only attracted to anime boys [Archive]

Rylingo

06-24-2013, 06:30 PM

yep. pretty much what the title says.
i don't even really know why, i've only found 1 real guy attractive in about 2 years, yet i've had loads of anime crushes.

I've heard this said a few times and I find it an interesting topic. I really do. I've never had an anime crush. I don't really have a character crush in any show.

it kinda sucks because all of the guys who are physically attractive end up having terrible personalities, they are unintelligent and crude.

I don't know if your profile picture is you or someone else. I'll make a guess that it is although you should feel free to point out I'm wrong. I can't tell your age. Partially because your face is hidden, part because it's something I'm terrible at. I've made age estimations 15 years off on people before. Lets just say there's a 30 year girl out there who doesn't like me! I estimate you are in your late teens. The personalities you are seeing are for show. I should know! I was a teenage boy. I pretended to be crude and unintelligent just to fit in. It's not easy trying to have friends in school. I tried my best and lost some of myself in the process. What I'm saying is the boys you are looking at are probably not as bad as you think they are. They are putting up a front and once you see beneath it, then the view may not be quite so depressing.

it's not like i really expect some perfect guy inside and out to waltz into my life because, i know i'm not anywhere near perfect myself.
it just makes me sad sometimes that i can't experience any attraction to boys unless they're... 2d, out of my reach, no way i could actually get to know them because THEY'RE NOT REAL lol.

Perfect boys are boring. Perfect girls are boring. Maybe I'm a mirror opposite to you but I find perfection disgusting. A perfectly amusing charming girl in any medium bores me. I want flaws, I want a history that can't be covered by any book or show. I want something with grains, wrinkles and issues. In short, I want a person, not an ideal.

i think i've started to determine lately that it might be because with real human beings, you never know whether to trust them or not. i think anime boys seem trustworthy because their thoughts are all narrated and you know when he tells the female character "i love you", he's not lying to get in her pants because you watched his deep monologue with himself about whether or not to confess to her the night before.

idk. just my thoughts. little bit of ranting. anyone relate?

Interesting. You worry that guys are using emotions to buy sex. It's a rather common situation. I've heard people Yoda that thought and state that some people use sex to buy emotions. Either way, I think we can all agree that neither are any good.
You want a guy who means it when he says, "I love you". Then hold back sex. Hold it back for a year. You think a guy who really wants to get in your pants will really pretend to love you for a year? There's easier prey out there sister.
Have you ever considered what happens when the show finishes? Every person falls in love on average 3 times in their life(or so I've been told). How do you feel about that?
In real life you can never hear another narration but even the narration itself is a lie. Someone saying "I love you" in a show and believing it does not necessarily make it so. Look at the Great Gatsby. Gatsby says he loves Daisy. He believes he loves Daisy more than anything. But is it true?

May I ask if you've had problems in the past with boys? I can try and offer insight if you wish. It's a rather personal question so feel free to wave it away.

Guys, girls, we are all human. The opposite sex is not something mystical. It's barely any different in the grand scheme of things.
Also thumbs up for a drunken post!

Vintniv

06-24-2013, 06:46 PM

You know they make anime boys like that for a reason, so you will be attracted to them and watch the show; the same principle is true of anime girls. And they have had a lot of time to perfect this craft.

Kaleohano

06-24-2013, 06:46 PM

yep. pretty much what the title says.
i don't even really know why, i've only found 1 real guy attractive in about 2 years, yet i've had loads of anime crushes.
i get all "squeeee" over anime boys the way other girls get over real boys-- but when it comes to real boys, i'm like "ew gross".
it kinda sucks because all of the guys who are physically attractive end up having terrible personalities, they are unintelligent and crude.
it's not like i really expect some perfect guy inside and out to waltz into my life because, i know i'm not anywhere near perfect myself.
it just makes me sad sometimes that i can't experience any attraction to boys unless they're... 2d, out of my reach, no way i could actually get to know them because THEY'RE NOT REAL lol.

i think i've started to determine lately that it might be because with real human beings, you never know whether to trust them or not. i think anime boys seem trustworthy because their thoughts are all narrated and you know when he tells the female character "i love you", he's not lying to get in her pants because you watched his deep monologue with himself about whether or not to confess to her the night before.

idk. just my thoughts. little bit of ranting. anyone relate?

Well, it seems like you have some personal issues to sort out. Feel free to talk to me at any time. Cant remember where i heard it, but there was a quote that went something like;

"Sometimes you gotta take a leap of faith first, then hope the trust part comes later."

Too bad though that you seem to have a prejudice against guys who's minds you can't read. Cuz (Assuming your avatar is a picture of you) you seem to be a very pretty girl who could really have the world as a smorgasbord. I used to have a hard time trusting people, and believe me when i say, the world is a much nicer place to be once you learn to open up more to it.

aether

06-24-2013, 06:52 PM

lies!!

Well say hello to the exception here

Anime Forum

06-24-2013, 06:54 PM

Jasanime

06-24-2013, 06:54 PM

Well say hello to the exception here

Hello! :-)

Kaleohano

06-24-2013, 07:09 PM

Lol, I thought that was some google picture. I may be wrong, but.. yeah.

i like to give people the benefit of the doubt. lol

Meenah

06-24-2013, 07:33 PM

Opposite or same sex, I would find some animated characters as "cute". But being attracted to them? Honestly, no.

My list of my babies:
My boyfriend (I'm mean, I'm not showing him off. lol)
Chaejin (http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m7mo5cxABW1rsbu5co1_500.gif)
Zelo (http://images6.fanpop.com/image/photos/33800000/Zelo-baby-baps-fan-club-33811979-500-335.png)
Yuu Shirota (http://kamikazeegirl.files.wordpress.com/2011/03/clothed.jpg)
Key (http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-3QOPJCFZc1E/T4pkPEYZd9I/AAAAAAAAA1I/JSbzBOPpXt0/s1600/key-shinee.jpg)
Tom Hiddleston (http://images6.fanpop.com/image/photos/32300000/Tom-Hiddleston-tom-hiddleston-32358332-600-800.jpg)
Gerard Butler (http://collegecandy.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/gerard-butler8-jpeg.png)
Cillian Murphy (http://images2.fanpop.com/image/photos/13900000/Cillian-As-seen-in-Vanity-Fair-cillian-murphy-13998007-805-981.jpg)
Adam Levine (http://cdn03.cdn.justjared.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/levine-nyc1/adam-levine-fragrance-launch-in-new-york-city-18.jpg)

Just an fyi, my list isn't even completed. But there are beautiful men out there. * u *

Tenrou Nogitsune

06-24-2013, 07:41 PM

I have a crush on my Canadian friend Shayla. Yay real people

lairefaerie

06-25-2013, 03:25 AM

Cos 3D guys are smelly and gross. That's why.

good point ;p

---------- Post added at 03:03 AM ---------- Previous post was at 03:03 AM ----------

It's true, we are. :3

Edit - Also, WELCOME TO THE FORUM!!!
*throws welcoming confetti* \o/

Thank you sooo much~ ^__^
if you were welcoming me not the quoted poster o:

---------- Post added at 03:05 AM ---------- Previous post was at 03:03 AM ----------

Well you never know what will happen in the future, all I'll say is don't completely ignore us guys as not all of us want to get in your pants. Just take your time and see what happens :)

That's true.
I mainly have those feelings because I'm your typical jaded teenage girl who has been literally broken up with because I wouldn't put out after a few weeks.
Hah. -__-

---------- Post added at 03:05 AM ---------- Previous post was at 03:05 AM ----------

Will you go out with me if I wear one of these
http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5274/5887686886_f41366b57f_o.jpg

yes

---------- Post added at 03:07 AM ---------- Previous post was at 03:05 AM ----------

77277

wut

---------- Post added at 03:09 AM ---------- Previous post was at 03:07 AM ----------

Anime girls are attractive, same with anime guys if you like them, but they are supposed to be that way! Nothing wrong with liking them in my opinion, BUT I still find real girls way more attractive. You know, a real relationship and you can actually hold them, unlike anime girls. I like both though <_< ..

I also feel anime girls are much more attractive than girls in real life.
But we girls have makeup to enhance our features-- make our eyes look bigger, etc.
I find females in general more attractive than males though I'm not lesbian or bi, not sure why, females just appear a lot softer and delicate and "pretty", whereas men often times go for that rugged look which I don't find too appealing.

---------- Post added at 03:10 AM ---------- Previous post was at 03:09 AM ----------

I am Len-sexual. Attracted Len Kagamine and Len Kagamine only.

Anime characters are pretty attractive if they're the bara-type, otherwise idgaf. I like to stick with real men the majority of time.

looked him up, i understand your feels

---------- Post added at 03:14 AM ---------- Previous post was at 03:10 AM ----------

Only long-haired anime guys get to me, like Gakupo, and Gakupo is my husband ♥

Otherwise, the only real person I have a crush on is Gackt, and he's even sexier because he's the voice actor for Gakupo ♥

I quite like Ukyo from Amnesia, plus his personality just makes me die inside. (His real personality, not the evil I'm going to murder you one)

---------- Post added at 03:15 AM ---------- Previous post was at 03:14 AM ----------

Only long-haired anime guys get to me, like Gakupo, and Gakupo is my husband ♥

Otherwise, the only real person I have a crush on is Gackt, and he's even sexier because he's the voice actor for Gakupo ♥

I quite like Ukyo from Amnesia, plus his personality just makes me die inside. (His real personality, not the evil I'm going to murder you one)

---------- Post added at 03:16 AM ---------- Previous post was at 03:15 AM ----------

only attracted to anime boys? well.. one does not simply find Daario unattractive!

http://wac.450f.edgecastcdn.net/80450F/starcrush.com/files/2013/05/Ed-Skrein-GoT-Preview.jpg

he pulls off the long hair quite well

---------- Post added at 03:25 AM ---------- Previous post was at 03:16 AM ----------

You know they make anime boys like that for a reason, so you will be attracted to them and watch the show; the same principle is true of anime girls. And they have had a lot of time to perfect this craft.

yesh i know

Ayu 「あゆ」

06-25-2013, 03:26 AM

Only long-haired anime guys get to me, like Gakupo, and Gakupo is my husband ♥

Otherwise, the only real person I have a crush on is Gackt, and he's even sexier because he's the voice actor for Gakupo ♥

I second your notion on Gackt. Pure hotness.

lairefaerie

06-25-2013, 03:28 AM

Lol, I thought that was some google picture. I may be wrong, but.. yeah.

If i was going to use a random girl as my photo I'd probably choose some super cute asian chick

Ayu 「あゆ」

06-25-2013, 03:30 AM

Also, all of the guys from Amnesia are pretty hot and are all really great characters (except that crazy one!)

lairefaerie

06-25-2013, 03:36 AM

Well, it seems like you have some personal issues to sort out. Feel free to talk to me at any time. Cant remember where i heard it, but there was a quote that went something like;

"Sometimes you gotta take a leap of faith first, then hope the trust part comes later."

Too bad though that you seem to have a prejudice against guys who's minds you can't read. Cuz (Assuming your avatar is a picture of you) you seem to be a very pretty girl who could really have the world as a smorgasbord. I used to have a hard time trusting people, and believe me when i say, the world is a much nicer place to be once you learn to open up more to it.

Oh, I do.
Mm yeah i need to work on not assuming people's reactions but the sad part is I'm almost always correct, so I just get used to calculating things to determine the outcome, and if the outcome is bad, why waste my time on the attempt?

---------- Post added at 03:36 AM ---------- Previous post was at 03:33 AM ----------

I have a crush on my Canadian friend Shayla. Yay real people

I hear they have black squirrels.

Zainox

06-25-2013, 03:57 AM

@lairefaerie (http://www.animeforum.com/member.php?310779-lairefaerie) - Yeah, the welcome was for you. xD

lairefaerie

06-25-2013, 04:12 AM

Feferi Dunno, i just don't find any of them attractive. And it's not because I think I'm "too good" or something, definitely not. Hmm I'll post a picture of the 1 guy I've ever seen that I've found attractive in all ways, physically and otherwise. He's a youtuber lol, I don't really know why I find him so appealing but I do. I think it's because he reminds me of an anime boy, for some reason. His attitude and intelligence and looks (:

http://i42.tinypic.com/2vtqjxx.jpg

yeah i mean i don't know i find him basically perfect in every single way possible buuut if i were ever to encounter a guy like him irl i'd run away as fast as i could because 1) i'm both insecure and realistic when it comes to my appearance and i know that uh, super cute boys only date supermodels soooyeah and 2) i had a terrible experience with a really attractive boy so now when i see cute people i'm just like "STAY AWAY FROM ME YOU'RE GOING TO BE EVIL AND BREAK MY HEART"

---------- Post added at 04:05 AM ---------- Previous post was at 04:04 AM ----------

I've heard this said a few times and I find it an interesting topic. I really do. I've never had an anime crush. I don't really have a character crush in any show.

I don't know if your profile picture is you or someone else. I'll make a guess that it is although you should feel free to point out I'm wrong. I can't tell your age. Partially because your face is hidden, part because it's something I'm terrible at. I've made age estimations 15 years off on people before. Lets just say there's a 30 year girl out there who doesn't like me! I estimate you are in your late teens. The personalities you are seeing are for show. I should know! I was a teenage boy. I pretended to be crude and unintelligent just to fit in. It's not easy trying to have friends in school. I tried my best and lost some of myself in the process. What I'm saying is the boys you are looking at are probably not as bad as you think they are. They are putting up a front and once you see beneath it, then the view may not be quite so depressing.

Perfect boys are boring. Perfect girls are boring. Maybe I'm a mirror opposite to you but I find perfection disgusting. A perfectly amusing charming girl in any medium bores me. I want flaws, I want a history that can't be covered by any book or show. I want something with grains, wrinkles and issues. In short, I want a person, not an ideal.

Interesting. You worry that guys are using emotions to buy sex. It's a rather common situation. I've heard people Yoda that thought and state that some people use sex to buy emotions. Either way, I think we can all agree that neither are any good.
You want a guy who means it when he says, "I love you". Then hold back sex. Hold it back for a year. You think a guy who really wants to get in your pants will really pretend to love you for a year? There's easier prey out there sister.
Have you ever considered what happens when the show finishes? Every person falls in love on average 3 times in their life(or so I've been told). How do you feel about that?
In real life you can never hear another narration but even the narration itself is a lie. Someone saying "I love you" in a show and believing it does not necessarily make it so. Look at the Great Gatsby. Gatsby says he loves Daisy. He believes he loves Daisy more than anything. But is it true?

May I ask if you've had problems in the past with boys? I can try and offer insight if you wish. It's a rather personal question so feel free to wave it away.

Guys, girls, we are all human. The opposite sex is not something mystical. It's barely any different in the grand scheme of things.
Also thumbs up for a drunken post!

profile photo has been changed. I'll be 19 in 2 months :)
Mm I see your point about it being just an act, and I agree-- for some.
But for many they are just genuinely very immature. And I guess the solution there is "go for older guys" but I don't think older guys would be attracted to me because my stature and voice makes me come off as wayyy younger than I am.. And who wants to date their little sister. (Errr..)
Oh yeah. I always hold back sex but it's usually because I don't find my boyfriends attractive physically so it's not like it's a real challenge, when every time you kiss someone you feel like you're doing it because that's what girlfriends and boyfriends do, not because you're overwhelmed by a passionate desire for your physical bodies to be as close as possible in the hopes of intertwining your very souls-- Uhm, yeah if you can't tell I'm big on romance and the whole "fiery passion" thing that tends to be so present in a lot of the animes I watch (I mostly find this in yaoi though I watch a lot of straight romance too).
Basically I just find everything in real life to be lacking in the mystery that I crave.
You get to a point where you know what people want to hear and who you're supposed to be and you start going through the motions to avoid eye contact and possible interference. I remind myself a lot of Oreki from Hyouka, if anyone's seen that. I relate a lot to his attitude of conserving energy and his general disinterest in relationships, lol. But it's not because I don't crave deep, intimate connections... It's because life has taught me through experience that most people simply will not understand me, and every time I'm misunderstood completely it breaks my heart a little bit.
Blah anyways.
What really appeals to me is how the guy never stops chasing the girl, you know?
For example, a pretty well known one here, Maid Sama, Misaki has trust issues with men because of her dad, she continually denies Usui's advances but he's smart enough (or stubborn enough) to realize that when she calls him a "baka" she doesn't actually mean it (well ok maybe a little bit), and he likes her so much he's willing to be there for her time and time again no matter how much she pushes him away. Maybe I've just never meant enough to anyone to make them want to stay, so maybe the problem lies with me, but I still admire the way anime boys just never give up on something when they want it. Like in one of my favorite songs the chorus literally goes "I don't mind the chase, baby you're lost out there in a different place, and I can't get to you, but I'll do what I have to." <-- Just wow, yes please. So yeah I do kind of have a complex against guys because they basically all seem to be like "Well if she ain't easy why bother, there are plenty of easier girls out there" No one really wants to have a deep, emotional connection, no one wants to get to know each others little loose stitches and be there for the torn patches.
I don't know I'm totally rambling now.
I have a lot of feels about this subject and I could probably just go on for hours.
I just, don't think I'll ever meet someone who understands the inner workings of my brain, and on top of that I hardly ever to never experience physical attraction, so I'm pretty hopeless. Thank god for anime though, at least I have something to squeal over, or the not-so-prevalent but undeniably present "teenage girl" portion of me might go insane.

---------- Post added at 04:07 AM ---------- Previous post was at 04:06 AM ----------

@lairefaerie (http://www.animeforum.com/member.php?310779-lairefaerie) - Yeah, the welcome was for you. xD

yay :>

---------- Post added at 04:08 AM ---------- Previous post was at 04:07 AM ----------

Also, all of the guys from Amnesia are pretty hot and are all really great characters (except that crazy one!)

yes! gahh i cried until my eyelashes crinkled up and fell into my keyboard.
not really.
but i cried a lot.

---------- Post added at 04:11 AM ---------- Previous post was at 04:08 AM ----------

Thanks for allt he responses guys I expected people to just be rude and like "you're stupid, get a life, stop being weird"
The type I always find attractive are the dark and dangerous kind for example:
Sebastian and Ciel from black butler
Takano Masamune from sekai-ichi hatsukoi
Gareki from Karneval
Zero Kiryu from Vampire Knight
Shin from Amnesia
dunno sure there's loads more but i'm tired atm

I'm a sucker for the whole mysterious, rebellious boy with a tragic past, if you can't tell by the list.
Problem is when I get involved with these types in real life... The thing is, they're not interested in fixing it.
Take Gareki for example. Horrible past, still haunts him, but he's trying his best to move on. He doesn't sit around crying and complaining over the terrible hand he was dealt in life (though he would sure have a right to), he stays strong and fights through it, and I can't even explain how damn attractive I find that. It makes you want to hold them and be the person they can let their guard down around, you know?
I'm not into the whiney, sensitive "emo" type guys and that's what I always end up dating-- They drag me down into their depressing hole and do nothing but feel sorry for themselves, thinking the planet revolves around their misery and they care about no one but themselves. The amount of times I've stayed with a guy out of nothing but pity... Because I've had suicide threatened so many times, that if I left them they'd end their life, that I'm the only thing that makes them happy, etc...
So yeah, fair to say I've had a handful of crappy experience, plus my "daddy and mommy issues" I'm sure don't help with the whole trust thing.

---------- Post added at 04:12 AM ---------- Previous post was at 04:11 AM ----------

i don't think i'm responding to things properly because it's not quoting some people o_o

aether

06-25-2013, 05:22 AM

good point ;p

---------- Post added at 03:03 AM ---------- Previous post was at 03:03 AM ----------

Thank you sooo much~ ^__^
if you were welcoming me not the quoted poster o:

---------- Post added at 03:05 AM ---------- Previous post was at 03:03 AM ----------

That's true.
I mainly have those feelings because I'm your typical jaded teenage girl who has been literally broken up with because I wouldn't put out after a few weeks.
Hah. -__-

---------- Post added at 03:05 AM ---------- Previous post was at 03:05 AM ----------

yes

---------- Post added at 03:07 AM ---------- Previous post was at 03:05 AM ----------

wut

---------- Post added at 03:09 AM ---------- Previous post was at 03:07 AM ----------

I also feel anime girls are much more attractive than girls in real life.
But we girls have makeup to enhance our features-- make our eyes look bigger, etc.
I find females in general more attractive than males though I'm not lesbian or bi, not sure why, females just appear a lot softer and delicate and "pretty", whereas men often times go for that rugged look which I don't find too appealing.

---------- Post added at 03:10 AM ---------- Previous post was at 03:09 AM ----------

looked him up, i understand your feels

---------- Post added at 03:14 AM ---------- Previous post was at 03:10 AM ----------

I quite like Ukyo from Amnesia, plus his personality just makes me die inside. (His real personality, not the evil I'm going to murder you one)

---------- Post added at 03:15 AM ---------- Previous post was at 03:14 AM ----------

I quite like Ukyo from Amnesia, plus his personality just makes me die inside. (His real personality, not the evil I'm going to murder you one)

---------- Post added at 03:16 AM ---------- Previous post was at 03:15 AM ----------

he pulls off the long hair quite well

---------- Post added at 03:25 AM ---------- Previous post was at 03:16 AM ----------

yesh i know

I hate it when guys just want the girl to be some sort of trophy

---------- Post added at 11:22 AM ---------- Previous post was at 11:17 AM ----------

Hello! :-)

Greetings there :)

Kaleohano

06-25-2013, 08:24 AM

Oh, I do.
Mm yeah i need to work on not assuming people's reactions but the sad part is I'm almost always correct, so I just get used to calculating things to determine the outcome, and if the outcome is bad, why waste my time on the attempt?[COLOR="Silver"].

In the navy, we have a saying. A smooth sea never made a good sailor.
Simple fact is that good things don't often come without some level of risk.

Steven21088

06-25-2013, 08:51 AM

OK I've got to admit, I've never found anything other than a human female attractive, ye we guys can be douche bags but you can't really paint us all with the same brush. Please don't be offended by this but do you get out much? Also if you want a guy who has inner monologues that you can hear, so you know what is going through his head to determine whether or not you trust him. Here are two guys that do that, so you know they are trust worthy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VLsyUZ2nGbo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UeYqblj-k2E

See good guys, and they aren't ugly :)

Eris

06-25-2013, 10:37 AM

I think your problem is that real late teenage and early 20s boys are emotionally immature in a way they're not depicted in anime. They're *boys*. Other than his mother, who the hell wants a "boy"? Nowadays it seems to take a while until they realize maybe they should grow up and act like a man.

Will you go out with me if I wear one of these
http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5274/5887686886_f41366b57f_o.jpg

The best I can do are these racist stereotype glasses

http://i.imgur.com/hUpSoKv.jpg

:-(

aerophobia

06-25-2013, 11:46 AM

Feferi Dunno, i just don't find any of them attractive. And it's not because I think I'm "too good" or something, definitely not. Hmm I'll post a picture of the 1 guy I've ever seen that I've found attractive in all ways, physically and otherwise. He's a youtuber lol, I don't really know why I find him so appealing but I do. I think it's because he reminds me of an anime boy, for some reason. His attitude and intelligence and looks (:

http://i42.tinypic.com/2vtqjxx.jpg

yeah i mean i don't know i find him basically perfect in every single way possible buuut if i were ever to encounter a guy like him irl i'd run away as fast as i could because 1) i'm both insecure and realistic when it comes to my appearance and i know that uh, super cute boys only date supermodels soooyeah and 2) i had a terrible experience with a really attractive boy so now when i see cute people i'm just like "STAY AWAY FROM ME YOU'RE GOING TO BE EVIL AND BREAK MY HEART"

---------- Post added at 04:05 AM ---------- Previous post was at 04:04 AM ----------

profile photo has been changed. I'll be 19 in 2 months :)
Mm I see your point about it being just an act, and I agree-- for some.
But for many they are just genuinely very immature. And I guess the solution there is "go for older guys" but I don't think older guys would be attracted to me because my stature and voice makes me come off as wayyy younger than I am.. And who wants to date their little sister. (Errr..)
Oh yeah. I always hold back sex but it's usually because I don't find my boyfriends attractive physically so it's not like it's a real challenge, when every time you kiss someone you feel like you're doing it because that's what girlfriends and boyfriends do, not because you're overwhelmed by a passionate desire for your physical bodies to be as close as possible in the hopes of intertwining your very souls-- Uhm, yeah if you can't tell I'm big on romance and the whole "fiery passion" thing that tends to be so present in a lot of the animes I watch (I mostly find this in yaoi though I watch a lot of straight romance too).
Basically I just find everything in real life to be lacking in the mystery that I crave.
You get to a point where you know what people want to hear and who you're supposed to be and you start going through the motions to avoid eye contact and possible interference. I remind myself a lot of Oreki from Hyouka, if anyone's seen that. I relate a lot to his attitude of conserving energy and his general disinterest in relationships, lol. But it's not because I don't crave deep, intimate connections... It's because life has taught me through experience that most people simply will not understand me, and every time I'm misunderstood completely it breaks my heart a little bit.
Blah anyways.
What really appeals to me is how the guy never stops chasing the girl, you know?
For example, a pretty well known one here, Maid Sama, Misaki has trust issues with men because of her dad, she continually denies Usui's advances but he's smart enough (or stubborn enough) to realize that when she calls him a "baka" she doesn't actually mean it (well ok maybe a little bit), and he likes her so much he's willing to be there for her time and time again no matter how much she pushes him away. Maybe I've just never meant enough to anyone to make them want to stay, so maybe the problem lies with me, but I still admire the way anime boys just never give up on something when they want it. Like in one of my favorite songs the chorus literally goes "I don't mind the chase, baby you're lost out there in a different place, and I can't get to you, but I'll do what I have to." <-- Just wow, yes please. So yeah I do kind of have a complex against guys because they basically all seem to be like "Well if she ain't easy why bother, there are plenty of easier girls out there" No one really wants to have a deep, emotional connection, no one wants to get to know each others little loose stitches and be there for the torn patches.
I don't know I'm totally rambling now.
I have a lot of feels about this subject and I could probably just go on for hours.
I just, don't think I'll ever meet someone who understands the inner workings of my brain, and on top of that I hardly ever to never experience physical attraction, so I'm pretty hopeless. Thank god for anime though, at least I have something to squeal over, or the not-so-prevalent but undeniably present "teenage girl" portion of me might go insane.

---------- Post added at 04:07 AM ---------- Previous post was at 04:06 AM ----------

yay :>

---------- Post added at 04:08 AM ---------- Previous post was at 04:07 AM ----------

yes! gahh i cried until my eyelashes crinkled up and fell into my keyboard.
not really.
but i cried a lot.

---------- Post added at 04:11 AM ---------- Previous post was at 04:08 AM ----------

Thanks for allt he responses guys I expected people to just be rude and like "you're stupid, get a life, stop being weird"
The type I always find attractive are the dark and dangerous kind for example:
Sebastian and Ciel from black butler
Takano Masamune from sekai-ichi hatsukoi
Gareki from Karneval
Zero Kiryu from Vampire Knight
Shin from Amnesia
dunno sure there's loads more but i'm tired atm

I'm a sucker for the whole mysterious, rebellious boy with a tragic past, if you can't tell by the list.
Problem is when I get involved with these types in real life... The thing is, they're not interested in fixing it.
Take Gareki for example. Horrible past, still haunts him, but he's trying his best to move on. He doesn't sit around crying and complaining over the terrible hand he was dealt in life (though he would sure have a right to), he stays strong and fights through it, and I can't even explain how damn attractive I find that. It makes you want to hold them and be the person they can let their guard down around, you know?
I'm not into the whiney, sensitive "emo" type guys and that's what I always end up dating-- They drag me down into their depressing hole and do nothing but feel sorry for themselves, thinking the planet revolves around their misery and they care about no one but themselves. The amount of times I've stayed with a guy out of nothing but pity... Because I've had suicide threatened so many times, that if I left them they'd end their life, that I'm the only thing that makes them happy, etc...
So yeah, fair to say I've had a handful of crappy experience, plus my "daddy and mommy issues" I'm sure don't help with the whole trust thing.

---------- Post added at 04:12 AM ---------- Previous post was at 04:11 AM ----------

i don't think i'm responding to things properly because it's not quoting some people o_o
I'm a guy and i'd rather cuddle with a girl than have sex. I actually broke up with a girl when all it seemed like she wanted to do was have sex.

We're not all the same and there are people out there that you can trust :P

Ourobus

06-25-2013, 01:22 PM

For starters, there's absolutely nothing wrong with having a crush on an unreal character in my opinion, also, I can definitely understand your reasoning for finding it hard to become attracted to real people if many of them have hurt you in the past, relationships ending on sour notes is fing painful, if your having a hard time liking any real people at the moment, you aren't mentally prepared to date at the moment anyway, just let it play itself out, I'm sure someone will come along eventually and surprise you at some point.

Rylingo

06-25-2013, 03:32 PM

profile photo has been changed. I'll be 19 in 2 months :)
Mm I see your point about it being just an act, and I agree-- for some.
But for many they are just genuinely very immature. And I guess the solution there is "go for older guys" but I don't think older guys would be attracted to me because my stature and voice makes me come off as wayyy younger than I am.. And who wants to date their little sister. (Errr..)

Guys are naturally more immature during their teens. I, for one, think boys should take exams a year later as their late maturity is damaging their education and putting them at an unfair disadvantage... but that's a whole different matter.
Your voice I can't judge until I hear. Your stature is not a problem and it never will be. Guys actually prefer their girlfriends to be shorter, whilst girls prefer their boyfriends to be taller. Not that you should aim directly for taller guys, because it's really just a societal trend at the minute.

Oh yeah. I always hold back sex but it's usually because I don't find my boyfriends attractive physically so it's not like it's a real challenge, when every time you kiss someone you feel like you're doing it because that's what girlfriends and boyfriends do, not because you're overwhelmed by a passionate desire for your physical bodies to be as close as possible in the hopes of intertwining your very souls-- Uhm, yeah if you can't tell I'm big on romance and the whole "fiery passion" thing that tends to be so present in a lot of the animes I watch (I mostly find this in yaoi though I watch a lot of straight romance too).

A female friend of mine quizzed me on holding back sex in relationships. She seemed to think I would respect a girl who made me too wait for sex. She was surprised when she found I didn't respect girls who did this anymore. I didn't respect them less either. I'm happy to have sex day 1 in a relationship, but if you girls want me to wait so you can make sure I'm not just using you, well that's fine. I can wait awhile. Either way is fine and most mature guys probably be ok with this. At university I was more interested in fun than a relationship though so I would have fallen at your first hurdle.
You don't find boyfriends attractive? Do find non-anime boys in general physically unattractive?

You get to a point where you know what people want to hear and who you're supposed to be and you start going through the motions to avoid eye contact and possible interference. I remind myself a lot of Oreki from Hyouka, if anyone's seen that. I relate a lot to his attitude of conserving energy and his general disinterest in relationships, lol. But it's not because I don't crave deep, intimate connections... It's because life has taught me through experience that most people simply will not understand me, and every time I'm misunderstood completely it breaks my heart a little bit.
Blah anyways.

What really appeals to me is how the guy never stops chasing the girl, you know?
For example, a pretty well known one here, Maid Sama, Misaki has trust issues with men because of her dad, she continually denies Usui's advances but he's smart enough (or stubborn enough) to realize that when she calls him a "baka" she doesn't actually mean it (well ok maybe a little bit), and he likes her so much he's willing to be there for her time and time again no matter how much she pushes him away. Maybe I've just never meant enough to anyone to make them want to stay, so maybe the problem lies with me, but I still admire the way anime boys just never give up on something when they want it. Like in one of my favorite songs the chorus literally goes "I don't mind the chase, baby you're lost out there in a different place, and I can't get to you, but I'll do what I have to." <-- Just wow, yes please. So yeah I do kind of have a complex against guys because they basically all seem to be like "Well if she ain't easy why bother, there are plenty of easier girls out there"

You accuse teenage boys of being immature for purely wanting sex but you yourself want something more fantasy like. That's no more mature at all. That sounds a little rude and I don't mean it to be. There's nothing wrong in just wanting drama. There's nothing wrong with just wanting sex. Both are completely fine as long as you aren't tricking people. But understand that neither of these are likely to lead to good relationships. Your goals and your methods are completely incompatible. Please answer me this, why do most romance shows end with the guy getting the girl? Real life doesn't climax like that so why do they? And why do shows that continue past this point often struggle?

A guy putting you on a pedestal will not enter a good relationship with you. You will see him as inferior, looking down at him as he worships you. There's no balance. What you seek is essentially a broken relationship and it might hurt you if you find it. The chase may seem fine a dandy in a show, but reality is different. It always will be. If you make yourself into a chase challenge then only guys looking for a challenge will chase you. Those looking for love will think you only care about drama and walk the other way.

Good relationships are built on love, understanding, shared goals and communication. If you won't communicate with your significant other, the relationship will crumble.

No one really wants to have a deep, emotional connection, no one wants to get to know each others little loose stitches and be there for the torn patches.
I don't know I'm totally rambling now.
I just, don't think I'll ever meet someone who understands the inner workings of my brain, and on top of that I hardly ever to never experience physical attraction, so I'm pretty hopeless. Thank god for anime though, at least I have something to squeal over, or the not-so-prevalent but undeniably present "teenage girl" portion of me might go insane.

Oh believe me, they do. Guys crave it. We are just used to locking it away as society dictates.
Mind reading is not a sign of a good relationship. It's a supernatural ability that no real life person has. You can truly love a person and have no idea what they are thinking! Guys, in general are not as well trained in social queues as girls are. They will not pick up on your hints. Be straight forward. You want a deep connection? You tell them what you are thinking. Superpowers do not make it anymore romantic.

darksky967

06-25-2013, 04:05 PM

the problem is that there's no problem

Xeyuzio

06-25-2013, 04:40 PM

looked him up, i understand your feels

That was a meme that has been floating around Tumblr for a while now, Len is too shota for me.

Tenrou Nogitsune

06-25-2013, 04:50 PM

Hon, you need to learn to fall in love with real boys. Else you'll be alone forever. Don't want that, do you?

lairefaerie

06-25-2013, 06:39 PM

Hon, you need to learn to fall in love with real boys. Else you'll be alone forever. Don't want that, do you?

I will respond to the others later, right now i need to respond to this before I go to bed--
Do not talk to me in this way.
Do not tell me to settle.
Do not imply that there is something inherently wrong with being single at the age of 18, and that it somehow speaks to the outcome of my entire life, that I will become a 80 year old woman who never experiences "love" with only her cats to keep her company, merely because I am going through a phase of asexuality brought on by depression and can only find comfort, warmth, and a semblance of trust in animated characters for the time being. Because I am strongly moved by dramatic, romantic, emotional novels, movies, etc. does not mean I will be doomed to a life of unhappiness because I refuse to marry your average joe and pop out 10 kids and have my white picket fence and perfectly ordinary, soul crushingly boring "American dream".
If what you meant to say was in some way not offensive, then I suggest you learn to phrase your responses better, because you most certainly came off as being very negative and implying ignorance with every word. You do not simply "learn to fall in love" with people. You do not make your heart feel something it doesn't, you don't close your eyes while in bed with your lover and imagine you're somewhere, anywhere but here-- with anyone else. You do not do these things, because in the process of trying to make yourself love someone, you will only end up hating yourself and them, and wasting valuable time they could have spent searching for someone who feels true passion towards them. You do not do these things and I know it because I have done it, and I won't ever again. I would rather be "alone forever" than lie to myself and an innocent victim who deserves nothing but true happiness that I am unable to give them.
And well, if this world says that you do have to learn to settle for less than magic, and "learn" to fall in love (the very statement is ridiculous, as if the act of falling could even be taught to begin with) then this is just one of the many things in the world that I refuse to be a part of. I'd rather spend the rest of my life reading/writing romance novels about beautiful connections and magical encounters than submit myself to a mind numbing monotony and wake up one day with a crippled heart and shriveled up soul.
I realize I probably took this to an entirely other level than you were expecting, but this is what crosses my mind every single time a snotty girl who can't comprehend her holes being empty for more than a week or an insecure boy with malicious intentions tells me to "settle".

edit: not implying you are either of those groups of people, just to be clear.

Tenrou Nogitsune

06-25-2013, 07:11 PM

Honestly, the only thing I was trying to do was help you see if there was a possibility of finding happiness in love with a real person. There's nothing wrong with you (as far as I know. Besides, I have many of my own flaws). Just hoping to help another human being strive for happiness.

I'm really not the best at articulating what I'm really trying to get at, even if my hobby is writing.

You do not do these things, because in the process of trying to make yourself love someone, you will only end up hating yourself and them, and wasting valuable time they could have spent searching for someone who feels true passion towards them. You do not do these things and I know it because I have done it, and I won't ever again
I do not know much about you. But I find it insulting that you say that I have never spent time searching for someone to love. But I'll divulge a secret to you: I have spent my entire life since the fifth grade actively searching for a partner. I was single until the 9th grade which was a year of an abusive relationship. Onwards after that ended, I did not give up. Why? Because I value love, loyalty and equality above all else. I didn't give up despite my severe depression because I'm not afraid to chase after happiness. You can say I don't know you and what you've gone through because I haven't. But NEVER tell me that I don't know the pain of rejection, loneliness.

I'm not gonna wake up one day, 40 years old and wishing for a better life. I'm gonna work the hardest I can, give my best effort and do everything in my power to enjoy the awesome power of love! Love is so hard to understand and achieve; that is why it is sought after so hard.

You can yell at me all you want. You can turn others against me. You can get me banned from AF. But I believe love is a part of true happiness.

Anime Forum

06-25-2013, 07:19 PM

Hon, you need to learn to fall in love with real boys. Else you'll be alone forever. Don't want that, do you?

Lol what? People never find love and are not always lonely. What about making friends? Adopting a kid? I mean love is great, but not finding love does NOT mean you will be alone forever. You may of worded it wrong, but just saying.

Kaleohano

06-25-2013, 07:35 PM

I will respond to the others later, right now i need to respond to this before I go to bed--
Do not talk to me in this way.
Do not tell me to settle.
Do not imply that there is something inherently wrong with being single at the age of 18, and that it somehow speaks to the outcome of my entire life, that I will become a 80 year old woman who never experiences "love" with only her cats to keep her company, merely because I am going through a phase of asexuality brought on by depression and can only find comfort, warmth, and a semblance of trust in animated characters for the time being. Because I am strongly moved by dramatic, romantic, emotional novels, movies, etc. does not mean I will be doomed to a life of unhappiness because I refuse to marry your average joe and pop out 10 kids and have my white picket fence and perfectly ordinary, soul crushingly boring "American dream".
If what you meant to say was in some way not offensive, then I suggest you learn to phrase your responses better, because you most certainly came off as being very negative and implying ignorance with every word. You do not simply "learn to fall in love" with people. You do not make your heart feel something it doesn't, you don't close your eyes while in bed with your lover and imagine you're somewhere, anywhere but here-- with anyone else. You do not do these things, because in the process of trying to make yourself love someone, you will only end up hating yourself and them, and wasting valuable time they could have spent searching for someone who feels true passion towards them. You do not do these things and I know it because I have done it, and I won't ever again. I would rather be "alone forever" than lie to myself and an innocent victim who deserves nothing but true happiness that I am unable to give them.
And well, if this world says that you do have to learn to settle for less than magic, and "learn" to fall in love (the very statement is ridiculous, as if the act of falling could even be taught to begin with) then this is just one of the many things in the world that I refuse to be a part of. I'd rather spend the rest of my life reading/writing romance novels about beautiful connections and magical encounters than submit myself to a mind numbing monotony and wake up one day with a crippled heart and shriveled up soul.
I realize I probably took this to an entirely other level than you were expecting, but this is what crosses my mind every single time a snotty girl who can't comprehend her holes being empty for more than a week or an insecure boy with malicious intentions tells me to "settle".

edit: not implying you are either of those groups of people, just to be clear.

Tldr fully. From what I did read though, lol. Yer duuuum

darksky967

06-25-2013, 07:38 PM

Try and not think so much. Seriously, i'm only trying to help here, as you get a bit older you'll come to realize that thinking is bad. It does no good.

TadashiED

06-25-2013, 07:52 PM

Well, as long as it isn't to the point where you're super obsessed with them and are in love with them, then it's totally normal. I feel that way about tons of anime girls. I haven't personally been attracted to a girl in a long time (no, I'm not gay) and honestly it's nothing to stress about. In girls' cases, a good percentage of real life boys are immature and act like little boys until they realize how dumb they are and decided to mature up.

Also, maybe you just haven't found your 'Prince Charming' yet :D

Ayu 「あゆ」

06-25-2013, 08:12 PM

Random thought: I agree with what lairefaerie said about girls generally being prettier and more attractive because of their softness. But guys need their ruggedness or else they'll come off too boyish and then you can't bring yourself to date them without feeling like a pedophile lol.

Anime Forum

06-25-2013, 10:44 PM

Sizary Momo

06-25-2013, 11:58 PM

Guys just aren't attractive this year. No biggy! xD lol

Syaoran

06-26-2013, 12:26 AM

I could make so many comments, but I'll say this: you can't reproduce with an aesthetically pleasing animated character.

nslay

06-26-2013, 12:40 AM

Try and not think so much. Seriously, i'm only trying to help here, as you get a bit older you'll come to realize that thinking is bad. It does no good.

I think this is bad advice. You should always think. Thinking leads to understanding. How could you ever assess yourself or your emotions without a single thought? Or extrapolate what another person may be thinking or feeling? It should go without saying, but people are highly intelligent and complicated beings. You can't always expect to understand people with your gut.

Tenrou Nogitsune

06-26-2013, 01:02 AM

Damn straight!

If we don't get our rugged good looks, all the pretty girlies will be sad n be stuck with wimpy boys.
But in seriousness, I agree. But it's the fact that men and women are opposites make them attract (not including outlying factors)

RainyDayMan

06-26-2013, 02:37 AM

Smelly and gross? *sniffs himself,* (hifhifhifhifhif) I use Axe Body Products.

lairefaerie

06-26-2013, 03:44 AM

Tldr fully. From what I did read though, lol. Yer duuuum

Excuse me? You didn't read something fully because it was "too long", and you have the audacity to call the person who wrote something beyond your mental capacity (or at least your ability to focus) dumb? Thanks for the laugh ^__^

---------- Post added at 03:20 AM ---------- Previous post was at 03:19 AM ----------

I think this is bad advice. You should always think. Thinking leads to understanding. How could you ever assess yourself or your emotions without a single thought? Or extrapolate what another person may be thinking or feeling? It should go without saying, but people are highly intelligent and complicated beings. You can't always expect to understand people with your gut.

Lol yes I completely disagree with that poster but it's not really worth responding to because those type of people and myself will never see eye to eye.

---------- Post added at 03:22 AM ---------- Previous post was at 03:20 AM ----------

I could make so many comments, but I'll say this: you can't reproduce with an aesthetically pleasing animated character.

Who says I want to reproduce? I don't really like kids, anyway. Plus there's always adoption.
I'm not saying I'd rather live my life obsessing over drawings than having real relationships-- If that were the case I wouldn't even be making this thread.

---------- Post added at 03:23 AM ---------- Previous post was at 03:22 AM ----------

Random thought: I agree with what lairefaerie said about girls generally being prettier and more attractive because of their softness. But guys need their ruggedness or else they'll come off too boyish and then you can't bring yourself to date them without feeling like a pedophile lol.

hahahhahha
i don't like super femmy boys like say.. justin bieber or 1 direction, i don't find them attractive at all.
i'm just not into this whole massive muscles, rippling abs and just generally the whole super-macho look.

---------- Post added at 03:25 AM ---------- Previous post was at 03:23 AM ----------

Honestly, the only thing I was trying to do was help you see if there was a possibility of finding happiness in love with a real person. There's nothing wrong with you (as far as I know. Besides, I have many of my own flaws). Just hoping to help another human being strive for happiness.

I'm really not the best at articulating what I'm really trying to get at, even if my hobby is writing.

I do not know much about you. But I find it insulting that you say that I have never spent time searching for someone to love. But I'll divulge a secret to you: I have spent my entire life since the fifth grade actively searching for a partner. I was single until the 9th grade which was a year of an abusive relationship. Onwards after that ended, I did not give up. Why? Because I value love, loyalty and equality above all else. I didn't give up despite my severe depression because I'm not afraid to chase after happiness. You can say I don't know you and what you've gone through because I haven't. But NEVER tell me that I don't know the pain of rejection, loneliness.

I'm not gonna wake up one day, 40 years old and wishing for a better life. I'm gonna work the hardest I can, give my best effort and do everything in my power to enjoy the awesome power of love! Love is so hard to understand and achieve; that is why it is sought after so hard.

You can yell at me all you want. You can turn others against me. You can get me banned from AF. But I believe love is a part of true happiness.

didn't mean to imply that you haven't experienced those things. i was just speaking in general.
and why would i try to get you banned?

---------- Post added at 03:40 AM ---------- Previous post was at 03:25 AM ----------

Guys are naturally more immature during their teens. I, for one, think boys should take exams a year later as their late maturity is damaging their education and putting them at an unfair disadvantage... but that's a whole different matter.
Your voice I can't judge until I hear. Your stature is not a problem and it never will be. Guys actually prefer their girlfriends to be shorter, whilst girls prefer their boyfriends to be taller. Not that you should aim directly for taller guys, because it's really just a societal trend at the minute.

A female friend of mine quizzed me on holding back sex in relationships. She seemed to think I would respect a girl who made me too wait for sex. She was surprised when she found I didn't respect girls who did this anymore. I didn't respect them less either. I'm happy to have sex day 1 in a relationship, but if you girls want me to wait so you can make sure I'm not just using you, well that's fine. I can wait awhile. Either way is fine and most mature guys probably be ok with this. At university I was more interested in fun than a relationship though so I would have fallen at your first hurdle.
You don't find boyfriends attractive? Do find non-anime boys in general physically unattractive?

You accuse teenage boys of being immature for purely wanting sex but you yourself want something more fantasy like. That's no more mature at all. That sounds a little rude and I don't mean it to be. There's nothing wrong in just wanting drama. There's nothing wrong with just wanting sex. Both are completely fine as long as you aren't tricking people. But understand that neither of these are likely to lead to good relationships. Your goals and your methods are completely incompatible. Please answer me this, why do most romance shows end with the guy getting the girl? Real life doesn't climax like that so why do they? And why do shows that continue past this point often struggle?

A guy putting you on a pedestal will not enter a good relationship with you. You will see him as inferior, looking down at him as he worships you. There's no balance. What you seek is essentially a broken relationship and it might hurt you if you find it. The chase may seem fine a dandy in a show, but reality is different. It always will be. If you make yourself into a chase challenge then only guys looking for a challenge will chase you. Those looking for love will think you only care about drama and walk the other way.

Good relationships are built on love, understanding, shared goals and communication. If you won't communicate with your significant other, the relationship will crumble.

Oh believe me, they do. Guys crave it. We are just used to locking it away as society dictates.
Mind reading is not a sign of a good relationship. It's a supernatural ability that no real life person has. You can truly love a person and have no idea what they are thinking! Guys, in general are not as well trained in social queues as girls are. They will not pick up on your hints. Be straight forward. You want a deep connection? You tell them what you are thinking. Superpowers do not make it anymore romantic.

Yes, I find non-anime boys in general physically unattractive. I mean, there's a lot of anime boys I also find unattractive hahah, I'm just generally an incredibly picky person and I could scroll through pages of photos of male models or those "super hot gay guys" you see girls reblogging on tumblr, and I just don't see what everyone else is making a fuss over. Like, I can look at someone and objectively think "Yeah you're a nice looking guy. I'm sure girls go crazy for that sparkling smile and your blue eyes. K." but as for my personal attraction to them... ? That's incredibly rare, and I definitely find that if someone's personality is awful, they are immediately crossed off the list no matter how good their looks may be.
I suppose this worries me because, when it comes to merely fantasizing, there's no problem with being attracted to dangerous type guys and having darker desires, but when acting on them irl, I worry that I will end up with someone extremely unhealthy for me-- I stear clear of those with obvious mental issues but since I am so drawn to darkness... I worry it's inevitable that something bad will happen. The prince riding in on his pristine carriage, offering me a future full of sunshine and rainbows? I may say yes out of nothing but logic and the thought of "This is a good opportunity, he's a good guy, has a substantial living, he's nice... I should love him... I'll try to love him." But my heart would always be longing for the mysterious and alluring knight riding a dark horse or something. I don't know, this making sense? It's not like my heart is full of infidelity, it's not just that I grow cold and am on a constant search for excitement (although this is very true, I break up with people when this happens, I don't cheat), it's just that I long for something deeper. Something dramatic, like you said. Something that makes me feel intensely, even if that feeling is pain.
Oh trust me, I don't want a guy who puts me on a pedestal. Rather, the opposite. I was just saying that I quite enjoy the idea of someone genuinely liking me so much that they'll never leave no matter what. I'd rather be slapped in the face than have someone tell me I need to calm down and walk away from me. I'd rather be chastised thoroughly than ignored. And well since we've already gotten pretty deep here I might as well just say that I know exactly why I am this way, it's because as a child I was not physically abused, rather I grew up neglected, completely ignored, just not seen at all, I wasn't worth bothering with. I was simply not loved enough by my mother to be disciplined, to be yelled at, to even be acknowledged at all. So now the one thing anyone can do that will drive me crazy is ignore me, I had a boyfriend who would always just do the "right thing" and walk away whenever I tried to pick a fight or was really torn up about something. I'm sure lots of girls would find that a virtue. I absolutely hated it.
Anyway that probably got off topic, whatever.

---------- Post added at 03:44 AM ---------- Previous post was at 03:40 AM ----------

Well, as long as it isn't to the point where you're super obsessed with them and are in love with them, then it's totally normal. I feel that way about tons of anime girls. I haven't personally been attracted to a girl in a long time (no, I'm not gay) and honestly it's nothing to stress about. In girls' cases, a good percentage of real life boys are immature and act like little boys until they realize how dumb they are and decided to mature up.

Also, maybe you just haven't found your 'Prince Charming' yet :D

^_^

rf switch

06-26-2013, 03:57 AM

Maybe it's time to just go for people you're mentally and emotionally attached too.

Physical looks are nice and all but in the end you need to get along and be emotionally attached to the person in order for it to work.

You might not want to take my advice though. I don't really follow what I preach. At this point in my life I still need to be physically attracted to a person in order to move onto the emotional part, so.... take it for what you will.

and yeah, welcome to the forums... enjoy your stay

Kaleohano

06-26-2013, 05:19 AM

Excuse me? You didn't read something fully because it was "too long", and you have the audacity to call the person who wrote something beyond your mental capacity (or at least your ability to focus) dumb? Thanks for the laugh ^__^

Oh please, dont kid yourself. The likelihood of you being able to write something beyond my understanding is quite slim. This type of conversation has nothing to do with intelligence. What it comes down to is your inability to realize that you can not simply throw down a post as long as yours without taking into consideration the fact that a dragged out statement like that will become boring to the reader if not properly written (a skill which you have not developed yet). That whole thing could have been reduced down to one sentence. "I do not feel that it is necessary for me to be married or otherwise in a relationship to be happy." Boom! all that BS you wrote, in just one sentence.

let me ask you this, what was your purpose for starting this thread? What were you hoping to gain?

darksky967

06-26-2013, 05:19 AM

I think this is bad advice. You should always think. Thinking leads to understanding. How could you ever assess yourself or your emotions without a single thought? Or extrapolate what another person may be thinking or feeling? It should go without saying, but people are highly intelligent and complicated beings. You can't always expect to understand people with your gut.
Well of course, but I meant excessive thinking, sorry I should have made myself more clear, excessive thinking only leads to negative thoughts

in my opinion this whole topic didn't even need to be discussed, instead of doing something about the problem, you kept thinking about it and wrote about it.. the fact is that it wasn't really a revelant topic to discuss, it has only caused people to argue here and saying that boys are "smelly and gross" is just pure negativity. You're not alone with this problem so why even worry or feel the need to keep thinking about this?

rf switch

06-26-2013, 05:30 AM

let me ask you this, what was your purpose for starting this thread? What were you hoping to gain?
I'm not sure why anyone thinks people are hoping to "gain" anything from internet forum threads. Internet forums have been around long enough for people to know that very little is ever really gained from them.

90% of the time it's a way to kill time and entertain ones self.

Also if you say this shit on the internet it usually doesn't come full circle and affect you in real life.

Kaleohano

06-26-2013, 05:35 AM

I'm not sure why anyone thinks people are hoping to "gain" anything from internet forum threads. Internet forums have been around long enough for people to know that very little is ever really gained from them.

90% of the time it's a way to kill time and entertain ones self.

Also if you say this shit on the internet it usually doesn't come full circle and affect you in real life.

dont use your personal experience to speak for everyone else. I've learned buttloads of things from internet threads. You sir, simply look almost exclusively at the ones intended to kill time.

but for now my question stands and it was not, and still is not, aimed at you.

Xeyuzio

06-26-2013, 05:48 AM

let me ask you this, what was your purpose for starting this thread? What were you hoping to gain?

Can you not read???

anyone relate?

http://25.media.tumblr.com/128eec90df530d63a88e79ad35694637/tumblr_mfw9uvTIZk1rrua13o1_500.jpg

If you don't find him attractive then I believe you and your anime crush thing, he's perfect.

rf switch

06-26-2013, 05:53 AM

dont use your personal experience to speak for everyone else. I've learned buttloads of things from internet threads. You sir, simply look almost exclusively at the ones intended to kill time.

but for now my question stands and it was not, and still is not, aimed at you.
I'm not speaking for anyone else. Am I? Did I mention names? No.

Don't think because something like that is said that I'm speaking for other people. I made the post so I'm speaking for myself. Not you, Not the OP, not the person over there or over there. Me, Myself and I.... "rf switch" and "rf switch" only.

That's not to say I haven't every learned something, but seriously a majority of internet threads are pointless BS. A majority doesn't mean 100%. It can mean as little as 51%. 51% is a majority... I'd bet though that the amount of BS threads on the internet are higher than 51% though.

Can you not read???
No... Because from my experience too many people just read the thread title.. Not whats actually in the thread.

Kaleohano

06-26-2013, 07:14 AM

Can you not read???

i can read just fine. I'm just trying to dig a little deeper.

---------- Post added at 08:14 AM ---------- Previous post was at 08:11 AM ----------

I'm not speaking for anyone else. Am I? Did I mention names? No.

umm...

I'm not sure why anyone thinks people are hoping to "gain" anything from internet forum threads. Internet forums have been around long enough for people to know that very little is ever really gained from them.

do i really need to point out how you're speaking in place of others?

aether

06-26-2013, 03:01 PM

Sometimes love hits you in the face, sometimes it seems to take a lot of searching to find the right person.

The only thing that you really do need to do is give up hope entirely otherwise you won't see a chance to take.

RainyDayMan

06-26-2013, 03:23 PM

I say if Homosexuality is wrong, then I have a Right to be superficial.

Give me Daniel Radcliffe or Jesse McCartney. Or Robert Redford when he was in his Twenties.

lairefaerie

06-27-2013, 08:05 AM

Can you not read???

http://25.media.tumblr.com/128eec90df530d63a88e79ad35694637/tumblr_mfw9uvTIZk1rrua13o1_500.jpg

If you don't find him attractive then I believe you and your anime crush thing, he's perfect.

He's one of those people i look at and im like "Yeah he's obviously physically attractive buuut I feel absolutely no urge whatsoever to maul him."
This, however... *-*
http://i43.tinypic.com/10eod4z.jpg

Xeyuzio

06-27-2013, 09:15 AM

That looks like an anime version of the guy I posted, not sure if that was your intention but whatever, lol.

lairefaerie

06-27-2013, 03:45 PM

That looks like an anime version of the guy I posted, not sure if that was your intention but whatever, lol.

I KNOW RIGHT? it was somewhat my intention i was thinking of anime boys i find attractive and remembered gareki, and then i was like wow, totally looks very similar to that guy. So, I do think I've determined I just have some incredibly weird fetish for... drawings, animations.
It may have to do with my subconscious associating human beings with pain. I'm trying to be objective though but i have a feeling my psyche has decided to label all real boys as "bad, dangerous, stay away". Things that are out of my reach pose no harm, because I will never get close enough to be hurt... Hm.

Rylingo

06-27-2013, 07:44 PM

Yes, I find non-anime boys in general physically unattractive. I mean, there's a lot of anime boys I also find unattractive hahah, I'm just generally an incredibly picky person and I could scroll through pages of photos of male models or those "super hot gay guys" you see girls reblogging on tumblr, and I just don't see what everyone else is making a fuss over. Like, I can look at someone and objectively think "Yeah you're a nice looking guy. I'm sure girls go crazy for that sparkling smile and your blue eyes. K." but as for my personal attraction to them... ? That's incredibly rare, and I definitely find that if someone's personality is awful, they are immediately crossed off the list no matter how good their looks may be.

Different strokes for different folks. I tend to be a glass half full guy when it comes to looks but that doesn't mean you have to be.

I suppose this worries me because, when it comes to merely fantasizing, there's no problem with being attracted to dangerous type guys and having darker desires, but when acting on them irl, I worry that I will end up with someone extremely unhealthy for me-- I stear clear of those with obvious mental issues but since I am so drawn to darkness... I worry it's inevitable that something bad will happen. The prince riding in on his pristine carriage, offering me a future full of sunshine and rainbows? I may say yes out of nothing but logic and the thought of "This is a good opportunity, he's a good guy, has a substantial living, he's nice... I should love him... I'll try to love him." But my heart would always be longing for the mysterious and alluring knight riding a dark horse or something. I don't know, this making sense? It's not like my heart is full of infidelity, it's not just that I grow cold and am on a constant search for excitement (although this is very true, I break up with people when this happens, I don't cheat), it's just that I long for something deeper. Something dramatic, like you said. Something that makes me feel intensely, even if that feeling is pain.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with fantasising about the dangerous guys but, as you said, being with them is dangerous. People aren't really as clear cut as the alluring knight or perfect prince. Hell someone looking like the knight may be not so dark and someone looking like the prince may be not so good.
I find this rather interesting. You'd rather feel pain than nothing at all? That's to say non-dramatic relationships feel nothing? I'm sorry, it's not true. It's just not true at all.

Oh trust me, I don't want a guy who puts me on a pedestal.

Good!

Rather, the opposite.

Noooooooooooooooo!!!!

I was just saying that I quite enjoy the idea of someone genuinely liking me so much that they'll never leave no matter what.

I don't. I'd like to think that if my partner came across me raping a young child she would leave me. A partner that will never leave gives no boundary to horrible, destructive behaviours.

I'd rather be slapped in the face than have someone tell me I need to calm down and walk away from me. I'd rather be chastised thoroughly than ignored.

We are really different. I don't think you'd like me in situations like this because I would walk away. I would explain myself, rather than say nothing. I would explain myself quietly and calmly, then walk away.

And well since we've already gotten pretty deep here I might as well just say that I know exactly why I am this way, it's because as a child I was not physically abused, rather I grew up neglected, completely ignored, just not seen at all, I wasn't worth bothering with. I was simply not loved enough by my mother to be disciplined, to be yelled at, to even be acknowledged at all. So now the one thing anyone can do that will drive me crazy is ignore me, I had a boyfriend who would always just do the "right thing" and walk away whenever I tried to pick a fight or was really torn up about something. I'm sure lots of girls would find that a virtue. I absolutely hated it.

Walking away isn't always the right thing. People must pick their battles. But if you fight over minor things it's going to seem frivolous.

There are two completely different circumstances involved here. When you were "really torn up" about something, he should have chose to listen. Not doing listening to important things when you are a boyfriend is shitty.
On the other hand when you were picking fights he was right to leave. He probably hoped that you would learn your lesson and stop trying to destroy the relationship. If you want attention you ask for it. You don't be nasty. It's not okay and blaming your parents will not validate the behaviour. You were in the wrong to hurt someone for selfish reasons.

Anyway that probably got off topic, whatever.
^_^

This is miscellaneous. Nothing is off topic! :)

He's one of those people i look at and im like "Yeah he's obviously physically attractive buuut I feel absolutely no urge whatsoever to maul him."
This, however... *-*
http://i43.tinypic.com/10eod4z.jpg

Pssh, he ain't nothing on me! :p

Okay, totally going on a tangent. But you should try giving Charlie Brooker's series on why TV shows ruin relationships
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cm5pf1uRyYE
He is my favourite misanthropic TV commentator. It can be a little explicit from time to time. You have been warned.

RainyDayMan

06-28-2013, 12:19 AM

Be sweet, Peoples! Or I will spank you with the Baka Stick!

Albear

06-28-2013, 12:30 AM

So you like anime dudes. Okay.
At least you can get into a relationship if you wanted one. Me? I'm one of those boring ”nice” guys. BUT.. I show no mercy or remorse to people, or anything, that do not deserve it. I show great leniency though, and all of that contrasts within my persona.

Your picky-ness is part of you and I believe it is a good thing. But if you end up with someone below your expectations, then you can run away or learn to accept what you have.

lairefaerie

06-28-2013, 06:46 AM

Different strokes for different folks. I tend to be a glass half full guy when it comes to looks but that doesn't mean you have to be.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with fantasising about the dangerous guys but, as you said, being with them is dangerous. People aren't really as clear cut as the alluring knight or perfect prince. Hell someone looking like the knight may be not so dark and someone looking like the prince may be not so good.
I find this rather interesting. You'd rather feel pain than nothing at all? That's to say non-dramatic relationships feel nothing? I'm sorry, it's not true. It's just not true at all.

Good!

Noooooooooooooooo!!!!

I don't. I'd like to think that if my partner came across me raping a young child she would leave me. A partner that will never leave gives no boundary to horrible, destructive behaviours.

We are really different. I don't think you'd like me in situations like this because I would walk away. I would explain myself, rather than say nothing. I would explain myself quietly and calmly, then walk away.

Walking away isn't always the right thing. People must pick their battles. But if you fight over minor things it's going to seem frivolous.

There are two completely different circumstances involved here. When you were "really torn up" about something, he should have chose to listen. Not doing listening to important things when you are a boyfriend is shitty.
On the other hand when you were picking fights he was right to leave. He probably hoped that you would learn your lesson and stop trying to destroy the relationship. If you want attention you ask for it. You don't be nasty. It's not okay and blaming your parents will not validate the behaviour. You were in the wrong to hurt someone for selfish reasons.

This is miscellaneous. Nothing is off topic! :)

Pssh, he ain't nothing on me! :p

Okay, totally going on a tangent. But you should try giving Charlie Brooker's series on why TV shows ruin relationships
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cm5pf1uRyYE
He is my favourite misanthropic TV commentator. It can be a little explicit from time to time. You have been warned.

Do not tell me I'm using it as an excuse. I hate you so much for that. Everything you said has been discarded because of that one horrible comment. I am the type of person who constantly blames myself and self punishes and I have had to learn it is more healthy to place blame where blame is due-- there is a difference between making excuses and learning to not hate yourself forever due to something that was not within your power, painful things that happened to you that molded who you are, some things that can never be changed. Don't respond any more please, that crossed a line.

Kaleohano

06-28-2013, 07:33 AM

Do not tell me I'm using it as an excuse. I hate you so much for that.

http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTsaqeuLMas4xtHL4em7oBA1HZ3azM51 oAZW5poWtPzxqmXRIjekw

that statement of yours just screams denial.

---------- Post added at 08:33 AM ---------- Previous post was at 08:30 AM ----------

So you like anime dudes. Okay.
At least you can get into a relationship if you wanted one. Me? I'm one of those boring ”nice” guys. BUT.. I show no mercy or remorse to people, or anything, that do not deserve it. I show great leniency though, and all of that contrasts within my persona.

http://funny-pictures-blog.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/Cool_Story_Bro.jpg

Ayu 「あゆ」

06-28-2013, 07:36 AM

Just ignored the trolls. Rylingo and Kaleo like to troll a lot.

darksky967

06-28-2013, 09:35 AM

I don't think that Rylingo is a troll, he seems like an honest poster to me

Albear

06-28-2013, 11:55 PM

Kaleohano
Mah story is so cool, it's like ice co wata, dawg.

RainyDayMan

06-29-2013, 12:21 AM

X'D

Such Fun, you are, Kaleohano!

Kaleohano

06-29-2013, 12:56 AM

Kaleohano
Mah story is so cool, it's like ice co wata, dawg.

and mah stories, argh da ice yo!

https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/2057688320/hEDFE210E/

Rylingo

06-29-2013, 04:54 AM

Do not tell me I'm using it as an excuse. I hate you so much for that. Everything you said has been discarded because of that one horrible comment. I am the type of person who constantly blames myself and self punishes and I have had to learn it is more healthy to place blame where blame is due-- there is a difference between making excuses and learning to not hate yourself forever due to something that was not within your power, painful things that happened to you that molded who you are, some things that can never be changed. Don't respond any more please, that crossed a line.

I'll only respond to say that I'm sorry for hurting your feelings. It was never my intention. When threads on forums are about personal matters, it can be difficult to see were the line is drawn between what's appropriate and what isn't and I guess I crossed it. Sorry.

Just ignored the trolls. Rylingo and Kaleo like to troll a lot.

Nope, I don't troll.

lairefaerie

06-29-2013, 07:55 AM

Thefringedninja

06-29-2013, 09:10 AM

77277
OMG CRYING X'D
But technically, the Titans have no sex, as they have no reproductive organs XD

---------- Post added at 03:02 PM ---------- Previous post was at 02:58 PM ----------

Excuse me? You didn't read something fully because it was "too long", and you have the audacity to call the person who wrote something beyond your mental capacity (or at least your ability to focus) dumb? Thanks for the laugh ^__^

---------- Post added at 03:20 AM ---------- Previous post was at 03:19 AM ----------

Lol yes I completely disagree with that poster but it's not really worth responding to because those type of people and myself will never see eye to eye.

---------- Post added at 03:22 AM ---------- Previous post was at 03:20 AM ----------

Who says I want to reproduce? I don't really like kids, anyway. Plus there's always adoption.
I'm not saying I'd rather live my life obsessing over drawings than having real relationships-- If that were the case I wouldn't even be making this thread.

---------- Post added at 03:23 AM ---------- Previous post was at 03:22 AM ----------

hahahhahha
i don't like super femmy boys like say.. justin bieber or 1 direction, i don't find them attractive at all.
i'm just not into this whole massive muscles, rippling abs and just generally the whole super-macho look.

---------- Post added at 03:25 AM ---------- Previous post was at 03:23 AM ----------

didn't mean to imply that you haven't experienced those things. i was just speaking in general.
and why would i try to get you banned?

---------- Post added at 03:40 AM ---------- Previous post was at 03:25 AM ----------

Yes, I find non-anime boys in general physically unattractive. I mean, there's a lot of anime boys I also find unattractive hahah, I'm just generally an incredibly picky person and I could scroll through pages of photos of male models or those "super hot gay guys" you see girls reblogging on tumblr, and I just don't see what everyone else is making a fuss over. Like, I can look at someone and objectively think "Yeah you're a nice looking guy. I'm sure girls go crazy for that sparkling smile and your blue eyes. K." but as for my personal attraction to them... ? That's incredibly rare, and I definitely find that if someone's personality is awful, they are immediately crossed off the list no matter how good their looks may be.
I suppose this worries me because, when it comes to merely fantasizing, there's no problem with being attracted to dangerous type guys and having darker desires, but when acting on them irl, I worry that I will end up with someone extremely unhealthy for me-- I stear clear of those with obvious mental issues but since I am so drawn to darkness... I worry it's inevitable that something bad will happen. The prince riding in on his pristine carriage, offering me a future full of sunshine and rainbows? I may say yes out of nothing but logic and the thought of "This is a good opportunity, he's a good guy, has a substantial living, he's nice... I should love him... I'll try to love him." But my heart would always be longing for the mysterious and alluring knight riding a dark horse or something. I don't know, this making sense? It's not like my heart is full of infidelity, it's not just that I grow cold and am on a constant search for excitement (although this is very true, I break up with people when this happens, I don't cheat), it's just that I long for something deeper. Something dramatic, like you said. Something that makes me feel intensely, even if that feeling is pain.
Oh trust me, I don't want a guy who puts me on a pedestal. Rather, the opposite. I was just saying that I quite enjoy the idea of someone genuinely liking me so much that they'll never leave no matter what. I'd rather be slapped in the face than have someone tell me I need to calm down and walk away from me. I'd rather be chastised thoroughly than ignored. And well since we've already gotten pretty deep here I might as well just say that I know exactly why I am this way, it's because as a child I was not physically abused, rather I grew up neglected, completely ignored, just not seen at all, I wasn't worth bothering with. I was simply not loved enough by my mother to be disciplined, to be yelled at, to even be acknowledged at all. So now the one thing anyone can do that will drive me crazy is ignore me, I had a boyfriend who would always just do the "right thing" and walk away whenever I tried to pick a fight or was really torn up about something. I'm sure lots of girls would find that a virtue. I absolutely hated it.
Anyway that probably got off topic, whatever.

---------- Post added at 03:44 AM ---------- Previous post was at 03:40 AM ----------

^_^

Have you ever considered that you might be asexual? Cause you sound kind of like you are.

I know from experience, as I am asexual too. Meaning that I do not experience sexual attraction towards either sex, but I am able to experience emotional feelings for them.
Also, I have been know to develop what we call "squishes" for people, when you highly respect and adore someone, but you have absolutely zero desire to physically engage with them.

---------- Post added at 03:10 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:02 PM ----------

I KNOW RIGHT? it was somewhat my intention i was thinking of anime boys i find attractive and remembered gareki, and then i was like wow, totally looks very similar to that guy. So, I do think I've determined I just have some incredibly weird fetish for... drawings, animations.
It may have to do with my subconscious associating human beings with pain. I'm trying to be objective though but i have a feeling my psyche has decided to label all real boys as "bad, dangerous, stay away". Things that are out of my reach pose no harm, because I will never get close enough to be hurt... Hm.

As long as you are satisfied with just watching anime and feel no need or want to be in a real life relationship I think your feelings are fine. Who cares what others think? XD
Personally, I am just happy to have my pets, my close friends and possible queerplatonic (EXTREMELY close friendships, which could be considered relationships, but with no sex or sexual contact etc.)relationships in the future. However, that could change if I have a strong enough emotional attraction to someone, but yeah...I'm aromantic too so... XD
I'm a very mixed up bag of emotions, as you seem to be. Welcome to the club :)

Albear

06-29-2013, 03:46 PM

Most of the examples in this thread are white or pale dudes. We tan skinned guys, or even black guys.. Man, we get no love.

.:neuko:.

06-29-2013, 04:29 PM

Most of the examples in this thread are white or pale dudes.

I would barely call most of them "dudes" even, as most seem to be a bit on the metrosexual side.

Albear

06-29-2013, 10:15 PM

I would barely call most of them "dudes" even, as most seem to be a bit on the metrosexual side.

I guess OP and most of the girls wanna keep it animu, real life included.

Thefringedninja

06-30-2013, 09:00 AM

Most of the examples in this thread are white or pale dudes. We tan skinned guys, or even black guys.. Man, we get no love.
That's mainly due to the fact that anime doesn't feature many tanned or dark-skinned characters, which is a shame :(
Then again, in Kuroko no Basuke Aomine is tanned-skinned and is very popular with fangirls; it seems that the bias comes from the anime creators themselves, not the fangirls :P

DenjaX

06-30-2013, 11:22 AM

OMG CRYING X'D
But technically, the Titans have no sex, as they have no reproductive organs XD

Doesn't matter. He is still a hot bishounen.

Tenrou Nogitsune

06-30-2013, 11:41 AM

That ain't true Albear

Anime Forum

07-01-2013, 12:49 AM

Rude people. Ugh. Thanks for further re-enforcing my disdain for human beings with your total lack of empathy. Being rude to me is one thing, I get it, you've disliked me since I started this post because you don't see the "point" of it. But why make a sarcastic remark towards that other poster? People who do nothing but bring negativity to the world should not be wasting breath in it.

What did you expect making this thread though? For us anime fans to agree? Just ignore the haters and be happy.. Your choice what you like.

---------- Post added at 01:49 AM ---------- Previous post was at 01:44 AM ----------

and mah stories, argh da ice yo!

https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/2057688320/hEDFE210E/

Lol @ HHH.

Velvet_Nightmare

07-01-2013, 12:57 AM

I'd hate to date a 2-D anime girl; kissing her might give me a paper cut.

Plus, just because you hear a character on a show "confess" something, doesn't always mean they're being "truthful" or "noble." Not every narrator or character is reliable, just like in real life. Part of being involved with a person, whether friendly or romantically, is a sense of trust between two people. If you assume that "real" people are untrustworthy, you've created a reality in which you can never allow yourself to get close to someone, because of that lack of trust.

People can be bad, but people can be good. Being hurt sucks, but missed opportunities suck even worse.

RainyDayMan

07-02-2013, 01:14 AM

I once had an Infatuation with a Guy that was black and Korean. He was slightly anorexic, but his Body was hot. And he had the cutest little Butt. I saw it in the Shower at the Y.M.C.A. His Skin was a reddish burnt orange.

His Name was Jackie Henry. I really liked him. Too bad I never had a Chance after he found Religion after he almost died of an Aneurism.

DOOM!

07-02-2013, 08:49 AM

OP Faps to Yaoi!

Thefringedninja

07-02-2013, 10:18 AM

lairefaerie

07-02-2013, 03:47 PM

OP Faps to Yaoi!

Yes she does :3

---------- Post added at 03:42 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:39 PM ----------

Most of the examples in this thread are white or pale dudes. We tan skinned guys, or even black guys.. Man, we get no love.

The guy I posted has really tan skin. May have not looked so in the photo but he is definitely not pale.
I'm not attracted to the super-pale look on guys, really. Not attracted to super dark skin either though. An in between is nice.
And although i'm not racist by any means i have only ever been attracted to caucasians in my life (or mexican guys who look predominantly caucasian, i think there was one of those).
Dunno, everyone has different tastes though.

---------- Post added at 03:47 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:42 PM ----------

OMG CRYING X'D
But technically, the Titans have no sex, as they have no reproductive organs XD

---------- Post added at 03:02 PM ---------- Previous post was at 02:58 PM ----------

Have you ever considered that you might be asexual? Cause you sound kind of like you are.

I know from experience, as I am asexual too. Meaning that I do not experience sexual attraction towards either sex, but I am able to experience emotional feelings for them.
Also, I have been know to develop what we call "squishes" for people, when you highly respect and adore someone, but you have absolutely zero desire to physically engage with them.

---------- Post added at 03:10 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:02 PM ----------

As long as you are satisfied with just watching anime and feel no need or want to be in a real life relationship I think your feelings are fine. Who cares what others think? XD
Personally, I am just happy to have my pets, my close friends and possible queerplatonic (EXTREMELY close friendships, which could be considered relationships, but with no sex or sexual contact etc.)relationships in the future. However, that could change if I have a strong enough emotional attraction to someone, but yeah...I'm aromantic too so... XD
I'm a very mixed up bag of emotions, as you seem to be. Welcome to the club :)

What I struggle with is the fact that i feel I could absolutely not engage in a happy, content life without sexual activity. It is a huge deal to me, because my love language is being touchy-feely and cuddly, and when I like a guy I HAVE to have a physical outlet for it, I can't just put it into words properly, I have to touch him, hug him, have sex, etc. Well i don't have to legitimately 'have sex', but there has to be some sort of sexual contact. That being said, it's been 2 years since I have felt a desire to well, be with anyone in that way. I still get super sexually frustrated all the time though, and the fact that i do experience sexual attraction makes me feel i'm not considered asexual. Although rarely, when it hits, it hits hard and I.. it's almost laughable to think of calling myself "asexual" when I'm attracted to a person. I'm more like a nympho tbh. My switch is just a little more complicated to flip, I think. ;-;
Yeah I'm romantic as well and ideally I would like to find some passionate undying love blah blah, but I'm pretty sure that won't happen, and I've not totally closed myself off to the idea of it, but at this point I will be happy if I meet one guy I am sexually attracted to who is also sexually attracted to me, and is a decent person and shares a few of my interests, and we can just be fwb. I would be fine with never finding "love" I guess, as long as I can find that, and like you said-- have all the other little things that make me happy to distract me from my fairy tale longings.

Albear

07-02-2013, 06:15 PM

lairefaerie
I see. That is quite understandable. But what is super dark to you? Is that another term for black or what?

threewolves

07-02-2013, 08:33 PM

Haven't read all the responses, but have been following this off and on since you posted.

Honestly, I wouldnt worry about it, specially right now, your young, and honestly, anime guys, are written and drawn the way they are, to attract to females, well at least some of them. others are drawn and written to be like a lot of the guys who are watching, basically, insecure and scared of their own shadow, but somehow get amazing looking women falling for them. :)

If your attracted to anime guys, your attracted to anime guys. Heck, when I was younger, I was attracted to strong women thru medieval and ancient history, and wanted women I dated to be like them. :) Not much difference. :)

Only advice I would have, is dont become a recluse and just go out and hang out with people. Heck, some of the Cons I have gone to, like DragonCon and such, have seen plenty of guys, who are cosplaying and look like they just stepped out of an anime. Can't remember where you live, but thought I read you were 19 or so. So find folks local if you can, specially if your in a larger population, head to cons with them if they are going, and meet folks in person who like the same stuff you do.

Hope you find what your looking for, and if that turns out to be 2d anime guys in the end, have fun. If you find a 3d guy who makes you feel the same way, awesome.

RainyDayMan

07-02-2013, 11:44 PM

How can he be black and reddish-orange...I'm confused...

He was light-skinned. He was black and Korean.

lairefaerie

07-06-2013, 02:44 PM

lairefaerie
I see. That is quite understandable. But what is super dark to you? Is that another term for black or what?

I guess so. Yeah black or very dark mexican, very dark indian, etc.

---------- Post added at 02:44 PM ---------- Previous post was at 02:32 PM ----------

Haven't read all the responses, but have been following this off and on since you posted.

Honestly, I wouldnt worry about it, specially right now, your young, and honestly, anime guys, are written and drawn the way they are, to attract to females, well at least some of them. others are drawn and written to be like a lot of the guys who are watching, basically, insecure and scared of their own shadow, but somehow get amazing looking women falling for them. :)

If your attracted to anime guys, your attracted to anime guys. Heck, when I was younger, I was attracted to strong women thru medieval and ancient history, and wanted women I dated to be like them. :) Not much difference. :)

Only advice I would have, is dont become a recluse and just go out and hang out with people. Heck, some of the Cons I have gone to, like DragonCon and such, have seen plenty of guys, who are cosplaying and look like they just stepped out of an anime. Can't remember where you live, but thought I read you were 19 or so. So find folks local if you can, specially if your in a larger population, head to cons with them if they are going, and meet folks in person who like the same stuff you do.

Hope you find what your looking for, and if that turns out to be 2d anime guys in the end, have fun. If you find a 3d guy who makes you feel the same way, awesome.

-sighs longingly- i would love to go to a con, i would love to cosplay, i would love to interact with other people who like anime, id love to meet people who also prefer fantasy to reality. for one thing, i lack the balls to go and do it alone, and lack the desire to do it with a "friend" because i've just had bad experiences with people and i don't trust them, i don't consider anyone my "friend", too dangerous. all through high school people told me that i put off a really bitchy, snobby vibe (until they got to know me and realized i wasn't like that at all) and that's why so many people were mean to me or just ignored and excluded me. they all assumed i thought i was too good for them, when in reality i was sitting there too shy to ask if i could join in, desperately wishing someone would invite me to their group. i've experienced far too many times being the only girl in the classroom left without a partner, when even the stupidest kid in class got picked before me, and i was just sitting in my desk trying to be as small as possible in the hopes that maybe this time i would finally disappear. so eventually i gave up. dropped out of school to do homestudies and never went back. i think maybe you can only take so much of being unwanted before you become convinced that you never will be, and just turn into a cruel person who never lets anyone in because it's the only way to protect yourself from being hurt by them. blah blah blah, sappy story, sorry
my point was i am positive i would be ignored if i were to branch out and go to something like that, i'd put a bunch of effort into my cosplay and let myself get excited and end up being too shy to say hello to anyone and the only people who would talk to me would be boys trying to get in my pants (because that is literally the only people who ever freaking talk to me irl, that's why i love the internet so much, i can just ignore people easily, whereas irl i have to entertain their advances) and i would watch all the groups of girls giggling happily enjoying themselves and just go home very very sad and feel foolish for trying.
when it comes down to it, i'd rather stay at home by myself because feeling lonely hurts a lot less when you're actually alone than when you're surrounded by people.

threewolves

07-06-2013, 11:37 PM

I would'nt say I was like you, when I was in high school, in fact I was the opposite. I was friends with all the cliques. I was starting Center and Nose Tackle of the Football team, my senior year, I dropped the rest of sports and tried the swim team and golf team and made both of those on a whim. :) Was in choir, debate, chess and drama. I hung out with everyone, and supposedly everyone liked me.

But the fact was, though I was well liked and such, I was never truly in, any of the cliques. I was a history buff and gamer. Most folks in my small school found that weird, and so though I had lots of friends, I had very, very few close friends.

Wasn't till I got out of high school, when I joined the Navy, moved from home, and while at the local game store, met some folks, that were a lot like me. I knew folks were out there, but where I grew up, they were not in that area. Once I moved away, found em, and havent looked back.

My main hobby, is SCA, bascially a medieval recreation type thing, though for me, I reenact being a Greek Hoplite. When I get my new kit together will post it. Should be getting the rest of the armor this mont. Just waiting for the final pieces to come in from the UK and Australia.

Before I found the SCA, I was just a gamer, who loved History, but I missed the physical activity, from sports. SCA combined both of those things for me. Have met folks all over the world, who like the stuff I like and we can hang out and talk about it, and go out and fight each other on the field. But thats my thing, and when I found it at 19, it was exactly what I needed. Finally folks who loved the same stuff, or close to the same stuff as I did, and I felt at home.

We've all been burnt, or at least most of us have, from this wonderful race, called the human race. Believe me, there is a reason I am divorced, and it wasn't my doing, betrayal is a very deep pain. So trusting someone on that scale, I totally understand. Have been divorced for 6 years, and lets just say trusting someone on that level for me is still very, very hard. Which is why I havent had a serious relationship since. But I am working on it. :)

To be honest, some folks might be better alone. You might be one of those types. Heck, at times I am pretty sure I am one of those types.

But like I said, your still young, not saying don't let your guard down, or lower your walls. But at least let folks attempt, if they want to, to be let thru them.

Internet is a great place, specially to arrainge to meet other folks, who like what you like. Maybe try that, if your near anything that others might go to. Who knows, might open a whole new world and friends, that you didnt think were there.

Hope you find what your looking for.

darksky967

07-07-2013, 05:27 AM

Thefringedninja

07-07-2013, 10:19 AM

-sighs longingly- i would love to go to a con, i would love to cosplay, i would love to interact with other people who like anime, id love to meet people who also prefer fantasy to reality. for one thing, i lack the balls to go and do it alone, and lack the desire to do it with a "friend" because i've just had bad experiences with people and i don't trust them, i don't consider anyone my "friend", too dangerous. all through high school people told me that i put off a really bitchy, snobby vibe (until they got to know me and realized i wasn't like that at all) and that's why so many people were mean to me or just ignored and excluded me. they all assumed i thought i was too good for them, when in reality i was sitting there too shy to ask if i could join in, desperately wishing someone would invite me to their group. i've experienced far too many times being the only girl in the classroom left without a partner, when even the stupidest kid in class got picked before me, and i was just sitting in my desk trying to be as small as possible in the hopes that maybe this time i would finally disappear. so eventually i gave up. dropped out of school to do homestudies and never went back. i think maybe you can only take so much of being unwanted before you become convinced that you never will be, and just turn into a cruel person who never lets anyone in because it's the only way to protect yourself from being hurt by them. blah blah blah, sappy story, sorry
my point was i am positive i would be ignored if i were to branch out and go to something like that, i'd put a bunch of effort into my cosplay and let myself get excited and end up being too shy to say hello to anyone and the only people who would talk to me would be boys trying to get in my pants (because that is literally the only people who ever freaking talk to me irl, that's why i love the internet so much, i can just ignore people easily, whereas irl i have to entertain their advances) and i would watch all the groups of girls giggling happily enjoying themselves and just go home very very sad and feel foolish for trying.
when it comes down to it, i'd rather stay at home by myself because feeling lonely hurts a lot less when you're actually alone than when you're surrounded by people.

If you are "sighing longingly" you really should try and go to one XD
I went to my first anime con on my own, but since then I have been able to meet up with people I got to know there and so I go to cons with them now.
It's a great way to meet people...it's usually a very positive environment!

---------- Post added at 04:19 PM ---------- Previous post was at 04:16 PM ----------

I don't know if I will annoy you with my post or not but i'll just say that it's alright to be alone, some don't believe it but it is. I've always been alone with nearly everything i've ever done. Sometime I think that I was probably meant to be alone. It's not problem for me since i'm used to it. But anyways, if you are going through depressi.on I believe it can be hard but GOOD to go through it at a young age cause youwill learn a lot and eventually what you need to do to bypass it. I think you should try and force yourself to visit something line an anime con which was discussed, who knows what would happen. And if you want to avoid douchebags, try and not come across so pretty, wear less makeup,or none at all (even though you like it) and just be yourself, it's worth trying

I agree with the idea that social interaction on a large scale and classical relationships are not for everyone, but I don't like your comment about make-up!
Just cause a girl wears make-up, does not mean that they want to "attract" partners...some people just wear it for pleasure, but don't care what others think of it.

Hood Rat Music

07-07-2013, 10:30 AM

yep. pretty much what the title says.
i don't even really know why, i've only found 1 real guy attractive in about 2 years, yet i've had loads of anime crushes.
i get all "squeeee" over anime boys the way other girls get over real boys-- but when it comes to real boys, i'm like "ew gross".
it kinda sucks because all of the guys who are physically attractive end up having terrible personalities, they are unintelligent and crude.
it's not like i really expect some perfect guy inside and out to waltz into my life because, i know i'm not anywhere near perfect myself.
it just makes me sad sometimes that i can't experience any attraction to boys unless they're... 2d, out of my reach, no way i could actually get to know them because THEY'RE NOT REAL lol.

i think i've started to determine lately that it might be because with real human beings, you never know whether to trust them or not. i think anime boys seem trustworthy because their thoughts are all narrated and you know when he tells the female character "i love you", he's not lying to get in her pants because you watched his deep monologue with himself about whether or not to confess to her the night before.

idk. just my thoughts. little bit of ranting. anyone relate?

You should probably lower your standards.

78026 ^-- This will be your future

Kaleohano

07-07-2013, 12:02 PM

this thing is still alive?

darksky967

07-07-2013, 12:06 PM

I agree with the idea that social interaction on a large scale and classical relationships are not for everyone, but I don't like your comment about make-up!
Just cause a girl wears make-up, does not mean that they want to "attract" partners...some people just wear it for pleasure, but don't care what others think of it.

yeah I know that, but what I was trying to say was.. to do something out of the ordinary. To actually even try and make yourself look silly for example cosplaying as Greill or something. I just tried to avoid the problem of "the only people who would talk to me would be boys trying to get in my pants" it seems like a strange problem.. Anyway, I would suggest you lairefaerie to be more positive about things. If you expect the worst to happen, it will happen.

lairefaerie

07-15-2013, 05:59 PM

I don't know if I will annoy you with my post or not but i'll just say that it's alright to be alone, some don't believe it but it is. I've always been alone with nearly everything i've ever done. Sometime I think that I was probably meant to be alone. It's not problem for me since i'm used to it. But anyways, if you are going through depressi.on I believe it can be hard but GOOD to go through it at a young age cause youwill learn a lot and eventually what you need to do to bypass it. I think you should try and force yourself to visit something line an anime con which was discussed, who knows what would happen. And if you want to avoid douchebags, try and not come across so pretty, wear less makeup,or none at all (even though you like it) and just be yourself, it's worth trying

You literally just told me to ugly myself down in order to make friends.
Also, what made you assume I like it?
Ah, I can just feel you deciding my character for me before you even know the basics of who I am. It's always interesting to me when someone believes things about you that couldn't be farther from the truth, just because they have decided that's who you will be in their mind.

Also guys thanks for the comments about it being alright to be alone. I was watching Clannad recently and (in some ways, though I'm not a genius but I am relatively smart) I remind myself of Kotomi, I'd be pretty content sitting in a library barefoot eating a bento and cutting out passages in books I liked. I also don't understand social cues and things like that at all but I don't really feel a desire to. The part where they're trying to teach her how to make jabs always makes me laugh because I'm a lot like that, I just... very much live in my own different world and take things at my own pace. I'm also afraid of people bullying me. Come to think of it, I'd like to cosplay as Kotomi as well d:

---------- Post added at 05:55 PM ---------- Previous post was at 05:52 PM ----------

You should probably lower your standards.

78026 ^-- This will be your future

Tbh I really don't mind. I'm in a bit of a different state of mind now than I was when I began this post. More content with it.
I would rather hump a pillow (not that I'm going to. Just saying.) than give my body away to someone I don't truly love. If that makes me strange then hah, so be it, I think those who would rather have sex with strangers they feel nothing for and will never see again are strange.

---------- Post added at 05:59 PM ---------- Previous post was at 05:55 PM ----------

yeah I know that, but what I was trying to say was.. to do something out of the ordinary. To actually even try and make yourself look silly for example cosplaying as Greill or something. I just tried to avoid the problem of "the only people who would talk to me would be boys trying to get in my pants" it seems like a strange problem.. Anyway, I would suggest you lairefaerie to be more positive about things. If you expect the worst to happen, it will happen.

Since you admitted you don't understand and cannot relate to my problem... Why bother with suggestions? Not trying to be rude, it's really okay, I have yet to meet a single person who understood that it hurts just as much to be falsely loved by everyone as it does to be outwardly hated by them.

Cherry Boom

07-15-2013, 06:05 PM

Hey there are some cute real guys out there ( but ofc they will never be as cute and sexy as anime boys hehehe :3)

Anime Forum

07-15-2013, 06:08 PM

lairefaerie

07-15-2013, 06:39 PM

In my opinion, it may be a better choice for you understand that most people on the forum seem to not agree with you. I am not dissing you and I would love to be your friend (: I just do not want to see you get yourself into deep for no reason, since some people here will bash you for it. I am not agreeing OR disagreeing with anyone, just trust me. Better to move on.

Really? I saw quite a few girls who did agree.
The majority of posters in this were males who took my statement as an insult, they directly felt the sting of "you're not as attractive as an anime boy" therefor they attacked. Also a handful of females made rude comments because of... well, reasons I won't state here to avoid confrontation.
Uhm, yeah don't worry about it, at the end of the day you're all a bunch of random internet people (as am i) and no one should really take anyone too seriously.

---------- Post added at 06:39 PM ---------- Previous post was at 06:38 PM ----------

Hey there are some cute real guys out there ( but ofc they will never be as cute and sexy as anime boys hehehe :3)

hehe yesh :3

sunnyside

07-15-2013, 06:44 PM

Ayu 「あゆ」

07-15-2013, 08:21 PM

Putting aside the fact that the beauty of japanese animation makes ALL anime characters beautiful, anime boys are naturally more attractive just because it is a fantasy where ideally perfect yet unrealistic characters can exist and fill whatever role is desired. In any work of fiction (especially of the romance genre), the main cast is generally unrealistic and cliche yet perfect in each their own way. Only in a fiction would a lover send his beloved a thousand lover letters just thinking of her or threaten to let go high up off a ferris wheel just for the chance to go on a date with some cute girl. What's wrong with having an attraction to that sort of romanticized character?

Anime Forum

07-15-2013, 08:33 PM

Really? I saw quite a few girls who did agree.
The majority of posters in this were males who took my statement as an insult, they directly felt the sting of "you're not as attractive as an anime boy" therefor they attacked. Also a handful of females made rude comments because of... well, reasons I won't state here to avoid confrontation.
Uhm, yeah don't worry about it, at the end of the day you're all a bunch of random internet people (as am i) and no one should really take anyone too seriously.

---------- Post added at 06:39 PM ---------- Previous post was at 06:38 PM ----------

hehe yesh :3

I really want to feel bad for you, but comments like this make you come off as a provoker and not a victim. For some reason, I doubt most of the males took what you said as an insult. Unless of course you can provide screenshots of the posters saying that. Anyways, that aside even if some girls agreed with you, I still feel more people disagree than agree. Not sure if this thread would get 100+ replies if that was that case. Lol, but okay. I really do accept your opinion on anime guys and if they seem attractive to you. Fine! (:

darksky967

07-16-2013, 04:16 AM

I never stated that I understood your main problem. But from some posts I saw - I caught extra problems. Those being, doubtfulness and a lack of courage. No worries, can always work on it. I'm no psychologist, but i'll tell you that.. The world is depressing. Life is actually depressing, but those who are happy have worked for it, So what i'm trying to say is that you're not alone, Everyone is depressed because of totally different reasons.
Excuse me for my lame suggestions. Sometimes happiness can only come from yourself. Anyway, Hope you figure it out, wish you all the best.

also sorry about grammar in my other post, it was typed on a potato

Arrisu

07-16-2013, 10:36 AM

I hear they have black squirrels.

Yes we do. I have two in my backyard, actually. n_n

---------- Post added at 11:36 AM ---------- Previous post was at 11:31 AM ----------

Also...
I understand why you would feel like this. Truth be told,
anime guys ARE ridiculously attractive. I also find myself
having difficulty being physically attracted to the guys irl,
but then again, I try to go for a good personality when it
comes to guys in the real world.

Anime guys = One of my guilty pleasures.
Real guys = A possible future with them and therefore I need
a strong and kind man.

I guess that's just how I grew up to see it.

Tenrou Nogitsune

07-16-2013, 11:24 AM

Yes we do. I have two in my backyard, actually. n_n

---------- Post added at 11:36 AM ---------- Previous post was at 11:31 AM ----------

Also...
I understand why you would feel like this. Truth be told,
anime guys ARE ridiculously attractive. I also find myself
having difficulty being physically attracted to the guys irl,
but then again, I try to go for a good personality when it
comes to guys in the real world.

Anime guys = One of my guilty pleasures.
Real guys = A possible future with them and therefore I need
a strong and kind man.

I guess that's just how I grew up to see it.

It's always mostly about a person's personality, but also physical and sexual chemistry to match and game.

Thefringedninja

07-17-2013, 08:55 AM

You should probably lower your standards.

78026 ^-- This will be your future
What is the second image of?

I really want that Simon body cushion now...XD

---------- Post added at 02:55 PM ---------- Previous post was at 02:52 PM ----------

lairefaerie

To be fair anime guys can be quite unrealistic (not that anime girls sometimes aren't).

For example all the guys who I think are supposed to be "cool" and attractive in Karneval are drawn with this weird crossing hair thing between their eyes that I presume girls are supposed to like.

78354

LOL You're a funny guy XD

lairefaerie

07-18-2013, 10:01 PM

lairefaerie

To be fair anime guys can be quite unrealistic (not that anime girls sometimes aren't).

For example all the guys who I think are supposed to be "cool" and attractive in Karneval are drawn with this weird crossing hair thing between their eyes that I presume girls are supposed to like.

78354

However the only one of the main male characters that I'm confident is straight is the one from airship one with the whip, and he's not drawn so attractively.

Anyway something I figured out in college is that what people find attractive is largely influenced by how they feel about that person. Both males and females actually. Since you find anime guys attractive I don't think you're asexual. So it's probably just a matter of finding "the right guy" and the attraction will kick in. There's no need to rush that, especially in high school.

LOL crossing hair thing
and Jiki? Nah he's drawn attractively, for sure.
http://littlecloudcuriosity.files.wordpress.com/2013/05/haha1.jpg

I <3 glasses on anime boys *-*
I am a sophomore in college but thanks :3

---------- Post added at 09:58 PM ---------- Previous post was at 09:53 PM ----------

I never stated that I understood your main problem. But from some posts I saw - I caught extra problems. Those being, doubtfulness and a lack of courage. No worries, can always work on it. I'm no psychologist, but i'll tell you that.. The world is depressing. Life is actually depressing, but those who are happy have worked for it, So what i'm trying to say is that you're not alone, Everyone is depressed because of totally different reasons.
Excuse me for my lame suggestions. Sometimes happiness can only come from yourself. Anyway, Hope you figure it out, wish you all the best.

also sorry about grammar in my other post, it was typed on a potato

thanks and dw about it

---------- Post added at 10:01 PM ---------- Previous post was at 09:58 PM ----------

btw guys i just watched the world god only knows and i was laughing so hard bc i'm very nearly the female version of keima katsuragi
seriously though hilarious anime owo
http://i39.tinypic.com/1zbs0md.jpg

KingArt

07-19-2013, 04:01 AM

I've been compared to anime characters before.
Physically; I'm practically albino, I never get any acme or blemishes on my skin, straight black hair... hmm what else... I have giant *** eyes?
http://i42.tinypic.com/1z1wznc.jpg
That pretty much covers me physically I really don't want to go deeply into my personality because this is not a dating site, buuuuut I think I'm a pretty swell guy... OH and I love anime which is all that really counts anyway. ~.^
I'm not going to lie though I have had anime crushes over the year, well I don't know if you could call them a crush more like I wish I could find someone similar irl. Ex. Mamimi - Flcl

WhyWorry

07-21-2013, 10:07 AM

I used to have a phase like this. All my life revolved around 2D bishounens. When I meet boys, I'd immediately find an anime character comparable to them. My boyfriend and I used to fight all the time because he felt I kept comparing him to my anime crushes. ^^;

DOOM!

07-21-2013, 10:52 AM

Yes she does :3

---------- Post added at 03:42 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:39 PM ----------

The guy I posted has really tan skin. May have not looked so in the photo but he is definitely not pale.
I'm not attracted to the super-pale look on guys, really. Not attracted to super dark skin either though. An in between is nice.
And although i'm not racist by any means i have only ever been attracted to caucasians in my life (or mexican guys who look predominantly caucasian, i think there was one of those).
Dunno, everyone has different tastes though.

---------- Post added at 03:47 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:42 PM ----------

What I struggle with is the fact that i feel I could absolutely not engage in a happy, content life without sexual activity. It is a huge deal to me, because my love language is being touchy-feely and cuddly, and when I like a guy I HAVE to have a physical outlet for it, I can't just put it into words properly, I have to touch him, hug him, have sex, etc. Well i don't have to legitimately 'have sex', but there has to be some sort of sexual contact. That being said, it's been 2 years since I have felt a desire to well, be with anyone in that way. I still get super sexually frustrated all the time though, and the fact that i do experience sexual attraction makes me feel i'm not considered asexual. Although rarely, when it hits, it hits hard and I.. it's almost laughable to think of calling myself "asexual" when I'm attracted to a person. I'm more like a nympho tbh. My switch is just a little more complicated to flip, I think. ;-;
Yeah I'm romantic as well and ideally I would like to find some passionate undying love blah blah, but I'm pretty sure that won't happen, and I've not totally closed myself off to the idea of it, but at this point I will be happy if I meet one guy I am sexually attracted to who is also sexually attracted to me, and is a decent person and shares a few of my interests, and we can just be fwb. I would be fine with never finding "love" I guess, as long as I can find that, and like you said-- have all the other little things that make me happy to distract me from my fairy tale longings.

I've been raised in culture as harsh as Japan's and have a 14-yaer-old anime boii's personality. I could buy some anime contact lens and we could get it on. I'm also across the ocean, so you know we're outta reach. Wanna hookup?

lairefaerie

07-24-2013, 08:32 PM

WhyWorry

07-28-2013, 01:29 PM

Wio

07-28-2013, 07:45 PM

^ Well, actually, my boyfriend sort of gave me an ultimatum. Something like, if I didn't "grow up" and stop comparing him to anime characters, he'll leave me X( That was really scary for me and I forced myself to really keep myself from ogling at all those characters. At one point, I stopped watching anime and forced myself to watch live action instead. The thing is, I began to have crushes on Japanese actors but strangely enough, I didn't feel like comparing them to a real person. I guess I finally grew up? :)

Most guys can handle the fact that there are other guys which are more attractive, smarter, or superior to them in some way. Any self respecting guy is not going to accept being treated as inadequate though. If you make a guy feel replaceable or unnecessary, he should leave you.

Kaleohano

07-28-2013, 10:19 PM

Most guys can handle the fact that there are other guys which are more attractive, smarter, or superior to them in some way. Any self respecting guy is not going to accept being treated as inadequate though. If you make a guy feel replaceable or unnecessary, he should leave you.

http://resource.mmgn.com/pwnage/user_10324_GBBS6P7L.jpg

100% agree!

i've had girlfriends in the past make me feel like that. However, i'm not so nice as to just leave. I'm not gonna go into any details, but I'll just say that i've been very successful at leveling the playing field.

Sympathy

07-28-2013, 10:35 PM

an introvert attracted to anime characters, pretty common thing these days. nothing to be ashamed of. i was never solely attracted to anime characters as a guy generally wants to screw everything that moves from puberty on (despite whomever may deny it) but i do find anime characters attractive. their idealistic design makes that pretty easy.

you just need to open yourself up to people and allow them to understand you, allowing you to know them in return. eventually you'll find someone you connect with, and attraction will follow regardless of whether they look like a pale demi-god or not.

i like playing relationship therapist

Mesut

07-28-2013, 10:40 PM

Don't respond any more please, that crossed a line.

It's okay for you to express your opinion but when someone else expresses their opinion it's called crossing the line? This is the 21st century, don't expect people to say "Oh I totally agree with you 100%!" If you're going to rant about something, then get ready to take on someone else's opinionated rant.

lairefaerie

07-30-2013, 04:27 AM

It's okay for you to express your opinion but when someone else expresses their opinion it's called crossing the line? This is the 21st century, don't expect people to say "Oh I totally agree with you 100%!" If you're going to rant about something, then get ready to take on someone else's opinionated rant.

There is a difference between disagreeing and saying something that crosses a major line. For example, if a woman was raped and you proceeded to call her an inappropriate name, she has every right to tell you to piss off. I would be fine with someone telling me to quit talking to them if I invaded their boundaries and crossed a major line.

---------- Post added at 04:25 AM ---------- Previous post was at 04:22 AM ----------

^ Well, actually, my boyfriend sort of gave me an ultimatum. Something like, if I didn't "grow up" and stop comparing him to anime characters, he'll leave me X( That was really scary for me and I forced myself to really keep myself from ogling at all those characters. At one point, I stopped watching anime and forced myself to watch live action instead. The thing is, I began to have crushes on Japanese actors but strangely enough, I didn't feel like comparing them to a real person. I guess I finally grew up? :)

i see :)

---------- Post added at 04:27 AM ---------- Previous post was at 04:25 AM ----------

an introvert attracted to anime characters, pretty common thing these days. nothing to be ashamed of. i was never solely attracted to anime characters as a guy generally wants to screw everything that moves from puberty on (despite whomever may deny it) but i do find anime characters attractive. their idealistic design makes that pretty easy.

you just need to open yourself up to people and allow them to understand you, allowing you to know them in return. eventually you'll find someone you connect with, and attraction will follow regardless of whether they look like a pale demi-god or not.

i like playing relationship therapist

Irl i hate cute boys because the more physically attractive you are the more horrible you are inside
Call me biased all you want but this is true in 90% of cases (with both men and women)
So i'm really making it impossible for myself. Cause even if i did meet someone I found attractive I would automatically hate them and assume the worst of them.
Haaahahha oh well I've got more important stuff to do anyway, I'll go be a vet and take care of sweet little animals <3

Rylingo

07-30-2013, 03:25 PM

Velvet_Nightmare

08-02-2013, 05:29 AM

Irl i hate cute boys because the more physically attractive you are the more horrible you are inside
Call me biased all you want but this is true in 90% of cases (with both men and women)
So i'm really making it impossible for myself. Cause even if i did meet someone I found attractive I would automatically hate them and assume the worst of them.

At least you admit that you're making the situation worse for yourself. Honestly, believing that a person has a bad personality because they are attractive is just weird. I'll admit I'm not the sharpest looking guy in the world, but I can be a real crappy person to people at times. On the other hand, I know plenty of attractive people [at least attractive in my eyes] that have personality traits that I envy: optimism, patience, hard-working, truthful, etc.

Who knows, maybe they got me fooled and are really terrible people, but like I said in my previous post, it comes down to trusting people, and allowing people to become close to you. I admire you becoming a vet if that is the path you choose. I love animals, but humans beings are meant to be social. I know there are people that can go through life with minimal human interaction, but honestly, where's the fun in that?

Thefringedninja

08-02-2013, 09:45 AM

I love animals, but humans beings are meant to be social. I know there are people that can go through life with minimal human interaction, but honestly, where's the fun in that?
^^My life. I am having fun XD
I only have a few friends, but I have five pets and I am happy that way. Just because humans have a social psychology, it doesn't mean that you can't live a fulfilling life where being social with other humans is on the back burner.

Vintniv

08-02-2013, 11:42 AM

I'm so surprised how long this thread has become. I genuinely understand your position OP, but I do not sympathize you. You dont have a 'problem,' you just want to avoid loss and the pressure of being rejected/judged by another human being, and that's hard to do. Animals obviously will not reject you if you feed them or give them attention, but humans are harder, so you find comfort in humans who wont/cant judge you in return.

Like I said before earlier in the thread, there is a reason why these characters are idealized; its to get you to watch the show and that's it. That's why shows like K-on, Lucky Star, etc are popular. Here's some cute girls they say, they're perfect in every way, if you dont like one, there's others to pick from, like fruit in a produce isle. Its standard operating procedure, but you're trying to refuse reality here.

If you dont want to engage in contact with an imperfect guy, perfectly fine. But please dont count out 50% of humanity because they dont meet the standards you created for yourself watching anime.

Anime Forum

08-03-2013, 01:20 AM

---------- Post added at 04:25 AM ---------- Previous post was at 04:22 AM ----------

---------- Post added at 04:27 AM ---------- Previous post was at 04:25 AM ----------

Irl i hate cute boys because the more physically attractive you are the more horrible you are inside
Call me biased all you want but this is true in 90% of cases (with both men and women)
So i'm really making it impossible for myself. Cause even if i did meet someone I found attractive I would automatically hate them and assume the worst of them.
Haaahahha oh well I've got more important stuff to do anyway, I'll go be a vet and take care of sweet little animals <3

You need help if you truly believe that. Where are you getting the "90%" from may I ask? You seem to have made that up because those numbers are absurd.

Must everyone be ugly to fit your bill? Because I went from feeling bad for you to just thinking you need a nice therapist. Anyone with half a brain will agree with me.

Edit: A dislike. Lol. Can't believe anyone would agree with the fact that good looking people are bad people.

---------- Post added 08-03-2013 at 02:20 AM ---------- Previous post was 08-02-2013 at 11:26 PM ----------

At least you admit that you're making the situation worse for yourself. Honestly, believing that a person has a bad personality because they are attractive is just weird. I'll admit I'm not the sharpest looking guy in the world, but I can be a real crappy person to people at times. On the other hand, I know plenty of attractive people [at least attractive in my eyes] that have personality traits that I envy: optimism, patience, hard-working, truthful, etc.

Who knows, maybe they got me fooled and are really terrible people, but like I said in my previous post, it comes down to trusting people, and allowing people to become close to you. I admire you becoming a vet if that is the path you choose. I love animals, but humans beings are meant to be social. I know there are people that can go through life with minimal human interaction, but honestly, where's the fun in that?

Its really weird. Judging people for looking good is no less shallow then judging them for not. Calling them bad people for being attractive is foolish, childish and just wrong.

Ayu 「あゆ」

08-03-2013, 12:08 PM

Trolling, argumentative people. Sigh.

Sympathy

08-03-2013, 01:36 PM

Trolling, argumentative people. Sigh.

talking bout the op or responders? op is much more troll-y than the responders, either A) she is in fact a troll or B) has seriously sociological issues

Anime Forum

08-03-2013, 01:58 PM

Trolling, argumentative people. Sigh.

Trolling? Seriously? You are talking about the OP right? Calling good looking people bad people is EXTREMELY shallow and no better than judging not as good looking people by looks alone. This thread is becoming a joke, along with anyone who agrees that post.

Miss Moonlight

08-03-2013, 02:02 PM

yep. pretty much what the title says.
i don't even really know why, i've only found 1 real guy attractive in about 2 years, yet i've had loads of anime crushes.
i get all "squeeee" over anime boys the way other girls get over real boys-- but when it comes to real boys, i'm like "ew gross".
it kinda sucks because all of the guys who are physically attractive end up having terrible personalities, they are unintelligent and crude.
it's not like i really expect some perfect guy inside and out to waltz into my life because, i know i'm not anywhere near perfect myself.
it just makes me sad sometimes that i can't experience any attraction to boys unless they're... 2d, out of my reach, no way i could actually get to know them because THEY'RE NOT REAL lol.

i think i've started to determine lately that it might be because with real human beings, you never know whether to trust them or not. i think anime boys seem trustworthy because their thoughts are all narrated and you know when he tells the female character "i love you", he's not lying to get in her pants because you watched his deep monologue with himself about whether or not to confess to her the night before.

idk. just my thoughts. little bit of ranting. anyone relate?

Your disappointment in people has led to an aversion to reality and actual human beings. I'd say you should probably get help with that.

Ayu 「あゆ」

08-03-2013, 02:06 PM

talking bout the op or responders? op is much more troll-y than the responders, either A) she is in fact a troll or B) has seriously sociological issues

More empty insults from a troll. Thank you for proving my point.

Sympathy

08-03-2013, 02:41 PM

More empty insults from a troll. Thank you for proving my point.

i don't even... so okay - EVERYONE responding to this thread is a troll, right? it's not the one person who claims every good looking person is inherently sh*tty, it's the people who disagree with this ludicrous idea. some people's children.

Ayu 「あゆ」

08-03-2013, 03:51 PM

Tenrou Nogitsune

08-03-2013, 05:55 PM

This thread is still alive?

Anime Forum

08-03-2013, 08:46 PM

i don't even... so okay - EVERYONE responding to this thread is a troll, right? it's not the one person who claims every good looking person is inherently sh*tty, it's the people who disagree with this ludicrous idea. some people's children.

By calling people a troll is the obvious easy way out. There probably were a few troll like posts before hand, but the person you quoted seems to know only how to call posts she dislikes as of late troll posts and has a hard time understanding that the true one at fault is the one who thinks good looking people are bad people. Funny enough on another thread, Ayu said this thread was not shallow, but judging anime characters who aren't real people by looks alone is. Hypocritical and very interesting. This thread was controversial already, but it is now a huge joke with no credibility.

Velvet_Nightmare

08-03-2013, 08:55 PM

^^My life. I am having fun XD
I only have a few friends, but I have five pets and I am happy that way. Just because humans have a social psychology, it doesn't mean that you can't live a fulfilling life where being social with other humans is on the back burner.

The last part was more question than statement, actually. XD
Not saying it can't be done, the only way I intended for it to be a statement was in a personal sense for me. I'm not a huge social butterfly, but I try my best to open up to people.
Again, more of my personal stuff/open invitation for discussion. :P

Kaleohano

08-04-2013, 01:53 AM

old legends never die, they just lose weight...or gain it in the form of more posts in this case.

blueangel06661

08-04-2013, 08:00 AM

Imma Let this thread finish but... (http://i0.wp.com/wwtf-world.info/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/Ima-let-you-finish.jpeg)
I haven't made my input yet.. And I'm saddened by this.

First off, OP is highly delusional and a bit shallow. All beautiful people are jerks? PSHH, who said beautiful people wanted to be with you anyways with that attitude and way of thinking, if it were I'd knock you out of consideration based off of just that delusional personality of yours alone. Not because I'm beautiful and a jerk.

Don't get me wrong though some beautiful people CAN be jerks. I was madly in love with my best friend for years. He was the most popular and sought after boy in our school career. That being said he was a huge jerk to every girl he dated and a jerk to me in public. I was just that closet friend basically. However I don't hold my experiences with him against all other beautiful people as I know every person is different.

Besides. Anime characters can be perfect. They are a figment of someone else's imagination and there are no invisible laws preventing perfection in imagination like there are here in reality. You're obviously not perfect with this creepy mentality of yours, so don't expect everyone around you to be perfect either. You are a "what do you have to offer for ME" instead of a "what can we offer for each other" Don't forget, you have to contribute towards the relationship to.

Rylingo

08-04-2013, 12:08 PM

Besides. Anime characters can be perfect. They are a figment of someone else's imagination and there are no invisible laws preventing perfection in imagination like there are here in reality.

It's kind of a digression but I've seen a few people discuss perfect characters and what they say about the author creating them. It's an interesting topic. When an author creates a perfect character you find exactly what they value most in a mate.

Take the common example of Edward from Twilight. Edward is clearly the epitome of what the author desires. The way Myer's describes him makes this very obvious. Some readers read through the books and become fans of Edward to because he is what they desire. Yet some others find Edward to be a nasty character. They despise him and his actions. They find the authors perfect male to be repugnant. Beauty really is in the eyes of the beholder.

I've also seen discussions on Twilight and it's adherence to the classic Red Vs Blue romantic system. Unlike most american books, blue (Edward) wins. The red (impulsive, brave, loudmouthed) character usually wins over the blue (intellectual, quiet, plotting) character in American media. In eastern media, the blue tends to be seen as the most attractive.

darksky967

08-04-2013, 06:22 PM

Rylingo@ may I ask why you find it an interesting topic?

Kaleohano

08-04-2013, 11:32 PM

Take the common example of Edward from Twilight. Edward is clearly the epitome of what the author desires. The way Myer's describes him makes this very obvious. Some readers read through the books and become fans of Edward to because he is what they desire. Yet some others find Edward to be a nasty character. They despise him and his actions. They find the authors perfect male to be repugnant. Beauty really is in the eyes of the beholder.

http://lanternhollow.files.wordpress.com/2011/04/vampires-don-t-sparkle-critical-analysis-of-twilight-11792319-400-300.jpg

in a realistic view (about your red vs. blue thing)
http://s3.roosterteeth.com/assets/epart/ep647m.jpg

theres a stronger conformity to the red winning. sadly, being the patient nice guy just doesn't really work so well these days.

http://pad1.whstatic.com/images/thumb/e/e8/Escape-the-Friend-Zone-Step-1.jpg/550px-Escape-the-Friend-Zone-Step-1.jpg

Rylingo

08-06-2013, 08:29 AM

Rylingo@ may I ask why you find it an interesting topic?

I find it interesting because it tells you so much about a writer. And I find writers and what compels them to write, very interesting.
Does the writer value intellect or intuition? Does the writer value unspoken love or love roared from the heavens? Does the writer prefer roaring bravery or unmoved stoicism. Neither blue or red are necessarily right or wrong. It should be noted that conservatives tend to lean more towards the red (with blue as the temptation) whilst progressives tend to lean more to the blue (with red as the temptation).

These opposing forces are easiest seen in romances. You want anime examples? There are loads. Look at fruits basket (I've only listened to a bit of this). Kyo is a red. Yuki is a blue. It's a clear as day with these two.

theres a stronger conformity to the red winning. sadly, being the patient nice guy just doesn't really work so well these days.
http://pad1.whstatic.com/images/thumb/e/e8/Escape-the-Friend-Zone-Step-1.jpg/550px-Escape-the-Friend-Zone-Step-1.jpg

Nice guys =/= a blue. Both blues and reds can be bad guys or nice guys. Blues are not always so patient. They may be just as impatient as reds, they just won't show impatience often. They will manipulate the situation to speed it up.

The friendzone is another topic I could talk at length about. The real shame of the topic is that people tend to either judge the males in the situation as wrong or the females in the situation as wrong (or vice versa given gender swap). The truth is, neither are in the wrong. It's just an unfortunate inevitable effect of human interaction.

Ayu 「あゆ」

08-06-2013, 04:40 PM

I don't see how it is wrong to be turned off by attractive males because you have had repeat bad experiences with them. This is the truth, and anyone who thinks otherwise is "delusional."

Sympathy

08-06-2013, 05:12 PM

there's a common denominator in "a string of bad relationships with attractive guys", and that's you. instead of generalizing people maybe you should look to yourself to see if there was anything you could have done to make the relationships work.

and even if it was entirely the guys' fault, you think it's fair to not give anyone else a chance?

tell me if you think the following sentences are true or false:

"Tim and Eric both have blue eyes. Tim doesn't like me. Eric won't like me either because his eyes are blue."

is your argument still making a lot of sense to you?

note: the correct answer is "gee, medicated, when you put it like that my argument sounds assenine!"

Miss Moonlight

08-06-2013, 07:59 PM

I find it interesting because it tells you so much about a writer. And I find writers and what compels them to write, very interesting.
Does the writer value intellect or intuition? Does the writer value unspoken love or love roared from the heavens? Does the writer prefer roaring bravery or unmoved stoicism. Neither blue or red are necessarily right or wrong. It should be noted that conservatives tend to lean more towards the red (with blue as the temptation) whilst progressives tend to lean more to the blue (with red as the temptation).

These opposing forces are easiest seen in romances. You want anime examples? There are loads. Look at fruits basket (I've only listened to a bit of this). Kyo is a red. Yuki is a blue. It's a clear as day with these two.

Nice guys =/= a blue. Both blues and reds can be bad guys or nice guys. Blues are not always so patient. They may be just as impatient as reds, they just won't show impatience often. They will manipulate the situation to speed it up.

The friendzone is another topic I could talk at length about. The real shame of the topic is that people tend to either judge the males in the situation as wrong or the females in the situation as wrong (or vice versa given gender swap). The truth is, neither are in the wrong. It's just an unfortunate inevitable effect of human interaction.

We could also go on to discuss how friendzoning doesn't actually exist, it's just a term coined by people who are disappointed that they didn't get what they wanted from a person. A "Nice Guy (http://www.buzzfeed.com/hnigatu/13-reasons-why-nice-guys-are-the-worst)" is an entirely different topic, too.

Kaleohano

08-06-2013, 08:51 PM

Nice guys =/= a blue. Both blues and reds can be bad guys or nice guys. Blues are not always so patient. They may be just as impatient as reds, they just won't show impatience often. They will manipulate the situation to speed it up.

The friendzone is another topic I could talk at length about. The real shame of the topic is that people tend to either judge the males in the situation as wrong or the females in the situation as wrong (or vice versa given gender swap). The truth is, neither are in the wrong. It's just an unfortunate inevitable effect of human interaction.

http://www.aplacetolovedogs.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/asleep-in-class.jpg

Wio

08-06-2013, 10:35 PM

We could also go on to discuss how friendzoning doesn't actually exist, it's just a term coined by people who are disappointed that they didn't get what they wanted from a person. A "Nice Guy (http://www.buzzfeed.com/hnigatu/13-reasons-why-nice-guys-are-the-worst)" is an entirely different topic, too.

Not only is friendzoning a thing, but it is to everyone's advantage that they are aware of it and understand how to avoid it.

lily6270

08-06-2013, 10:44 PM

Lolz same here!! That's cause we know what they're thinking and they are soooo much cuter and just seem so perfect!
But like real guys are all stuck up and eww! Well no offense to you guys but most of you are. And anime boys are so much more... What's the word for it....... Idk but when all their thoughts are narrated and they are sooooooooo hot in the anime us girls can't help ourselves :P (^_^)

Miss Moonlight

08-06-2013, 11:24 PM

Not only is friendzoning a thing, but it is to everyone's advantage that they are aware of it and understand how to avoid it.

I don't actually believe it's a thing (this article (http://yourfriendshouse.com/2013/the-friendzone-doesnt-exist-dickhead/) explains a bit more), and therefore cannot be avoided. It's based on the principle/expectation that someone's friendship is a consolation prize for something else you actually wanted (love/sex/relationship/attention), but didn't get.

Which brings up the issue of entitlement "But I was so nice to them, did this and this this - I deserve.. " and not knowing how to deal with rejection when the person simply doesn't feel the way you do.

More specifically, the word "Friendzoned" should really just be called "Disappointment" instead.

Anime Forum

08-06-2013, 11:59 PM

I don't see how it is wrong to be turned off by attractive males because you have had repeat bad experiences with them. This is the truth, and anyone who thinks otherwise is "delusional."

Yeah, because every attractive male/female are the same. Judging all of them in one basket shows me you have yet to mature enough and really need to stopping calling people delusional when in fact that post comes off as delusional. Sure, some attractive people can be greatly annoying. Though, for every annoying attractive person there is someone less attractive who is equally as annoying.

The OP is shallow. Saying this thread isn't shallow, but saying judging anime characters by looks is shallow makes your argument look as foolish as the OP. Maybe even more foolish actually.

Pay attention by the way. The OP said good looking people are bad people. You waste energy by putting up useless comments like this and calling people trolls, but not replying to her instead? Am I supposed to take you seriously?

---------- Post added at 12:59 AM ---------- Previous post was at 12:53 AM ----------

Lolz same here!! That's cause we know what they're thinking and they are soooo much cuter and just seem so perfect!
But like real guys are all stuck up and eww! Well no offense to you guys but most of you are. And anime boys are so much more... What's the word for it....... Idk but when all their thoughts are narrated and they are sooooooooo hot in the anime us girls can't help ourselves :P (^_^)

Lol. Maybe guys you know are stuck up due to comments like this?

Capitán

08-07-2013, 12:05 AM

lairefaerie
So you want a dude similar to an anime character, but not as good looking because you don't trust good looking guys?

Wio

08-07-2013, 01:00 AM

I don't actually believe it's a thing (this article (http://yourfriendshouse.com/2013/the-friendzone-doesnt-exist-dickhead/) explains a bit more), and therefore cannot be avoided. It's based on the principle/expectation that someone's friendship is a consolation prize for something else you actually wanted (love/sex/relationship/attention), but didn't get.
It very much is a thing. It is based on a principle that friendships which don't harbor romantic feelings in the early stages never will. Thus one has a choice of being straight forward about their feelings or giving up entirely, but this need to be done early on. In doing so, the friend zone is avoided.

People who do not understand this concept will often believe that if they continue to court, eventually it will end happily. It's obvious that you can't have a friendship when there is such an imbalance of power, that one part is going to be taking the other for granted, and that it's just going to lead to a lot of bitterness in the end.

More specifically, the word "Friendzoned" should really just be called "Disappointment" instead.
Yeah, instead of calling Scooby-Doo a "dog", let's just call him an "animal" instead. That's all he really is anyway.
Honestly though, what do you have to gain by pretending the friendzone doesn't exist?

Miss Moonlight

08-07-2013, 01:54 AM

It very much is a thing. It is based on a principle that friendships which don't harbor romantic feelings in the early stages never will. Thus one has a choice of being straight forward about their feelings or giving up entirely, but this need to be done early on. In doing so, the friend zone is avoided.

... does a friendship always need to work under the pretenses of becoming something more?

People who do not understand this concept will often believe that if they continue to court, eventually it will end happily. It's obvious that you can't have a friendship when there is such an imbalance of power, that one part is going to be taking the other for granted, and that it's just going to lead to a lot of bitterness in the end.

That's why when your friend wants nothing more than friendship, you move on, even though it might be hard and painful to do so, instead of complaining about how they "friendzoned" you (which implies that you simply have problems moving on, and deserve something more.) Dealing with such disappointment is a part of life.

Yeah, instead of calling Scooby-Doo a "dog", let's just call him an "animal" instead. That's all he really is anyway.
Honestly though, what do you have to gain by pretending the friendzone doesn't exist?

If I like a guy and he's my friend -- but wants to only be friends with me, I don't consider that friendzoning. I consider that him just wanting to be friends.

And, I get nothing out of "pretending" it doesn't exist. It's my opinion it doesn't exist, for reasons i've already outlined above.

Fringie

08-07-2013, 10:36 AM

I can't blame the OP for preferring Anime guys. The fake that has very few flaws of course will be much more loved than the real; people can pretend it's not true but it is. You see this in real life, people adore famous singers etc. They might have a good voice, good lyrics, good looks but they don't know them and they still want the singer. They (in this case seem to) have less flaws (if any) so people will be drawn to that..

It's a shame really, life will always suck. I can't blame you for preferring a fake world but your going to have to pull your head out of your ass and face reality or your own life will deteriorate even more than it already has.

Ayu 「あゆ」

08-07-2013, 12:25 PM

http://f.kulfoto.com/pic/0001/0020/Gv6YU19248.jpg

Wio

08-07-2013, 02:21 PM

... does a friendship always need to work under the pretenses of becoming something more?

No, all friendships need to work under the pretense of never becoming something more, that is the point. I think I made that pretty clear.

In denying the friend zone, the implication is that trying hard enough or waiting long enough might pay out. Is that what you think? Do you know that many people for which this has worked out? I know half a dozen horror stories. Hell, I have friend zoned people. I have also brought a guy who was in the friend zone to his senses, and now he has a girlfriend who actually cares about him.

Miss Moonlight

08-07-2013, 02:45 PM

No, all friendships need to work under the pretense of never becoming something more, that is the point. I think I made that pretty clear.

In denying the friend zone, the implication is that trying hard enough or waiting long enough might pay out. Is that what you think? Do you know that many people for which this has worked out? I know half a dozen horror stories. Hell, I have friend zoned people. I have also brought a guy who was in the friend zone to his senses, and now he has a girlfriend who actually cares about him.

I am not saying that one cannot become more than friends with someone, or that it never works out. I am only disputing the concept of "friendzone" because it kind of sounds like a ridiculous concept . As in a, "oh, poor me" victim kind of mentality.

"the implication is that trying hard enough or waiting long enough might pay out. Is that what you think?"

Might "pay out"? well no, I don't consider people slot machines. Some people (both men and women), do. The fact stands, that if you're nice to someone in the hopes of them "paying out" (in the form of a relationship/sex/whatever), and then get angry when the other person rejects you, that is kind of a backwards mentality because it assumes you were entitled to something you probably weren't entitled to in the first place.

I have also brought a guy who was in the friend zone to his senses, and now he has a girlfriend who actually cares about him.

You saint.

Kaleohano

08-07-2013, 03:47 PM

We could also go on to discuss how friendzoning doesn't actually exist, it's just a term coined by people who are disappointed that they didn't get what they wanted from a person.

how's it not a real thing? you pretty much just defined it.

---------- Post added at 04:47 PM ---------- Previous post was at 04:44 PM ----------

... does a friendship always need to work under the pretenses of becoming something more?

No. A friendship is just that, friendship. There are plenty of girls i know that i'm fine just being friends with. If something happens, then something happens. If however, i get to know someone specifically to get more than just a friendship out of it, then it was never really a "friendship" to begin with. and therefore i believe i have a right to feel some level of disappointment when it turns out to be nothing more than a friendship.

International 4-8818

08-07-2013, 03:52 PM

http://i.imgur.com/7o5lEdR.gif
I refuse to say "whatever floats your boat" for this situation. I have met plenty o' kids like this at university. Outside you go!

Kaleohano

08-07-2013, 03:59 PM

It's a shame really, life will always suck.

speak for yourself. Life has cars, money, alcohol, and sex. Life is awesome!

Ayu 「あゆ」

08-07-2013, 05:31 PM

Yeah, because every attractive male/female are the same. Judging all of them in one basket shows me you have yet to mature enough and really need to stopping calling people delusional when in fact that post comes off as delusional. Sure, some attractive people can be greatly annoying. Though, for every annoying attractive person there is someone less attractive who is equally as annoying.

The OP is shallow. Saying this thread isn't shallow, but saying judging anime characters by looks is shallow makes your argument look as foolish as the OP. Maybe even more foolish actually.

Pay attention by the way. The OP said good looking people are bad people. You waste energy by putting up useless comments like this and calling people trolls, but not replying to her instead? Am I supposed to take you seriously?

trololol

Miss Moonlight

08-07-2013, 07:09 PM

how's it not a real thing? you pretty much just defined it.

I defined it as "disappointment". Obviously the TERM "friendzoning" exists. That's not what I meant. I mean the concept of "friendzoning" as a lot of people currently use it, shouldn't really exist as a thing because it's just disappointment -- nothing more. A lot of people go "aw, I just got friendzoned!" when they actually mean "I am in serious despair and disappointment because things didn't go the way I wanted them to."

The difference is, disappointment is an emotion as a result of something not going your way, which happens to everyone. "Friendzoning" sounds like someone put you there and now you must cry about you're there and don't deserve to be there, rather than just moving on.

Furthermore, the concept of the "friend zone" assumes that you're at point A, and you want to be a point B. Instead of just dealing with the disappointment and just seeing how things will work out (maybe he'll call me, maybe he won't, maybe she will go out with me, maybe she won't), it's kind of like "how do I get out the friendzone? how do I avoid the friendzone?" ... as you're automatically entitled to more than just friendship with that person, and you just have to "work" to get it. If someone isn't interested in you, they're not interested in you, and no amount of "working" to get them sexually or romantically interested in you is going to work ... unless they are actually interested in you.

Just my opinion, though.

Rylingo

08-07-2013, 08:25 PM

Ah yee old friend zone. More commonly guys get placed in it than girls because it's simply easier to mistake female friendships for something more. One cruel little phrase I've heard floating around is that, "Girls aren't sex dispensers where you put in enough nice guy coins and you get laid." The phrase quite simply doesn't work because guys in the friend zone are not just looking for sex. They're looking for a relationship. And yeah it sucks for them. Sometimes it'll suck for the girl because she may lose a friend or two to it.

The friend zone is fairly easy to get out of anyway. Either stop being a friend or stop looking for a relationship with them. Both are perfectly fine ways out.

trololol

You keep using that phrase and I'm not sure if you understand what it means. A troll is not someone who disagrees with you. A troll is not someone who is mean to you. A troll is someone purely looking to get a rise out of others, with no ulterior motives. Stop calling people a troll when they are clearly not trolling. It just makes it look like you are trying to get a rise out of them.

Miss Moonlight

08-07-2013, 09:09 PM

Ah yee old friend zone. More commonly guys get placed in it than girls because it's simply easier to mistake female friendships for something more. One cruel little phrase I've heard floating around is that, "Girls aren't sex dispensers where you put in enough nice guy coins and you get laid." The phrase quite simply doesn't work because guys in the friend zone are not just looking for sex. They're looking for a relationship. And yeah it sucks for them. Sometimes it'll suck for the girl because she may lose a friend or two to it.

That phrase only applies to Nice Guys (http://www.buzzfeed.com/hnigatu/13-reasons-why-nice-guys-are-the-worst) who act "nice" to get what they want, not all guys. And yea, it "sucks" for those guys who believe they're entitled to a relationship with a woman just because they want it. That phrase isn't really "cruel", though, it's pretty accurate. "Nice Guys" actually treat women as if they are dispensers for what they want, and if they act "nice" (instead of actually being kind), enough, they will eventually get what they want. It's a very flawed and delusional thought process.

And anyone who treats people like that does not deserve to be called a friend.

Sometimes it'll suck for the girl because she may lose a friend or two to it

"Nice Guys" aren't actual friends, though.

Kaleohano

08-07-2013, 09:32 PM

I defined it as "disappointment". Obviously the TERM "friendzoning" exists. That's not what I meant. I mean the concept of "friendzoning" as a lot of people currently use it, shouldn't really exist as a thing because it's just disappointment -- nothing more. A lot of people go "aw, I just got friendzoned!" when they actually mean "I am in serious despair and disappointment because things didn't go the way I wanted them to."

The difference is, disappointment is an emotion as a result of something not going your way, which happens to everyone. "Friendzoning" sounds like someone put you there and now you must cry about you're there and don't deserve to be there, rather than just moving on.

theres more than one way to skin a cat. "disappointment" is a very broad term that can be the result of many different things. "Friendszone" is a certain type of disappointment that has one and only one cause. its not a philosophical argument about whether or not the "friendzone" is real, its a simple definition for a word that describes a situation. All squares are rectangles, but not all rectangles are squares.

Furthermore, the concept of the "friend zone" assumes that you're at point A, and you want to be a point B. Instead of just dealing with the disappointment and just seeing how things will work out (maybe he'll call me, maybe he won't, maybe she will go out with me, maybe she won't), it's kind of like "how do I get out the friendzone? how do I avoid the friendzone?" ... as you're automatically entitled to more than just friendship with that person, and you just have to "work" to get it. If someone isn't interested in you, they're not interested in you, and no amount of "working" to get them sexually or romantically interested in you is going to work ... unless they are actually interested in you.

Just my opinion, though.

i'm a little confused by this statement. but i'ma try to respond to it. Just let me know if i completely missed the meaning of it.

Its not that i want to go from A to B. I want to go from A to C, but i'm stuck at B. Thats what friendzone is. More often than not, you have to go through B to get to C, but him/her not letting you past B creates the problem.

the last sentence of your quote describes it just right. "No amount of 'working' to get them sexually or romantically interested in you is going to work." In short, you just said "Friendzone."

Anime Forum

08-07-2013, 10:15 PM

trololol

This post is awkward. Are you trolling or are you calling me a troll? Either way you fail o_o .. Trolling is an art or at least some believe it is. When you fail to get a rise out of the person you tried to troll or troll in awkward situations, was that really a good attempt? When is it a "troll" attempt or when is it a "stupid opinion" to make seem like a troll attempt?

Am I troll? No. My opinion seems to have gotten a rise out of you though. Either way, your reputation on here keeps dropping and you were barely relevant to begin with.

Miss Moonlight

08-07-2013, 11:27 PM

Maybe you're misunderstanding me, slightly ...

"Friendszone" is a certain type of disappointment that has one and only one cause.

It's disapointment with a different name. It's not a "zone". There is no "zone". The "zone" is imaginary.

its not that i want to go from A to B. I want to go from A to C, but i'm stuck at B. Thats what friendzone is. More often than not, you have to go through B to get to C, but him/her not letting you past B creates the problem.

Right. So, if someone just isn't interested in you, and they've made that clear, you should probably stop trying. This means if I like a guy romantically, and he's my friend, but he wants to remain just friends, I shouldn't pester him to see me as more than a friend, because a) that's annoying, and b), that's not how relationships actually work. He didn't actually put me in some sort of zone ... he just was not interested in me the way I was in him.

An odd (but good) example is from the show "Family Matters". Basically, throughout the entire show, Steve Urkel annoys Laura endlessly into dating him. She never does, because she sees him as an annoying and nerdy guy who is constantly wreaking havoc around her and her family. Urkel has a girlfriend at some point, but his "true love" is still Laura. The point is, he doesn't take "no" for an answer. He keeps on trying, pouring his heart out to her, even though he knows she doesn't like him. He became so desperate later on that he transformed himself into the much more handsome and suave "Stefan", and then this works for a little while until Laura realizes that Stefan is too perfect and she doesn't really love him. She ends up with Urkel at the end ...

It sounds "romantic", but the fact remains that he didn't stop at hearing "no" ... he just kept bugging the crap out of her until she relented. Which is a little creepy and obsessive.

But I digress. Anyway ...

the last sentence of your quote describes it just right. "No amount of 'working' to get them sexually or romantically interested in you is going to work." In short, you just said "Friendzone."

I was talking about disappointment in relationships in general. In the context of a "friend zone", it's different. Perhaps if I explain further.

It is precisely this:

Disappointment is one thing. "Friendzone" just sounds bitter. It's kind of like "aw, man ... I really like this person, and all I got was their crappy friendship ..." or at least that's how it comes off to me. As in, you don't really value their friendship or them as a person, because you wanted something more.

Basically ... persecution complex, persecution complex everywhere. The "Friendzone" mentality appears to be blaming the person you're interested in for not being interested in you, for not letting you attain another "level", and for putting you in this imaginary "zone", and it reeks of insecurity and not being able to properly deal with rejection.

Fringie

08-07-2013, 11:38 PM

speak for yourself. Life has cars, money, alcohol, and sex. Life is awesome!

Well I guess it depends on what people define as a good life.

Ayu 「あゆ」

08-08-2013, 12:31 PM

I'm one of those who thinks the term "friendzone" is a just copout word people use to whine and complain because she's just not that into you right now.

Kaleohano

08-08-2013, 03:52 PM

Well I guess it depends on what people define as a good life.

cars, money, alcohol, and sex isnt a bad place to start.

Rylingo

08-08-2013, 06:34 PM

That phrase only applies to Nice Guys (http://www.buzzfeed.com/hnigatu/13-reasons-why-nice-guys-are-the-worst) who act "nice" to get what they want, not all guys. And yea, it "sucks" for those guys who believe they're entitled to a relationship with a woman just because they want it. That phrase isn't really "cruel", though, it's pretty accurate. "Nice Guys" actually treat women as if they are dispensers for what they want, and if they act "nice" (instead of actually being kind), enough, they will eventually get what they want. It's a very flawed and delusional thought process.

I'm sorry the phrase is cruel and bullshit. Most of these people are not tricking friends into sex. They are searching for relationships. To state that they are searching for sex is just plain old wrong. Sex isn't that difficult to find. A good relationship is. They just don't know how to look for a relationship.

They don't "believe they're entitled to a relationship". A lot of them believe they are on the way to a relationship. They're just too socially inexperienced to understand they are going nowhere. I'm a big fan of Hanlon's razor. Don't put to malice what could be put to stupidity. To me the friend zone has been more of a construct of inexperience and stupidity than it has of people being entitled. I honestly think you are to harsh on such a large section of people who are merely seeking love in the wrong place. I feel sorry for them.

And anyone who treats people like that does not deserve to be called a friend.

Deserve, not deserve... does it matter? They aren't manipulating peoples friendship to steal love. They think they are using the appropriate path. You are correct I suppose. They are not a friend. This doesn't make them evil though. Just wrong.

I'm one of those who thinks the term "friendzone" is a just copout word people use to whine and complain because she's just not that into you right now.

Sure it's a bit of a copout term for some kids struggling to understand why he/she likes you as a friend but nothing. Still it's an understandable position. You want a romantic relationship, you think its leading somewhere but infact you've been moving towards long term friendship the whole time. People make this error all the time.