not sure if this is the place for this but POEM...

[weaponised NZ]

um this is kinda a weird poem that i wrote and you can bash if you want cus its kinda retarded even for me. i like to see peoples opinions so if you hate the hell out of it just say it lol

break free from the chains of a normal life and experience endless soaring, careless sprinting a worthy cause and the touch of a precious freedom worth protecting.
take every chance to fight against the odds fight always to prove you don't live in fear.
remember the eyes that spark against your soal and ignite a instant fueling you perpetually.
a voice that can build you up and break you down with a simple words.
never regretting anything, don't allow the poison into the flow of your dream. welcome the lows that amplify the highs. take the hand of the girl you see and say it all in that moment, the one that comes at the end of a long journey. along the way be her Armour and protect her at all cost, unleash in advance the fury that you feel when she is hurt on those who stab blindly in the blue. never settle for anything less than your wildest dreams for there is were she wanders.

i wrote this cus i was talking to some people who's ultimate goal in life is to become apprentice windscreen glaziers... i was like i didn't realize there were people in the world so unaware of how greater things they are capable of... and i know that if thats what they want to do that's up to them but i think if you planning to follow the same path as every one els (get a job,get married, have kids, retire,die) then you really are just wasting your life...in my opinion...

and no i haven't got any great plans for my life yet but im searching

[Xombii]

wow that's pretty good, you should show that to ur English teacher and get some extra credit xD. Did u also make that sig?

Keep em coming.

[weaponised NZ]

Originally Posted by Xombii

wow that's pretty good, you should show that to ur English teacher and get some extra credit xD. Did u also make that sig?

Keep em coming.

i would except i left school and i am studying computer technology so i can assure you i wont get extra credit there lol. and no the sig was made by a friend of mine on another anime forums

[*Tsuki*]

aww, that's really cute! <3 That was my immediate reaction.

It kinda threw me that there wasn't anything between the poem and the writing about the poem, but I'm weird like that. Anyway, I really liked it. The imagery was really great for me, and I was able to imagine it really well. ^^
It's odd because I'm not very good at reading things all the way through when they aren't separated into stanzas or anything, but I was able to read it without pausing. I guess I just really liked it. ^.^ good job.

Oh, right. And I had a question. Was "soal" supposed to be "soul?"

Although it kinda looks more like a story, when I read it, it divided itself up to actually have a flow. Sounds weird, but it's true. Others might have issues with that, though since it looks like a huge paragraph. ^^;;

Anyway, Great job! Keep writing cuz' I really want to read more, now. =)

[SigmaSD]

That poem wasn't "retarted" like you mentioned, it was actually pretty good. Though to be easily legible you could separate it into manageable pieces so people can read it easier. There is nothing wrong with the poem with besides what *Tsuki* mentioned.

Never rate your poems as dumb or horrible; that's for us to decide. I liked this poem, you're good just keep writing more.

[Lotha Cryso]

*clap clap clap* Bravo, this one seemed way different from the others but it was still awesome.

[Anime-Prince]

That was AWESOME. A poem isn't about the structure or grammer content. It's about the feeling, the emotion, the message and the delivery. You had those latter points all fantastic.

Loved it.

[Blackwick]

Hmm, Sigma, where have I heard that before? lol, What might look bad to you might be beautiful or wonderful in others eyes, don't judge your poem without fully feeling it all the way through. And what Anime-Prince said, I agree, that is all that a poem really is. Please, keep writing, my friend.