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Thread: Being Shallow

  1. #51
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    Default Re: Being Shallow

    Quote Originally Posted by Capernicus View Post
    Hey OP, all this talk about people who are unattractive hating shallow people makes me think thou doth protest too much. I think you're ugly, and you probably smell funny.
    Capernicus, your this prince's hero.
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  2. #52
    Senior Member Miss Electric Moonlight has a reputation beyond repute Miss Electric Moonlight has a reputation beyond repute Miss Electric Moonlight has a reputation beyond repute Miss Electric Moonlight has a reputation beyond repute Miss Electric Moonlight has a reputation beyond repute Miss Electric Moonlight has a reputation beyond repute Miss Electric Moonlight has a reputation beyond repute Miss Electric Moonlight has a reputation beyond repute Miss Electric Moonlight has a reputation beyond repute Miss Electric Moonlight has a reputation beyond repute Miss Electric Moonlight has a reputation beyond repute Miss Electric Moonlight's Avatar
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    Default Re: Being Shallow

    Quote Originally Posted by Cobra Commander View Post
    What matters and what the benefits are, are different depending on the people. According to Miss M's post, I can infer that she is looking for a deeper connection to someone, and it's okay if they're not perfect so long as she likes them. Some of us just aren't the same way. Physical attraction is very important to me, and I'm at least willing to admit that about myself, whereas a lot of people aren't.

    There are many personality traits, some of which I undoubtedly possess, that are a major turn off. It's not worth it to name them all off, I'm sure they're pretty common.
    lol

    Physical attraction -is- important to me. After all, when it gets down to it, you want to desire them, correct? it would be a lie to say otherwise.

    It's just not more important than themselves. After all, if you're going to spend time with this person and invest emotionally in them, they can't suck as a person.

    Then again, if all you are looking for is arm candy and/or a booty call/a status symbol, then yea, none of that matters. It's different for every person, but as for me, I want both, or the "full package", as it's considered.
    Last edited by Miss Electric Moonlight; 09-10-2010 at 04:28 PM.

  3. #53
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    Default Re: Being Shallow

    Yea. I never understood the quote looks don't matter. Maybe they do, maybe they don't. Fact is I wouldn't want to date some smelly 600 pound female. Does that make me shallow? Oh well. Either way its how most people on AF are. If someone thinks looks don't matter then your lying to yourself.

    This prince knows want he wants! It doesn't matter if the person is hot or not, it just matters if she has decent phsyical attraction.
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  4. #54
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    Default Re: Being Shallow

    Quote Originally Posted by RaShayRitto View Post
    Thats not what I suggested at all. You asked who else is supposed to benefit from the relationship but yourself. It makes sense that if you're in a relationship with another person that you care about them enough not to be an unhealthy element in their life. You want to give AND receive, not just suck them dry for all your needs (i realize how naughty this sounded, but for once in my life i don't intend the dual meaning).

    I mean if you arent looking for a relationship where you enhance someone's life as well as your own....then you might as well just buy a hooker or be a user

    The way i see it , just being in a relationship means that you give the other party something they need (since they chose to get together with you). Whether it's sex , companionship , money or whatever.
    Caring or not doesn't change that. A normal human being wouldn't get into a relationship unless they benefit from it in some way . So on topic - do i think people should be labeled as shallow because they only consider their own needs?Nay. I don't think it's such a big deal nor do i I see anyone getting into relationships without gaining something.

    Yeah they should contribute to their better half's happiness more than they do. They should care and make the other person as happy as they can but this ain't happening. Maybe you care a lot and try to make your girl friends as happy as possible but there's a million more different types of people who have different values and understanding of what's right and wrong.
    Last edited by GrimStride™; 09-11-2010 at 04:58 AM. Reason: spelling mistakes.It's along post :D

  5. #55
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    Default Re: Being Shallow

    Preferring good looking partners doesn't make you shallow (or a bad person or anything). It just makes you human.

    If I don't find you attractive, I could be your friend, but no matter how much I enjoy your company, I'll never want to be anything more than that.
    And trust me, there isn't a single person here who doesn't feel that way, it's just that some of them are hiding it for some reason.


  6. #56
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    Default Re: Being Shallow

    Question:

    How is breaking up with someone because of how they look any different from breaking up with someone because they have a bad sense of humor or bad personality?

  7. #57
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    Default Re: Being Shallow

    Quote Originally Posted by YokoKuwabara View Post
    Question:

    How is breaking up with someone because of how they look any different from breaking up with someone because they have a bad sense of humor or bad personality?
    Simple:

    Breaking up with someone because of how they look: you just don't like to look at them, or want someone who looks the way you want them to.
    Breaking up with someone because their personality sucks: you simply can't stand to be around them, or find them annoying.

  8. #58
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    Default Re: Being Shallow

    OK, but why would you stay in a relationship with someone you can't stand to look at. That's like saying you could just not listen to the person who's not funny.

  9. #59
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    Default Re: Being Shallow

    It's not all about looks. It's about the persons actual personality. Which is the only thing that really matters in the long run.
    >__>
    " Embrace your dreams. If you want to be a hero, you need to have dreams. . . "


  10. #60
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    Default Re: Being Shallow

    I'm sorry, but nobody would want to be in a relationship if you can't stand to look at the person. It's of equal importance as personality.

  11. #61
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    Default Re: Being Shallow

    Quote Originally Posted by YokoKuwabara View Post
    I'm sorry, but nobody would want to be in a relationship if you can't stand to look at the person. It's of equal importance as personality.
    True, but there are degrees of tolerable and intolerable unattractiveness.

  12. #62
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    Default Re: Being Shallow

    Quote Originally Posted by Miss Moonlight View Post
    True, but there are degrees of tolerable and intolerable unattractiveness.
    As there is for personality and sense of humor.

  13. #63
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    Default Re: Being Shallow

    Well, I have never met a person that was unbearable to look at. . So. . xD
    " Embrace your dreams. If you want to be a hero, you need to have dreams. . . "


  14. #64
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    Default Re: Being Shallow

    Quote Originally Posted by YokoKuwabara View Post
    I'm sorry, but nobody would want to be in a relationship if you can't stand to look at the person. It's of equal importance as personality.
    Why start a relationship with someone you can't stand to look at in the first place?


  15. #65
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    Default Re: Being Shallow

    Quote Originally Posted by 3pleT View Post
    Why start a relationship with someone you can't stand to look at in the first place?
    Usually they don't, but when looks decline, I guess that's why someone would jump ship.

  16. #66
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    Default Re: Being Shallow

    Quote Originally Posted by Miss Moonlight View Post
    Usually they don't, but when looks decline, I guess that's why someone would jump ship.
    Falling in love turns a 6 (passable) into at least an 8 (great looking). Aging can subtract two points, tops, so your significant other will still be a 6 to you.
    Now, if they choose to get fat or stop bathing or something to subtract more points, it's their own fault.

    The only debatable thing whether or not you'll leave them if they get disfigured somehow, in which case I would probably stay with a girl to help her through the tough times and then comes the big "let's be friends".
    Am I shallow or a bastard or anything for that? No, I'm just human and I can't get turned on by a damn scarecrow, no matter how great person it is.


  17. #67
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    Default Re: Being Shallow

    Quote Originally Posted by 3pleT View Post
    Falling in love turns a 6 (passable) into at least an 8 (great looking). Aging can subtract two points, tops, so your significant other will still be a 6 to you.
    Now, if they choose to get fat or stop bathing or something to subtract more points, it's their own fault.

    The only debatable thing whether or not you'll leave them if they get disfigured somehow, in which case I would probably stay with a girl to help her through the tough times and then comes the big "let's be friends".
    Am I shallow or a bastard or anything for that? No, I'm just human and I can't get turned on by a damn scarecrow, no matter how great person it is.
    Well, realistically, that's not always how life works.

    A lot of people choose to let themselves go out of laziness, while others fall into life's circumstances.

    A good example is when someone gets a serious illness and their looks suffer, cause you know, um, their life is more important. Even at these times, leaving your partner because they have cancer (or are bedridden due to something else), have lost all of their hair, possibly lost too much weight and look gaunt-ish (or taking medications and in addition, not moving and piling on the pounds) and therefore, no longer look like the sparkling beauty they once were, makes you a craptastic person.

    Then again, staying in that situation out of guilt (and not care) isn't good either, so. Also, I dislike the number rating system for people.

    Sorry to be so through, but yea. Sometimes shallowness is part of immaturity.

  18. #68
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    Default Re: Being Shallow

    Quote Originally Posted by YokoKuwabara View Post
    A lot of people talk about how they hate shallow people, but to me, there is nothing wrong with being shallow. If good looks is high on your list of things needed in a partner, then so be it. Looks are a big part of someone. Why is wanting a good looking partner so bad? Also, I notice that the majority of people who think being shallow is a bad thing are the ugly/fat/etc... people. What do you guys think about shallow-ness?
    You don't have to prove anything to these ugly masses that hit on you. They think it's wrong that you use looks as a criterion and you think it's fine.

    Personally, I think the lack of physical attraction is usually one of the easiest things to overcome in a relationship. Generally it's issues of character than really ruin relationships. So if, when looking for a mate, you are willing to overlook appearances you'll increase your chances of finding a lasting relationship.

    If you're not even looking for a lasting relationship, then you're right not to care. However it's considered shallow. I don't think this will change soon.

  19. #69
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    Default Re: Being Shallow

    I think if you're extremely superficial you should go to hell. Like if a guy has a slight scar under his chin or if a girl has weird dimples. Now if you're flat out ugly and fat, you can't expect people to look through all of that to talk to you. I don't care how nice you are, if you smell bad and such, most people won't date you.

  20. #70
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    Default Re: Being Shallow

    Quote Originally Posted by Diocletian View Post
    I think if you're extremely superficial you should go to hell. Like if a guy has a slight scar under his chin or if a girl has weird dimples. Now if you're flat out ugly and fat, you can't expect people to look through all of that to talk to you. I don't care how nice you are, if you smell bad and such, most people won't date you.
    I'm always amused how people lump these things together. I mean, this is a topic about shallowness and some stereotyping is to be seen, but lol.

    If I have to "diminish" my own ego and vanity just to talk to someone with excess bodyfat, i'll do it. If they smell horrible, obviously not. Bad scents are harder to deal with than simply a bad visual image. Maybe get a photoshop filter for your eyes?

    Also, i'm sure most perceptive people realize, but

    people who are fat = don't always smell
    people who are fat = aren't always ugly (although that is a matter of simple perception)
    people who are within your visual tolerance range aren't always necessarily the nicest (or even meanest) people
    someone can be very put together physically and look great, but can also live in a craphole and have poor hygiene

    talking to people who only make your eyes sparkle leaves too wide of a gap in which you might have met some otherwise pretty awesome people. (I say "might" because awesome people are pretty rare.)

    I mean, it's all very relative. Looks are important for as long as they are sustainable. In my personal opinion, I find it a bit creepy when women in their 60's get cosmetic surgery to at least (try) to look like they are in their 30's. And women who lie about their age, what is that?

    I guess it's their choice to look and feel as they please, but when i'm "old", i'm not going to pretend i'm younger.

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    Default Re: Being Shallow

    Quote Originally Posted by Miss Moonlight View Post
    A lot of people choose to let themselves go out of laziness, while others fall into life's circumstances.
    What uncontrollable circumstance could possibly make you fat?

    Quote Originally Posted by Miss Moonlight View Post
    A good example is when someone gets a serious illness and their looks suffer, cause you know, um, their life is more important. Even at these times, leaving your partner because they have cancer (or are bedridden due to something else), have lost all of their hair, possibly lost too much weight and look gaunt-ish (or taking medications and in addition, not moving and piling on the pounds) and therefore, no longer look like the sparkling beauty they once were, makes you a craptastic person.
    That doesn't impact looks so much as far as I'm concerned. And if she's having a terminal disease, I will stay by her side until the end and do whatever I can do to help her. If I didn't, it would make me a massive jerk.
    I was just saying, if she was somehow disfigured so much that I no longer find her attractive, what do you expect me to do? Stay with her just so she can be happy, even though I'm not? I will be there as a friend if she wants me to, but if there's one thing I learned from my family's misfortunes, it's to never sacrifice my own happiness out of some idiotic sense of guilt or obligation. Look at it this way: she was a victim of circumstances. Why should I suffer indefinitely just so I can minimize her pain just a little bit more than I would as a friend? It's like I gave my entire damn house to some relatives who lost everything in a flood and became homeless instead of them.

    Quote Originally Posted by Miss Moonlight View Post
    Also, I dislike the number rating system for people.
    Just so you know, it's only for looks. Or rather, your perception of it. Everyone has a rating system. Some simply have a yes/no, some have good/average/bad... I chose the universally accepted 1-10.


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    Default Re: Being Shallow

    Quote Originally Posted by 3pleT View Post
    What uncontrollable circumstance could possibly make you fat?
    Not many. I explained one possible circumstance. Usually, your bodyweight is up to you. When it isn't, it just isn't.

    I'd never want someone to stay with me out of guilt. But, if they are a shell of their former selves and you find yourself lusting over the new hooter's barmaid/male stripper/both, you should at least come up with a believable and realistic excuse.

    And, in my opinion, you should sacrifice your happiness as much as possible to balance it out with someone you potentially care for "oh, I can't go to school because dad's hospital bills are too expensive" ... etc. etc. But that's just me.

    Happiness can always come back.

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    Default Re: Being Shallow

    Quote Originally Posted by Miss Moonlight View Post
    Not many. I explained one possible circumstance. Usually, your bodyweight is up to you. When it isn't, it just isn't.
    It can make you chubby, not fat. And chubby I can handle. Besides, if she's having a rough period, I'll be there for her, not the damn antidepressants.

    Quote Originally Posted by Miss Moonlight View Post
    And, in my opinion, you should sacrifice your happiness as much as possible to balance it out with someone you potentially care for "oh, I can't go to school because dad's hospital bills are too expensive" ... etc. etc. But that's just me.
    I will... by being with her as much as I can, by giving her as much as I can, but AS A FRIEND. I guess it's kinda like "you can stay in our house" in that flood metaphor. Or I could pay for her reconstructive surgery and stay with her, because if she gets offended by that proposition, she's an idiot anyway.


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    Cool Re: Being Shallow

    Quote Originally Posted by YokoKuwabara View Post
    I'm sorry, but nobody would want to be in a relationship if you can't stand to look at the person. It's of equal importance as personality.
    You're getting a bit silly here. If you can't even stand to look at certain people because they are so ugly, you're a bit weak. There are much more difficult things to overcome in a relationship and ugly things.

    It's one thing to say you don't want to start dating someone because they're ugly. It's another thing to say that someone's looks are something which cannot be overcome. Looks are very easy to overcome when you become accustomed to them. If you haven't figured this out yet then I've got nothing.

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    Default Re: Being Shallow

    Quote Originally Posted by 3pleT View Post
    It can make you chubby, not fat. And chubby I can handle. Besides, if she's having a rough period, I'll be there for her, not the damn antidepressants.

    I will... by being with her as much as I can, by giving her as much as I can, but AS A FRIEND. I guess it's kinda like "you can stay in our house" in that flood metaphor. Or I could pay for her reconstructive surgery and stay with her, because if she gets offended by that proposition, she's an idiot anyway.
    No, as the link describes, many medications can cause significant weight gain for many people. Of course, this depends on a number of variables and other issues in addition to the medication/person so it varies, but the fact stands that there is more than one way to gain weight unnecessarily.

    And really, if you had a wife and she was scarred from an accident, she would instantly become your "friend"? getting a divorce over such an issue seems outright ridiculous.

    And I guess you can be supportive and stay with her because you desire to, which I imagine would be a lot cheaper than paying for surgery. Then again, if she wants the surgery (considering it would be her body), that's an altogether different issue.

    But, telling her "you need this surgery because I can't stand to look at you" probably wouldn't work well in your favor.
    Last edited by Miss Electric Moonlight; 09-20-2010 at 12:38 AM.

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