Aku no Hikari
06-09-2011, 10:14 AM
This time my problems are mostly with English vocabulary. If anything isn't right, please inform this poor soul. (Romaji here (http://www.animelyrics.com/doujin/syncarts/thepacifier.htm).)
「夢ならよかった」と
悔やんだ言葉を
夢へと返して
"It's alright as long as it was a dream..."
these words I mourned,
send them back to the dream
哀しみ、楽園を染めれば
憂いの溜息を吐く
When paradise is dyed with sorrow,
you'd be uttering sighs of grief
吹き荒れる災いが
神の仕業でも
思惑を断ち切れるなら
Devastating calamities
are acts of God
But if they will break my hopes,
Couldn't find more suitable words to translate this one...
この幻想(ゆめ)を
必ず守ってみせるから
独りで舞い上がる大空へ
I'll show you
that I'll definitely keep holding my dream
And I'll soar high up in the sky by myself
突き刺す激しさが
余りに大きくても
恐れない
信じるこの力があれば
Even if the impulse of the thrust
is going to be vast,
I won't fear it
as long as I have this power to believe
誰もが重ならぬ
欲望持つなら
均衡は保ち
If everyone held
non-cumulative desires,
equilibrium would be preserved
Ugh... this is a rather technical way to put it. Any help to make it more poetic? >_<
それこそあり得ない
理想か
虚しく独り笑って
Is that particularly
an impossible ideal?
I lamented this alone in vain
もたらされた力に
踊らされる者
哀しみを繰り返すなら
If the one being manipulated
by the power brought upon him
will repeat the same sadness,
I'm not sure about this preposition...
Also, I don't quite understand why it's in the passive voice. Shouldn't it be "the power he brought himself"? ... or something to show that kind of irony?
その幻想(ゆめ)を
必ず殺してみせるから
独りで飛び立てる暗闇へ
I'll show you
that I'll definitely kill that dream
And I'll leap into the darkness by myself
揺らめく幻惑に
心がほだされても
振り切れる
想いの強さだけがあれば
Even if my heart is captivated
by the wavering glamor,
I can shake it off
if I only have the strength of my will
思いがけぬ因果に
裂かれた絆も
運命を動かせるなら
If our bonds which were torn apart
by the unpredictable karma
can change our fate,
Just to be sure, 思いがく is 思い描(えが)く... right? It's a kinda strange (pragmatic?) contraction.
その幻想(ゆめ)を
必ず届けてみせるから
独りで立ち向かう絶望に
I'll show you
that I'll definitely conduct this dream
And I'll face despair by myself
傷付く対価には
何も望まないだろう
今までと変わらぬ
この世界があれば
As for the compensation for my wounds,
I do not ask for anything
as long as this world
remains the way it's always been
Thanks! (:
「夢ならよかった」と
悔やんだ言葉を
夢へと返して
"It's alright as long as it was a dream..."
these words I mourned,
send them back to the dream
哀しみ、楽園を染めれば
憂いの溜息を吐く
When paradise is dyed with sorrow,
you'd be uttering sighs of grief
吹き荒れる災いが
神の仕業でも
思惑を断ち切れるなら
Devastating calamities
are acts of God
But if they will break my hopes,
Couldn't find more suitable words to translate this one...
この幻想(ゆめ)を
必ず守ってみせるから
独りで舞い上がる大空へ
I'll show you
that I'll definitely keep holding my dream
And I'll soar high up in the sky by myself
突き刺す激しさが
余りに大きくても
恐れない
信じるこの力があれば
Even if the impulse of the thrust
is going to be vast,
I won't fear it
as long as I have this power to believe
誰もが重ならぬ
欲望持つなら
均衡は保ち
If everyone held
non-cumulative desires,
equilibrium would be preserved
Ugh... this is a rather technical way to put it. Any help to make it more poetic? >_<
それこそあり得ない
理想か
虚しく独り笑って
Is that particularly
an impossible ideal?
I lamented this alone in vain
もたらされた力に
踊らされる者
哀しみを繰り返すなら
If the one being manipulated
by the power brought upon him
will repeat the same sadness,
I'm not sure about this preposition...
Also, I don't quite understand why it's in the passive voice. Shouldn't it be "the power he brought himself"? ... or something to show that kind of irony?
その幻想(ゆめ)を
必ず殺してみせるから
独りで飛び立てる暗闇へ
I'll show you
that I'll definitely kill that dream
And I'll leap into the darkness by myself
揺らめく幻惑に
心がほだされても
振り切れる
想いの強さだけがあれば
Even if my heart is captivated
by the wavering glamor,
I can shake it off
if I only have the strength of my will
思いがけぬ因果に
裂かれた絆も
運命を動かせるなら
If our bonds which were torn apart
by the unpredictable karma
can change our fate,
Just to be sure, 思いがく is 思い描(えが)く... right? It's a kinda strange (pragmatic?) contraction.
その幻想(ゆめ)を
必ず届けてみせるから
独りで立ち向かう絶望に
I'll show you
that I'll definitely conduct this dream
And I'll face despair by myself
傷付く対価には
何も望まないだろう
今までと変わらぬ
この世界があれば
As for the compensation for my wounds,
I do not ask for anything
as long as this world
remains the way it's always been
Thanks! (: