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Thread: Death of You

  1. #1
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    Gil
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    Post Death of You

    Paled lips
    Statue-still
    Black snow falling
    Cold, dead chill

    Five seconds before,
    a warp to the past
    Heart beating strong
    Moments till its last

    Kiss your nose
    as you die
    Close your lids
    watch you lie

    In your corruption
    Breathless and weak
    Blood moves still
    Tears begin to leak

    Where have you gone?
    Where is your will?
    There's nothing else left;
    a cold, dead chill

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    Gil
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    Default Re: Death of You

    This poem reminds me of sleeping beauty, a little bit. LOVE "Statue-still." That is my favorite line. You have good structure and it flows nicely. The repetition of "a cold dead chill" at the end was chilling itself. Keep it up! ^.^

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