In The Shadows

**Kaname Shikara** · 02-25-2010 11:16 PM

A poem I just wrote tonight. I hope everyone likes it. ^^

In The Shadows

Here in the shadows waiting
Wondering what to do next
Sitting here debating
Dumbfounded and perplexed

I'm sitting here alone
Wishing someone would come
But I should have known
Things are starting to get numb

Wishing I wasn't here but it's what must be
I'm trapped here again, lost in thought
Clinging to hope and what I see
A shining light and its what I sought

Time to come away from darkness
Walking toward the light
I notice you come and caress
Now we hold each other tight

Still being pulled back
Numbing feeling coming to attack
You hold me tight and my heart reacts
So warm, nothing lacks

I know it's awful >.<

**ultra_maniac** · 02-25-2010 11:25 PM

it's good really good just one thing you have someone to pull you back from those dark shadow's remember that.

**Kaname Shikara** · 02-25-2010 11:28 PM

Yes ^^ thank you.

**ghostthegreat** · 02-25-2010 11:56 PM

I think it's really great, once again nice work. Only thing I would consider working on this time would be the last stanza. I like you threw off the rhyme scheme, this can have a powerful effect on the poem. Maybe add in a little more to emphasize this confusion? Or possibly make it a unified rhyme scheme (like a a a a) to show a sense of being pulled out of the shadows and into some sort of stability. And I would say after a few tweaks your poems are really very publishable. It's a shame that poetry is so unpopular in this country, really hurts great potential like yours from being broadcast to a wider audience.

**Kaname Shikara** · 02-26-2010 12:06 AM

Wow o.o I'm really glad you think my poetry is close to being good enough to be published ^^ I'm going to fix the last stanza. Thank you for your comment.

**Anime Forum** · 02-26-2010 03:18 PM

Sorry folks, Im sure everyone has missed my poem commenting! Well I guess I can do a few since I'm online.

First of all, your starting to remind me of *Tsuki* in two major ways! Yes two, not one nor three. TWO.

Your skilled, but then you think your awful at writing. Your not awful, your great and you know it. Alright?

Your skilled, and I loved the poem : ) great work.

**Kaname Shikara** · 02-26-2010 03:31 PM

Thank you for your comment ^^ you should stay this time D:

**Anime Forum** · 02-26-2010 03:36 PM

Originally Posted by Kirako Shima

Thank you for your comment ^^ you should stay this time D:

Its no Prob, this is something I really like doing. I do it a lot in real life so I'm used to commenting on people's work.

And maybe I will, maybe I won't. We'll see how the day and the week turns out.

**Gero50** · 02-26-2010 03:44 PM

This is good quite interesting. I really liked the comparative words you used.

**Kaname Shikara** · 02-26-2010 03:53 PM

@Raiken, That's cool and I hope you stay. ^^

@Gero, Thank you for your comment as well, I love it when people think my work is good. ^^

**Kirei Shijin** · 02-27-2010 06:23 PM

This was very good.

I like the abab rhyiming scheme better than aabb. But it's good that the last stanza is that way because it's different from the rest which puts emphasis on it. I'd watch out for the 1st stanza, 2nd line; the wording sounds strange. I'd just stick with "Wondering what to do next" That was by far the best stanza too in my opinion. Great job overall Kirako. ^^

**Anime-Prince** · 02-27-2010 08:15 PM

Absolute
Wonderful
Enigmatic
Superior
Ominous
Magnificent
Enduring

**Kaname Shikara** · 02-27-2010 09:03 PM

@Kirei, Thank you

I took out the "on" in the stanza. I'm glad you liked it.

@Anime-Prince, A-w-e-s-o-m-e lol. Someone has tried that with me before ^^ I'm glad you liked it too. ^^