View Full Version : The Anime and Manga Character Handbook

06-04-2012, 03:27 PM

Anyone else read this yet? it's pretty funny and amazingly accurate. it's got all the cliche's and everyont from anime in it.

From the section describing the layout of an anime highschool


Complete privacy from the opposite sex…. Ha! Just kidding! The locks?
They don’t work. Privacy? Forget about it. Showering, bathing, using the
toilet, washing your hands, smoking, or making out with someone… you have
no privacy, least of all in the bathroom. Where people can’t follow you the
camera will. At least once a week someone who should not be there will walk
in through the wrong door, need to use a toilet when all the rest are full, or
flat out appear out of thin air. Get used to it and be glad you left the creepy
old guy back at your house.

The Basement
It’s best to avoid the school’s basement. Whether because it’s the perfect
place for a horror scene, leads to a maze that spreads for miles underground
in every direction, or because you may run into the janitor who still laments
his failure to train electric mice to cockfight. If you have to go down there
take the smart kid who can spend the time before something bad happens
fixing the boiler so it won’t keep breaking down every week or who can figure
out what the weird machines and ancient artifacts are about.

The Dorms
Since the only person waiting at home is a creepy old guy or your
suspiciously sexy mother, it’s probably best to move out as soon as possible.
Which is why despite the year round uniforms and strict rules, many kids
would rather live on campus than not. Especially since this way they never
have to cross the Courtyard.
Be sure you want to live here before you move in. Living in a boarding school
means you may develop a strange accent completely different from your
friends and family.

Fromt he part on the 7 anime sins...

Having Children
The star of a major anime cannot have kids. They cramp your style, take up all that money you need for mecha parts and sword polish, and they get into all those family secrets you’ve been trying to keep.

What happens if I do this? The kid either unleashes the horrible evil you’ve been trying to contain and becomes the hero or villain while you have to go off to work to pay for the property damage or they get kidnapped or engaged (sometimes to the same person/thing) and you have to deal with it. You have to train them or their kids, sacrifice your life to save theirs, or maybe they will turn on you and kill you. As an anime character you could conceivably live forever… unless you have kids.

What can I do about it? You could try to kill the kid. But if you are a good guy that usually isn’t an answer unless they are possessed by some unspeakable evil, which you probably can’t kill anyway. I suggest either abandoning your family or adopting the kid out. You can’t take the time to care for it/them like you should, so drop the little brats off at your nearest relative, your spouse, or orphanage and never talk to them again. That way, even if they think you are dead, you’ll get to show up again later and help them out in some cool way. In the meantime you get a good fifteen to twenty years where you don’t have to think twice about them while you are off having adventures. Besides, do you know how much it sucks sticking around a house where every hot member of the opposite sex wants your kid and not you?