The three most important factors in a relationship <3

[Explorer Oak]

What i believe to be the three most important factors in a relationship, and why.

~Communication~

- One must struggle to express every little detail:
- Likes
- Dislikes
- Wants
- Needs
- Boundries

~Honesty~

- Without honesty, there are missunderstandings. Which will lead to grudges, secrets, hurt feelings, and eventualy fights.

- Be honest about your honesty, nobody is perfect and everybody is bound to lie to eachother at one point. Admit to eachother that you have lied to them but are working to be as honest with them as possible.

~Trust~

- It doesn't matter how honest the other person is, if they don't trust your words then everything else will fall apart.

~Why these three go hand in hand~

Alot of common problems can be solved with communication. But for this to work it's magic *both partners must trust each other and be honest, even when it's not pretty.*

Through communication you can find out a great many things about eachother:

-Perhaps the two of you cause more harm to eachother than good. At this point, you might want to consider you both arn't suited for eachother and it would best to move on.*

-Maybe you'll find that the both of you may experience bumps down the road, and are willing to sacrafice and work hard for the sake of the relationship.*

-Or maybe you'll both be compatible enough *to the point of being soul mates, it happens.

Why this doesn't work for everyone: Most people arn't mature enough, or choose not to put effort into these important factors that can keep relationships strong. If this is the case, either you are not ready for a relationship, or the other person is not important enough to you to go the extra mile.

However, this does not go without saying that good communication is very hard to achieve. But even the slightest effort can wield wonders. Give a try, sit down with that one person in your life who you might have problems with, and express you want to get things out in the open.

-Jesse, AKA Explorer Oak.

[aether]

I 100% agree with this

[Vintniv]

A, this belongs in a blog.
B, all 3 of those things be wrong depending on the relationship.
B-1, Communication, not always important, sometimes it is important to keep your mouth shut for your partner and you dont always need to communicate with them for them to know that you love them. Being overly detailed and trying to pry every single like/dislike/boundary from a partner is invasive, and unnecessary.
B-2, Honesty, again probably not something you always want to do. Its a nice sentiment, but telling your partner the honest truth on the grounds that their cooking is bad, or you feel you should be with someone else probably isnt the best train of thought to use. Lying to keep a partner happy is a small sacrifice and is necessary.
B-3, Trust, you should have just merged this with honesty. You cant trust EVERYONE, ALL THE TIME. You'll be run over and burned when that trust breaks. Hope for the best, plan for the worst; people are fallible, you need to prepare for that. Trust them as much as you like, but stuff is going to happen and most of the worst stuff that will happen is stuff they just might lie about, so...

All relationships are VASTLY different, dont be so linear.

[Rylingo]

I'd say:

Attraction: Both mental and physical are important.
Common goals: More important later in the relationship.
Communication: This doesn't mean you have to communicate all the time. It means when you need to communicate, you do.

[Explorer Oak]

A, this belongs in a blog.
B, all 3 of those things be wrong depending on the relationship.
B-1, Communication, not always important, sometimes it is important to keep your mouth shut for your partner and you dont always need to communicate with them for them to know that you love them. Being overly detailed and trying to pry every single like/dislike/boundary from a partner is invasive, and unnecessary.
B-2, Honesty, again probably not something you always want to do. Its a nice sentiment, but telling your partner the honest truth on the grounds that their cooking is bad, or you feel you should be with someone else probably isnt the best train of thought to use. Lying to keep a partner happy is a small sacrifice and is necessary.
B-3, Trust, you should have just merged this with honesty. You cant trust EVERYONE, ALL THE TIME. You'll be run over and burned when that trust breaks. Hope for the best, plan for the worst; people are fallible, you need to prepare for that. Trust them as much as you like, but stuff is going to happen and most of the worst stuff that will happen is stuff they just might lie about, so...

All relationships are VASTLY different, dont be so linear.

There's nothing linear about it, it's simply my opinion. And if you cannot handle the truth from your partner, you're just not mature enough to handle the truth. I mentioned that maturity is required for these three to work there wonders, not ignorant blissfull infatuation. Grow up. ;]

[Vintniv]

There's nothing linear about it, it's simply my opinion. And if you cannot handle the truth from your partner, you're just not mature enough to handle the truth. I mentioned that maturity is required for these three to work there wonders, not ignorant blissfull infatuation. Grow up. ;]

Kid, you dont seem to have read what I was saying. Unless you somehow, somewhere, meet a super model who loves all the things you do, then you are going to have to make sacrifices to make the relationship work. Assuming you want to make it work at all. Great way of telling me to be more 'mature' while ending your post by saying 'grow up' in a childish mean spirited way; really shows how mature you are.

Let me give you some scenarios in which lying is going to be important. Your lovely whoever makes you dinner, it tastes terrible, BUT, are you going to tell her that and break her spirit? No, you're going to suck up your pride and tell her it was good. You go on vacation with your love, and you're sick the whole time in Florida; its hot, humid, loud, and there's mosquitoes everywhere, BUT, she planned this trip just for the both of you. Are you going to tell her you're having a terrible time and ruin any future adventures? NO, YOU ARE GOING TO LIE TO KEEP HER HAPPY. That's how the world works, you sacrifice your own personal happiness for someone else to be happy BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT IT IS LIKE TO BE IN LOVE.

Stop being so ignorant of what people are trying to tell you.

[Haoie]

You'd make a fine self help pamphlet.

[Explorer Oak]

Kid, you dont seem to have read what I was saying. Unless you somehow, somewhere, meet a super model who loves all the things you do, then you are going to have to make sacrifices to make the relationship work. Assuming you want to make it work at all. Great way of telling me to be more 'mature' while ending your post by saying 'grow up' in a childish mean spirited way; really shows how mature you are.

Let me give you some scenarios in which lying is going to be important. Your lovely whoever makes you dinner, it tastes terrible, BUT, are you going to tell her that and break her spirit? No, you're going to suck up your pride and tell her it was good. You go on vacation with your love, and you're sick the whole time in Florida; its hot, humid, loud, and there's mosquitoes everywhere, BUT, she planned this trip just for the both of you. Are you going to tell her you're having a terrible time and ruin any future adventures? NO, YOU ARE GOING TO LIE TO KEEP HER HAPPY. That's how the world works, you sacrifice your own personal happiness for someone else to be happy BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT IT IS LIKE TO BE IN LOVE.

Stop being so ignorant of what people are trying to tell you.

But i do understand what you are trying to say, don't get me wrong. And i'm aware that's how it's been done for generations, and sure, it works. I know all of this. All i'm suggesting is that there is a better way, much better. You yourself are assuming that i expect said significant other to be a "super model", this is not true. And please, childish? Mean spirited? Haha, if you say so. ;]

Anyways, as for your examples. Sure! I can understand these situations and why you wouldn't want to ruin your partners spirit. But, there other ways of handling it; "Babe, if it was anybody else that took me on this godforsaken trip, i'd have tied them up and left them in the swamps long ago". A little humor with your critisism wil take the edge off, and still get your point across. Wouldn't you want to knowif somthing you did made your partner unhappy? If your cooking taste terrible wouldn't you want them to say somthing so that could improve and make them even more happy? Don't think of it from a self-centered perspective, please, because that's not the point.

Anything else?

[Wio]

There are times to remain tactful, but if someone is going to be doing something repeatedly, like cooking, then you definitely should speak up.

[artimiss]

1. Trust 2. Attraction 3. Maturity are my top three.

[Xeyuzio]

I think the most important factors are that they have money or look attractive.

[Vintniv]

But i do understand what you are trying to say, don't get me wrong. And i'm aware that's how it's been done for generations, and sure, it works. I know all of this. All i'm suggesting is that there is a better way, much better. You yourself are assuming that i expect said significant other to be a "super model", this is not true. And please, childish? Mean spirited? Haha, if you say so. ;]

Anyways, as for your examples. Sure! I can understand these situations and why you wouldn't want to ruin your partners spirit. But, there other ways of handling it; "Babe, if it was anybody else that took me on this godforsaken trip, i'd have tied them up and left them in the swamps long ago". A little humor with your critisism wil take the edge off, and still get your point across. Wouldn't you want to knowif somthing you did made your partner unhappy? If your cooking taste terrible wouldn't you want them to say somthing so that could improve and make them even more happy? Don't think of it from a self-centered perspective, please, because that's not the point.

Anything else?

Kid, look, what I said was based on experience, not perception. People are real, and they will really do things to you that can ruin your life. Love can be one of the most savage killers of ideals and morals, and I'm trying to offer you my own simple advice as part of rejection of your 'factors' which I find faulty and naive. If you want to blissfully go through out life thinking everyone's honest, then you go at your own peril; also, I have a bridge I would like to sell you if you do.

To read what I said and out right reject it is a serious mistake on your part. Love doesnt have a criteria, it doesnt have a list, it has no parameters and certainly doesnt care what you think it is.

[artimiss]

I think the most important factors are that they have money or look attractive.
looks yes, money yes, but would you base your relationship soley on those two things?

[International 4-8818]

Honesty, communication, and respect for each other. I can't stress how important these are in a healthy relationship.

[Explorer Oak]

Kid, look, what I said was based on experience, not perception. People are real, and they will really do things to you that can ruin your life. Love can be one of the most savage killers of ideals and morals, and I'm trying to offer you my own simple advice as part of rejection of your 'factors' which I find faulty and naive. If you want to blissfully go through out life thinking everyone's honest, then you go at your own peril; also, I have a bridge I would like to sell you if you do.

To read what I said and out right reject it is a serious mistake on your part. Love doesnt have a criteria, it doesnt have a list, it has no parameters and certainly doesnt care what you think it is.

I've already acknowledged the point your trying to get across, and by no means am i being ignorant. You're assuming still after i've already made myself perfectly clear. There's no point in continuing this discution, but i'll just say it's been a pleasure experiencing your competing opinion. Goodbye. :]

[Xeyuzio]

looks yes, money yes, but would you base your relationship soley on those two things?

I wasn't even serious about my response, kinda.

[Mystelinth]

Money.

Who needs to talk anyway.

[Hanamaru Kunikida]

Ass and tits is all that's needed.
lol


-Or maybe you'll both be compatible enough *to the point of being soul mates, it happens.

*to the point of being soul mates, it happens.

soul mates

http://www.animeforum.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=77268&d=1372025877

Soul Mates =/= Making it work. And I don't need to go paragraph mode to tell you this.

Don't get caught up into this stuff too much, otherwise you will be disappointed. I been in a 5 year healthy relationship not because we are soulmates but because WE MAKE IT WORK. Dique Soul Mates.
______________

Was gonna try to address another point but everything else got covered.

[Movie Dave]

While many factors are important you can't round up on JUST 3. You need to think and know that relationships are different with each person. so these 3 are totally different with each person and situation.