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Thread: Literal Joke Thread

  1. #1
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    Default Literal Joke Thread

    A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?"
    The horse explains he was just told he has cancer, and has less than 6 months to live.

  2. #2
    Senior Member BoldMushroom has a reputation beyond repute BoldMushroom has a reputation beyond repute BoldMushroom has a reputation beyond repute BoldMushroom has a reputation beyond repute BoldMushroom has a reputation beyond repute BoldMushroom has a reputation beyond repute BoldMushroom has a reputation beyond repute BoldMushroom has a reputation beyond repute BoldMushroom has a reputation beyond repute BoldMushroom has a reputation beyond repute BoldMushroom has a reputation beyond repute BoldMushroom's Avatar
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    Default Re: Literal Joke Thread

    How did the black man get so good at basketball?
    He practiced a lot.

    A rabbi, a priest, and an atheist walk into a bar. They buy a few drinks, have a very lively and engaging conversation, and leave three hours later.
    Get some exercise this summer and raise money to fight disease. Find a free charity walk in your area:
    AIDS Walk | Walk to Defeat ALS | Walk MS | Making Strides Against Breast Cancer
    Light The Night for Leukemia & Lymphona | Great Strides for Cystic Fibrosis

  3. #3
    Senior Member Jmosies has a reputation beyond repute Jmosies has a reputation beyond repute Jmosies has a reputation beyond repute Jmosies has a reputation beyond repute Jmosies has a reputation beyond repute Jmosies has a reputation beyond repute Jmosies has a reputation beyond repute Jmosies has a reputation beyond repute Jmosies has a reputation beyond repute Jmosies has a reputation beyond repute Jmosies has a reputation beyond repute Jmosies's Avatar
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    Default Re: Literal Joke Thread

    Knock Knock.
    "Who's there?"
    "Hey, I think it's the pizza guy. Can you get it?"
    "You ordered pizza?"

  4. #4
    It's super effective! .:neuko:. has a reputation beyond repute .:neuko:. has a reputation beyond repute .:neuko:. has a reputation beyond repute .:neuko:. has a reputation beyond repute .:neuko:. has a reputation beyond repute .:neuko:. has a reputation beyond repute .:neuko:. has a reputation beyond repute .:neuko:. has a reputation beyond repute .:neuko:. has a reputation beyond repute .:neuko:. has a reputation beyond repute .:neuko:. has a reputation beyond repute .:neuko:.'s Avatar
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    Default Re: Literal Joke Thread

    Well I ain't to sure if this is literal joke or not, but... oh well, here goes...

    Q: Where does superman go to do his shopping?
    A: To the supermarket, like the rest of us.

  5. #5
    Senior Member DOOM! has a reputation beyond repute DOOM! has a reputation beyond repute DOOM! has a reputation beyond repute DOOM! has a reputation beyond repute DOOM! has a reputation beyond repute DOOM! has a reputation beyond repute DOOM! has a reputation beyond repute DOOM! has a reputation beyond repute DOOM! has a reputation beyond repute DOOM! has a reputation beyond repute DOOM! has a reputation beyond repute DOOM!'s Avatar
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    Default Re: Literal Joke Thread

    So a guy walks into my bar and he asks "I'm starving, haven't eaten in a few days. What do you got to eat?"
    So I had to arrest him and send him to reeducation.


  6. #6
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    Default Re: Literal Joke Thread


    I find it literal, Dwarve's always been alcoholic.
    Heeey!

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Literal Joke Thread

    A dog walks into a bar, with his right arm raised. He says "I'm looking for the man who shot my PAW!" One man stands up and says "I did, and I'm sorry." The dog then lunges at him and rips the flesh off his face.

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Literal Joke Thread

    Jesus and Saint Paul are sitting in heaven, talking about the pollution on earth and wondering what can be done about mankind's filthy ways. Jesus says he's going to pop down to Skegness to see the situation for himself, and Paul agrees to join him. When they get there, Jesus asks what the huge metal pipe is for. Paul tells him that it's used to take all the human waste out to sea where the muck kills dolphins. So Jesus decides to take action and strides out across the waves. Walking alongside, Paul is soon knee deep in filthy water - where as Jesus continues to effortlessy scoot along the top of the sea. Ever hopeful of some help, Paul slogs on, and Jesus keeps walking on water... but soon the water is up to Paul's chin. "Master!", he calls out, "As your faithful disciple I will follow you anywhere, as you know - but I am literally up to my neck in crap here and I think I am going to drown!" At this, Jesus stops walking and looks at Paul with a surprised expression on his face. "Well," he says, "Then why don't you walk on the pipe just under the water like me, you silly prick?"

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