problems.

[brolyx74]

Why is it that when you complain about your problems, there is always that one dude who tells you about homeless people or starving kids in Africa? Sure the miserableness of others makes me happy for a little bit (not really joking) but it's not like other people's problems make your problems go away.

[::SomeOtherCookiez::]

Lol, I have no-idea what your talking about because of the Pirate day thing.

[Aku no Hikari]

Other people's problems do not make yours go away. They make you understand that your problems are not as bad as being worth complaining about. Or at least, that's what people think when they bring up the homeless people and the children in Africa.

Complaining about problems does not make them go away either. The best thing to do is to deal with the problem, or, if you can't, learn how to live with it. Complaining does not get you anywhere. It just wastes your time and nerves, and it annoys people.

Also, it depends on how often you complain, and what kind of things you complain about.

---------- Post added at 02:04 AM ---------- Previous post was at 02:03 AM ----------

@^ quote text to see it in plain English.

[3pleT]

Help me understand something here:
Are you complaining about those people who claim that you shouldn't complain about anything because there are people who are worse off than you? Is that what this thread is about? Because that would actually make sense and I agree that it's pretty annoying and stupid (if someone disagrees, I will go ahead and explain why they're wrong).

Now, the way I understood you is that someone is trying to make you feel better by pointing out that there are people who have it tougher than you and gives you the homeless and the Africans as example. Now, that would make no sense at all, and I need some clarification as to what kind of answer you're looking for.

Also, this pirate filter could have messed your post up a bit.

[Meenah]

Everyone has problems going on with them in their life. In spite of that, people should learn to appreciate good things they have. Big or small. Its a shame that people will complain about problems and end up forgetting something that they already have that is good. The one thing really irritates me is when those kind of people have problem, they become a*sholes and put their anger on others. Its not cool at all, and it just makes that idiot look like a complete fool.

Sorry to say it, but its not our fault that you have problems now. Just being a good person and do good things is alright. Leave problems out of everything and just cope up with it. (: Get people you love to support you and stay strong, thats what we all need.

[Miss Moonlight]

Usually, these "you don't have it that bad, someone else always has it worse" people aren't really trying to "make you feel better", but are rather trying to guilt you out of your own feelings.

That's not always the case, though.

[brolyx74]

Help me understand something here:
Are you complaining about those people who claim that you shouldn't complain about anything because there are people who are worse off than you? Is that what this thread is about? Because that would actually make sense and I agree that it's pretty annoying and stupid (if someone disagrees, I will go ahead and explain why they're wrong).

Now, the way I understood you is that someone is trying to make you feel better by pointing out that there are people who have it tougher than you and gives you the homeless and the Africans as example. Now, that would make no sense at all, and I need some clarification as to what kind of answer you're looking for.

Also, this pirate filter could have messed your post up a bit.

Yes, I was talking about people who think you shouldn't complain at all. To people who say not to complain, it's unhealthy to keep everything in. People need to vent and talk about things.

[Meenah]

Yes, I was talking about people who think you shouldn't complain at all. To people who say not to complain, it's unhealthy to keep everything in. People need to vent and talk about things.

Thats true, but no one should complain like no tomorrow to make others get annoyed with it and not care.

[Aulos]

Ah here we go again.

The meaning of the phrase is not meant to make you feel sorry for the kids, it's meaning that you have nothing to complain about and you should shut up and appreciate what you have.

Now I'm not saying you're like that, I don't know, but the saying should really be reserved for those whiny emo brats that say their life sucks for the most pointless of reasons. I used to be like that, and I know that even with some reasons to complain, you should never whine about it. The fact is the vast majority of people will real problems don't even whine about them. That's been my experience anyway.

Those people know that whining is not going to solve anything. It will just bring attention to yourself, and not positive attention. People do not like whiners. Again personal experience.

Whining won't get you anywhere, and it's a waste of your time and life. We don't have any time to whine, you never know when something worse will come your way. We should always live our lives with a positive attitude and instead of spending that time whining, get better at what we are whining about!

The saying is not very effective, I'll give you that. A better way of saying it is: "Appreciate what you've got, life is too short and too uncertain."

[3pleT]

You have people who nag about it all the time. Like my cousin, for instance, who would gladly make complaining illegal for anyone with more than 100 bucks on their bank account. Seriously, I complain about how crappy the hotel room is, how it smells like urine and how the only view we have from the window is a brick wall and an alley if you look down, and he shows me a homeless guy sleeping below and asks me "How do you think he feels about his hotel room"? and I would gladly point out my strong desire to kill him (my cousin, not the homeless guy; seriously, this filter sucks), but it would only lead to more nagging about murder being immoral, so I just keep my mouth shut until he stops.

[Wio]

Yes, I was talking about people who think you shouldn't complain at all. To people who say not to complain, it's unhealthy to keep everything in. People need to vent and talk about things.

I don't really believe this. I think complaining can be fun, and having fun is healthy, but not complaining is not necessarily unhealthy.

The point of the phrase is to make you be more optimistic about your situation. I think our attitudes affect out sense of content enough to overcome many of our circumstances.

If someone says this phrase to you, it's basically a signal of "I don't want to hear your griping" or they honestly believe you have the wrong attitude. So you're best just finding someone else who is willing to hear it.

[brolyx74]

All I'm saying is. Your friends are supposed to be there for you and listen to your problems. My friend is having relationship problems with her boyfriend of 2 years. I'm not gonna say, you don't have it so bad, at least you have a place to sleep, unlike those homeless peopel. It's not gonna make her problem disappear or make her feel any better. We complain about what problems are real to us, and other peoples problems don't make ours go away. I'm not saying always complain, but let people complain every once in a while. The bulk of her life is this relationship and if its going sour, then I think she has the right to talk to someone about it.

[Skylar1]

There are two types of "complaining" imo. The first is the one people use as a "cry for help" when they are actually in a pretty tough in their life, and really have no other way of dealing with it.

Then there is the complaining that is basically another way of making an excuse as to why your life sucks. Think about it, what's easier for a person to do: make changes in their life, or whine about it?

Your life sucks? Then, unless you're in the most difficult position, only you can change that. The individual has the resources necessary to change whatever they don't like.

You either stop complaining and start fixing the things you have a problem with, or, you get what you get and you don't throw a fit.

[Saxima]

If you seem to have such a problem with it, then don't complain and suck it up. Just saying.

[polaris 北極星]

people spend so much time complaining about what they dont have, they dont even see what they do have. if one were to redirect their energy from complaining about a problem to solving the problem, then there wouldnt be a problem anymore. and quite often, people have no intentions of trying to solve their problem in the first place. some people would rather foster the problem, and complain about it to solicit sympathy from their peers. ive even seen people puposely sabatoge themselves, simply to obtain sympathy from others. it sounds crazy, but people often romanticize tragedy... its easier to play the victim, than to take responsibility for their actions and their life. ultimately, we are rarely victims of circumstance...we are usually the architects of our own demise.

...complaining is just a rationalization technique for those with a weak resolve

[Sanosuke23]

people spend so much time complaining about what they dont have, they dont even see what they do have. if one were to redirect their energy from complaining about a problem to solving the problem, then there wouldnt be a problem anymore. and quite often, people have no intentions of trying to solve their problem in the first place. some people would rather foster the problem, and complain about it to solicit sympathy from their peers. ive even seen people puposely sabatoge themselves, simply to obtain sympathy from others. it sounds crazy, but people often romanticize tragedy... its easier to play the victim, than to take responsibility for their actions and their life. ultimately, we are rarely victims of circumstance...we are usually the architects of our own demise.

...complaining is just a rationalization technique for those with a weak resolve

If that were the case, then why wouldn't these people point out the GOOD things going on in your life to make you feel better? No, the default response of starving babies in Africa is designed to guilt you into feeling like you're a piece of crap for not being a starving African baby. This does nothing but give the person telling you that a little bit of a rush as they ascend upon their moral high horse. It doesn't change the fact that you have a problem, and sometimes no, these are not issues you can resolve yourself. Sometimes they are situations beyond your direct control, and they're stressing you out. You have a right to be upset about what's going on in your own life more than you are over what's going on in other people's. If someone ASKS you "Why are you upset/sad/etc.?" and you tell them and they bust out the starving babies on parade, you have my full permission to punch them in the mouth as hard as you can. When they complain, tell them that starving babies don't even have any teeth to knock out.

@3pleT: I would have then asked your brother how much the homeless guy paid for his hotel room.

[polaris 北極星]

If that were the case, then why wouldn't these people point out the GOOD things going on in your life to make you feel better? No, the default response of starving babies in Africa is designed to guilt you into feeling like you're a piece of crap for not being a starving African baby. This does nothing but give the person telling you that a little bit of a rush as they ascend upon their moral high horse. It doesn't change the fact that you have a problem, and sometimes no, these are not issues you can resolve yourself. Sometimes they are situations beyond your direct control, and they're stressing you out. You have a right to be upset about what's going on in your own life more than you are over what's going on in other people's. If someone ASKS you "Why are you upset/sad/etc.?" and you tell them and they bust out the starving babies on parade, you have my full permission to punch them in the mouth as hard as you can. When they complain, tell them that starving babies don't even have any teeth to knock out.

@3pleT: I would have then asked your brother how much the homeless guy paid for his hotel room.

the "starving babies in africa" line is not designed to make someone feel like crap, it is a hyperbole intended to put things into perspective for the problem bearer. i think that line's intended definition is "things could always be worse" any other definition is an attempt to twist it's intended purpose into a negative context. i agree that sometimes problems are out of the individual's control, but life isnt a bed of roses. to act surprised when you run into problems is the same as acting surprised when you burn your hand from touching a hot stove. and what does complaining about a problem solve?...NOTHING! all it does is burden other people with your stress. if you have a problem, tuck in your bottom lip, strap on some balls and do something about it.

...or you can just try it your way and complain about it and/or punch people in the mouth as hard as you can...thatll solve everything

[brolyx74]

I agree with Sanosuke. I mean, let's say you get summoned for jury duty and can't get out of it. You should be able to say, This sucks. I have jury duty. It seems like you think I'm talking about people who do nothing but complain, but what I'm talking about are the people who complain every once in a while and someone gets on their high moral horse to make you feel bad about complaining. Or when somones parents got permanently disabled. The kid can't do anything about it, so I think he has a right to vent to somebody without feeling bad about venting.

[Sanosuke23]

the "starving babies in africa" line is not designed to make someone feel like crap, it is a hyperbole intended to put things into perspective for the problem bearer. i think that line's intended definition is "things could always be worse" any other definition is an attempt to twist it's intended purpose into a negative context. i agree that sometimes problems are out of the individual's control, but life isnt a bed of roses. to act surprised when you run into problems is the same as acting surprised when you burn your hand from touching a hot stove. and what does complaining about a problem solve?...NOTHING! all it does is burden other people with your stress. if you have a problem, tuck in your bottom lip, strap on some balls and do something about it.

...or you can just try it your way and complain about it and/or punch people in the mouth as hard as you can...thatll solve everything

So you're supposed to just smile and skip your way through life no matter what stress-inducing factors you come across, and never feel the need to get something off your chest? Venting is an important part of stress management, and quite frankly if you supposedly cared about someone you'd be concerned about WHY they're upset. Telling them that their life isn't as bad as someone else's trivializes their problems. You are going out of your way to tell them that their problems are unimportant. If you REALLY wanted to make them feel better I'll ask again, what's wrong with trying to focus on the positive things in their life instead? Hell, how about just a pat on the shoulder or something?

As for the punching part, quite frankly if someone asks you what's wrong and you respond, and then they act like all you're doing is complaining when they asked you to tell them in the first place, you're justified in hitting them. Clearly they wished to help you with your foul mood, and hitting something is often a good way to relieve tension. Since they clearly fail at being supportive in other ways, I don't see what the problem is.

[Anime-Prince]

It's the age old saying
'I'll give you something to complain about' It's about how you make something sound.

For me, it depends on how the person is complaining. If the person says

"I have to work an extra shift and it sucks, I'm going to miss this football match"
Fair enough.
I'd respond with..."I'll record it for you.."

If however the person is saying
"I have to work, and I'm going to miss this football match, god why does worst things happen to me?! This is the worst thing ever! WHY DOES EVERYTHING FALL APART!?"

My response probably would be-
"Get over yourself, people have it a lot worse than you".

[Furore]

This reminds of something (note I'm paraphrasing as this isn't fresh in my memory):

[dialogue removed because of foul language - Eris]
[dialogue readded sans asterisks I used instead of swearing which evidentally still wasn't prudish enough. I can assure you the Australian language is much more colorful and a treat to the ears, but to satisfy the good moderating team here, I present a parody of the original dialogue in a really poor, typed on phone British version. Tally ho! - Furore]

Guard 1: I must say, I'm rather weak with lack of nourishment old chap, can anyone spare some tea and biscuits? Scones and crumpets? Anything?
Guard 2: Well I never! Your shift ends in a few hours and some poor vagrants lack even tea. Tea I tell you! Truly their hunger is never sated...
Guard 1: Well then old chap, get me one of these vagrants and I'll consume him then. Otherwise stay your tongue lest you implore me to act ungentlemanly!
Guard 3 (aka me): He is right old chum, there's no need to be an idealistic simpleton. I can share with you some tea and scones and dare I say, even some spotted dick for dessert!
Guard 1: Rather!

My point is that sometimes saying stuff like that can come off as really annoying and definitely unproductive.
Yeah, people should be grateful for what they have, but what's the big deal? Everyone's better off than someone (unless they're that single poor bastard at the very bottom).

[Ellxeeva]

Why is it that when you complain about your problems, there is always that one dude who tells you about homeless people or starving kids in Africa? Sure the miserableness of others makes me happy for a little bit (not really joking) but it's not like other people's problems make your problems go away.

I guess people say that for them to think that they are luckier compared to other people, that way they'll make them shut up. XD

Hearing people complaining can be quite annoying, especially if they’re not doing something about it.
I say, "Stop complaining and do something!"

If not, then they shouldn’t waste their time whining about things they can't or refuse to control.

[3pleT]

the "starving babies in africa" line is not designed to make someone feel like crap, it is a hyperbole intended to put things into perspective for the problem bearer. i think that line's intended definition is "things could always be worse" any other definition is an attempt to twist it's intended purpose into a negative context.

Hey, guys! I just got run over by a car and damaged my spine. I don't think I'll ever walk again. But hey! At least I'm not one of those starving children in Africa, so I should be pretty happy about that, right?

i agree that sometimes problems are out of the individual's control, but life isnt a bed of roses. to act surprised when you run into problems is the same as acting surprised when you burn your hand from touching a hot stove. and what does complaining about a problem solve?...NOTHING! all it does is burden other people with your stress. if you have a problem, tuck in your bottom lip, strap on some balls and do something about it.

...or you can just try it your way and complain about it and/or punch people in the mouth as hard as you can...thatll solve everything

Hey, guys! The Nazi party just got elected in my country. I didn't vote for them, but that's OK, I'll just tuck in my bottom lip, strap on some balls and do something about it. Never mind that army bombing this angry mob outside. And everyone who ever spoke against them. And the Jews. Oh, and probably the starving children in Africa as well.

Facts:
1. People who talk about their problems feel a lot better. People who hear them usually feel less than 5% of their pain.
2. Talking about someone's problems is the interesting part of about 90% of all serious conversations that ever took place.
3. Explaining your problem to someone may get them to help you, or give you the confidence necessary to overcome it.

[Ellxeeva]

I'm confused, is 'complaining' the same thing as 'talking about your problems'?

[brolyx74]

yes it is. To some people. I look at it as all the same with varying levels of complaining. It has to do with the seriousness of the problem and how worked up the person is getting.