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Thread: 'Twas the Night Before Christmas (Zandan's way)

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    Psychic Amnesiac Zandan has a reputation beyond repute Zandan has a reputation beyond repute Zandan has a reputation beyond repute Zandan has a reputation beyond repute Zandan has a reputation beyond repute Zandan has a reputation beyond repute Zandan has a reputation beyond repute Zandan has a reputation beyond repute Zandan has a reputation beyond repute Zandan has a reputation beyond repute Zandan has a reputation beyond repute Zandan's Avatar
    Gil
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    Default 'Twas the Night Before Christmas (Zandan's way)

    Hello, my pretties. I believe I've been gone from this section far too long. Please, enjoy the mind of a disturbed individual.

    This is not to insult or offend anyone. It's just a joke. A very sick joke. If you are easily offended, don't read it.



    'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house
    Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
    The cat had eaten it the weekend before
    Then threw up bones and fur all over the floor.

    The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
    Filled with diamonds and rubies- no oranges or pears!
    Ma’s in her red nightie, all trimmed in white fur,
    In the hope that I would soon make her purr.

    When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
    I yelped in surprise, tore my boxers to tatters.
    Away to the window I flew like a flash,
    Stubbed my toe and I fell, got a really big gash.

    The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
    Shined on the cleavage of the hos down below.
    When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
    But a drunk, fat Santa kicking a big can of beer.

    He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
    And his clothes were all tarnished with vomit to boot.
    His sack was full of bottles, all empty and rattling,
    His hand and his crotch seemed to be battling.

    The little old man, cursing and violent and quick,
    Was giving a bad rap to Good Ol’ Saint Nick.
    And he whistled, shouted, and called the hos by their name,
    “Hey Dancer, hey Vixen and Blitzen! You are to blame!

    “My eyes how they twinkled, my dimples were merry!
    But drinking with you made my nose a red cherry!
    My pipe is for show, but you stuffed it with weed!
    It wasn’t a sleigh, but my car that you keyed!

    "Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!
    You girls gotta help me get to last call!”
    He laughed and his big red belly did quake,
    I laughed when I saw him, my breath he did take.

    So up the street they staggered and swayed,
    I knew without asking those girls would get paid.
    A “Happy Christmas to all” followed them past,
    And the street grew still, quiet at last.

    As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
    My prey caught my eye from the bed where she’s bound.
    With red ribbon and lace and a box full of toys,
    Tonight would be special- if we kept down the noise.
    I'm a psychic amnesiac. I know in advance what I'm going to forget.

    Children in backseats will cause accidents. Accidents in backseats can bear children.

    The more you learn, the more you know, the more you know, and the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know. So why bother to learn?


    Made by Hakuchuumu

  2. #2
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    Gil
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    Default Re: 'Twas the Night Before Christmas (Zandan's way)

    This is a pretty win satirical piece, good job bro.


    Tru Fax: Princess Minako wrestled Jesus... and won










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    Default Re: 'Twas the Night Before Christmas (Zandan's way)

    I like it. Its creative and was really well written. (:
    Check out Anime Globe for the latest in anime reviews and anime news!


    ~Erasing all the non moe on AF~

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    Default Re: 'Twas the Night Before Christmas (Zandan's way)

    That's awesome XD pretty funny and kinda dirty but it was awesome.

    Amazing set by
    Ezza Obsuna ^^

    The days fly by and the feelings remain
    So far away and causing us pain
    That's okay we'll make it through
    Soon we'll get to say "I love you"



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