View Full Version : pour your...Comedy?

10-16-2004, 11:19 PM
Give me your best Joke, and rate the other people's jokes:ooh:

10-16-2004, 11:21 PM
I would post all my favourite jokes, but all of them are highly offensive and would get me banned from this board, and i don't wanna get banned after 4 years of being here.

10-16-2004, 11:24 PM
i got a great one but its offensive to most people, so like SGI i dont think i'll post it

10-16-2004, 11:26 PM

Same here....

10-17-2004, 01:17 AM

Have at ye, pointless humor!

10-17-2004, 03:44 AM
Ooh, opportunity!

There's a man who uses the name "Rocky" here in town (He owns a roofing business and looks -just- like Sylvester Stallone). Bit of an oddball.
Anyway, this man compiled a book of jokes called, "Rocky's Private Jokes." I have a signed copy. Let me tell you, these are the WORST jokes you have ever heard. They're like...okay, until you realize there isn't a punchline where there should be.

Some examples:
"Two friends talk:
A cashier is wanted in our company.
Why? It was only last week you hired one.
I know. That is the one who is wanted."

"Adam was courting Eve:
Oh, Miss, has anyone ever told you that you are very smart?
Oh, men, they are all the same, was her reply."

"The most exciting film I ever made, said one actor, was the one in which we wondered to the very end if the producer was going to make enough on it to pay us."

"A customer walks in to a 24 hour drugstore and asks, 'Can I have a little strychnine for my Mother-in-law?'
'Have you a prescription,' asked the pharmacist?
'No, I haven't, he replied, but I would be glad to show you her picture.'"

There you have it! Weren't they funny? XD

Oh, and I copied them directly from the book, as I think they're made all the funnier with grammar errors.

11-25-2004, 06:06 PM
Most of my favorite jokes are pretty offensive, too...
So why don't you check out this site or something?

Kittie Pryde
11-26-2004, 12:26 AM
Most of my favorite jokes are pretty offensive, too...
So why don't you check out this site or something?
i love that place!! it is rad max core! :D

11-26-2004, 12:33 AM
Dont know any,too korney....

EDIT:ok forget it....just went there....doesnt work for me.....and for saftey precautions...i erased it....didnt work and coulda had something bad..... ;)

11-26-2004, 01:54 AM
Mommy, Mommy! I don't want hamburgers for supper!
Shut up or I'll grind your other hand.

Mommy, Mommy! Can I wear a bra now? I'm 16..
Shut up, Albert....

Mommy, Mommy! I HATE spaghetti!
Shut up or I'll pull the veins out of your other arm.

These two starving bums are walking through an alley when one of them sees a dead cat. He runs over, sits down and starts to eat the cat, tearing the meat from its limbs. The says to the other bum, "Hey, I know you're hungry, too. Why don't you eat some of this cat?"

"Hell no!!!" replies the second bum, "That cat's been dead for days, he's all stiff and cold and smelly!"

The first bum says, "Okay, suit yourself," and continues to eat everything, skin, muscle, guts, all but the skeleton.

A few hours later as they are walking down the street the first bum says, "Oh, I don't feel so good. I think there might have been something wrong with that cat."

And just then, he pukes up a huge puddle of rotten cat flesh and guts with stomach bile mixed in, all half digested and looking like mush.

The second bum sits down next to the puddle and says, "Now you're talkin'! It's been months since I had a WARM meal!!!"

11-26-2004, 10:33 PM
most of my jokes are dirty.....
ok well here's a riddle...what's as big as an elephant but weighs absolutely nothing!!???........an elephant's shadow!!!.....lmao!!
Ok I used to have a parrot....but it died on me.....it never learned to say "I'm hungry"...!!!!....hahahaha......*nobody laughs*.......leave me alone...:(

11-26-2004, 10:42 PM
www.joecartoon.com has some funny stuff. Especially the gerbil. WARNING: Lots of cussing and dirty jokes. One I would recommend which is funny: Joe Momma

11-27-2004, 01:03 AM
go to this website>>>>>>>> *WARNING 18+ JOKES* (but who cares??) www.jokemonger.com (http://www.jokemonger.com)

11-27-2004, 05:08 AM
Nevermind x.x

I'll come up with another one

11-27-2004, 05:11 AM

What do you mean to say by that?

11-27-2004, 01:58 PM
a joke too offend people?

I know some IRAQ jokes... my Dads supplys me >_>"