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Thread: the emptiness inside

  1. #1
    Senior Member polaris 北極星 has a reputation beyond repute polaris 北極星 has a reputation beyond repute polaris 北極星 has a reputation beyond repute polaris 北極星 has a reputation beyond repute polaris 北極星 has a reputation beyond repute polaris 北極星 has a reputation beyond repute polaris 北極星 has a reputation beyond repute polaris 北極星 has a reputation beyond repute polaris 北極星 has a reputation beyond repute polaris 北極星 has a reputation beyond repute polaris 北極星 has a reputation beyond repute polaris 北極星's Avatar
    Gil
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    Default the emptiness inside

    i wrote this poem a while back. this is a look into the dark side of my heart...


    so much sadness trapped inside
    running out of places to hide
    constantly pretending its not there...
    the emotional scars i reluctantly wear
    so hungry, eating away at me
    fearful: is this how itíll always be?
    how can i love...when i hate myself
    spilling onto everyone else
    depression transformed into anger
    like an anchor; dragging me down
    behind this smile is a frown
    like a crown...i have to wear
    i swear
    lifeís not fair
    but i knew that already
    taking me steadily
    ...down
    the feeling i hate to embrace
    has a face; my own
    they say you reap what you sow
    tell me something i dont know
    continuing to grow
    taking away... what i thought happiness was
    all of this because
    its the way its supposed to be
    stripping away everything
    leaving behing something broken and dead
    leaving behind...a breathing shell
    reality is my hell
    im dead inside
    just along for the ride
    i can never hope to escape
    my ultimate fate
    searching for something iíll never find
    only EMPTINESS INSIDE
    the final reveal
    the nothingness i feel
    because inside im dead
    except for the voices...
    inside my head
    in my head theres a greyhound station, where i send my thoughts to far off destinations.... so they may have a chance of finding a place, thats far more suited than here (ben gibbard)

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  2. #2
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    Default Re: the emptiness inside

    This poem is very deep, so much emotion coursing through it. Great rhyming and great flow ^^ but as you said to me, you can display your feelings through your words very well too.

    Amazing set by
    Ezza Obsuna ^^

    The days fly by and the feelings remain
    So far away and causing us pain
    That's okay we'll make it through
    Soon we'll get to say "I love you"



  3. #3
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    Default Re: the emptiness inside

    i liked it. It's deep. Like lyrics to a rap song. Lyrics for Eminem. Mad props to you bro.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Ellxeeva has a reputation beyond repute Ellxeeva has a reputation beyond repute Ellxeeva has a reputation beyond repute Ellxeeva has a reputation beyond repute Ellxeeva has a reputation beyond repute Ellxeeva has a reputation beyond repute Ellxeeva has a reputation beyond repute Ellxeeva has a reputation beyond repute Ellxeeva has a reputation beyond repute Ellxeeva has a reputation beyond repute Ellxeeva has a reputation beyond repute Ellxeeva's Avatar
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    Default Re: the emptiness inside

    Aw, I can relate to this. My soul is leaving my body again polaris... O_O
    A sad but beautiful poem. :')

    Live Fast. Die Young. Be Wild. Have fun.
    -LDR

  5. #5
    Senior Member polaris 北極星 has a reputation beyond repute polaris 北極星 has a reputation beyond repute polaris 北極星 has a reputation beyond repute polaris 北極星 has a reputation beyond repute polaris 北極星 has a reputation beyond repute polaris 北極星 has a reputation beyond repute polaris 北極星 has a reputation beyond repute polaris 北極星 has a reputation beyond repute polaris 北極星 has a reputation beyond repute polaris 北極星 has a reputation beyond repute polaris 北極星 has a reputation beyond repute polaris 北極星's Avatar
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    Default Re: the emptiness inside

    thanks!!!

    its an old poem, i think i posted it here once before... but most of you are newer so i can post again and it still be PC.
    in my head theres a greyhound station, where i send my thoughts to far off destinations.... so they may have a chance of finding a place, thats far more suited than here (ben gibbard)

    www.soundcloud.com/theparadox
    www.myspace.com/polaristheparadox
    www.bombeatzmusic.com
    www.jamvana.com

  6. #6
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    Default Re: the emptiness inside

    You really do write great poetry, and like mentioned in one of your previous poems, it truly sounds like lyrics of a song. I was fascinated by the richness of imagery, especially the every end. You really captivated the essence of the title and truly taught us what it is like to be empty inside. What I like most is the fact that you instilled a sense of living through dead material; like a soul-less body that's struggling to survive.

    But a breathing shell is still alive, and through mending the wounds can heal. Just wanted to bring some light out of the darkness, sorry.

    I love this poem, fascinating job again polaris.
    If Minecraft had a Japanese intro.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature...&v=H5qFZjuKet4

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  7. #7
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    Default Re: the emptiness inside

    Impressive.

    Fascinated by the rain, influenced by the wind. Adventure for fun.

  8. #8
    Senior Member polaris 北極星 has a reputation beyond repute polaris 北極星 has a reputation beyond repute polaris 北極星 has a reputation beyond repute polaris 北極星 has a reputation beyond repute polaris 北極星 has a reputation beyond repute polaris 北極星 has a reputation beyond repute polaris 北極星 has a reputation beyond repute polaris 北極星 has a reputation beyond repute polaris 北極星 has a reputation beyond repute polaris 北極星 has a reputation beyond repute polaris 北極星 has a reputation beyond repute polaris 北極星's Avatar
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    Default Re: the emptiness inside

    just so you all know, this is an old poem... it in no way reflects any current feelings i may have. my world is definately filled with love and light these days. but looking back on this poem has helped me to realize how the world can look totally different through emotional eyes. when you are in the dark, all you can see and feel is emptiness: you can feel its absolute seperation. but when you live in the light, you become one with the light. i feel ive come a long way since i wrote this. and im blessed to not be in the dark anymore! just thought id share that.....
    in my head theres a greyhound station, where i send my thoughts to far off destinations.... so they may have a chance of finding a place, thats far more suited than here (ben gibbard)

    www.soundcloud.com/theparadox
    www.myspace.com/polaristheparadox
    www.bombeatzmusic.com
    www.jamvana.com

  9. #9
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    Default Re: the emptiness inside

    Thanks for the explanation, and I'm glad you managed to find that light at the end of the dark tunnel. *nod nod* Which means you're nothing like how you felt in the poem. Tbh though whenever I read poetry I don't relate it to the author cause sometimes they don't write about their feelings, so I try not to assume. Usually people give hints as to why they write it so that's who I know if the poem really relates to them or not.
    If Minecraft had a Japanese intro.

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  10. #10
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    Default Re: the emptiness inside

    Quote Originally Posted by polaris 北極星 View Post
    i wrote this poem a while back. this is a look into the dark side of my heart...

    they say you reap what you sow
    tell me something i dont know
    Syllable wise, it sounds better to extend "tell me something I don't know" to "tell me something I do not know". The contraction gives it a rather unnatural abruptness.


    Tru Fax: Princess Minako wrestled Jesus... and won










  11. #11
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    Default Re: the emptiness inside

    "the feeling i hate to embrace
    has a face; my own
    they say you reap what you sow"

    ^Wow, that part was exceptional!

    The entire poem is great, though. This poem reminds me so much of how I used to be. It's such a hard thing to go through... hating yourself but given time it can and will change and you can find love/happiness.


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