20-2004, 09:19 PM
ah, i see...I had friends like that once...I didn't get any peace till they left the school.
even when i did change my group...

10-20-2004, 09:24 PM
here is a question.....

should i just cut them loose?
i slightly do want to keep it but now at this point....i don't really care anymore.

you have no idea how much i want to yell out.

10-20-2004, 09:28 PM
I think you're better off cutting them loose...for your own sake...
oops gotta go...have to teach...

10-20-2004, 09:31 PM
okay then.

that's probably the better choice....

any other suggestions?

10-20-2004, 09:38 PM
if he's getting pissed off becayse your wispering than he's got problems. you should tell him to his face that he's causing problems just because he's insecure.

10-20-2004, 09:38 PM
If they always accuse you when you try to speak up, you probably shouldn't be friends with em, yeah. Or just be acquaintances... you can still talk to them and all without being close.

10-20-2004, 09:39 PM
-sighs- i guess that could work.....

but they won't give up easily, i can tell you that.

10-20-2004, 09:53 PM
Get another table...and get some new friends!! Ga!! My friends and I managed to survive 3 years at the same table during the same lunch period without any of that kind of pettiness. Maybe we were the exception, but I'd prefer to think it the norm. With friends like that who needs enemies?

10-20-2004, 10:02 PM
sadly, the tables fill up in about 2 minutes. X_x X.x >.<

so we have to sit with them.

::~Angel_of_Death~:: commented on me being really strong a while back. but i'm wondering how much longer i can hold out.

10-20-2004, 10:10 PM
you CAN hold out...at least until you can cut them loose...my friends went through 5 years together before having anyproblems and the parents started that one...
really you don't need them...

10-20-2004, 10:12 PM

i guess i just have to cut them loose then. this will be a heartbreak to most of them.

10-20-2004, 11:24 PM
Here's a great idea:

Detach yourself from society and live in a dark cave high atop a craggy cliff overlooking the sea. Don't ever talk to anyone again either. I guarantee you'll never have social issues again.

10-20-2004, 11:51 PM
Here's a great idea:

Detach yourself from society and live in a dark cave high atop a craggy cliff overlooking the sea. Don't ever talk to anyone again either. I guarantee you'll never have social issues again.
That sounds fun. It has the internet right? That would be sweet, because no one in the area would be lagging up your connection =D

10-20-2004, 11:52 PM
If you want... personally I don't really care

Leo Seta
10-21-2004, 04:30 AM
Running solves nothing rick... although it does sound kinda fun...

There are two ways you can handle this ____:

1.) Settle it quietly. Confront them after school or something and try to explain yourelf. Even if they won't listen, you should at least try... it shows how much of a stronger person you are than them. If they refuse to listen then it gives you full right to do number 2....

2.) Humliate them in the most extrme of social manners. Wait till you're in the lunchroom and wait for them to start on you. Then stand up and let go. Don't give a damn, just scream everything that you' have bottled up inside at them. Oh and include nice evidence to prove you're right. Then when everyone is quiet in the room say something cool like "There are you happy now? Is that better than whispering?" then turn around and walk away. If they don't have it in them to apologise to you after something like that, then they really are scum. Plus evryone will naturally side with you as the victim and they'll get made out to be complete *ahem* for hurting you.
And yes I was drunk... what do you expect? I'm 18 and a uni student. We can drink at 18 here, plus it was sports night at all of the campus clubs and bars...http://animegalleries.net/bbs/images/smilies/wink.gif

10-21-2004, 06:03 AM
*thwaps Leo* Sure, give advice that just going to get ____ in trouble.

I still think that it's better just to cut your losses and dump the losers. There is no reason to continue on like this. You've already wasted 1/4 of the year on it! Why waste the rest.

10-21-2004, 06:23 AM
well... you could always kill yourself ^_^ (i've been watching GTO to much)

seriously i couldnt say what you should do. But whatever you do in a year or 2 things like this will bearly be a memory, so just do whatever you think is best and dont look back.

10-21-2004, 06:52 AM
those sound all good. (it's morning over here. X_x X.x DIE MORNING! DIE!)

i may try 1. for leo's then raye's and leo's 2.

Leo Seta
10-21-2004, 02:56 PM
hahahaha there you go raye, she/he will use no. 2 if ____ has to. Yes it's extreme but extreme times call for extreme measures!http://animegalleries.net/bbs/images/smilies/laugh.gif

10-21-2004, 03:12 PM

leo, you just made me feel a bit better.

i might as well use it if i have to. i think i'll just "explode" in the guidance councelor session with my friends. >.<

Leo Seta
10-21-2004, 04:13 PM
Glad I could help ____!

Exploding is fun... just make sure no small children are near by... they're likely to start crying and stuff and then they jusyt get annoying...http://animegalleries.net/bbs/images/smilies/laugh.gif

10-21-2004, 05:54 PM
kids aren't that annoying...

_____ I think explodinbg in the guidance would be a good idea....hehe

BTW Leo, I know the drinking age is 18 there....it's the same here...besides all uni students do here is get majorly drunk...the music faculty is the worst in the whole uni YAY!!! even our lecturers get drunk with us...*sighs*
the memories, or should I say the lack of them...
You'd love out annual WO tour...one whole week of getting drunk everynight and trying to tech kiddies hung over during the days...

10-21-2004, 07:20 PM
well there probably is going to be some crying. i'm just waiting for the right moment now. X_x X.x

10-21-2004, 08:12 PM
yeah...that's the best thing to do....
and try not to feel too guilty if they do because really it's their own fault...

10-21-2004, 08:34 PM
thanks elven. i'll try to keep that in mind. X_x X.x

10-21-2004, 09:05 PM
always happy to help
*bows with wings stuck up in the air*

10-21-2004, 10:36 PM
i think my "explosion" is going to happen on monday.

wish me luck. -mumbles- i'm going to need it.....

X_x X.x >.<

and thank you a lot everyone! X_x X.x >.<

10-22-2004, 04:00 AM
hey no prob...plan it well and shock the pants off them...
*cringes at image*

10-22-2004, 06:44 AM
oh god, i'm having images flowing through my mind. this isn't going to be pretty.......

make sure you are at least one mile away from me. X_x X.x >.<

10-22-2004, 06:45 AM
oh...I'm in another country, but i may leave the planet just in case...

10-22-2004, 06:47 AM
eh heh heh.........

yeah, that would be wise. i'll let you know how it goes. i hope i survive. >.<

11-20-2004, 03:58 PM
I know that this topic is old but I know what your going through. My friends forced me to go to go to the teacher to help sort out a problem. I'll tell you this much I HATED IT! My "friends" were changing the entire story. It went from this is our problem can you help us fix it? to he said she said so you aren't talking to us. You know that kinda thing. I was so mad afterword I kicked my locker and dented the door and that isn't the least of it. During swim team I must have done 200 laps at a very fast pace. That sorta calmed me down.

But what I'm trying to say is that it's hard going through somthing like that. Here's my advice cool down for a month or two and go and talk to them all of them not just one or two people let them explain their side of the story no interuptions and then you explain your side of the story no interuptions. The whole thing probally started out as an argument and went to a big misunderstanding. When you come to the point of the argument thingy forgive everyone and forget that the whole thing ever happened. Don't bring it up at all no matter what. Then you can go back to being friends. The first step to repair a misunderstanding friendship thingy like that is to trust the people who care about you.
Whoa that's long. PM me about what happens. I hope that we can become online friends.

09-01-2005, 06:50 PM
I know that this topic is old... very old, practly ancient. Here are some ideas...

Maybe you could work somthing out. Like you won't discuss certain topics.
Maybe they are having a day/week/month, you get the picture.
One might be more mature than the other.
They just don't get along.
You could avoid each other but still use mannars. Noone likes the cold shoulder. Had/has I don't know at this point. Who did this and they didn't even tell you why.

Well hopefully things have worked out now... please I would like to know so pm me.

09-01-2005, 07:25 PM
Yeah, if you ever need my pencil, it's right here with me!WTHAT THE [removed] did that mean!!! Anyway... I had this problem... Me and my bff fought at least five times a day and we called them 'our special little fights' We fought on and on... it got so bad we stopped talking for a month and we I said we should write nothes to each other about what we dislike about each other so we could stop it. It worked and now we never fight... except maybe over guys... ^_^" heh... ANyway... I suggest you try that.... Have them all write notes to each other and you....

09-01-2005, 07:28 PM
What if the person dosn't have any contact info like locker # for slipping notes, e-mail adress, etc.

09-04-2005, 06:29 PM
the best advice i can give is just stay away from each other for a while and cool off

10-21-2005, 03:26 PM
I kind of had the same problem. We avoid each other. And I know haw your frends feel. If they could go back in time I bet you 100% the would. If only I could talk to them again just hear their voice....