View Full Version : Air - Tori no Uta (Bird's Poem) WIP need help

01-10-2014, 07:22 PM
Dear Admins, I submitted the first post because I dont want to lose all my work here when my browser crashs, sorry for the inconvenience. This one is a rather complete one. Edit: Found out there is a Lyric Discussions for incomplete work, so posting here instead.

-First, the song name should be "Bird's Poem", 詩 means poem, song is 歌 in Japanese.-
EDIT: found out Uta means song.
Chinese lyrics from the vidio and www.keyfc.net/bbs/showtopic-30478.aspx (http://www.keyfc.net/bbs/showtopic-30478.aspx)
Might help if you know Chinese.
I don't know Japanese but I know Chinese so I know the meaning of the 漢字 in Japanese. I use 3 machine translate and a JP dictionary, baidu gave me some good translation as people contribute when using it.

I only list lines needed to be revised, full srt with time stamp attached below.
? means the original translation
` means the revised one
OR means two explaintions
() means words inside maybe can be omitted
* means lines need help

*2 眩しくて逃げた いつだって弱くて mabushikute nigeta itsudatte yowakute

?They were so dazzling, I ran away- I was always weakMy understanding
眩しくて dazzling, 逃げた escaped, いつ even, だって because, 弱く weak, て the
いつだって I always
At the end, dont know what the line is talking about, Need help
?因耀眼而避開了 不知何時(有)的脆弱

3 あの日から変わらず ano hi kara kawarazu

?I let go, frustrated by the fact
`Unchanged since that day日 is day, 変 is change
Even it is for transliteration sake, it can be done better

4 いつまでも変わらずにいられなかったこと itsumademo kawarazu ni irarenakatta koto

?That I couldn't stay unchanged since that dayFor transliteration sake again.

`(There is)No such thing as not changing (forever)?但絕不會有永恆不變這一回事/永恆不變的事不可以存在

5 悔しくて指を離す kuyashikute yubi wo hanasu

?Couldn't stay unchanged foreverWhile 悔 literally means regret, 悔しくて is frustration in google trans

`Frustrated but have to let go?所以我後悔地放手了
`雖然無奈 但還是放手了

*7 いつかは風を切って知る itsuka wa kaze wo kitte shiru

?But someday she will know the feeling of cutting through the wind
`Eventually (it) will know how to fly (through/against//with/by) windnot sure は風を切って means fly against the wind or not, seems is "against" to me because 切 means cut. Need help

8 届かない場所がまだ遠くにある todokanai basho ga mada tooku ni aru

?The place she can't reach is still there in the distance
`The place (she/I) can't reach is still far awayThe she/I seems can be omitted to me, not native English though.

*9 願いだけ秘めて見つめてる negai dake himete mitsumeteru

?She gazes at it, keeping her wish to herself
`The(My) only wish is to secretly gaze at you願い wish, だけ only, 秘め secertly/hidden, て見つめ gaze, てる you
Seems make a lot more scene to me. Not too sure though.

11 吹く風に素足をさらして fuku kaze ni suashi wo sarashite

?Exposing their bare feet to the blowing windNot sure if they are intenionally Exposing their bare feet OR it is merely describing wind blow (through?) their feet

`Exposing bare feet to the blowing wind OR Wind blow (throught) to (their) explosed bare feet(s)`流風輕撫著(他們的)赤腳

12 遠くには幼かった日々を tooku ni wa osanakatta hibi wo

?We place in the distance the days of our childhood
`Childhood fade away day by day?送走了遙遠的孩童時光/兒時的點點滴滴漸漸遠去

13 両手には飛び立つ希望を ryoute ni wa tobidatsu kibou wo

?We place in our hands hope that springs forth
`(Like) hope fly away form our handsReferring hope as their childhood, leaking away (literally fly away)
?兩手懷抱的希望也隨風而去/而將要實現的夢 就在手裹

15 この丘を越えたあの日から変わらずいつまでも kono oka wo koeta ano hi kara kawarazu itsumademo

?It hasn't changed since the day we crossed that hill, and never willHaven't watch it yet so dont know whether we or I flew over the hill but since only one can fly so I believe it whould be I.

`(I) Never changed since the day (I) flew over the hill OR Since the day I flew over the hill, (I) never changed`從越過這山丘的那一日後就始終不變

16 真っ直ぐに僕たちはあるように massugu ni bokutachi wa aru youni

?So that we will always have it,
`Just like usrefering we never changed

*17 海神のような強さを守れるよ きっとwatatsumi no youna tsuyosa wo mamoreru yo kitto

?We'll guard the strength of a sea god, surelyきっとI'm sure/surely, 守れるよ protect(keep?), ような just like, 強さを stregth, 海神sea-god

`(I) will surely keep/protect it with/just like/of the stregth of the sea-god OR (I) will surely keep/protect the stregth of the sea-godFirst one make a little bit more sense to me
(redering to protect themselves from changing)
`以像海神般的力量守護著 OR 守護著像海神般的力量

20 届かない場所をずっと見つめてる todokanai basho wo zutto mitsumeteru

?The dream of a bird, her wish kept to herself,transliteration again

`(I'm) Staring at the place (I) can't reach`一直凝視著到達不了遙遠的地方

*21 願いを秘めた鳥の夢を negai wo himeta tori no yume wo

?Gazing at the place she can't reach
`The hidden wish of the bird (noun) OR The bird hid the wish (SVO) OR I hide bird's wish ?願你實現小鳥那深藏的夢/只能將小鳥的夢想藏在心
Need help

22 振り返る灼けた線路 覆う furikaeru yaketa senro oou

?I look back: the sun-baked railway tracks are hidden
`Look back the railway heated by the sun, coverd/hidden`回頭看/回顧那灼熱的鐵軌

*23 入道雲 形を変えても nyuudougumo katachi wo kaetemo

?By stormclouds- even if they change their shape,?即使籠罩它的積(雨)雲改頭換面

24 僕らは覚えていて どうか bokura wa oboete ite douka

?May we always remember`但希望我們仍然記得/我們依然能記得

25 季節が残した昨日を kisetsu ga nokoshita kinou wo

?The yesterdays left behind by the seasons...?季節所殘留的昨日


*27 早すぎる合図 ふたり笑い出してるいつまでも hayasugiru aizu futari waraidashiteru itsumademo

?The signal is given too early- we start laughing`總是為了太早打出的暗號而彼此大笑/太早打的暗號使兩人相視而笑

28 真っ直ぐに眼差しはあるように massugu ni manazashi wa aru youni

?So that we can always look straight ahead,?就像愣直的眼神般

27 and 28 seems not

汗が滲んでも手を離さないよ ずっと
ase ga nijindemo te wo hanasanai yo zutto
`Even if it's slippery with sweat, I won't let go of your hand, ever
`就算汗浸濕了手也不鬆開 一直緊握著/一直緊握著 就算汗浸濕了也不鬆開的手

Note to self/Further reading

Full song with 4 dialect English Lyrics w/Romaji 中字 漢字8181181811

Attachment with time stamp.