Bob Barker is a wise man. Heed his words.
But first, some motivation and back-story.
Apparently in the neighborhood of a high school friend of mine (called Sam to protect privacy), there is a male dog (we will call him Spike) that is going around sexually assaulting other dogs in the neighborhood. In fact, Spike doesn't even seem to care whether his prey is male or female, young or old, human or doggy kind. He'll take on anything that isn't fast enough to get away.
Sam brought this to my attention because apparently Lilly (Sam's dog) was sexually assaulted by Spike, and Sam had to chase it off with a Super Soaker. I was pretty skeptical about this because it's not like dogs can talk or anything, so how can you know if it was consensual or whatever. Well Sam reassured me that Lilly "was making noises that a happy, consensual dog would not make", and for a few days she wouldn't eat anything or play Frisbee. "I don't think dogs do that naturally, you know? ...it must be learned behavior, from the owner."
Anyway, Spike's owner's parents were going to host this BBQ. I was offered $100 if I would catch Spike, castrate him, and put his parts on the grill while Sam distracted everyone. My response naturally was "Oh hell no. If you want me to touch someone's dick, it's going to cost $5,000 minimum." Sam wasn't very happy with me so we sort of stopped talking for a while.
That doesn't last long, because in spite of my not giving a damn I am informed that Lily is pregnant.
/BLOGPOST
This is where animal rights comes in. The facts of the case are clear: we have a soon-to-be dead beat doggy daddy, and whats most important is the best interest of the puppies. Statistics say that puppies are happiest with their mother. Sam isn't made of money. They're going to have to add an extra room to the dog house, get some feeding bowls, and buy enough dog food to feed a family.
Don't puppies have a right to puppy support from the father? I mean we do this with humans. Obviously the dogs can't really pay up, but the owner can. Shouldn't Spike's owner have to pay like $200+ a month to make sure Lilly's litter is house-broken, healthy, and well fed?
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