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Thread: This Isn't Goodbye

  1. #1
    Captain No Pants Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki.'s Avatar
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    Default This Isn't Goodbye

    Well, well, well . . . it's been quite a while, hasn't it?
    Unfortunately, I haven't written anything over the past few months but I did write this poem about 10 minutes ago. Hopefully I haven't lost my touch. x3 And even if brung is not a word, I still like it! D:<
    Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoy. ^^
    ************************************************** ************

    This Isn't Goodbye

    Rain drops on my fingertips as I wipe tears away.
    Don't tell me to find another- for you, I'm here to stay.
    No matter how long the wait may be,
    these feeling for you shall not flee.

    When I say I love you, my words are pure and true.
    That's why I don't want you to think that we are through.

    When my words are failing,
    when my body's falling,
    when no one's around to hear my cry-
    that's when you're there- right by my side.

    Tomorrow broadcasts sunshine,
    to dry our soaking clothes.
    Hear their whispers in the night,
    "everything will be alright."

    Have hope in tomorrow's sun,
    look what fate has already brung.
    Our worlds have already collided,
    and for that I've already decided.

    Despite what you say, I'm not giving up.
    I won't let this be our break up.
    For you, I'll wait 100 years,
    your time away won't bring me tears.

    Just tell me one last time,
    then I'll know you'll always be mine.

    Tell me that you love me.

    "This isn't goodbye, it's 'see you later'"
    Last edited by Tsuki.; 08-03-2010 at 11:27 PM.


  2. #2
    Nanobyte's minion SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD's Avatar
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    Default Re: This Isn't Goodbye

    Brung is not a word, but there is this very spectacular word "brought". Its not shiny or fancy, but you might consider using it next time.

    I liked your rhyming, and I liked the way it flowed. I would say to take out the "to" in the line "your time away won't bring me to tears". I think it makes it sound smoother if it was just "your time away won't bring me tears".

    I think adding that last line gave it a perfect final touch.
    If Minecraft had a Japanese intro.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature...&v=H5qFZjuKet4

    |Set made by Neukifly|

    Super Saiyan Dango


  3. #3
    Captain No Pants Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki.'s Avatar
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    Default Re: This Isn't Goodbye

    Yeah, but brought is so overrated. xD

    You're right! It does! O=

    Gaaah, I've missed you, bro. <3


  4. #4
    Senior Member Anime-Prince has a reputation beyond repute Anime-Prince has a reputation beyond repute Anime-Prince has a reputation beyond repute Anime-Prince has a reputation beyond repute Anime-Prince has a reputation beyond repute Anime-Prince has a reputation beyond repute Anime-Prince has a reputation beyond repute Anime-Prince has a reputation beyond repute Anime-Prince has a reputation beyond repute Anime-Prince has a reputation beyond repute Anime-Prince has a reputation beyond repute Anime-Prince's Avatar
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    Default Re: This Isn't Goodbye

    Quote Originally Posted by *Tsuki* View Post

    Tomorrow broadcasts sunshine,
    to dry our soaking clothes.
    Hear their whispers in the night,
    "everything will be alright."
    This section was fantastic. You haven't lost your touch.
    Fascinated by the rain, influenced by the wind. Adventure for fun.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Blanc has a reputation beyond repute Blanc has a reputation beyond repute Blanc has a reputation beyond repute Blanc has a reputation beyond repute Blanc has a reputation beyond repute Blanc has a reputation beyond repute Blanc has a reputation beyond repute Blanc has a reputation beyond repute Blanc has a reputation beyond repute Blanc has a reputation beyond repute Blanc has a reputation beyond repute Blanc's Avatar
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    Default Re: This Isn't Goodbye

    Finally the poetry section is becoming lively again! Oh before I comment, I would like to take this time and tell all the users that I was forced at gun point on the "ban the user above you thread to comment on this poem"..

    Lol, I liked it! Nice flow and trust me, you haven't lost your touch.

  6. #6
    Captain No Pants Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki.'s Avatar
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    Default Re: This Isn't Goodbye

    Hey, hey, hey, it wasn't by gun point. <_<
    It was a nudge in the right direction.
    And, IKR? Siiigma! <3

    Onto the poem . . .
    yay!


  7. #7
    Senior Member Blanc has a reputation beyond repute Blanc has a reputation beyond repute Blanc has a reputation beyond repute Blanc has a reputation beyond repute Blanc has a reputation beyond repute Blanc has a reputation beyond repute Blanc has a reputation beyond repute Blanc has a reputation beyond repute Blanc has a reputation beyond repute Blanc has a reputation beyond repute Blanc has a reputation beyond repute Blanc's Avatar
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    Default Re: This Isn't Goodbye

    Quote Originally Posted by *Tsuki* View Post
    Hey, hey, hey, it wasn't by gun point. <_<
    It was a nudge in the right direction.
    And, IKR? Siiigma! <3

    Onto the poem . . .
    yay!
    Did you just call me Sigma! Lmfao.

  8. #8
    Captain No Pants Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki.'s Avatar
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    Default Re: This Isn't Goodbye

    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Punk View Post
    Did you just call me Sigma! Lmfao.
    no, I'm saying Sigma because he's finally back.


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