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Thread: Death Afterlife: Chapter 1

  1. #1
    Ellxeeva's Minion SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD's Avatar
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    Default Death Afterlife: Chapter 1

    These upcoming chapters are shorter than the later ones, but they offer up back story on the main character. I did my best not to give away too much of his physical appearance because I want people to make up their own image of the main character. The action won't start until about chapter 12 or so. I might make these chapters longer eventually, but at the moment they're kind of rushed so I could get to the main plot ASAP.

    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Part 1: Before the Ordeal
    Chapter 1

    My name is Sainto Daye. Yeah I know I have a weird name but that is only because my parents are religious. Whenever something good happens they believe that they are blessed by God or something and it gets really annoying. They even tried to get me to believe and I believed them. I prayed every night and asked him to protect everyone I loved but all that belief came shattering down when I was nine years old; I threw all the faith I had away like it was nothing. It all happened when I said I was working on a school play with my classmates. I didn’t tell my parents until the day before the performance because I wanted to surprise them. They were both excited to see me up on stage since they always saw me at home. I guess they were happy that I was finally out doing something seeing as how I spent most of my days locked in my room not doing anything. Dad got of work early that day so he got me all ready for my part and we were waiting for my mother. She called home and dad passed her to me.

    “I’m sorry Sain, but I probably won’t be able to attend your school play. I’m up to my head with work right now.”, my mom said frantically and I could tell she was working hard while talking to me.

    “But mom, you promised me. You and dad are always telling me how I don’t have friends and that I should do something with my classmates. Its my first time doing something as a group and I want both of you to watch. Please mom!”, I pleaded desperately.

    “Alright I’ll see what I can do, but I’m really sure I won’t be able to make it”

    “Well if you don’t, then… I will never forgive you!”, I said as I hung up the phone.

    Dad scolded me and called back so I could apologize but mom never answered the phone. We just assumed she was too busy, so we continued working on my costume and headed to school. My dad saved an empty seat next to him, but I could tell that he didn’t think mom would be coming. I still had faith that she would come, so I practiced my lines all the way until the curtains were up. I was the big bad wolf, so my part meant I was on stage most of the time. It was perfect since I could keep on looking to see whether my mom came or not. I looked, and I looked, but she never came.

    We arrived home and dad tried to cheer me up like he always did.

    “Don’t worry champ, I caught it all on video, so she will definitely watch it once she’s home and she will see how good you were”

    “Yeah, yeah whatever.” I said as I quickly changed from my costume.

    Dad always checks the messages when he gets home, and I wanted to hear if she at least sounded sorry in her message, or if she even left a message. What we heard from the answering machine wasn’t my mom, but a middle –aged man who said he was a detective. He said he wanted to talk to my father, and he immediately displayed a worried look on his face. This probably meant that I would have to put up with Suzie, the sixteen year old babysitter that likes to talk to me about her social life. Luckily he got home fast, but I was still worried about what happened, and I wondered if mom was still busy.

    Dad dismissed Suzie and gave her the days pay, then he grabbed me by the hand and sat me down next to him.

    “Sainto, I have something important to tell you. You have to be strong for me okay, and if you want to cry, you can. There’s no shame son.”

    I was worried immediately after he said my name. He usually calls me Sain, or champ, or some other goofy nickname he comes up with. But whenever he said my name I could tell that something serious had happened.

    “Maybe we should wait until mom gets home,” I said thoughtlessly. “She would probably want to hear it too.”

    I could see the pained look on his face, and it seemed as if he was holding tears back.

    “Listen Sain, it’s about your mother. She was in a car accident and… well…son… she’s with God now.”

    As soon as he said that sentenced I tried on a forced smile, and a pained chuckle slipped out. Surely he was joking. My dad was always joking around like that, maybe he just wanted to see me cry so he could take a picture. But for some reason my body could tell he wasn’t lying. As soon as my chuckle died off my face suddenly got a sad expression. I held back the tears and tried to say something, but nothing came out. My father held his head down and I could tell he was crying. I had never seen dad cry in his life; he was always a joker and if you didn’t see him laughing you saw him smiling. But never in my mind would I picture him in the state he was in now. I continued my failed attempt at talking, but all that came out was an ahh, and holding back the tears did nothing anymore as I felt the salty drop trickle down my cheek. My father hugged me as hard as he could and we just stood there in a sorrowful heap.

    When we finally got a hold of ourselves my father told me everything. He explained how my mom was in a car accident and passed away. Apparently someone got behind the wheel intoxicated and was speeding, lost control, and ran into incoming traffic, where my mom was on her way to my school play. Her boss handed her a special report she had to take care off, so ignoring it would risk her job. Yet she did it anyway, all so she could fulfill the promise she made me.

    I stared at my big bad wolf costume. It looked terrifying with its sharp fangs and its sinister smile. After what I did to my mother; I would no longer need to wear the costume to be considered bad. It would be hard to go to sleep but my dad insisted I go to sleep early even though it was a Friday. I went down on my knees and clasped my hands together just like I always did when I prayed. Today was going to be different, instead of asking for protection I was going to ask God for my mother. I wanted her back so badly. I wanted to apologize for the last thing I said to her, and I wanted her to be by my side again so I could feel her warm embrace. I promised God that I would be a good boy from then on if he returned my mother to me.

    I woke up that morning with tear soaked eyes since I was crying most of the night. Right now wasn’t the time to lie down I thought to myself. I remembered the promise I made God and wondered if he had listened to me. Quickly I rushed to my parents’ room to see if she was there and if everything had been a nightmare, but to no avail. She wasn’t there. The whole day I was on my best behavior, but my mother was nowhere. That night I slowly went to my knees and clasped my hands, but before I said anything I got up.
    I did the same routine for a week, then a month, and pretty soon two months had passed, but my mother never returned. God had not kept his promise. He didn’t protect my mother and he did not return her to me. God was a liar. I went to bed, looked up at the ceiling, then looked to the side. From then on I would never pray to God again.
    Last edited by SigmaSD; 08-17-2010 at 04:24 AM.
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    Default Re: Original Fiction: Death Afterlife: Chapter 1

    this- as far as i've read- a strong story. though the way it was shown was too flat. where are all the emotions the thoughts deep inside Sainto's head. imma keep on reading +rep




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    Ellxeeva's Minion SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD's Avatar
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    Default Re: Original Fiction: Death Afterlife: Chapter 1

    Quote Originally Posted by beyond_birthday View Post
    this- as far as i've read- a strong story. though the way it was shown was too flat. where are all the emotions the thoughts deep inside Sainto's head. imma keep on reading +rep
    There is actually a sort of mini introductory chapter that gives you an idea of where the story is going. I've been meaning to keep proofreading these first couple of chapters cause I sorta rushed them cause I wanted to get into the meat of the story. I added a few more details later in the story though. I've got more chapters than the ones I posted written. Its just that I haven't gotten around to proofreading those either. I got kinda lazy with it. But well...Imma work on them this thanksgiving weekend soo... Thanks for the reply. *hugsy*
    If Minecraft had a Japanese intro.

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