What would you do if you are being stalked?

[Anime Forum]

Stalk em right back. How's that apples?

[Elphaba]

It depends who was stalking me and for how long. And also to be funny I would stalk them right back.
I haven't been stalked as far as I know and I guess if the situation ever came up I would have to act with how the problem was.

[.Tatty.]

I was for a while, By my psycho ex. It was amusing then creepy then amusing again.

I just ignored her. She got bored and insisted she was pregnant, this provided much entertainment.

[SigmaSD]

Irl I'd dodge them around and get a restraining order.

For online I'd change my username around every month, change my avi, and hope for the best. Unless there happens to be such a thing as an e-restraining order, then I'd get that.

[Inactive Account 0061]

Nobody want to stalk me anyway :<

[Megamind's Minion]

stalking is a crime...
but as long as no harm was inflicted on me...
i'll just let the person be...
it's a good thing that i can totally ignore people if i chose to..

[aether]

Grab a nearby rusty knife and wedge it into their eye

[Nanobyte]

Tactical nuke.

[Anime-Prince]

Well.. If I did feel really threatened and thought there was no other way of me viably defending myself..

I'd walk alongside a busy road. Stop, take out my phone, and pretend to make a call, while turning to look at the 'stalker'. That way, people are driving past in full view of what's happening. The assailant knows that I know they're following me, and will presume the call is to report that.

If I'm not near a road.. I would walk intentionally to the nearest house that had a light on, or signs of being occupied, and knock on the door. When they opened up I'd explain the situation and take my chances on them helping.

[Kumoness]

Grab a nearby rusty knife and wedge it into their eye

A rusty spork is so much better though.

Pretend that I'm unaware of the stalker, secretly gather all possible data about them, set up a ridiculously verbose and well thought-out keikaku and make everything go according to it in the given situation providing all parties act as expected based on the analysis of their actions, history and present affiliations while considering all surrounding circumstances relevant in said situation and how they influence the process of my keikaku, to which everything will go according, godly accurately, and without any room for mistake11!!1!!1!

What's a keikaku?

[RaShayRitto]

funny thing about threads like these, i always look at the gender and age of the poster before deciding to read or skip their post

besides, everyone knows you just force the stalker to join your Maid Harem

[Movie Dave]

Be completely weird. like .... show the nasty side of me >:3 then i'm sure the stalker will go away. physiologically tortured. :3

[Armageddon]

* is a professional stalker *

I`ll show them what stalking is all about :3

[::SomeOtherCookiez::]

Probably start throwing a Molotov at the stalker.

Nobody messes with Cookiez! C:<

[TheyCallMeFei]

Don't be silly. I'm not interesting enough to get stalked.

Even if I was, I wouldn't bother to do anything... probably just wrinkle my nose in distaste.

[Aku no Hikari]

What's a keikaku?

*sigh*

http://www.google.com/#q=according+to+keikaku

It's just a retired meme...

[Meenah]

I don't see why anyone would want to stalk me. I would be amused, but a little creeped out by it.
I don't go out a lot, so I guess thats why I think I won't get a lot of stalkers. idk

[OminousCloud]

Calling the police seems like a good idea...

[Petrol Gas]

Reverse stalk your stalker. Who knows, you might like them.

[Yoona13]

Stalkers.. Hmm.. Fun toys! Play with their mind, of course~~ ^^

[Forgotten Show]

Handle it.


BM

[Hanamaru Kunikida]

Eat some Indian food, and then fart.

Indian food gives me gases, so...

[under the rain]

I would proceed to defeat him in a game of mind-chess, in which I will jump all of his properties, causing his battleship to sink.

Pretend that I'm unaware of the stalker, secretly gather all possible data about them, set up a ridiculously verbose and well thought-out keikaku and make everything go according to it in the given situation providing all parties act as expected based on the analysis of their actions, history and present affiliations while considering all surrounding circumstances relevant in said situation and how they influence the process of my keikaku, to which everything will go according, godly accurately, and without any room for mistake11!!1!!1!

As though your plan will succeed... Next, I'll be the god of this new world!