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Thread: You and I

  1. #1
    Member Kisarose has a reputation beyond repute Kisarose has a reputation beyond repute Kisarose has a reputation beyond repute Kisarose has a reputation beyond repute Kisarose has a reputation beyond repute Kisarose has a reputation beyond repute Kisarose has a reputation beyond repute Kisarose has a reputation beyond repute Kisarose has a reputation beyond repute Kisarose has a reputation beyond repute Kisarose has a reputation beyond repute Kisarose's Avatar
    Gil
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    Default You and I

    Smiles seeped from your ear to mine.
    Our simple, sweet lullaby.
    I gazed upon aquamarine oceans
    Brightly reflecting radiance.

    A perfect vision of beauty.
    Tightly ten met ten,
    Warmth like summer.
    But summer has its end.

    Planets continue to orbit the sun.
    The seasons change too
    Eventually resulting in winter.

    Crimson eyes now staring into memories
    Burgundy blood now wrapped around your neck,
    It was forecasted from the day I met you.

    You said forever and everlasting.
    The same promise the summer rose made to the bee.
    Rose,
    Was I not enough?

    Reverberating over and over
    Is your non-existent heart.
    Wrapped and covered with my scarlet hatred.

    Now the icicle of winter has withered you away
    Never will be everlasting.
    I ended that forever.
    ----------------------------
    So comments, criticism? I'm ready. >.<

  2. #2
    Senior Member Anime-Prince has a reputation beyond repute Anime-Prince has a reputation beyond repute Anime-Prince has a reputation beyond repute Anime-Prince has a reputation beyond repute Anime-Prince has a reputation beyond repute Anime-Prince has a reputation beyond repute Anime-Prince has a reputation beyond repute Anime-Prince has a reputation beyond repute Anime-Prince has a reputation beyond repute Anime-Prince has a reputation beyond repute Anime-Prince has a reputation beyond repute Anime-Prince's Avatar
    Gil
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    Default

    That was.. fantastic. Your use of words created such vivid imagery. Your choice of phrasing created wonder and intrigues the reader to continue. This is a very good poem

    Fascinated by the rain, influenced by the wind. Adventure for fun.

  3. #3
    Senior Member ELR has a reputation beyond repute ELR has a reputation beyond repute ELR has a reputation beyond repute ELR has a reputation beyond repute ELR has a reputation beyond repute ELR has a reputation beyond repute ELR has a reputation beyond repute ELR has a reputation beyond repute ELR has a reputation beyond repute ELR has a reputation beyond repute ELR has a reputation beyond repute ELR's Avatar
    Gil
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    Default

    I can just imagine each detail seperately, how they seem to have so many different things, but once they ran together, once it felt like a film of watching lovers disappear, heart filled warmth poem. I ask you to continue writing, my friend, for I have a feeling you will fill peoples hearts with emotions that will shine brightly to them.
    I am no more a rose than I am its thorns.
    No more a gentle breeze than I am the hailing storm.
    I am no more hated than I am loved.
    And I am no more heartfilled than I am heartless.
    This is who I am.
    ~ELR

  4. #4
    Junior Member FanoBliv has a brilliant future FanoBliv has a brilliant future FanoBliv has a brilliant future FanoBliv has a brilliant future FanoBliv has a brilliant future FanoBliv has a brilliant future FanoBliv has a brilliant future FanoBliv has a brilliant future FanoBliv has a brilliant future FanoBliv has a brilliant future FanoBliv has a brilliant future FanoBliv's Avatar
    Gil
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    Default

    I actually had to process what I read. Bravo ;-)



  5. #5
    Senior Member Lady_Baneheart_Of_Blades has a reputation beyond repute Lady_Baneheart_Of_Blades has a reputation beyond repute Lady_Baneheart_Of_Blades has a reputation beyond repute Lady_Baneheart_Of_Blades has a reputation beyond repute Lady_Baneheart_Of_Blades has a reputation beyond repute Lady_Baneheart_Of_Blades has a reputation beyond repute Lady_Baneheart_Of_Blades has a reputation beyond repute Lady_Baneheart_Of_Blades has a reputation beyond repute Lady_Baneheart_Of_Blades has a reputation beyond repute Lady_Baneheart_Of_Blades has a reputation beyond repute Lady_Baneheart_Of_Blades has a reputation beyond repute Lady_Baneheart_Of_Blades's Avatar
    Gil
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    Default

    Whoo! Nice very nice. Rare that people use their writing like yours, sometimes in my writing I hide hidden messages. Last time I wrote a poem called 'Beaded Heart'. I find this one also about someone you love, only they end in a very ungrateful place. My messages are sometimes epic.
    Thank you for the gift Nespa



    Click > http://www.cityofif.com
    http://www.tomecity.com

  6. #6
    Senior Member kajikun16 has a reputation beyond repute kajikun16 has a reputation beyond repute kajikun16 has a reputation beyond repute kajikun16 has a reputation beyond repute kajikun16 has a reputation beyond repute kajikun16 has a reputation beyond repute kajikun16 has a reputation beyond repute kajikun16 has a reputation beyond repute kajikun16 has a reputation beyond repute kajikun16 has a reputation beyond repute kajikun16 has a reputation beyond repute kajikun16's Avatar
    Gil
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    Default Re: You and I

    nice and amazing i like it alot

  7. #7
    What a feeling in my soul Artcell has a reputation beyond repute Artcell has a reputation beyond repute Artcell has a reputation beyond repute Artcell has a reputation beyond repute Artcell has a reputation beyond repute Artcell has a reputation beyond repute Artcell has a reputation beyond repute Artcell has a reputation beyond repute Artcell has a reputation beyond repute Artcell has a reputation beyond repute Artcell has a reputation beyond repute Artcell's Avatar
    Gil
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    Default Re: You and I

    Wow,now that was excellent!You are good,dudette!Keep it up!Would love to see more poems of yours =^.^=
    Lovely set made by the awesome Arxia!
    Thanks so much girl!
    ♥♥♥

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