To Wed Or Not To Wed

[Shinn Kamiyra]

Meh, I don't really see the point in putting too much stock in the notion of marriage. Granted, you don't have to do much research to know just how marriages fail here in the U.S.; and the hundred+ reasons why it happened. However, judging from what I've seen, I think people take it too seriously. In this respect, it's not so strange to see people grow into the opinion that marriage is more of a burden then they imagined; and, should this happen, it's also a predictable course that said person will look for an outlet to relieve some of that burden.

I'm not saying it doesn't have its up-sides, but it just seems like too much thinking has to be put into it to really enjoy it. I say just nix the whole thing and enjoy your life as best you can with your significant other.

[Meenah]

Why would anyone get married, except for the tax breaks. Marriage is one of the worst things in society. I'd say that only mentally ill people would actually conse=ider going through with such a terrible thing, but thats an insult to the mentally disabled. To wed or not to wed? Not to wed. Not for the costs, but just because it's marriage.

Last time I checked is that marriage is a commitment between two people that truely love each other.
Perhaps my parents who are married for 31 years are mentally ill, let me tell you that. They laugh, support each other, build a family and keep each other happy is very horrible. My happy, still-married parents are the worst thing to happen in the society.

I'm sorry, but if you don't want to get married, that is fine by other people. But it was kind of a stupid thing for you to even say garbage like that. Sure, there are some divorces. But things happen, but it doesn't happen to everyone. And to be real quite honest, I want to have a marriage with a person I love to last long as my parents. Its a full commitment and I would personally go for it. Yeah lemme tell you, I'm mentally ill because I want to be happy with a person I love when I get married.

[Armageddon]

Last time I checked is that marriage is a commitment between two people that truely love each other.
Perhaps my parents who are married for 31 years are mentally ill, let me tell you that. They laugh, support each other, build a family and keep each other happy is very horrible. My happy, still-married parents are the worst thing to happen in the society.

I'm sorry, but if you don't want to get married, that is fine by other people. But it was kind of a stupid thing for you to even say garbage like that. Sure, there are some divorces. But things happen, but it doesn't happen to everyone. And to be real quite honest, I want to have a marriage with a person I love to last long as my parents. Its a full commitment and I would personally go for it. Yeah lemme tell you, I'm mentally ill because I want to be happy with a person I love when I get married.

I agree with Sheng here, I don`t oppose to marriage at all, beleive me. It`s beautiful and emmotional celebration. But a decision that should never be taken too lightly without much thought.
Though, I do believe you should wait once you`re old enough and mature enough to handle the responsibility and commitment that a marriage entails.

I was engaged at just before 19; married at 20; divorced at 21.

So in saying this.. Between the ages of 19 - 21 would I fall into the category as being mentally disabled person?
Uh.. No.

[blueangel06661]

I also agree with Sheng Li... Thats really unfortunate for you to think that marriage is so horribly wrong. My parents got divorced like 3 months after I was born. I have nothing against divorces people have their reasons. But I don't go hating on marriages as well. For some people they can take their time and make it work. I hope I'll also be with someone I'll really love and will figure out how to make it work.

Yoko... I'm sure that one day you'll probably get married and not for the cost.... When you do I'd like you to think back on this time you called everyone mentally retarded. You have no idea what the future brings. Your feelings might change once you grow up.

[Uta-chan~]

I say; cheap wedding, expensive honeymoon ;P

[Genghis Beatrix]

As a note before I get to replying to this thread, I saw ads for divorce lawyers for where I live. Shows you how much faith society has in marriages.

Anyways, I have noticed that people are saying that why do people need a piece of paper or a ring to say that they are married? I have been married for two years now without a piece of paper or ceremony. How you ask? Because there is a state, Texas, where the law says basically that if you call each other husband and wife and view each other that way, then you are married.

[Skylar1]

Because there is a state, Texas, where the law says basically that if you call each other husband and wife and view each other that way, then you are married.

@beatrix_bunny220:
What are the legal ramifications of that? How does it get recognized by the state? When is this verbal contract considered void/nullified?

I have not heard of this before. Do you have a source you can provide?

[Genghis Beatrix]

http://www.ncsl.org/default.aspx?tabid=4265

There is the source. And if you "break up", you have to get a divorce.

[Furore]

Whatever works for the person as an individual.

Some believe in marriage, some don't, of those groups some have a ton of money to throw around, others don't. Some would be content with a bare basics wedding, others will not. Perhaps humans are polygamous by nature, but it is also true that some of us greatly shy from our bestial roots. Some people are monogamous, not because it's encoded in their makeup but because there's more to their relationship - believe it or not sometimes a pair of people can enjoy each other's company enough that they can stay together until they part in death.

[Wio]

Last time I checked is that marriage is a commitment between two people that truely love each other.

Marriage is just a legal contract with specific benefits. People who don't love each other can get married and often do. People who do love each other can't get married sometimes. If it were anything different in the past, such is no the case anymore.

Sure, there are some divorces.

And the award for the biggest understatement in this thread goes to...
Most marriage ends in divorce. This is devastating to the men who practically lose their children and are reduced to a very humble standard of living.
But I guess that's okay because it only happens to most marriages, right?

[Meenah]

Marriage is just a legal contract with specific benefits. People who don't love each other can get married and often do. People who do love each other can't get married sometimes. If it were anything different in the past, such is no the case anymore.


And the award for the biggest understatement in this thread goes to...
Most marriage ends in divorce. This is devastating to the men who practically lose their children and are reduced to a very humble standard of living.
But I guess that's okay because it only happens to most marriages, right?

I guess, but thats just how I view how marriage is. I just think of two people that truely love each other and they're willing to make a commitment to be together. Its a little sad to know that there's some people are just married, but not love each other. Sounds a little stupid to be real honest. Why do they do that? I can think many reasons but, I wouldn't completely know.

As for divorces, thats also sad as well. Its something I don't normally see, especially from the kind of family I come from. However, my grandpa did remarry. Only because his first wife passed away. So thats a different story. Other than that, I don't see it from my family, only from people I know which is almost all of them. ;/

[Furore]

It's a calculated risk. Some countries even allow you to write up an agreement in advance to determine where assets will go in the event of a break up.

If a person isn't into marriage, fine, but others are glad (or stupid, granted) enough to take any risks.

[None of the above]

1) Do you want to reckon yourself very intellectual or what?! Why would it matter to you if couples decide to get married or not? You aren't being paid to figure out the statistical/sociological/anthropological reasons and neither is it the right frame to discuss this question in depth on an Anime Forum.

2) I love how you guys and girls are talking about "facts" and "evidence", and yet I see none of that in this whole thread. "Monogamy - Oh noez!!! That was so yesterday. I want to be a teenage prick and do it all and all and all. No one can ever tie me to a person! All you newly weds suck so much!" Is there a hint of jealousy inside? Seems like it is.

3) Weddings are very personal events undertaken by very personal commitments as an expression of very personal and intense feelings. Marriage shouldn't feel like you are sent to jail. If it does, you're doing something wrong.

[Moomba]

I have been engaged since Feb 09, I personally cannot wait for the day I say "I do" yes it may sound pathetic to most people, but for me, marriage is having the courage to face a church packed with people all eyes on me and my beloved, announcing our love and making our solemn vows to one another, to have that day to celebrate our love with our family and friends, it's also a day for both families to formally meet and greet and get to know one another have that family bond.

I wont be spending a fortune on our wedding, my dress alone costs only a fraction of what typical wedding dresses cost, I don't do expensive stuff, i'm happy just to have my special day with the man I give my life to.

So for me the option is definitely, To Wed.

[brolyx74]

2) I love how you guys and girls are talking about "facts" and "evidence", and yet I see none of that in this whole thread. "Monogamy - Oh noez!!! That was so yesterday. I want to be a teenage prick and do it all and all and all. No one can ever tie me to a person! All you newly weds suck so much!" Is there a hint of jealousy inside? Seems like it is.

I know I can't speak for everyone,but for me,you're dead wrong. Yes, I did use polygamy as a reason against marriage, but I personally put no stock into sex. I really dn't view it that highly, so the teenage prick comment is way off. Also, on your jealousy tangent, why is it that when someone can't figure out why someone doesn't like something, they always think its jealousy. "you don't like twilight???? You're just jealous that you didn't think of it yourself" Umm, no, I just don'tlike twilight. And I'm not jealous of married people. I don't want to be married, so I must be jealous of married people. that makes so much sense. It has nothing to do with the metaphorical castration or the painful legalities or even the boring religious views,especially for a nonreligious person. No no,it must be jealousy. Thats the only thing that makes sense.

[Anoleis]

It has nothing to do with the metaphorical castration

Couples still have intercourse, even when married.

or the painful legalities

You go down to the courts and get a paper, I had more trouble getting a state issue ID.

or even the boring religious views,especially for a nonreligious person.

XD Marriage has been a financial and political institution for quite sometime. You do not have to be religious to get married.

[brolyx74]

I don't care about sex, but the removal from dominance and lack of superiority. I did say metaphorical, not physical.

I look at it more at the divorce end on this one. All of the lawyers and paperwork and the woman taking my stuff. Sorry, but when over 50% of marriages end in divorce, I really wouldn't want to take that wager, and I love gambling.

In order to be married in the eyes of God, you must go through a lot of religious bullcrap.

Anyway, my point was that if someone doesn't like something, maybe its because they don't like it. It doesn't mean they are jealous.

[Anoleis]

but the removal from dominance and lack of superiority.

It's a relationship, not a dictatorship. If you think every marriage is where the groom "metaphorically" chops his testicles off I suggest gaining some life experience.

I look at it more at the divorce end on this one. All of the lawyers and paperwork and the woman taking my stuff. Sorry, but when over 50% of marriages end in divorce[citation needed], I really wouldn't want to take that wager, and I love gambling.

In order to be married in the eyes of God, you must go through a lot of religious bullcrap.

Lol, implying marriage has more than just couple words, actions, and some background associated with religion.

[Skylar1]

I don't care about sex, but the removal from dominance and lack of superiority. I did say metaphorical, not physical.

this.. doesn't make sense.

In order to be married in the eyes of God, you must go through a lot of religious bullcrap.

This is fallacious. If you're religious, it wouldn't be seen as a negative endeavor.

[brolyx74]

My parents were both raised religiously, but because they weren't married in a church and didn't go through some 6 month marriage training thing, they are technically not religiously considered marriage. And, maybe it doesn't make sense becaus of how I worded it, but I wasn't talking about rule over the other person, but rule over your own decisions and other aspects of your life. Yes, you get to influence your partners life, but I would rather have total control over my life than someone elses. mostly, I refer to marriages that have failed and where the wife was a vindictive *****.

[Meenah]

Thats easy: don't get married at all.

I guess you care about other people enough to not get involved with them.

[brolyx74]

Exactly, I don't plan on getting married.

I'm sure you meant that last part as an insult, but I don't care. My dreams don't consist of starting a family and settling down in some little house in the suburbs, but betting an awesome apartment with a walk in suit closet and a job in film production. Not exactly the norm, but it works for me.