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Grain
09-20-2014, 11:46 AM
The stanza with カタチ was the hardest. I'm not 100% sure who or what is doing the transforming. I think it's the feelings. It's not the form, is it? I think the meaning of the lyrics is something like, "Maybe you'll be transformed into the amazing person you discovered inside yourself back when you had no idea what you were doing with your life." It might be, "Maybe you'll transform me into the one in a million form," but I don't think that matches the rest of the song.

I wonder if I should translate 幾重に舞う光 as "stacks of dancing lights." Or maybe, "lights dancing in layers?" "Ever dancing lights?" I like the current translation best, though.

どれほど夢に触れている?
目指したモノがある
この手は何を求めてる?
確かなモノを探して

How much do dreams inspire you?
You have your eye on something
Just what are you hunting for, going about like this?
Search for something that's undeniable

踏み出したら そこに
君を待っている
幾筋もの光が

When you step out there
You'll find countless rays of light
Waiting for you

大空も この大地も
全て身体に吸い込め
止まる事ない明日を
追い越して 君は強くなれる

Suck up every bit of the sky and the earth
Straight into your body
You can get stronger
Moving ahead of the tomorrows that never stop coming

涙に濡れて躊躇うな
想いを曝け出せ
過ぎ去る時を見つめるな
記憶の中に凍らせ

Don't dither and soak yourself in tears
Expose all your feelings
Don't fix your eyes on fleeting moments
Freeze them in your memory

振り上げたら いつか
掴み取れるだろう
幾重に舞う光が

Someday, if you throw up your hands
Maybe you'll be able to grab hold of
Those lights dancing on top of themselves

貫いたその想いを
全てすぐに解き放て
終わる事ない時を
飛び越えて 君は強くなれる

Take those feelings you've been faithful to and
Set them all free this instant
You can get stronger
Leaping past the moments that never end

手探り戸惑いながら
見つけ出した無二のカタチは Oh
今日の君も変えてくれるだろう
眩しく輝くのさ Ah

Maybe they'll transform the regular old you
Into that one in a million form you discovered, oh
While you were fumbling around in the dark
You'll shine brilliantly, ah

踏み出したら そこに
君を待っている
幾筋もの光が

When you step out there
You'll find countless rays of light
Waiting for you

Hunting for your...

Hunting for your...

大空も この大地も
全て身体に吸い込め
止まる事ない明日を
追い越して 君は強くなれる

Suck up every bit of the sky and the earth
Straight into your body
You can get stronger
Moving ahead of the tomorrows that never stop coming

貫いたその想いならば
全てすぐに解き放て
終わる事ない時など
飛び越えて 君は強くなれる

If you've been faithful to your feelings
Set them all free this instant
You can get stronger
Leaping past the moments, and other things that never end

Hunting for your dream!

Hunting for your dream!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6FhmyWT-_0U

bluepenguin
09-24-2014, 07:35 PM
>Just what are you hunting for, going about like this?

The "going about like this" seems like an unneccessary addition to the line to me--there's nothing in the original line that it would convey that isn't adequately conveyed by the "what are you hunting for" part.

>The stanza with カタチ was the hardest. I'm not 100% sure who or what is doing the transforming. I think it's the feelings. It's not the form, is it?

No, the form is definitely what the "you" is being transformed into. The feelings from the previous stanza being the agent here is the only thing that seems to make sense, but you're right, it's pretty ambiguous. I think how you have it is fine, but if you're really unsure you could always just put it in the passive voice ("maybe you'll be transformed...").

>I wonder if I should translate 幾重に舞う光 as "stacks of dancing lights." Or maybe, "lights dancing in layers?" "Ever dancing lights?"

I think the current translation works. I admit I find it very tempting to read it as if it were "幾重にも" but I've never actually seen も get dropped while に is left in a construction like that, so that's probably not the case.

Grain
09-25-2014, 11:10 AM
>The "going about like this" seems like an unneccessary addition to the line to me--there's nothing in the original line that it would convey that isn't adequately conveyed by the "what are you hunting for" part.

I'll do that.

>I think how you have it is fine, but if you're really unsure you could always just put it in the passive voice ("maybe you'll be transformed...").

I experimented with the passive conjugation, but I like it better active. I think it's fine as it is now.

>I admit I find it very tempting to read it as if it were "幾重にも" but I've never actually seen も get dropped while に is left in a construction like that, so that's probably not the case.

I thought the same thing!