To Wed Or Not To Wed

[Robin Sena]

Right. It seems the American economy crisis just struck another aspect of that which we cherish as dear--the marriage industry, in matters of wedding and marriage expenses, e.g., the costs of tuxedos, wedding togs, flowers, churches, rewceptions, food, photo coverage, gifts and a home to live in as well as raising children, as such, the so many people unemployed, it seems many Americans, with marriage dreams in mind, have been turning the corner in effect, for fear of winding up more broke than before.

Robin.

[Anime-Prince]

That all depends on your definition of 'wedding'..

[TomoyoSakagami]

If they truly love each other, it shouldn't matter whether they are married or not.
Also coming from a expenses point of view, it would be wiser not too. However, it's all down to personal opinion.

[Anime-Prince]

Again.. it depends on what you think a wedding consists of.

[Anoleis]

Anime-Prince has it right. If your idea of a wedding is the Disney Princess white gown, with giant bouquets of lilies and irises, blah blah blah, then yeah getting married is going to cost you a shiny penny. Fortunately some people can recognize this thing called reality, and will go with what they can afford. And if they really love each other and are really broke, then they can always just go to a courthouse or the like. I hear you can get married at a drive through in Vegas~

[Skylar1]

and a home to live in as well as raising children,

You're implying that everyone that gets married is planning on having kids.

If they truly love each other, it shouldn't matter whether they are married or not.

Also, this.



Besides, if all you need is a legal agreement, you can obtain a marriage license just by having both of you going down to the court and applying for one for free*. Think of all the time and money you'll save.

*Can't say for certain, but I believe it's free; OR if not, then very cheap.

[brolyx74]

Why would anyone get married, except for the tax breaks. Marriage is one of the worst things in society. I'd say that only mentally ill people would actually conse=ider going through with such a terrible thing, but thats an insult to the mentally disabled. To wed or not to wed? Not to wed. Not for the costs, but just because it's marriage.

[Anime-Prince]

Why would anyone get married, except for the tax breaks. Marriage is one of the worst things in society. I'd say that only mentally ill people would actually conse=ider going through with such a terrible thing, but thats an insult to the mentally disabled. To wed or not to wed? Not to wed. Not for the costs, but just because it's marriage.

You know, sometimes you say constructive things, and in small doses, you occasionally have points. Other times I believe you just post extreme opinions purely for effect. Most likely for this effect. You're not making any sense or displaying a valid explanation to back up your outlandish opinion.

[Anoleis]

Why would anyone get married, except for the tax breaks.

Because they love each other and would like to be bound to one another for religious or personal reasons.

Marriage is one of the worst things in society. I'd say that only mentally ill people would actually consider going through with such a terrible thing, but thats an insult to the mentally disabled.

You really need to reevaluate what you consider the worst parts of society. Marriage is personal, just because you disagree with it doesn't mean that everyone that does is mentally disabled.

To wed or not to wed? Not to wed. Not for the costs, but just because it's marriage.

Logical fallacy see circular reasoning. -Link-

[brolyx74]

You want me to back up my opinion. Fine. Biologically, humans are not inclined towards monogamy. We are meant to have more than one partner. Love doesn't last forever. Half of marriage ends in divorce anyway, leading to bitter feelings and lawsuits. If 2 people really loved each other, than they wouldn't need a piece of paper to tell them to be together. On the other side, people who only want to get married to get married and get gifts, well, thats clearly no reason to get married and it is clear that relationship won't last anyway. The religious excuse only works if you are really religious. Its not even religiously noticed unless it happens in a church. Also, love doesn't always last forever, so why would you want to tie yourself down to anyone. You give control of your life to someone else, which isn't smart. I'm sorry, but I'm the type of person who likes to have the final say over whether or not I get to do something. The idea of marriage is completely a societal thing. If people had never heard of the concept of marriage or even monogamy, most humans, specifically male, would chose to not be monogamous. My main problem with marriage is the lawsuits though. Its such a legal practice, and without a prenup, if it doesn't work out, then half your stuff goes to your ex. That does not seem like an enjoyable thing. Do I really feel like marriage is completely horrible and should never be practiced, of course not. People can do whatever they want. Why should I care what they do. I personally don't want to tie myself down legally to one person. The legal issues of it do not seem enjoyable. I also don't see a point in a big wedding, or even a wedding at all. Yes, I used hyperbole in my first post. It is not really the worst thing in society. I'm glad you (AnimePrince) have seen that I can have good points, even though I do not always chose to let them through. I feel like extreme contoversy adds more to a debate than agreeing with everyone else. My posts differ from seriousness to disagreebility depending on my mood.

[Skylar1]

I do not condone the angry rhetoric that @YokoKuwabara: is using, but I nonetheless agree with his underlining argument. So, allow me to state the same argument in a more.. appropriate fashion:


The fact of the matter is, regardless of whether or not you think so, humans are Evolutionarily polygamous. There are many mammals in the animal kingdom that are monogamous, but humans aren't one of them. Our need to have a partner only lasts for as long as is needed to have, and raise a child; (typically about 4-5 years) and after that, interest will be sought elsewhere.

The problem you see with divorce rates is exactly for that very reason; and, if noted, it usually occurs most often within the "4-5" year period of the partners being together. Society has set up a system through which monogamous relationships are rewarded (which, I'm assuming probably steamed from very early periods in man's history where staying together longer did have survival benefits). But that doesn't mean that our original design has changed.

What, then, are we to make of this? My personal opinion, is that society it's self needs to change it's ideas on relationships in general to accompany the basic fact that humans are eternally polygamous (just as with so many other basic facts regarding human sexuality). That may sound like an appeal to naturewiki, but it is in fact logically sound on the grounds that we have set up a system that discourages what is natural for us- and therefore, is unhealthy.

[Ramona Flowers]

Yeah I'm a lilttle amazed the money SOME people put into their weddings, some peole get lucky tho and have most of their family pay for it. I would be happy enough to get married in the grass, no shoes on, simple dress, and as far the groom does I wouldn't care.

I had a cheap wedding at the courthouse, it was a mistake from the very beginning. lol

[brolyx74]

I do not condone the angry rhetoric that @YokoKuwabara: is using, but I nonetheless agree with his underlining argument. So, allow me to state the same argument in a more.. appropriate fashion:


The fact of the matter is, regardless of whether or not you think so, humans are Evolutionarily polygamous. There are many mammals in the animal kingdom that are monogamous, but humans aren't one of them. Our need to have a partner only lasts for as long as is needed to have, and raise a child; (typically about 4-5 years) and after that, interest will be sought elsewhere.

The problem you see with divorce rates is exactly for that very reason; and, if noted, it usually occurs most often within the "4-5" year period of the partners being together. Society has set up a system through which monogamous relationships are rewarded (which, I'm assuming probably steamed from very early periods in man's history where staying together longer did have survival benefits). But that doesn't mean that our original design has changed.

What, then, are we to make of this? My personal opinion, is that society it's self needs to change it's ideas on relationships in general to accompany the basic fact that humans are eternally polygamous (just as with so many other basic facts regarding human sexuality). That may sound like an appeal to naturewiki, but it is in fact logically sound on the grounds that we have set up a system that discourages what is natural for us- and therefore, is unhealthy.

Thank you for reiterating my point in a more elagant fashion. Much obliged.

[Anime-Prince]

'Humans are not meant to be monogamous'
I find that statement amusing. Since when I ask you have humans ever been known for doing what they're meant to do? There's been so many advancements around humans doing what they weren't meant to do. Humans can choose. That's the beauty of free thinking.

YokoKuwabara- you ask why two people who love each other need a piece of paper to prove they were together. What makes you think they do? Why can't they just 'want' a declaration. Why can't they just be happy enough to want to declare to the world, and to themselves that they're happy to be together, and they intend to stay that way. If that changes, then it changes, but that doesn't mean the feeling wasn't there. If making a statement through marriage makes them happy, why not let them without viewing it negatively.

You also say marriage is giving control over your life to another person. What a cop out. It's not that at all. You still can make your own decisions when your married, it's just you chose to take the other person into consideration as well.

Ericgamer1- You say humans are not monogamous, and our need to have a partner only lasts typically 4-5 years. Then you say 'after that, interest is sought elsewhere'. Not to be disrespectful, but it sounds like you've just dipped a massive brush into a tub of assumption, and then proceeded to paint the entire human race with it. They're many exceptions to this assumption. People can think for themselves, and a lot of the time, people are happy to stay with one partner.

Since when did the idea behind declaring your love for another human being, become a debate amongst whether we actually want to, or whether or not it's right to?

[Skylar1]

'Humans are not meant to be monogamous'

I never said "meant". That would imply opinion, whereas I am just stating fact.

I find that statement amusing. Since when I ask you have humans ever been known for doing what they're meant to do? There's been so many advancements around humans doing what they weren't meant to do. Humans can choose. That's the beauty of free thinking.

I agree. Free thinking is beautiful. My point was society should not pressure people through encouragement/discouragement of ideological beliefs to act or behave in a certain matter that pertains with persons own biology by using an institution.

As an example: Homosexual marriage is not permitted due in part from the fact that societal attitudes have generally not been accepting towards homosexuality. This means, that marriage is a system that was set up to discourage homosexuality, along with many other things-> thus hindering freedom of choice through stigma.

You say humans are not monogamous, and our need to have a partner only lasts typically 4-5 years. Then you say 'after that, interest is sought elsewhere'. Not to be disrespectful, but it sounds like you've just dipped a massive brush into a tub of assumption, and then proceeded to paint the entire human race with it. They're many exceptions to this assumption. People can think for themselves, and a lot of the time, people are happy to stay with one partner.

It's not an assumption. And because it is a fact stating the human race in general, what is implied is that there is of course exceptions, it does not subtract from the overall truth.

Since when did the idea behind declaring your love for another human being, become a debate amongst whether we actually want to, or whether or not it's right to?

It's specifically about marriage as an institution, not love it's self. You're confusing the two.

[Anime-Prince]

I never said "meant". That would imply opinion, whereas I am just stating fact.

I never said you did. It was YokoKuwabara who made that statement. :P

It's not an assumption. And because it is a fact stating the human race in general, what is implied is that there is of course exceptions, but that does not subtract from the overall truth.

Could it not be argued that the human race's habits evolve along with their thought patterns so fast that this might not be the case any more? And what kind of evidence are you basing this fact on in the first place?

It's specifically about marriage as an institution, not love it's self. You're confusing the two

Marriage is only an institution if you choose to look at it that way. It's all about perception. People should take into account how the two people getting married, view their union, instead of calling it an institution just because other members of society choose to look at it from the stance.

[-Ro-]

I guess it will depend on the person I'm with, since I don't prefer getting married over not. If I do it should be a small and cheap wedding. But marriage isn't for everyone.

[Armageddon]

Well.. My only opinion on Marriage is..
Make sure it`s the person you truly want to spend a-- and don`t take this harshly-- majority of your life with.
You don`t want to fork out a minimum if what.. let`s say. $20,000 for the whole celebration... To only end up in a divorce just a mere 18-24 months later.
From personal experince, it`s not worth the expense including the solicitors fee's and time consumed by attending court hearings over the division of assets.
So, don`t bother. Just elope.

[Mrmojorisin74]

Considering that most marriages today don't even last a year, why bother. Save your money instead of having some huge wedding.

[Wio]

Feminism killed marriage. At this point I would feel guilty condoning that anyone get married under the law; it's a suckers bet. In modern western culture, people in general don't have the attitude required to make it work.

[DOOM!]

I get quite the opposite here. Lots of my acquaintances have decided to get married. Two have been this year, and two more are due to next year. I can make a profit off this, as I'm their invitation designer and party decorator.... no homo.

[Psyco_Panda]

I have been with my man 3 years.
I have known him since forever.
We r getting married next month.
We will last till one of us dies.
Trust me. . . If we can get through wat we have already been through together,,, we can get through anything...i'd rather not say wat has happened

[miniPhil]

I get quite the opposite here. Lots of my acquaintances have decided to get married. Two have been this year, and two more are due to next year. I can make a profit off this, as I'm their invitation designer and party decorator.... no homo.

Basically this. I know for a fact that the number of babies being born has gone up since the downturn and would be willing to bet that marriages have also gone up. It isn't so much a question as why would people get married in the recession but rather why not in the boom. Back when things were fine and dandy people wanted to focus more on their careers instead of settling down. I would argue that people want something nice to hold on to these gloomy days and so have the nice wedding. But thats all speculation, I have no(nor can find) hard evidence to support this theory.

[Izzy Stizzlebonk]

That is part of the reason why I am not married at the moment. One, I am poor. Two, I am too lazy to look for a girl that is wifey material.

...Come to think of it, I'm just too lazy to look for a girl.

[DOOM!]

Basically this. I know for a fact that the number of babies being born has gone up since the downturn and would be willing to bet that marriages have also gone up. It isn't so much a question as why would people get married in the recession but rather why not in the boom. Back when things were fine and dandy people wanted to focus more on their careers instead of settling down. I would argue that people want something nice to hold on to these gloomy days and so have the nice wedding. But thats all speculation, I have no(nor can find) hard evidence to support this theory.

You don't need no controlled media research, it's pretty basic, people are, indeed feeling a little disconcerted by the current footing of things, and quite buzzed by the graet psychological apacaldypse that's supposed to come in two years, so they feel they should settle down, do the family man earlier while they still can, and not die alone, as many of us denizens of the interwebz do.
I admit I've been feeling the same way lately, but I know I know better. Trol's before ho's!