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View Full Version : Help with Confession~Nectar Medicine Language~ by Yura Hatsuki



Grain
08-23-2014, 11:38 PM
Um, yeah, this song was harder than Twinkle Trick. The hardest stanza for me was definitely the fleshy fruit one. In the end I decided to read it as 「流す少女の胸に滴る実は、涙が欲望の果肉を甘く潤す」.

The title of the song is "confession~蜜薬ランがージュ~," which I guess is supposed to be "Confession~Honey Medicine Language~."

"Breath of honey" sounds weird, but I don't know how else to translate 蜜の息. According to Google it is a real English phrase, just one I've never heard before.


人知れず疼く傷を抱えて 我が身を反らし問う熱に
貴方の眼差しだけが
終焉 (おわり) を告げる事が出来るの
Bearing hidden throbbing wounds,
Only your gaze can inform me of my demise,
Bending me into a delirium of questions.

悔い改めるよりも
其の声に触れたい
「神に仕えし聖なる黒衣(こくい)を
   私に授けどうか罰を...」
I want to feel your voice more than I want to repent.
"Serving god, would you be so kind
As to grant me holy black clothes?
Or, grant me punishment?"

清らかで在るなら在る程に
I want to see my figure

闇二染マル姿(やみにそまるすがた) 見テミタイワ
Pure as possible, soaked in darkness.

涙、流し 赦し乞う、私
罪を悔やむ言葉だけが
届くのでしょう
Shedding tears, I beg for forgiveness.
I wonder if just these words of repentance for my sin
Will be heard.

寂しさの余りに我を忘れ 悪魔が此の身を操る
どうぞ助けて下さい
誰かの命を奪う前に
Forgetting myself in overwhelming loneliness, a demon takes control of my body.
Would you be so kind as to rescue me
Before I steal someone's life?

涙、流す少女の 胸に滴る実(み)は 甘く潤す欲望の果肉
共に堕ちてくださいますか?
Tears sweetly moisten the flesh of the fruit of desire
That drops onto the chests of weeping young ladies.
Might I please fall with them?

純潔に染まれば染まる程 黒に魅せられるの 壊れるまで
蜜の息に毒を含ませて
罪を嘆く声にそっと 仕掛けましょう
Soaked in purity as much as possible,
I'm entranced by the blackness to the point that I break down.
Let's saturate the breath of honey with poison,
And quietly begin to bemoan our sin.

正義は曖昧なの
未来さえも見えないもの
何が正しいなんて
誰が決めるのかしら
Justice is ambiguous.
As long as the future cannot be seen.
Oh, how I wonder who can decide
What is right!

清らかで在るなら在る程に
I want to see my figure

闇二染マル姿 見テミタイワ
Pure as possible, soaked in darkness.

涙、流し 赦し乞う、貴方
嗚咽が響き狂気を揺さぶるなら
If your sobbing resounds and stirs madness,
Shedding tears, you will beg for forgiveness.

純潔に染まれば染まる程 黒に魅せられるの 壊れるまで
蜜の息に毒を含ませて
罪を嘆く声にそっと 仕掛けましょう
Soaked in purity as much as possible,
I'm entranced by the blackness to the point that I break down.
Let's saturate the breath of honey with poison,
And quietly begin to bemoan our sin.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7En1I7Dsgnk

bluepenguin
08-26-2014, 10:59 AM
Oof, this one is tough! I took a quick look at it, but hopefully someone will come along who has a chance to look at it more in-depth.

>"Breath of honey" sounds weird, but I don't know how else to translate 蜜の息.

I don't think there is a better way, unless you want to go with "honey breath."

>Bearing hidden throbbing wounds,
>Only your gaze can inform me of my demise,

I'm going to be a horrible nitpicker for a moment and note that this construction implies that it's "you"/"your gaze" bearing the hidden throbbing wounds, so I suggest rewording it to make it clear that the first line refers to the singer.

>正義は曖昧なの
>未来さえも見えないもの
>Justice is ambiguous.
>As long as the future cannot be seen.

I don't often say this--the opposite problem is more common--but I don't think these two lines are as connected as your translation has them. There's nothing grammatically to imply that the ambiguity of justice is because of the future being unseen, so I would read it more like "Justice is ambiguous, and I can't even see a future."

I stared at the fleshy fruit stanza for a while trying to make it make sense, and I'm still not sure I understand it, but your interpretation seems like it works pretty well.

Grain
08-26-2014, 08:37 PM
I just asked a Japanese person about the fleshy fruit stanza, and he said it was difficult for him too. He says that my interpretation is okay.

bluepenguin
08-28-2014, 11:58 AM
Well, if even a native speaker has trouble with it, I feel better about being confused myself, haha.