Mother Publicly Humiliates Son Over Bad Grades

[Vintniv]

Basically, a mother has had enough of her son failing in school (1.222 GPA). After taking away his cell phone, grounding him, she has resorted to having him stand on a street corner with a sign informing passersby that he's failing.

Source: http://www.parentdish.com/2011/02/22/smackdown-would-you-publicly-punish-your-child/?icid=maing|aim|dl5|sec1_lnk3|45622 (http://www.parentdish.com/2011/02/22/smackdown-would-you-publicly-punish-your-child/?icid=maing%7Caim%7Cdl5%7Csec1_lnk3%7C45622)


Thoughts? Opinions? More ideas on how to publicly humiliate your own offspring?

[TadashiED]

LOL this is unreal...

Moral of the story:
Get good grades!

But still, is this not a little bit overboard? Mothers these days..

[animeyay]

Two surprises from me:

1. That the child would obediently do it.
2. That this did not take place in Asia.

[Skylar1]

I worry as to the psychological implications of this for the child..

and, if his mother did something that rash because his grades, WHO KNOWS what other kinds of abuse this woman has done to him.

[Meenah]

Thats beyond punishment but if it straightens up the kid, well. I can't argue with that. Probably the kid's mother really had enough.
In addition to this, she cares too much and you don't see a lot of parents like that. You can bring a horse to the river, but you can't force the horse to drink. Its a lot like that and its how I see it. All she can waste her saliva talking, yelling and screaming at her son and he wouldn't care. She shouldn't care so much either. For her to do that, as I said, she really must have had enough and it probably had pushed her to do something humiliating like that. It doesn't matter what social status you are in the society, if you don't care, you don't care.

Now if a kid has difficulty learning, its different. And other situations are different. From reading this, it clearly shows that this kid just don't care at all. >_> Meh idk.


Instead, why not try sitting down and helping him with his homework? Or reaching out to school teachers, staff and a tutor for support and help? Or seek counseling? (For herself, of course.)

Perhaps she had done that. But do we know their personal life? So why make the judgement? I'm looking at both side, and to fairly say this; it wasn't good that she did that. No doubt about it, but why the hell she would do that? If a mother loves the kid so much, they would do everything but I guess she was just fed up. Thats all, she must of did everything to get her son to straighten up. Not only "she needs counseling", so does her son to figure out why he's doing it. I think things could have been done differently, but honestly feel bad for the both of them. At the same time, think her son needs to f*cking grow up.

Reading further in the article, it mentions "abuse". Abuse, from what I know, its a constant thing. Again, maybe she's been abused by him in a way that it emotionally hurts her because he doesn't care. >_> When parents are trying to do something good, it looks bad. Thats a shame. Meh I'll say more when I have a chance I guess. I'm tired.

[Shinn Kamiyra]

Not that I don't applaud the woman's efforts for publicly humiliating her son in such a visible way, but I can't see as how this is going to get him to study harder. It's akin to torture in the sense that you'll pretty much do anything to make it stop, but that doesn't mean you're going to give your torturer what they want.

Now sure I don't understand the kid's situation or what the mother has already tried to do, but I believe she should stick to positive reinforcement and try to come to a mutual understanding with her son so they can both get what they want. If she keeps pushing the proverbial envelope in this manner; not only do I think her son's grades won't improve, but he'll just end up hating her.

Now that we have that out of the way, if it were me in that mother's position, I wouldn't have stopped at having him simply stand outside. Facebook accounts, AIM/MSN profile pages, a sign laminated and super glued onto his backpack, various requests made to teachers and personal visits to all of his classrooms. Hell, maybe I'd even bribe a student volunteer at the office to let me make a public announcement over the intercom system. That kid would either get his grades up or suffer humiliation on such an unbearable level I'd be considered for cruel and unusual punishment.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1P526n6wfP4

[Anoleis]

I salute her, but, to be more effective, she should have used Christmas lights.

[Skilero]

Basically, a mother has had enough of her son failing in school (1.222 GPA). After taking away his cell phone, grounding him, she has resorted to having him stand on a street corner with a sign informing passersby that he's failing.
Source: http://www.parentdish.com/2011/02/22/smackdown-would-you-publicly-punish-your-child/?icid=maing|aim|dl5|sec1_lnk3|45622 (http://www.parentdish.com/2011/02/22/smackdown-would-you-publicly-punish-your-child/?icid=maing%7Caim%7Cdl5%7Csec1_lnk3%7C45622)
Thoughts? Opinions? More ideas on how to publicly humiliate your own offspring?

Why is she still supporting/paying for his college? Because his mother cares. Obviously this is how she disciplines when there are no other viable methods left. And hey, this sign-holding act might've been lucrative - we'll never know. From a realistic standpoint, she should've gotten a doctor for him before resorting to public humiliation.

How would I publicly humiliate my own offspring? Well, in America the kids can't take it if they don't have their cellular phones. To humiliate them I'd just never buy one and let the tough love take effect from there.

[Nene-Chan]

Well injustice is served!

Both of them could learn something! Real or not xl

The Parent

-Honestly, don't over react x.X
-Talk it out (smoothly)


The Child

-Keep your grades up
-Get help, don't just stand there in defeat!

[Chewbaka]

Ha.

I'm suprised other mothers haven't done the same, for lower GPA's. I know I was close to it. >_>
Still though, this is awesome.

[Miss Moonlight]

I don't see why anyone approves of this. Isn't it obvious that she's only doing this to make herself feel better? as in, she's getting mad because her son is not living up to HER expectations, not because she wants the best for him and wants him to do well.

As for the psychological implications, i'm pretty sure the pressures already put on him by an already demanding school and workload will help when coupled with the pressures put on him by mommy dearest. Oh, and i'm sure it will do wonders for his anxiety levels when he's taking a huge test. Putting a big "STUPID" sticker on your child is one way to help them fail hardcore, and so what this mother is doing way beyond counterproductive. Not everyone learns exactly the same way and not everyone is able to get a 393939 GPA.

And maybe he's not a "slacker" ... unless he's genuinely NOT trying, not putting forth any effort, or just generally misbehaving; maybe he either has a learning disability or just cannot understand the material enough to get passing grades.

Way to go mom. Way to go. Now all he has to do is get hooked on WoW and have his mom take it away, and he'll be all set.

[dumbo]

I salute her, but, to be more effective, she should have used Christmas lights.

LOL!!!..or even better...but still i feel sorry about that dude...

[Hanamaru Kunikida]

1.22 GPA? I lol'd. Anyyyways, I don't think humiliating him like this would change matters at all. Not to be judgmental but kid looks like a thug to me, and like Seung said...it looks like he doesn't care at all.

I don't really approve of this, humiliation is never a way to solve things, the only thing you achieve is bringing frustration to the child. But like I said, he really looks to me like he doesn't care.


Two surprises from me:

1. That the child would obediently do it.
2. That this did not take place in Asia.

Black moms>>Asian moms...

I would be more scare of the former than the latter.

[Anoleis]

As in, she's getting mad because her son is not living up to HER expectations, not because she wants the best for him and wants him to do well.

A 1.2 GPA isn't even up to state expectations.

[SigmaSD]

I don't see why anyone approves of this. Isn't it obvious that she's only doing this to make herself feel better? as in, she's getting mad because her son is not living up to HER expectations, not because she wants the best for him and wants him to do well.

As for the psychological implications, i'm pretty sure the pressures already put on him by an already demanding school and workload will help when coupled with the pressures put on him by mommy dearest. Oh, and i'm sure it will do wonders for his anxiety levels when he's taking a huge test. Putting a big "STUPID" sticker on your child is one way to help them fail hardcore, and so what this mother is doing way beyond counterproductive. Not everyone learns exactly the same way and not everyone is able to get a 393939 GPA.

And maybe he's not a "slacker" ... unless he's genuinely NOT trying, not putting forth any effort, or just generally misbehaving; maybe he either has a learning disability or just cannot understand the material enough to get passing grades.

Way to go mom. Way to go. Now all he has to do is get hooked on WoW and have his mom take it away, and he'll be all set.

While I agree, I also don't think he's old enough to know that he needs help if his grades are that low. By that age its not just the parent's responsibility, but the child's as well. As stated earlier, that's not up to state standards either so something is definitely wrong. It does sound like a harsh punishment, but when you do all you can to try to get your children to raise their grades what else can you do? Look at the bright side, at least she didn't resort to violence like most mothers would.

You can tell his GPA is that low cause he actually went along with it. *facepalms*

But to be honest, this kid had it easy. My mom would always threaten to come to my school and stand right next to me during every one of my classes if I ever got low grades. And knowing my mom, she would have done it. And to make matters worse, she said she wouldn't fix herself and would wear lounge wear, so you know that wouldn't have gone well. (PS- She sort of did it with my brother, but that was in kindergarten and they forced her to leave)

[Hanamaru Kunikida]

But to be honest, this kid had it easy. My mom would always threaten to come to my school and stand right next to me during every one of my classes if I ever got low grades. And knowing my mom, she would have done it. )

This x 100.

[Shinn Kamiyra]

While I agree, I also don't think he's old enough to know that he needs help if his grades are that low. By that age its not just the parent's responsibility, but the child's as well. As stated earlier, that's not up to state standards either so something is definitely wrong. It does sound like a harsh punishment, but when you do all you can to try to get your children to raise their grades what else can you do? Look at the bright side, at least she didn't resort to violence like most mothers would.

You can tell his GPA is that low cause he actually went along with it. *facepalms*

But to be honest, this kid had it easy. My mom would always threaten to come to my school and stand right next to me during every one of my classes if I ever got low grades. And knowing my mom, she would have done it. And to make matters worse, she said she wouldn't fix herself and would wear lounge wear, so you know that wouldn't have gone well. (PS- She sort of did it with my brother, but that was in kindergarten and they forced her to leave)

Lol. Wow, sounds like you have quite the mother.

@ bold: -Chuckles- Maybe, maybe. But, much in the same way as it would be better to try to reform many criminals, wouldn't it be in a child's best interest to try to reform his/her behavior rather than simple punishment? Sure, a whole bunch of children can be ignorant when it comes to the true important of their grades and how it can impact their future, but sometimes you've just gotta dig in your heels and work at it to get it through their thick little skulls of how they need to be paying more attention and studying harder.

How is it a parent should go about doing that? Tough question, IMO. But I would hope a parent can come to understand their child, at least to a degree to inspire a motivation towards their future.

[Cantelope]

The way we do it in Asian families is make it feel like the child's life is in danger if any grades below an A are earned.

[Anuket]

I've got to agree with @animeyay (http://www.animeforum.com/member.php?u=229110): I'm really surprised that this didn't happen in Asia, but then again @Kaitou+ (http://www.animeforum.com/member.php?u=160634): maybe right that Black moms are scarier than Asian moms. >_>

In my opinion since this happened in the U.S. it may seems overboard for most people, psychologists and child protective centers would see this as abusive but if you live somewhere in Asian people's reactions would be like "meh, the usual" and trust me what she did isn't half as bad as most Asian moms would. What she did may affect the child somehow but as many of us can see this kid is somewhat a thug? He had it coming for himself and I think he just doesn't care at all. This mom who definitely needs counseling and so does the kid is just fed up, I would if I were in her shoes. To be honest, what she did wasn't that bad at all. Take that from someone like me who has been threatened by my own mother that if ever I get grades lower than 1.75 in college I'd lose everything. >_>

I assume a lot of people haven't heard of the Tiger Mom from China, try being the child of that mom and you'll know what I mean.

Tiger Mom; Read me. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tiger_mom)

[Wio]

If he has such a low GPA yet is obedient to his mom, something is very wrong.

[animeyay]

Oh noooooo, not the tiger mom!
It was all over the news (at least in the US) just one or two weeks ago. I criticized/condemned her to all of the people I know already. XD

[Anuket]

Oh noooooo, not the tiger mom!
It was all over the news (at least in the US) just one or two weeks ago. I criticized/condemned her to all of the people I know already. XD


XD I know right, she has finally succeed in making Asian moms look like tigers, literally. >_>

[animeyay]

XD I know right, she has finally succeed in making Asian moms look like tigers, literally. >_>
ikr!! I can totally picture my mom in her war uniform, with a war flag in her left hand and a war trumpet in her right, with the wind and sands a-blowing around her, as she shouts to me: "how dare you get a B!?" >.<
Oh did I mention my mom's Chinese zodiac is Tiger......?

[Anuket]

ikr!! I can totally picture my mom in her war uniform, with a war flag in her left hand and a war trumpet in her right, with the wind and sands a-blowing around her, as she shouts to me: "how dare you get a B!?" >.<
Oh did I mention my mom's Chinese zodiac is Tiger......?

I know how you feel, I can picture the same thing for my mom and plus her Chinese zodiac sign is Snake... she'd probably attack me from behind while I doze off. XD

[Robin Sena]

What cruelty!! There is such a thing as overdoing it.

[FMX500]

Basically, a mother has had enough of her son failing in school (1.222 GPA). After taking away his cell phone, grounding him, she has resorted to having him stand on a street corner with a sign informing passersby that he's failing.

Source: http://www.parentdish.com/2011/02/22/smackdown-would-you-publicly-punish-your-child/?icid=maing|aim|dl5|sec1_lnk3|45622 (http://www.parentdish.com/2011/02/22/smackdown-would-you-publicly-punish-your-child/?icid=maing%7Caim%7Cdl5%7Csec1_lnk3%7C45622)


Thoughts? Opinions? More ideas on how to publicly humiliate your own offspring?

Should she be mentally examined....?

[Meenah]

Kids should be lucky to have an education. Theres many kids out there (and I also mean out of the states) that can't go to school for various of reasons. Now if this kid with a 1.2 GPA doesn't care, well tough sh*t. Its a shame. Its also why when I see news about kids being hurt emotionally or physically, I kind of look at it in a different way, both good side and bad. But I always keep this in mind "I don't know their lifestyle, and I will try to think of other scenarios instead of judging what is being said in front of me." >_> The media exaggerates, and when I read it, one side makes the other one "look bad" so it would gain publicity sympathy to one and hate the other.

With my parents, what they do is build a foundation for all of us for school. They have principles and they stick to it through out our schooling careers. They're not strict about it, believe it or not. They get concerned and they get involved with our homework. When we're out, they call school and ask what they can do and my parents voluntarily helps us with our work. I have Cs a few times in my life, and some times they went a bit lower. >_< But they didn't flip out on it as I thought. They told me and my brother and sisters to try harder, most importantly they want us to care and value what we have.

Putting effort, trying and caring matters. My parents will flip out big time we flat out don't care. Thats just it. Maybe when you think about it, maybe this is what the kid's mom want: her son to care.

[dream magician]

Well, that was embarassing for the kid and a little overrated for the mom.
At any point, I see this as bad-- I used to think that mothers understand their children best but, now, well, that changes things.

[Furore]

Eh, whatever. If school's not the kid's thing, that's cool.
He could always become a tradesman, garbo or a criminal.

I do feel kinda bad for the mum though. It does suck wanting the best for someone only to have them refuse it.
Was it justified? That doesn't matter, it's her kid and she's responsible for raising him.

[blueangel06661]

Well the kid probably brought it onto himself. I mean if it's THAT low you must be beyond lazy. Even in my lazy years it's at least a 2.0 or something. Plus the sign said he did 4 questions on the FCAT and said that he wasn't going to do it. That's a HUGE state test. Up until recently if you didn't pass this test you didn't pass the grade. And he just blew it off.

And if I had to hold up a sign like that... I'd hold it up with pride and the "yeaaaah boiiii" type of attitude. Makes it more enjoyable :] I mean the mom wasn't physically abusing him or anything. I've seen parents do worse.

[brolyx74]

That is terrible, and I don't really think it would result in the kid improving his grades, but it provided some mild entertainment, so I'll allow it.

[Vintniv]

Isnt this a fun thread, I should do this more often.


I think it might be important to keep in mind that a GPA is based upon the average of all your class's grades. So, its like 6 classes, and is based on a system where an F is 0 points, a D is 1 point, etc. This kid has a very low D average, 63-64% in all of his classes. this is of course by USA standards, I am sure its very different in other countries.

But anyway, lets all keep in mind what matters to kids. Like, AF for example. You get punished via your internet being removed. Well how bad is that? Got some friends with phones or computers? Of course you do. Local library or coffee shop with free Wifi? Yessir. So losing items doesnt really matter to your youth.

BUT, what does matter is their social standing. Ruin that, and you ruin them. The last thing any one of us wants to lose is our social value. I mean, seriously, how many of you have viciously fought to maintain your internet personality just on AF?

I say, this is the best thing for him. You want respect? Better earn it.

[Aleyna]

I could think of things far more worse and more effect then having to hold a sign. No wonder why the kid is failing if he has a mom like that that can't come up with a good and effect punishment.

[-GAZKUL-]

Ahhh thank science that the GPA is a non existent think in the UK!!!!!!

[DOOM!]

Hah, I've been slapped to the ground and dragged away in front of my classmates, teacher, bullies and crushes, at the end of 4th grade because I didn't even get a consolation mention on the best students list. And later at home, she had me get naked and beat me with a few slim decorational wood sticks till they all broke. Probably had some other troubles on her mind that she needed to take out on me, but you know that they say: a little childish trauma builds character.

[Light Buster]

What...?

What is going on with mothers these days? My parents may end up like this if this catches on.

[Hanamaru Kunikida]

Well the kid probably brought it onto himself. I mean if it's THAT low you must be beyond lazy. Even in my lazy years it's at least a 2.0 or something. Plus the sign said he did 4 questions on the FCAT and said that he wasn't going to do it. That's a HUGE state test. Up until recently if you didn't pass this test you didn't pass the grade. And he just blew it off.

And if I had to hold up a sign like that... I'd hold it up with pride and the "yeaaaah boiiii" type of attitude. Makes it more enjoyable :] I mean the mom wasn't physically abusing him or anything. I've seen parents do worse.



And you need to pass the FCAT to graduate so....yeah.

[Zetsubou-Billy]

Two surprises from me:

1. That the child would obediently do it.
2. That this did not take place in Asia.
Chain that kid to a pole. Problem solved.

[ELR]

BUT, what does matter is their social standing. Ruin that, and you ruin them. The last thing any one of us wants to lose is our social value. I mean, seriously, how many of you have viciously fought to maintain your internet personality just on AF?

I don't mean to over step your opinion but not all kids worry about their social standing. There are also those who just don't care about anything at all and will just sit back and let things go as they are around them.



Well, that was embarassing for the kid and a little overrated for the mom.
At any point, I see this as bad-- I used to think that mothers understand their children best but, now, well, that changes things.

With time parent's become less and less able to understand their children. And sometimes to keep a child from thinking they are the controller instead of the controlly (v.v Not such a word but still, and maybe not the right word for this) and think they can do as they please.



Should she be mentally examined....?

Don't think it was a mental moment, I think it was more of trying to get her child to take it serious, showing him just a little to begin with of what she would do if he wouldn't get his GPA up. A little over board to begin with, but still.



What...?

What is going on with mothers these days? My parents may end up like this if this catches on.

I doubt many parents would end up doing such a thing. As Serated said about social standing, parents are more likely to have a ruined standing and worry about it than a kid would.



I worry as to the psychological implications of this for the child..

and, if his mother did something that rash because his grades, WHO KNOWS what other kinds of abuse this woman has done to him.

We don't fully know that there was any real abuse. And the child may end up having less will to stand up and do as they like and may even talk less to people but that isn't known unless you ask him how he was truly feeling about it and how he felt after the fact.



Well injustice is served!

Both of them could learn something! Real or not xl

The Parent

-Honestly, don't over react x.X
-Talk it out (smoothly)


The Child

-Keep your grades up
-Get help, don't just stand there in defeat!

Everyone can learn something. Not all parents can keep their cool while talking and sometimes they don't think it is over reacting.

As for the child side? We don't know if he was seeking help or not. Maybe he did have help but it wasn't help enough. When i was in collage, the tutor I was paying for wasn't really helping, it is why I failed. Because of my small issue of understanding things completely i wasn't able to do much correctly without a small help of having been told to fix my work.




How is it a parent should go about doing that? Tough question, IMO. But I would hope a parent can come to understand their child, at least to a degree to inspire a motivation towards their future.

It both depends on child and the parent who are in the middle of it. And there are some parents who only seek their own gain from the child's education. "Look, my child is smart, he has passed from high school, he is in a great collage, he's about to graduate and become high and mighty." I have seen adults who actually say such things about their children for their own benefits.



As for my own opinion? I believe it was just. She did what she thought was best to get him to take education seriously. (Thank you to the person who assisted me with the multi-quoting. *bow*)

[blueangel06661]

Sorta similiar to this story (http://consumerist.com/2010/10/shoplifter-forced-to-dress-as-bert-carry-i-got-caught-shoplifting-at-halloween-express-sign.html) about a teen who shoplifted a Halloween store and had to do the same thing once caught.

[demonix]

I'd just have to wonder if the kid will end up suing his own mother for all the embarrassment she caused like how a thieving employee in England managed to get £13,000 after his boss carted him off to the cop shop with a sign around his neck telling everyone that he had been caught pinching money and was on his way to the police station.

[Aku no Hikari]

Another day, another example of failing parents.

I don't feel like quoting, but various posts in this thread are examples of how people fail @ behavioral psychology, and how the majority of people are unfit for raising children.

Now although raising children is not a static process as it varies from child to another, but in general, children learn from lifestyle much more than they do from "standards". When they find something to be rewarding they'll be more inclined to do it than when they find themselves being forced or shamed into doing it. Once the kid finds him-/herself hating something, it becomes very hard to get them to like it again. And the worst thing you can do to them then is making them believe they are stupid. Now you have two problems instead of one, to say the least.

Punishment shouldn't be eliminated out of the process, but it's only used as a complementary to rewarding and not vice-versa. "Rewarding" doesn't really mean buying them candy so much as does letting them see the process itself as rewarding, which requires helping them develop some awareness (by goddamn discussing it with them as if they were mature people), helping them develop their skills (because they need that), along with the normal "rewarding".

Moreover, obviously not all kids are gonna enjoy the same things to the same extent. Your role is more of helping them build a mind to make wise decisions and succeed in their field of interest than choosing what fits them. Sometimes we have to accept it that the kid is good at certain topics and bad at others. Yeah, we can help him improve himself a bit in the bad topics, but we can't expect perfection.

Perhaps if you want to see stunning results you should consider a stunning reward. A promise to buy the fanciest thing the kid dreams about in the summer can do wonders. And this also gives us a clue about why you shouldn't spoil your kids; they'll lose the ability to find reward in anything, perhaps except for more spoiling.

Another thing to say is that in order for punishment to work, it has to satisfy some conditions: Firstly, the kid must be aware of the consequences before they happen. You can't just, all out of sudden, punish the kid and expect it to make wonders. You tell them "If you don't get a B in that topic the coming test, I'll take away all your gaming devices, your cellphone and the internet for a whole week. And you'll have to study your topics during that week." Now that will make them study harder. Secondly, it has to be consistent. If you promise the kid that they'll be punished and they don't get it, the next time it won't work. (Whereas rewarding shouldn't happen every single time, or else it would eventually lose its effect.)

And thirdly, the punishment must not be psychologically destructive. You don't want the punishment to have the opposite effect you want to achieve, do you? The kind and severity of the punishment can vary a lot based on the kid's "crime"; I didn't say anything about that. I would even approve of physical punishment in some cases, but I would still disapprove of whatever makes the kid seriously feel they are lacking or unwanted; whatever sets up the road for a maladjusted childhood, adolescence and/or adulthood.

This mother has been failing long before she resorted to this punishment, so this punishment in particular is not a surprise for me at all, to be honest. What is both amusing and sickening is how the media likes to bawwwww about the symptoms and never addresses the real issues.

[Hanamaru Kunikida]

You can think of any kind of punishment and it won't have any effect on someone who doesn't really care about his future. We already established that he obviously doesn't care since he refused to take a test that depended on his graduation from school. But can we blame him? We don't know his lifestyle, so not really. However, you aren't born "not caring" about something like school. Something might of have an influence to make him think like that or maybe he really has no parental orientation, and yet what his mother did was punish the guy. Perhaps he is really a slacker who will grow up to be a thug and he doesn't really care and whatever you do, he's still not going to care.

Everyone in Florida knows that you got to pass both Reading FCAT and Math FCAT on your Sophomore year and Science FCAT on your Junior year, he answered four questions and refused to do it and with a GPA of 1.22...Yeah, he doesn't really care at all. He doesn't care about graduating.
(Ps; FCAT may be the one of the easiest test you'll ever take in your High School career here, or at least it was for me and everyone I knew lol).

Heck, if any have watched Freedom Writers (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0463998/)by the looks of it, these guys were in a worse situation than this kid and they got orientated and ended up in a better position.

So all in all, the kid needs motivation(or get orientated) rather than punishment.

[Meenah]

You can think of any kind of punishment and it won't have any effect on someone who doesn't really care about his future. We already established that he obviously doesn't care since he refused to take a test that depended on his graduation from school. But can we blame him? We don't know his lifestyle, so not really. However, you aren't born "not caring" about something like school. Something might of have an influence to make him think like that or maybe he really has no parental orientation, and yet what his mother did was punish the guy. Perhaps he is really a slacker who will grow up to be a thug and he doesn't really care and whatever you do, he's still not going to care.

Everyone in Florida knows that you got to pass both Reading FCAT and Math FCAT on your Sophomore year and Science FCAT on your Junior year, he answered four questions and refused to do it and with a GPA of 1.22...Yeah, he doesn't really care at all. He doesn't care about graduating.
(Ps; FCAT may be the one of the easiest test you'll ever take in your High School career here, or at least it was for me and everyone I knew lol).

Heck, if any have watched Freedom Writers (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0463998/)by the looks of it, these guys were in a worse situation than this kid and they got orientated and ended up in a better position.

So all in all, the kid needs motivation(or get orientated) rather than punishment.

...this.
Psychology is nothing if the kid doesn't care. It has to come from the kid. As I said in my other posts, we all don't know their personal life. They're saying things that they know (and probably left out a few things), and we don't know full story how she ended up doing it to get her to do that to her son.

Its depressing. When parents are trying to do something good, they end up looking bad. Kids now a days, most of them, don't know how much trouble they put their parents to. What they do? Abuse their kindness and it made them go bad. I sound like broken tape recorder: I don't know their personal life, but we can't just blame mom right away. Looking further on her motive will work better, I guess. meh. idk. I really see things differently. Does it make me crazy? o_o

[Skylar1]

To add onto what @Aku no Hikari (http://www.animeforum.com/member.php?u=199887): said,

There are instances of a phenomena, and yes, it is indeed very very rare, where for whatever reason, a child will A priori the realization, (sometimes at a very young age) and became uniquely aware, of their own psychological 'reward system'.

This is remarkable, because at that point, they are then capable of giving praise/shame to themselves independent of a parent, teacher, or other authority source. At this point, they have the ability to gauge their own potential at will, gaining massive benefits due to the delicate mental plasticity of the human brain at that age. In otherwords, the child becomes aware of the fact that "If I do X, and I gain enjoyment, my mental reinforcements for X go up by LARGE amount. therefore, If I make myself enjoy something, I can actually control how my brain grows and develops".

What triggers this initially, I'm sure is completely different for each person that it's happened to, and I'd guesstimate that it most likely affect far less than 1% of the total population.

Nevertheless though, If we could find a way to tap into this paramount resource, we could essentially raise up the human potential by somewhat of a factor of 5! Some of the implications would be like that of the mainstream populous graduating high school at 14, and already have a masters degree by 18!

You have to remember, after all, that humans will only use 2-4% of the brains capacity over their lifetime. IMO, I think we can do a little better than that.

[Aku no Hikari]

You can think of any kind of punishment and it won't have any effect on someone who doesn't really care about his future.

Psychology is nothing if the kid doesn't care.

Did you people actually read my small wall of text? Hint: I said the mother has been a failure long before it happened.

I was addressing the root of the issue, not the symptom. That psychology is what makes the kids care in the first place. And it's also what can make a non-maladjusted kid who doesn't really care eventually start to care.

But sure, after what's happened has already happened, it becomes much more complicated and harder to fix. My post was a bit too abstract, so it doesn't directly reflect on the case in question.

[Ranshiin]

What next? The kid will kill her for taking away his xbox?




This also goes to show just how badly society has deteriorated over time. When I was a kid and at school, if I got a bad grade I got The Leather Belt™. Seriously, what happened to the days of good-old physical punishment?

Also, a certain Die Hard 3 scene came into my head.

[Shinn Kamiyra]

It both depends on child and the parent who are in the middle of it. And there are some parents who only seek their own gain from the child's education. "Look, my child is smart, he has passed from high school, he is in a great collage, he's about to graduate and become high and mighty." I have seen adults who actually say such things about their children for their own benefits.

As for my own opinion? I believe it was just. She did what she thought was best to get him to take education seriously. (Thank you to the person who assisted me with the multi-quoting. *bow*)

@ bold: Well, IMHO, such a person is no longer taking on the role of a parent and is merely playing a self-serving jerk. In such a situation however, I would only hope the child strong enough to stand on his/her own and push forward with what they want, not what their parents want. -Sigh- Regardless, I fear that there is far too much of that in our world than any one person can imagine.

You believe what she did was just? I'm curious about what thoughts led you to that. She may well have had good intentions, but wouldn't you say she went about them in a distorted way? What part of having her son stand out with a sign, an action that would no doubt serve to humiliate and potentially scar him, help in his education? I fail to see how any of that will make him care anymore about his abysmal GPA, how he just walked out on the FCAT, etc.


To add onto what @Aku no Hikari (http://www.animeforum.com/member.php?u=199887): said,

There are instances of a phenomena, and yes, it is indeed very very rare, where for whatever reason, a child will A priori the realization, (sometimes at a very young age) and became uniquely aware, of their own psychological 'reward system'.

This is remarkable, because at that point, they are then capable of giving praise/shame to themselves independent of a parent, teacher, or other authority source. At this point, they have the ability to gauge their own potential at will, gaining massive benefits due to the delicate mental plasticity of the human brain at that age. In otherwords, the child becomes aware of the fact that "If I do X, and I gain enjoyment, my mental reinforcements for X go up by LARGE amount. therefore, If I make myself enjoy something, I can actually control how my brain grows and develops".

What triggers this initially, I'm sure is completely different for each person that it's happened to, and I'd guesstimate that it most likely affect far less than 1% of the total population.

Nevertheless though, If we could find a way to tap into this paramount resource, we could essentially raise up the human potential by somewhat of a factor of 5! Some of the implications would be like that of the mainstream populous graduating high school at 14, and already have a masters degree by 18!

You have to remember, after all, that humans will only use 2-4% of the brains capacity over their lifetime. IMO, I think we can do a little better than that.

Hrm... a child achieving said means is certainly a very impressive feat, but isn't that but one factor to consider amongst many others? Simply because a child has prioritized his/her potential and can become independent of needing praise from outside sources don't make him/her anymore emotionally mature than anyone else. One might even say such a thing could backfire in that pressing forward at such an accelerated rate could put the child in situations he/she isn't mentally or emotionally ready to handle.

[Skylar1]

Hrm... a child achieving said means is certainly a very impressive feat, but isn't that but one factor to consider amongst many others? Simply because a child has prioritized his/her potential and can become independent of needing praise from outside sources don't make him/her anymore emotionally mature than anyone else.
logicality supersedes emotion though. Meaning that they would be far more mentally stable because of the accelerated level of comprehension.

One might even say such a thing could backfire in that pressing forward at such an accelerated rate could put the child in situations he/she isn't mentally or emotionally ready to handle.

you'll need to elaborate for me as to how knowledge could ever be harmful.

[Shinn Kamiyra]

logicality supersedes emotion though. Meaning that they would be far more mentally stable because of the accelerated level of comprehension.

Let us assume that logicality supersedes emotion. Would that not be more likely when coupled with a sufficient level of experience, emotional stability, and personal growth? These are not things that can be attained with a span of years, even more so if we are to infer that the child will be in an almost constant state of schooling, studying, testing, training, etc. To be thrust into the world in such a state, is that not expecting just a bit too much?


you'll need to elaborate for me as to how knowledge could ever be harmful.

Well, I never used or meant to imply the word "innocence". I merely said that the child would be ill-equipped, emotionally speaking, to deal with the vast consequences of an adult world. Manipulation. Expectations. Demands. Deadlines. All of these things and more are things that a vast majority of adults struggle to deal with. Pile these atop a child whose potential was such that he/she was able to blaze through school and you have an eagerly awaiting world ready to pounce atop him/her in an instant. It's how those with power and excessive knowledge are always viewed. In this respect, knowledge can be harmful.

[Skylar1]

Let us assume that logicality supersedes emotion. Would that not be more likely when coupled with a sufficient level of experience, emotional stability, and personal growth? These are not things that can be attained with a span of years, even more so if we are to infer that the child will be in an almost constant state of schooling, studying, testing, training, etc. To be thrust into the world in such a state, is that not expecting just a bit too much?
not really. Growth, as with anything, can be accelerated as well; it can also be stunted. This is why you see such a wide spectrum of maturity across various age groups.


Well, I never used or meant to imply the word "innocence". I merely said that the child would be ill-equipped, emotionally speaking, to deal with the vast consequences of an adult world. Manipulation. Expectations. Demands. Deadlines. All of these things and more are things that a vast majority of adults struggle to deal with. Pile these atop a child whose potential was such that he/she was able to blaze through school and you have an eagerly awaiting world ready to pounce atop him/her in an instant. It's how those with power and excessive knowledge are always viewed. In this respect, knowledge can be harmful.

you're saying you didn't mean to imply 'innocence', but that's exactly what your argument here is though. (in bold)

You're also saying "ill-equipped", which, I'm not sure what you mean by that since being "ill-prepared" is what causes one to have problems in the real world. Learning these things early one gives them ample time to prepare for when the do in fact come to be.

[ELR]

You believe what she did was just? I'm curious about what thoughts led you to that. She may well have had good intentions, but wouldn't you say she went about them in a distorted way? What part of having her son stand out with a sign, an action that would no doubt serve to humiliate and potentially scar him, help in his education? I fail to see how any of that will make him care anymore about his abysmal GPA, how he just walked out on the FCAT, etc.


I simply meant that he sought no interest in his education, if he had an issue with this studies then he could have told his mother his disinterest in it or he could have trudged through it but he allowed it to plummet, straggle it along until a complaint was made then he should have done something more worth while but instead he was sent to hold a sign on the side of the road.

I basically failed collage but that was not due to me not working hard enough (On top of that, it was my parent's choice for the course and everything, disinterest. Not like they really care what I want to begin with) nor was it because of lacking involvement. I had a tutor that decided to not assist, try finishing essays and having so many errors that it hurts the grade. Or you are writing a topic and end up, on accident, writing about something close to it and have it rated 0/10 because of it's offness of it. My parent's made me (and still making me) earn every penny, if a neighbor needs a job done? I have to go do it. I would have preferred to hold a sign up on the side of the road for all to see. That is why I say it was just, there could have been harsher things done.

[Shinn Kamiyra]

not really. Growth, as with anything, can be accelerated as well; it can also be stunted. This is why you see such a wide spectrum of maturity across various age groups.

-Sigh- Don't you think you're forcing things a bit in this scenario of yours? Growth as both a person and an individual can be said to differ from person to person. Certainly there are correlations among different age groups with regards to maturity and other such things, however it sounds as if you almost believe one can plan out a means by which to guide a mass populace of children towards the correct path; as if they were a bunch of sheep.


you're saying you didn't mean to imply 'innocence', but that's exactly what your argument here is though. (in bold)

You're also saying "ill-equipped", which, I'm not sure what you mean by that since being "ill-prepared" is what causes one to have problems in the real world. Learning these things early one gives them ample time to prepare for when the do in fact come to be.

I prefer to think of it as keeping things in perspective. However if you wish to talk of "innocence," then I would have to say that's what your argument sounds like (in bold as well). You make it sound as if life experiences, personal trials, and other near completely unpredictable elements of what it means to be human can be served up as though they were just another element of the classroom.

Can you prepare a gifted child for what it means to be scorned and hated by those who don't have what they have? Face down the looks and sighs of disappointment because they're not quite as 'gifted' as someone else? Of course you can't.

[Aleyna]

Tiger Mom; Read me. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tiger_mom)
@Anuket (http://www.animeforum.com/member.php?u=167409): I didn't know there was a book on it! I came accross that story in an article when I was reading this (http://shanghaishiok.com/2011/01/14/why-chinese-girlfriends-are-superior).

[blueangel06661]

Did you people actually read my small wall of text? Hint: I said the mother has been a failure long before it happened.

I was addressing the root of the issue, not the symptom. That psychology is what makes the kids care in the first place. And it's also what can make a non-maladjusted kid who doesn't really care eventually start to care.

But sure, after what's happened has already happened, it becomes much more complicated and harder to fix. My post was a bit too abstract, so it doesn't directly reflect on the case in question.

Well how would you know? I mean a parent can be negligent and the child can respond badly. Just as well as the parent giving the child all the proper attention and the kid STILL can respond badly. So you really don't know if the mother was a failure. Also you have to take in his surroundings. He's probably involved with drinking and weed and everything in that crowd. How would I know? -My best friend and her group are in that crowd... Carry the same attitude towards school/exams... However they did take the FCAT.. Just didn't care for anything else that followed.

As a good parent you can't exactly keep who your kid hangs out with away from them.. You can try to teach them to stay away from those people but you shouldn't force them not to.. It can lead to a big disruption.. But watching the video they might just live in the ghetto so it's hard to say.

[Senjou_Akira]

sure the mother is disappointed and somewhat mad to her son because she wants what's best for him but he didn't live up to her expectations, but it's going a little overboard isn't it?

if she want what's best for her son she should have just given a little sermon and more of encouragement. humiliating her son like that is not what is best for her son's situation

[catie]

poor guy i feel sorry for him hope he passes his next test
but the mother was right to punish him but the sigh part was too much

[Anime-Prince]

Humiliation never makes people want to do better.

Sure, they want to avoid the humiliation next time, but that's all.

Wont make him want to do better in tests.

Doesn't make him want to take his education seriously, because his mother is making a mockery out of him. Which is what he's doing of his education, and so the circle goes round and round.

Maybe she just wanted to get on news.

[Exodus__]

Good, perhaps this way the child will relize studying is better than shooter games.