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A panda with a big bag walks into a McDonalds and orders a big meal. He sits down, finishes eating and suddenly grabs a shotgun from the bag. He kills everyone in the restaurant and then leaves. A man runs up to him and says: 'What the hell did you do that for?' The panda replies 'Thats what we pandas do. Look up pandas in the dictionary.' The man looks it up and it says 'Panda: Eats shoots and leaves.'
Chaos makes life fun, but order is a safety net.
What did Farah Fawcett and Michael Jackson get for Christmas last year?
lol, good jokes, mj one was a lil messed up tho.
These aren't the best, just what I can think of off the top of meh head.
Things you don't want to hear during surgery:
1. Accept this sacrifice, oh great lord of darkness!
2. Hand me that...uh...thingie
3. can you stop that thing from beating? It's throwing my concentration off
4. everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!
5. Darn! Page 47 of the manual is missing.
6. Oh crap, I lost my rolex.
7. Wait, how many cottonballs did we start with?
Only in america:
1. can pizza get to your house before an ambulance
2. are there are handicap parking spaces in front of a skating rink
3. do drugstores make the sick walk al the way to the back to get their prescription when the healthy can buy cigarettes at the front.
4. do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke
5. do banks leave both doors to the vault open and then chain the pens to the counters
6. do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars on the driveway and throw our useless junk in the garage
7. do we buy hot dogs in packages of 10 and buns in packages of 8
8. do they have drive up ATM machines with Braille lettering
Last edited by Knuffle Bunny; 05-03-2010 at 07:43 PM.
Siggeh made by me. Taking requests ATM! =3
those were funny and good points.
There are 2 hikers hikin in the moutains. its cold and theyre about 10 steps away from each other. One hiker find a watermelon, and so he eats it,but spits it back out cuz its so cold. Thten the second hiker comes,sees the watermelon,and eats it. He then smiles and goes"Mmmmm...so warmm..."
XD did anyone get that?
i didn't get it.............
Not really a joke, but a sign I saw somewhere. I forgot where, but I laughed my *** off.
It basically said:
-WARNING. TOUCHING WIRES WILL CAUSE INSTANT DEATH.-
and then under it it said:
-FINE: 200 DOLLARS-
Not everything is black and white like that.
I guess I'll make like a baby and head out....
What did one shepard say to the other?
"Let's get the flock outta here."
Man, I crack myself up...
65 Days of Static .
did you bring the buttfore? whats a buttfore?......for pooping silly.
Lol, I got one. So a Pirate walks into the bar right, steering wheel attached to his crotch. The bar tender looks at the pirate and says, "Pirate, why do you have that steering wheel attached to your crotch?" And the pirate responds, "YARR! It's driving me nuts!".. Rofl. *Drum roll.* Ah christ.. <3 that joke.
The only joke I can post without getting in trouble:
What do you get when you cross LSD and a birth control pill?
Edit: Another one:
What's the difference between a violin and a viola?
Last edited by SigmaSD; 08-14-2010 at 10:28 PM.
If Minecraft had a Japanese intro.
|Set made by Neukifly|
Super Saiyan Dango
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