Naruto Fanfiction: The Clan Of Fire And Earth: Introduction Saga Part 1

[FluffybakuraHinataforever]

Credits for the GFX-Art to Neliel Tu Odershvank aka Winter

Hi

[Author Note: MOST IMPORTANT: PLEASE LEAVE A USABLE FEEDBACK SO I CAN IMPROVE MY FANFIC SINCE IT IS MY FIRST ONE AND PLEASE BE HONEST ABOUT IT.
[Author Note: there may be some VIOLENCE in this fanfic and there sure will be people being killed, although I won't describe the deaths and killing detailed.]
[Author Note: I'm from Austria, which means I speak German. In German it is custom to begin Nouns with capital letters, so I will begin all important nouns with a Capital Letter]
[Author Note: Basically I write about the events of the Naruto series as well as the future and past of it when I am a character there and of course I and my clan influence the events]
[Author Note: Flashbacks are written cursive and bold. Dreams will be cursive written. Exceptions are headlines.]
[Author Note: Thoughts of the main character are written like he is speaking only in brackets, for example "(man what a drag) sure i will do it"]
[Author Note: Everything that happens after the Chunin Exams and more precisely the invasion of Orochimaru is purely my decision, because I already put so many changes in the present and the past of the series that I can't guarantee further accuracy to the storyline of the series. Alone ARC 5 containing Chapter 12 -14 changes major things in the Naruto storyline.]

The Clan Of Fire And Earth SAGAs and ARCs:
1. Introduction Saga:

 

1.a)ARC 1: Introduction: Chapters: one - Introduction
1.b) ARC 2 :Anko-Sensei: Chapters: four - Meeting Anko-Sensei, The Genin Trial, Rock vs Leaf, The Head Of The Clan

Fluffybakura aka Hinataforever - FanFiction.Net

Saga 1

Arc 1,2

Chapter 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
__________________________________________________ ___________________________________________

First Saga:

The Introducing Saga

First Arc:

Introduction

:

 

ARC 1 - Inroduction

Chapter 1

Introduction

... ****, how did I get into this mess? Oh, yeah, I made them believe that Mastoika was what they were looking for. I'm sorry for doing that, Mastoika. But at least the Hidden Leaf Village, Anko-Sensei, Hinata, Ino, Shizune and Naruto are safe. Well, they will come after Naruto eventually.

My name is Johannes from the Wenezokei Clan. You may be very confused, where I am at the moment, why I am here and how I got here.
Well one thing after another. I better start at the beginning.......

I graduated at the age of 13 at the Ninja Academy in the Hidden Leaf Village. I was very proud to be the first of my clan to do so here in the Leaf Village.

Like many of my Clan I already had awoken my Kekkai Genkai . Nevertheless I still was too impatient and couldn't handle my Chakra correctly in order to find the hidden powers of the Kekkai Genkai.

The first thing everyone is taught in our clan is how to harden and shape Chakra. Some of our really skilled members can make unbelievably hard Chakra Walls and unbelievably sharp Chakra Blades by using this technique.

Since our Dojutsu Kuckigan is only a rather weak Dojutsu it doesn't take much to awaken it. It only gives us the ability to see Chakra no matter how hard or concentrated it is, as long as it isn't covered up by something. The Chakra of our Clan has the ability to be invisible to the normal human eye no matter how hard or concentrated it is. Only users of the Sharingan, Byakugan and the Kuckigan can see it. But ninjas with good chakra control can sense it.

Since my closer family members were killed in the struggle between our Clan and the Hidden Rock Village (weeks after I was born) where we used to live, I was raised to be the new Head of the Clan.

Our Clan is divided into two parts: The Head Family and the Main Family. All members have the same rights and are treated equally. Everybody has his or her abilities and duties in the Clan. The only difference between the two families is that the Head Family administers the activities and knows how to open the Clan Library.

When the Village that gave my Clan a home or the Clan itself is in danger, the Head of my Clan gives orders that have to be followed by everyone. Everyone can ask about the reason and usefulness of the orders but has to obey them once they are given. When such a crisis occurs like just mentioned the women and children as well as the old people and craftsmen are evacuated immediately. After that the Head gives every member, that is able to fight direct and accurate orders what to do, which must be followed. Members that didn't want to do so left the Clan.

Despite this very strict structure there was only one member who left the Clan.

Shortly after Graduation from the Academy I became the Head of the Clan (the only person to be named Lord or -Sama inside the Clan). Outside the Clan nobody knows who the head is to prevent a planned assassination of the Head of the Clan by Tracking Ninjas of the Hidden Rock Village or Bounty Hunters. Neither the Hokage nor the Tsuchikage know or knew who the head of my Clan was.

I was assigned to the very scary Kinoichi Anko Mitarashi. Since only four (including me) students graduated, I was left without team members in my age.

In the next Chapter:

First I meet this strange guy with those unbelievably big eyebrows, then this arrogant Hyuga guy picks on me and then I'm told I don't have any squad members. What the hell is going on?

Meeting Anko-Sensei

[OminousCloud]

It's an alright introduction but it feels too much like a random fact file, it just feels very disjointed.

You may be very confused, where I am at the moment, why I am here and how I got here.

Where is here? You haven't introduced a setting at all. Nor have you described what Johannes looks like. Also, it would be helpful to the reader if you include an explanation of the more technical Japanese terms like 'kekkai genkai', 'dojutsu' etc. Not everyone would be familiar with what these terms mean even if they are familiar with the Naruto series.