Help translating a song from English to Japanese

[bloodyshade]

Hi,

I wrote a small song a few days ago and I'd like to have help translating it to Japanese.
I'm currently studying Japanese but my actual level of knowledge isn't that big.
I decided not to go around searching for the words that I think would fit, because I lack proper knowledge on the impact they might have on the sentences. (which might have the side effect of changing it in undesired ways)

Here is the lyric I wrote, if somebody could give me a hand, I'd really appreciate it:

"Even if only for a second
Stop to think of the things you did
All you've accomplished and what you've lost
Was it worth it? Are you pleased?

Was it worth going through so much
To simply perish in the end?
Does love pay back sacrifice?
Or should you have hated more?

[Chorus]
If there is no dream to pursuit
There is no reason to live at all
Even if it is something foolish
Look up to it and carry on

Did you ever think of escaping
A life where the only certainty is death
Where your dreams will fade away
Along with all love and pain?

Being naive to the point of stupidity
We follow on without thinking much
That the life we insist on living
Is but a leaf carried by a river called time

[Repeat chorus]"

Thank you very much.

[LavaBug]

Do you just want to have a Japanese version because it is cool or do you plan on singing it?
Because from where I stand without having the music to match the translation with, the result will not be like the text you've given (eg - it'll not match anymore...either be too long or to short...or simply sound weird...so you can't sing it anymore to way you might have intended)

Hope my point is clear...I'm usually lacking proper vocabulary when I post after I just woke up -_-

[animeyay]

Yea that. Just like how English songs are syllable-timed, Japanese songs are mora-timed. You need to know exactly how many syllables/moras you will fit into each line before you can start writing the lyrics at all. Otherwise, the lyrics just won't fit with the melody.

[bloodyshade]

Hi,
Thanks for the replies and sorry for the delay on my end.

Hmm... I believe the accuracy in this case would come first, because unless the meaning is kept, the song would be pretty much useless in my view.
It matter for it to be singable but that comes after the accurate translation (or as accurate as it can get).

I have yet to develop a rhythm for it, but that can be achieved after the translation, and it looks easier to me that way, since rhythm can be adapted easier than modifying the lyric.

Hope that makes sense and is possible to achieve.
Thank you both for the replies.

[animeyay]

This is a VERY CRUDE translation, as in I wasn't being as poetic as I could, and didn't spend a lot of time on it. This is only a preliminary translation to help get you started. You don't need me to give you the romaji as well, do you? (since you're studying Japanese right now.)


ちょっとでもいいから
過去の行為を考えてみな
いろいろできたり失ったりして
本当にそれで満足できるのか？

力尽きて努力したのに
結局はただ消えちゃっていいのか？
愛を持って犠牲を贖えるのか？
それとももっと憎むべきだったのか？

求める夢がなければ
生きる意味もなくなるでしょう
どんなに小さく見える夢でも
それを目指して先へ進め

ねえ、死しか見えない人生から
逃れようとも思わなかった？
そんな人生なら夢などは
愛と痛みと共に消え去るのよ

愚かなほど単純な僕たちは
何も考えずにただ従うだけ
無意味に生き抜こうとするそんな人生は
時間という川に運ばれて流れてく葉でしかないんだ

[bloodyshade]

Oh nice, thank you very much :)
No need for the romaji, I can search online for the kanji I do not currently know, no problem (actually that's better because it makes me actually go and learn more).

Will take a closer look at it and reply back later.

Thank you once again, this sure will help me out a lot, I can 'polish' it later if I feel that is needed, I needed a starting point and you gave me that :)

Later.