[Dra+KoI]とある竜の恋の歌 Translation help

[Buguraukusu]

こんにちは　みんなさん！

First of all, I'm still studying Japanese and I'm not very good at it yet. Though I lack the linguistic skills, I wanted to try translating a song because the lyrics sounded pretty simple and I couldn't find English translation for it. I hate to admit it, but I had to use help of two dictionaries (and as ridiculous as it sounds, I even used Google Translate. This is my first translation so be gentle, please ;_;).
So if any of you has time and interest, could you please check how badly I did and correct my errors.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gmJ1tgn2G-o

Song of love of a certain dragon


Dragon in a story
In dragon's time
In dragon's hope
In dragon's error
In dragon's truth
In dragon's dream
In dragon's fate
In dragon's cause
In dragon's love


Sound without land
The song of love, fluffy sound
Deviation in taking out a gear
Cracking the unstopable fate

Resurrected immeaditely from antiquity
Love of desolated awoked

Seeking a bond
The gush of flames
Destruction and regeneration
Your noble curse


Dragon in a story
In dragon's time
In dragon's hope
In dragon's error
In dragon's truth
In dragon's dream
In dragon's fate
In dragon's cause
In dragon's love


Transparent soul
Even lie calms down nobly
Facing the original sins
Immature love　requires no stupidity

Moonlight now illumes two
Time of the transient
Important proof

Whereabouts of the bond
Embraced with both hands
The end and the beginning
Memories of the precious you


In dragon's time
In dragon's hope
In dragon's error
In dragon's truth
In dragon's dream
In dragon's fate
In dragon's cause
In dragon's love


Seeking a bond
The gush of flames
Destruction and regeneration
Your noble curse
Whereabouts of the bond
Embraced with both hands
The beginning and the end
Memories of the precious you


Dragon in a story
In dragon's time
In dragon's hope
In dragon's error
In dragon's truth
In dragon's dream
In dragon's fate
In dragon's cause
In dragon's love

Few notes:
-Latin parts are in italic and should be correct. You may check them too if you want to. "In dracone..." isn't a genetive exactly, though "In dragon's..." sounds much better than the literal translation "In dragon...".
- I know that the last two lines of the 2nd verse don't make very much sense, but I had no idea how else to say it. What it means is 'Changing the flow of time', which I didn't want to use because I tried to make the translation as literal as possible (except for the Latin part).
- After 3rd verse, the Japanese parts seem to be off again. Simply, read every other line and it should clarify.

ありがとうございます！

[AzureDark]

Kanji here as ref.


Draco in fabula
In dracone hora
In dracone spes
In dracone error
In dracone veritas
In dracone somnium
In dracone fatum
In dracone causa
In dracone amor

音のない大地に　恋の歌 響けば
狂い出す歯車
止められぬ宿命が
はじけた
蘇る 今 いにしえより
寂寞の恋 目覚めた
絆を求めて
炎はほとばしる
破壊と再生
気高き君の呪縛

Draco in fabula
In dracone hora
In dracone spes
In dracone error
In dracone veritas
In dracone somnium
In dracone fatum
In dracone causa
In dracone amor

透き通る魂
嘘もなく気高く
原罪を抱えて
未熟な恋 求む 愚かさ
月明かり 今 ふたり照らす
束の間の時 重ねた
絆の行方を
両手で抱きしめた
終わりと始まり
貴き君の記憶

In dracone hora
In dracone spes
In dracone error
In dracone veritas
In dracone somnium
In dracone fatum
In dracone causa
In dracone amor

絆を求めて
炎はほとばしる
破壊と再生
気高き君の呪縛
絆の行方を
両手で抱きしめた
終わりと始まり
貴き君の記憶

Draco in fabula
In dracone hora
In dracone spes
In dracone error
In dracone veritas
In dracone somnium
In dracone fatum
In dracone causa
In dracone amo

animeyay can testify if the Latin is right. It's great to have a Latin-speaking admin eh? Sadly not even Nichijou tried to do one in Malay...

音のない大地に　恋の歌 響けば
>Sound without land
>The song of love, fluffy sound
I'm assuming that you haven't learned the -ba verb form (conditional) yet.

狂い出す歯車
止められぬ宿命が
はじけた
>Deviation in taking out a gear
>Cracking the unstopable fate
And your compounds and transitive/intransitive...

蘇る 今 いにしえより
寂寞の恋 目覚めた
>Resurrected immeaditely from antiquity
>Love of desolated awoked
It's "awakened" not "awoked"...

>I tried to make the translation as literal as possible (except for the Latin part).
*crashes head into keyboard*...

Eh, I, uh, no offense but, not that I DON'T wanna help you (I'd prolly type up a longer discussion later but not now I'm busy) but, the greatest problem I find is how you think the lyrics are easy. Dude. This is Nitroplus we're talking about... don't you think you should try something easier without hard words like 寂寞 to start translating with? Yes they say start with love songs and this is one, but try something coming from a less messed-up galge company rather please...

[animeyay]

-Latin parts are in italic and should be correct. You may check them too if you want to. "In dracone..." isn't a genetive exactly, though "In dragon's..." sounds much better than the literal translation "In dragon..."
Draco in fabula is definitely "[There's] a dragon in a story"

However, hora, spes, error, veritas, somnium, fatum, causa, amor are all in the nominative case, so using "dracone" as a genitive might be a bit inaccurate? in dracone hora = "[there's] time in the dragon" or "that dragon has time", so:

There's a dragon in the story.
The dragon has/had time,
...hope,
...error,
...truth,
...dream,
...fate,
...reason,
...love.

More liberally, you could try "The dragon went through time, hope, error, etc."?

[Buguraukusu]

I'm assuming that you haven't learned the -ba verb form (conditional) yet.

And your compounds and transitive/intransitive...
Told ya, I'm still learning, so no, haven't heard of that yet, that's why I asked your opinion.
I'd take courses more often but my school doesn't offer them and I definitely don't want to spend my money on a thing that I can get for free. It's easy to study words on your own but grammar is not.


>translation as literal as possible.
*crashes head into keyboard*...
I know that it's not the way to do it, but why should I start making proper lyrics before I'm sure about the meanings? It's much easier to go with separate phrases at first than make singable lyrics directly.



you think the lyrics are easy
I never said they were easy.

the lyrics sounded pretty simple
Obviously they weren't and I was mistaken. If no one offers to help me, I may as well erase my posts in order to save myself from further embarrassment.

[AzureDark]

>It's much easier to go with separate phrases at first than make singable lyrics directly.
Actually we don't do singable lyrics here, either. While I acknowledge that literal translation is a way of translating things, ultimately you want a translation to give a similar meaning in English to what it is trying to tell in Japanese. That almost never make singable lyrics. You may have mistook what I was indicating as wanting you to translate it into singable.
Secondly, lines in songs never make a complete sentence, you need to join them up so that the translation makes more sense and contribute to the big picture. What you have:

Sound without land
The song of love, fluffy sound
Deviation in taking out a gear
Cracking the unstopable fate
sound disjointed (although you tried).

A literal t/l goes like this;
When the song of love resonates in the land of no sound
The gears start to feverishly (turn)
The unstoppable fate　is released

But a literal t/l doesn't exactly reveal the connection which, in a meaningful t/l, uses a skill called inference:
When the love song beams across the silent land
The gears start to grind
Setting into motion　the inevitable fate
and the lines become one whole sentence.

[Sankyo Sentina]

The translation you needed it meant "hello everyone" in hiragana. one of the most common writing systems