Online relationships - Do they work? Are they real?

[Ramona Flowers]

Yoko: What about those relationships and marriages where their significant other is in the military, deployed every year, has to go to different places for a week or often longer for mere training? Making arrangements to see each other? Or those who work on oil rigs? etc etc? o_0 obviously going long periods of time without seeing each other and often having to make plans when to see each other again as so often we wont always sit in the place they left us

[konkikushuro]

they can worl trust me
I have been in a real life online relationship!
it's a little hard but's it's still possible btw the girl i was in a relatioon ship with was a class mate i knew before i moved

[aether]

What you also have to consider is that there are online dating sites that work so evidently online relationships do work.

And also since I am currently in an online relationship I'd have to say yes they do work, true that there is a 6 hour time difference between us but we get around it and I am willing to travel over to America.

Also if you consider 'never talk to strangers' then first of all you wouldn't make friends off-line as you wouldn't speak to anyone and also when you have new teachers at school they are technically strangers so why would you talk to them?

[Himimimimi]

Oh, I can write a novel about this topic.

I was actually just in an online relationship. We met in May on an MMO. We were very compatible, or so I thought anyway.
In August I flew down to see him for 2 weeks (I live on westcoast Canada, he lives on eastcoast USA)
It was alot of fun, but unfortunately it didn't last, and we broke up as soon as I got back home.

I don't regret it one bit. It was my first relationship so I was really inexperienced.. and at first I was really worried about him being a predator at first..
but as I got to know him, I found he was a really nice, normal anime fan like me :3
As of today, we're still friends.. though we don't talk as much as we used to.

So in short:
Is it worth it? Yes, but it's alot of work to keep it going.
Do they actually work? If two people really love each other enough, it should workout in the end.
Are they real? As real as any relationship. I think nowadays alot more people are finding their significant others online.


Just thought I'd put my two cents in.. I'm bored.

[Psyco_Panda]

My dad and step mom met on eharmony. They dated for a year then got married. They have been married for 5 years now.

[aether]

To be honest I think meeting people online is a good thing as it mixes cultures together

[Light Buster]

I haven't used it yet so no, it doesn't work yet.

I have to use it to see if it works. Other people may come up to you and say it works but you need to do it yourself to see for yourself.

[brolyx74]

I'm not childish or wrong for expressing my opinion. "I have no right", umm, expressing my opinion kind of falls under freedom of speech doesn't it? Or maybe I'm mistaken. And, I'm not saying people can't or shouldn't have online relationships, but I am saying I don't believe they are real. I will agree that they can be a stepping stone towards a real relationship, but just talking to someone online does not make a real relationship in my opinion. eharmony, from my understanding, is a dating serviuce where you meet the person inb real life, and interact with them in real life, and the only online part is that other people match you up online. Since they go on real dates, I would consider that a real relationship. People who meet online "date" and then get married, well, I consider their relationship real when they actually start living with each other/interacting in real life, wether that start during the bf/gf stage or the husband/wife stage. Un til then, I don't see it as real. I'm not trying to put anyone down, but siumply expressing my opinion. So, excuse me princess if my opinion doesn't coincide with your thoughts, that doesn't make it wrong for me to share it. Oh, and please explain to me how my opnion is childish. I just think a relationship needs to be in real life fro it to be real. I mean, just because I have a dog online doesn't mean I actually have a real dog.

[thcuteness]

True but meeting them face to face sure does help the relationship and keeps you from feeling like your dating your computer.

[Hanamaru Kunikida]

@Yoko: Ever thought of speaking with your mouth, instead of with your ***? Everything that comes from you is crap, and it's making you look really retarded.

[aether]

Ah shut up Kaitou Kid what right do you have to restrict what others say?

[Hanamaru Kunikida]

Ah shut up Kaitou Kid what right do you have to restrict what others say?

Speaking of the devil, Mr. I am stranded on a island, so I'm half buried.

I never said he wasn't allowed to state his opinion, he's just saying it with his *** instead of with his mouth. That's all.

But I forgot I was speaking to you, so it must have been really hard to understand.

I don't plan on drifting this thread, but did you read my post in Psycho's thread? Yeah, I meant it.

*leaves thread*

[aether]

Seriously what is your problem lately?

[Sky1995]

hmmm......

well i wanna give my opnion to about online relationship

I think that it will work for some ppl and that it won't work for some ppl
u know
finding your true love can on different ways:
School
Cafe
Beach
etc.

so why not via the internet ?
i dont do such things cause i can only really love some1 if i once looked them deep in the eyes and yea some ppl can be fake on the internet xD
but yea.....
every1 has his own story how he finded his true love
but yea you can also like some1 via the internet and after 1 year does he/she says that he/she wans't the person she used to be to u.


but who cares ?
if ppl like to do it via the internet then let them do that
as long as they find theyre true love is it alright (h)


sorry for my bad English =_=

[Hypnotik]

*leaves thread*

WOOOO *applauds*

Everything that Yoko said is 100% true. don't get so butt hurt.

[Hanamaru Kunikida]

WOOOO *applauds*

Everything that Yoko said is 100% true. don't get so butt hurt.

That post wasn't even directed to Yoko. O_o o_O

Read who I was quoting next time, kay?

thxbai.

[Hypnotik]

@Yoko: Ever thought of speaking with your mouth, instead of with your ***? Everything that comes from you is crap, and it's making you look really retarded.

I kan reedz too. I thought you were leaving? gtfokthxbai

[blueangel06661]

I kan reedz too. I thought you were leaving? gtfokthxbai

That post wasn't even directed to Yoko. O_o o_O

Read who I was quoting next time, kay?

thxbai.

Sigh... Okay you two don't you start anything now. -___-; Least contribute something about online dating rather than biting each others heads off. I'll put both of you in time out...

[~*Red*~]

I've been in three and the first two didn't work out, because the girls said they were going to turn to God and that just floored me. The third one said we should just be friends (which we are to this day). Online relationships didn't work out for me, but I think they might work if you have patience and so on.

[aether]

I guess they work for some and not for others

[Skylar1]

wow.. you guys..

Maybe you could actually -tell- yoko what it is exactly you disagree with in his argument rather than just saying "your stupid; shut up" >_>

Anyways, I've taken a long enough break from debating, time to get back into the good ol' routine. This is the only major qualm I have:

but just talking to someone online does not make a real relationship in my opinion.

But why though? Does someone somehow stop being a person when they go online?

[aether]

Apparently yes according to Yoko we all suddenly become machines

[brolyx74]

A relationship is not just 2 random people. A relationship is comprised of many factors. The 2 people themselves being real is not my main concern in why an online relationship is not real.

Well, my thinking for this is that when this thread mentions relationships, I assume it refers to romantic relationships, and by romantic, I mean it pursues amorous, physical relations aswell as intellectual and emotional. It is possible to have a friendship with people online, but without contact, I don't believe one can have a romantic relationship.

To me, you can't consider it a real relationship if you've never actually met the person. "I have a boyfriend. I've never gone out with him, spoken to him in real life, or even met him, but we're dating." Seriously now. Sorry, but no matter how well you try to argue against that, you can't change my opinion on that matter. To me, its like people who say their in love after knowing someone for a day. You barely know the person, you may be infatuated, but your not in love. *Note, I do not believe anyone has 1 true love, or that pure love at the emotional level exists.*

Also, to me, when dealing with people online, you don't like the actual person, but the persona of that person, since you never actually know if the person is being honest with anything they say. Yes, you may encounter this problem in real life to, but it is less common in the real world.

[Skylar1]

Well, my thinking for this is that when this thread mentions relationships, I assume it refers to romantic relationships, and by romantic, I mean it pursues amorous, physical relations aswell as intellectual and emotional. It is possible to have a friendship with people online, but without contact, I don't believe one can have a romantic relationship.

But wait, so if your definition would require actual "physical contact" then would you consider two people who -do- know each other in person, but have never actually made physical contact, not in a relationship?

Because if it's physical contact that makes the distinction, then it doesn't matter if the other person is 2 inches away, or 2000 miles away; in person, or behind a computer screen.

Also, to me, when dealing with people online, you don't like the actual person, but the persona of that person, since you never actually know if the person is being honest with anything they say. Yes, you may encounter this problem in real life to, but it is less common in the real world.

I have to stop you right there too, because, every single person that exists, uses a persona. wiki, GO

In the study of communication, persona is a term given to describe the versions of self that all individuals possess. Behaviours are selected according to the desired impression an individual wishes to create when interacting with other people.

EVERYTHING you do is part of your persona. When you want to make a good impression, be polite, gain respect, be humorous, or do anything that in anyway suppresses any given area of your social being and enhances another, you are using a persona. Nobody is "persona-free" (the only way you could probably do that would be.. I dunno, maybe telepathy)

Talking to your boss at work, and talking to a buddy of yours, ect., you're going to use different body language and a more appropriate lexicon for both.

Everybody lies in one way or another whenever they interact with.. anyone; online or otherwise. That is just how human social interaction works.

[brolyx74]

But wait, so if your definition would require actual "physical contact" then would you consider two people who -do- know each other in person, but have never actually made physical contact, not in a relationship?

Because if it's physical contact that makes the distinction, then it doesn't matter if the other person is 2 inches away, or 2000 miles away; in person, or behind a computer screen.



I have to stop you right there too, because, every single person that exists, uses a persona. wiki, GO



EVERYTHING you do is part of your persona. When you want to make a good impression, be polite, gain respect, be humorous, or do anything that in anyway suppresses any given area of your social being and enhances another, you are using a persona. Nobody is "persona-free" (the only way you could probably do that would be.. I dunno, maybe telepathy)

Talking to your boss at work, and talking to a buddy of yours, ect., you're going to use different body language and a more appropriate lexicon for both.

Everybody lies in one way or another whenever they interact with.. anyone; online or otherwise. That is just how human social interaction works.

You don't have to make contact every second of the day but if the two people have never even touched each other like in your example, then I would not consider them in a relationship, unless one of them has a flesh eating virus, but I bet that would be a pretty rare thing.

But in real life people can't lie about whether they are a man or a woman, an adult or a child, black or white, etc. I have use multiple personas in real life, but the differences in them are only there to accentuate certain aspects of my mind, not to lie about myself.

In real life a 40 year old man can't go up to a boy and pretend to be a 13 year old girl.