KOTOKO & Shimamiya Eiko - Otomegokoro + √Nekomimi = ∞ translation

[yuko132]

Hi! Here's another translation I've been working on. This song is just way too cute to pass up I noticed some of the stuff came out worded really weirdly in english, so if a native speaker could help me out with that a bit I'd be thankful forever

負けそうなほっぺにキスして
バカだなって笑って
あなたに出会ったせいで
泣き虫に戻って行く乙女心
I kiss your loser cheek (1)
and laugh like an idiot
it's because I met you
that my maiden heart goes back to being a crybaby

三角に立てた耳で あなたの声を聞いたの
もしかすると誰かに恋をしているの？
三毛猫、アメ・ショー、シャム猫
みんなが振り向くあの子
けれど私捨てネコみたいね…
With my triangular ears standing up I hear your voice
could it be that you're falling in love with someone?
tortoiseshell cats, american short haired cats, siamese cats
everyone turns around to look at those girls
but I'm like a stray cat...

あなたの二歩後ろ どこまでもついてゆく
みつけたの暖かい
大きな胸！
I will follow you anywhere walking two stops behind you
I found your warm
big chest!

からだいっぱいに感じてるよ
泣き出しそうな優しさを
小さな爪痕を残すよ
猫じゃらしでくすぐられ心
もう止められないの
大好きなあなたの側で
幼い夢と私
育てたいな
I feel with all my heart
your kindness that makes me want to cry
leaving behind small scratches
my cat heart is tickled
I can't stop anymore
right next to my beloved you
I want you to raise
both me and your childhood dreams (2)

猫なで声は裏腹本当は強くなれたら…
あなたのこと守れるくらいに
Despite of your flattering voice, the truth is I want to become stronger...
enough to even get to protect you

しっぽを丸めたら寂しい時の合図
大袈裟に手を広げ
迎えに来て！
If I move around my tail it's a sign that I'm feeling lonely
so open your arms widely and
come for me!

ココロいっぱいに感じてるよ
赤い糸辿った先を
あなたと育ってく未来を
迷子の子猫を拾ったあなたの運命は
うたた寝みたいな魔法で
予想も出来ないほうへ
動き出すよ
I feel it with all my heart
the end that the red thread traced
a future where I can be brought up with you
the fate of you who picked up a stray kitten
by magic just like taking a nap,
will start moving even though you couldn't expect it (3)

背中を丸めて独りぼっち眠った
あんな日はもう二度と
訪れない！
the days when you slept alone curled into a ball
are never going to come again!

痛いくらいに感じてるよ
この出会いは偶然じゃない
涙の温度さえ変わるよ
この恋心は永遠…ネコミミに誓うよ
だから息も止まるくらいに
誰にも負けない思い
ぎゅっとしてね
I feel it so much that its painful
this meeting isn't a coincidence
making even the temperature of my tears change
this beginning love is eternal, I swear it to my cat's ears
so please hold me tightly
enough to leave me breathless
with feelings that won't lose to anyone else

************
(1) This sounds horrible in english I couldn't find a way to word 負けそうな smoothly in english. Help?

(2) From what I gather, the singer wants her love interest to raise her alongside with his childhood dreams, but maybe I'm interpreting it wrong.

(3) This whole stanza is giving me a headache xD I can't find a way to word it properly either, starting from the fact that I feel that 赤い糸辿った先を refers to the fact that this romance is the final destination pointed out by the red thread, so to speak, but it sounds so weird in english u_u then there's the magic like a nap which sounds like it makes no sense xD But the way I understood it was that just like you feel refreshed suddenly after taking a nap (like it is magic) his future would start changing and unfurling from then on.

So, anyway please help?

[animeyay]

負けそうなほっぺにキスして
バカだなって笑って
I kiss your loser cheek (1)
and laugh like an idiot

To your cheek resembling that of a loser's,
I give a peck/kiss, giggling at your thick-headedness.
>I agree; there's not a good way to translate makesou na hoppe without sounding weird or unnatural. But be careful with the second line: "baka da na" tte waratte = I smile, as if saying to you "what an idiot."

あなたの二歩後ろ どこまでもついてゆく
I will follow you anywhere walking two stops behind you

I will follow you anywhere walking two steps behind you
>typo =P

幼い夢と私
育てたいな
I want you to raise
both me and your childhood dreams (2)

I'd like you to take great care of
both me and your childhood dreams
>Yea, you probably don't want to use "raise" here, as it could also mean to raise physically with arms, as in かざす.

猫なで声は裏腹
Despite of your flattering voice

Despite your pampering voice
>I think "pampering" is more appropriate here than "flattering"

しっぽを丸めたら
If I move around my tail

When I curl up my tail
>marumeru means "to curl/round something into a ball", not exactly "to move around"

赤い糸辿った先を
あなたと育ってく未来を
the end that the red thread traced
a future where I can be brought up with you

that the place our red string of fate leads to
is a future where the two of us can grow up together.
>This is a viable translation, I guess, but the double-を construction here makes me want to treat both of these two phrases parallelly as objects of 感じてる. I personally would be more inclined to translate these two lines as:
the destination that my red string of fate leads to,
and a future where the two of us can grow up together.
>But hey, feel free to translate them however you want. I'm probably reading too much into the grammar here. =)

迷子の子猫を拾ったあなたの運命は
うたた寝みたいな魔法で
予想も出来ないほうへ
動き出すよ
the fate of you who picked up a stray kitten
by magic just like taking a nap,
will start moving even though you couldn't expect it (3)

After you gave shelter to this stray kitten,
your fate, as if by a magic spell swift as a quick doze,
starts to turn towards a direction
beyond your imagination.
>utatane mitai na mahou = doze/snooze-like magic, or in other words, a very quick and swift magic, which has taken its effect before you know it. Also yosou mo dekinai hou e ugokidasu = to move towards a direction beyond the imagination.

[AzureDark]

[/COLOR]You know I wasn't gonna let this go

1) Besides the meaning of "a loser", it can also mean something to the effect of "yielding" or "vulnerable".

けれど私捨てネコみたいね…
>but I'm like a stray cat...
The nuance here is jealousy; couple this with the previous line and you'll see. Yours is not that far off but I'd write it as
but (nobody notices) this stray cat, eh...

からだいっぱいに感じてるよ
>I feel it with all my heart
Whoops, you thought it was the same line as Chorus 2.

泣き出しそうな優しさを
小さな爪痕を残すよ
>your kindness that makes me want to cry
>leaving behind small scratches
Nope, the second line is owned by the first line (inverted sentence), and the third is a standalone sentence.

猫じゃらしでくすぐられ心
>my cat heart is tickled
'nekojarashi' is catnip (actually Silver Vine, a more powerful cat stimulant), and you know what catnips do to cats...
so then the "can't stop" thing in the following line becomes the "heart".

大好きなあなたの側で
>right next to my beloved you
omg please fix that >_>;

(2) From the way you are t/ling it, the line would have to be 育ててほしい。 It's not totally wrong but the directness in your line makes it mean differently. 幼い夢 is also just a "young/small dream" that is actually hers because it's not あなたの幼い頃の夢。
I'd try:
I want to grow up
Right next to my beloved
Raising this small dream

猫なで声は裏腹
>Despite of your flattering voice
No, she is indicating that despite her softlike voice (the voice is hers, it's a nekomimi game, you should know already...) she wants to be stronger than how she sounds.

(3)
赤い糸辿った先を
あなたと育ってく未来を
>the end that the red thread traced
>a future where I can be brought up with you
What animeyay said, but I go with the cause-effect that you have there.

Well if you don't know about the red thread thingy, Japanese superstition says that soulmates are bound together by an invisible red thread around their pinkies. ...or something.

背中を丸めて独りぼっち眠った
あんな日はもう二度と
訪れない！
>the days when you slept alone curled into a ball
>are never going to come again!
3 lines please.
No not "you" but "I". Only cats curl up to sleep!

だから息も止まるくらいに
誰にも負けない思い＿
ぎゅっとしてね
>so please hold me tightly
>enough to leave me breathless
>with feelings that won't lose to anyone else
The dropped particle I indicated makes the sentence ambiguous. (Bonus: Spot where the redundant verb (another songs-exclusive grammar quirk) should be!)
Your t/l gives the particle as で but を which is equally applicable makes the "feelings" hers.

[EJTranslations]

猫じゃらしでくすぐられ心
>my cat heart is tickled
'nekojarashi' is catnip (actually Silver Vine, a more powerful cat stimulant), and you know what catnips do to cats...
so then the "can't stop" thing in the following line becomes the "heart".

That's matatabi, actually; "nekojarashi" literally means "foxtail" but also refers to those feather-on-a-stick things that you tease cats with. Do those have an English name? I have no idea.

>so open your arms widely

I'm going to get super nitpicky here and say that "wide" would sound better than "widely" here.

>this beginning love is eternal

Where are you getting "beginning"? I would make 恋心 "love-filled heart" or something like that.

Azu-chan and animeyay have covered everything else, I think.

(Welcome, by the way! Always nice to have another I've translator around.)

[AzureDark]

That's matatabi, actually; "nekojarashi" literally means "foxtail" but also refers to those feather-on-a-stick things that you tease cats with. Do those have an English name? I have no idea.

Yea I know, but it's just to dumb things down a bit.

Where are you getting "beginning"? I would make 恋心 "love-filled heart" or something like that.

恋心 literally means that, and I would usually t/l this as simple old "love" (though there are exceptions e.g. if it actually refers to one's own beginning of love).

[EJTranslations]

恋心 literally means that, and I would usually t/l this as simple old "love" (though there are exceptions e.g. if it actually refers to one's own beginning of love).

Oops, shows what I know.

Re: nekojarashi, I'm not against poetic liberties ("my heart that was tickled with one of those feather-on-a-stick things" isn't exactly elegant), I just think it's misleading to say that it means "silver vine" when it doesn't. Even if you go with the plant meaning, foxtails aren't a cat stimulant at all AFAIK, just interesting to them in an "ooh, fluffy thing on a stick!" way.

[animeyay]

Yea, the 幼い夢と私 育てたいな was the one line I felt that was really really weird.
I was very very inclined to translate it AzureDark's way, ("raising your small dream"), if only that と was a を... XD